the life-changing magic of tidying up

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my sister, before she could talk, was grabbing my toys and hiding them under her bed. my parents couldn't believe my claims that she was taking my toys until they cleaned under the bed.

mh, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:19 (seven years ago) link

this is why marie kondo and i will never get along

mh, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:19 (seven years ago) link

does your sister still do this?

sarahell, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:20 (seven years ago) link

you know, she dropped by to feed the cat at my place while I was out of town. should probably go to her house and check.

mh, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:22 (seven years ago) link

Far from apologizing for discarding their things without permission, I would retort, "I threw it out for you because you were incapable of doing it yourself."

i got the book to learn the life changing magic of tidying up but instead of changing my life i just ended up really enjoying reading about the author's eccentricities. in some ways it was hard to relate to her because i am a slob (something i hate about myself) but in other ways it was easy because she is also a weirdo.

Treeship, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:25 (seven years ago) link

For myself, I especially hate the idea of turning stuff into family heirlooms which then must be handed down across generations and kept safe by each successive owner so it can be passed along at death. It doesn't matter how small it is or how seemingly 'valuable' or emblematic of family history. If it has no place of its own and no real value to the present owner, it has lost its privileged aura and should be let go of as lightly and easily as if it were an empty cardboard box. Give it away within the family if you can, but if nobody else in the family wants it, ditch it without guilt.

For example, in about 1930 my grandfather, as newly minted associate professor who'd grown up as a poor farm boy in ragged overalls, bought a deluxe calfskin-bound Eleventh Edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica in its own custom bookcase. It was the supreme emblem of his rise in the world. It stood proudly in his living room in every place he dwelt. My mom knew how precious it was to him and took it in at his death. She passed it on to me, because I was the only child willing to take it. I did it to please her. Recently, I gave it to Goodwill. It had lost its purpose.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 8 July 2016 20:26 (seven years ago) link

imo the purpose was to sell that sucker to a collector and have a nice meal celebrating granddad

mh, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:30 (seven years ago) link

you'll be sorry once this internet fad is over and you can't look up anything

Treeship, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:30 (seven years ago) link

have you lately tried selling an old encyclopedia and bookcase that stands about five feet high by three feet wide by a foot deep and weighs approx. 100 lbs.? Even if I got a nibble over the internet, shipping that monster would have been a huge headache.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 8 July 2016 20:41 (seven years ago) link

that's why I said "a nice meal" and not the $4k somebody is trying to charge on ebay

mh, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:42 (seven years ago) link

eh heirlooms matter (to me, anyway) but yeah it depends what they are. About the only thing I have of my grandfather's posessions is one of these: https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fbd%2F73%2F2d%2Fbd732d30a8de0545d357a00713a9e286.jpg&f=1 Still works! So in an emergency I can listen to Xtian nutjobs on AM radio. And I have some small statues + a painting from my grandmother. These things are small and/or decorative so no big deal.

Οὖτις, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:45 (seven years ago) link

oops sorry lol hueg

Οὖτις, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:45 (seven years ago) link

once you have a place for everything, the idea is that when a new item enters your home, you have decide whether it has a place or if you should discard it.

this is basically my philosophy. I hate having stuff for stuff's sake. As a result I hardly have anything decorative or any furniture as I'm building that up and take bloody ages to painstakingly choose each piece. It's partly a result of moving countries and cities so often and wanting to buy stuff I know I'll want to keep for ages rather than replace it all the time. But my house seems a bit bare until such time as I can swan around buying delightful objets d'art...

certain members of my family equate quantity with quality so always buys me loads of *stuff*. I enjoy permitting myself to pass it on.

kinder, Friday, 8 July 2016 20:47 (seven years ago) link

but, you say that these items have value to you and a place in your life, which passes the threshold test for keeping them.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 8 July 2016 20:49 (seven years ago) link

ten months pass...

if you actually like all your clutter and it makes you happy, she's not against that. but she gives you permission to throw out shit you're only holding onto out of guilt. and the idea is to get rid of all the bad shit so your life in your home is more enjoyable.

I am starting this process! I've lived in the same apartment for 20 years this November, so part of this is coming to terms that I am no longer in my 20s and that my interests and activities have changed, maybe not drastically, but significantly. So, it's less about holding onto things because of guilt, and more about holding onto things out of fear -- fear of change, fear of getting "old."

I think it's going to take multiple passes through various categories of things. The trick for me, so far, has been physically removing the things I'm getting rid of. For the most part, these are things that other people would like and could use. Also, there's a mental back and forth of "do I try to sell this or do I just donate it?"

sarahell, Saturday, 13 May 2017 21:32 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

This article is kind of amazing

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/boomers-unwanted-inheritance/2015/03/27/0e75ff6e-45c4-11e4-b437-1a7368204804_story.html?utm_term=.a53f93c8b4e5

in the way it effortlessly pivots from "millennials and their rigorously minimal lifestyle rejecting suburban parental furniture" to "white people making money off regional Mexican cuisine"

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 11:36 (six years ago) link

does it go into the role of stairs and buildings without elevators in terms of the appeal of various pieces of furniture?

sarahell, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 20:26 (six years ago) link

62 percent of millennials prefer to live in the type of mixed-use communities found in urban centers where they can live near shopping, restaurants and work. And 40 percent say they would want to live there in the future.

lord

sexualing healing (crüt), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 20:38 (six years ago) link

sorry kneejerk reaction to "mixed-use." it's normal to want to live near shopping & work.

sexualing healing (crüt), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 20:39 (six years ago) link

hahah yeah, "mixed-use" is pretty much code for luxury apartment/condo complexes that gentrify cities

sarahell, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 20:41 (six years ago) link

To make matters worse, young adults don’t seem to want their own college textbooks, sports trophies or T-shirt collections, still entombed in plastic containers at their parents’ homes.

so many gems in this article

sarahell, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 20:49 (six years ago) link

there's a mental back and forth of "do I try to sell this or do I just donate it?"

― sarahell, Saturday, May 13, 2017 10:32 PM (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

boy don't i know this, we have an eternal "garage sale" pile in a closet that we keep adding to. actually this is sort of why i still have as many records as i do as well, the eternal "do i trade 5 records in at amoeba to get one i really want, or do i spend time trying to sell them on eBay?"

nomar, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:06 (six years ago) link

I'm a terrible person, but when I do this type of cleaning up I only have two piles, keep and put in the alley. Donation/selling too much effort.

Jeff, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:14 (six years ago) link

Love me some KonMari

Treeship, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:19 (six years ago) link

xp - do you not have people in your neighborhood on nextdoor or everyblock that regularly complain about their neighbors putting stuff out to give away and causing blight?

sarahell, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:27 (six years ago) link

Not really, the scavengers swoop down pretty quickly and pick stuff up. Part of the reason I don't feel so bad about it.

Jeff, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:28 (six years ago) link

xp nomar - the used book store I like is great, because they also take donations to Prison Libraries, so the stuff they don't buy, you can just put them in the Prison Library donation area, for your decluttering convenience.

sarahell, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:30 (six years ago) link

dosughsfkuhsfgo'husgfouhsf

the ghost of markers, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 22:40 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

This thread basically covers almost everything we went over on the netflix thread. Ha.

Yerac, Monday, 14 January 2019 17:59 (five years ago) link

well of course it does

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 14 January 2019 18:32 (five years ago) link

If it no longer brings you joy, you should delete the bookmark.

rb (soda), Monday, 14 January 2019 18:35 (five years ago) link

ilx ouroboros

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Monday, 14 January 2019 18:36 (five years ago) link

thank you thread and goodbye

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 14 January 2019 18:44 (five years ago) link

I love this show. I liked the book too.

Trϵϵship, Saturday, 19 January 2019 02:14 (five years ago) link

I am surprised we have an I love home.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Saturday, 19 January 2019 11:29 (five years ago) link

i stopped watching the first episode because i hated the reality dad so much

Karl Malone, Saturday, 19 January 2019 23:04 (five years ago) link

My otherwise-lovely grandma burned lots of my favourite stuff on a bonfire when I was about 6.
My father-in-law, who threw out my wife's notebooks full of notes about films and my children's soft toys because he thought them "useless," and who seems to own about 5-10 books in total, always says we have "too much stuff!"

Just hearing about this book / TV series over the last couple of weeks is basically giving me palpitations, and I'm going to find any way I can to mute it from everywhere I go.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 19 January 2019 23:14 (five years ago) link

Despite my contempt for these kinds of "oh finally this is the key to life" things which are really about the futility of consumer culture, I was forced into this scenario by separating from my wife, living in a minuscule apartment, taking only things for which my need outweighed my reluctance to further upset my wife, and duplicate purchasing those things which were essential to us both. Apart from stuff which was just plainly mine (largely ceremonial guitar collection) I have ended up living with about 1/4 as many things and pretty fine with that. The mental clarity, however, I ascribe to leaving an unhappy environment and near constant anxiety and anger. I wonder how many of the people doing this are using it as a displacement activity to avoid addressing what's really wrong.
Jeeze I really nailed the "bitter middle-aged man" vibe there it seems. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Saturday, 19 January 2019 23:16 (five years ago) link

I wonder how many of the people doing this are using it as a displacement activity to avoid addressing what's really wrong.

board description

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 20 January 2019 00:19 (five years ago) link

close to the bone for me!

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 20 January 2019 00:23 (five years ago) link

that describes like 80% of everything that everyone does

call all destroyer, Sunday, 20 January 2019 02:18 (five years ago) link

otm

the late great, Sunday, 20 January 2019 02:37 (five years ago) link

tbf the show does address that thought - that by tidying up, you can actually move onto confronting your problems rather than avoiding it through clutter

Nhex, Sunday, 20 January 2019 02:45 (five years ago) link

and i can believe it somewhat - letting your home become a sprawling, unknownable mess is a pretty good metaphor

Nhex, Sunday, 20 January 2019 02:46 (five years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPVk-m1Pr4s

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 22 January 2019 19:29 (five years ago) link

kondo is great. accumulating too many possessions is bad.

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 19:36 (five years ago) link

Just hearing about this book / TV series over the last couple of weeks is basically giving me palpitations, and I'm going to find any way I can to mute it from everywhere I go.


I never got attached to things. Absolutely zero bonding. Maybe I have that from my grandmother and my dad. The first had zero attachment to things (and pple lolz). My dad maybe bec he was a salesman? Who knows. But me? I could leave everything behind and not shed a tear. Also, I love throwing out/giving away things. But I can understand how painful it must be when someone else decides to destroy your things.

nathom, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 21:06 (five years ago) link

🖼


"Goodbye sucker, thanks for nothing."

nathom, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 21:07 (five years ago) link

I watched one ep -- to me it kind of sounds like every other "life changing" thing that only changes your life for about two weeks before you start to slide. Also, fuck folding t-shirts into little nugget shapes.

Getting rid of excess stuff is good, but you need to address the in-door and not just the out-door, i.e. how to avoid buying stuff you don't need in the first place. Otherwise you're just performing routine maintenance on your excessively consumeristic life. I find that we often go through that process of "Oh, x thing is ugly and doesn't serve a purpose" but then we wind up buying y thing that we convince ourselves will make our lives better than x thing did, and it doesn't. Same happens with clothing -- getting rid of stuff I wound up not wearing doesn't prevent me from falling for the same add'l 40% off sale items "well it's not exactly the color I want" trap over and over again.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 22 January 2019 21:11 (five years ago) link


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