OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Welcome to "Art Tavana vs. the World," a monthly column in which L.A. Weekly's angriest (and nerdiest) music critic, Art Tavana, takes on his many nemeses in an ambitious quest to boldly go where no other critic has gone before.

this is the text equivalent of the jerk-off hand motion.

a nerd edgy and ambitious enough to call robb stark a pussy

wow the la weekly ran something shitty, what a surprise

i guess this guy had to stay erect after writing a cover story on sasha grey

the thing is it's getting traffic and i know from experience that the paper's upper management only cares about clicks

so, you know. fuck it

Read that as:

the thing is it's getting traffic and i know from experience that the paper's upper management only cares about dicks

six of one

dickbait

right-dick to save image

the funny thing is when you realize that y'all are the only target audience for this stuff

You mean, we are the dicks?

don't give them your rage-dicks!

this guy's article history reminds me of all the things i hate about l.a.

(also went to look at the independent article and looks like the editors took it down. was there a statement or something or did they just "whoops" away the thing because it was getting clowned?)

Even in the candid photo of her nude in the shower, soaking wet, she looks natural like a terrified young woman about to be butchered by a man wearing a mask made of skin

Wait so was the guy in the Independent thing ending every other sentence with "b" because he was so street?

pfft

LA Weekly Music ‏@LAWeeklyMusic 1h1 hour ago
Seeing feedback to the @skyferreira story & tweet. We hear you. We truly didn't mean to offend & will address further in an upcoming post.

"like a freshly licked lollipop"

this has to be the worst five words ever written by anyone anywhere ever in human history

story is still up of course

takes on his many nemeses in an ambitious quest to boldly go where no other critic has gone before.

We truly didn't mean to offend

does not add up.

i must have confined myself to a weird life/internet bubble for way too long, cuz i can't imagine anyone writing or publishing such a thing. it feels decades out of time.

"Both Sky and Madonna have similar breasts in both cup size and ability to cause a shitstorm."

either this guy is also bad at metaphors or I just learned a lot about the sort of pornography this guy watches

i must have confined myself to a weird life/internet bubble for way too long, cuz i can't imagine anyone writing or publishing such a thing. it feels decades out of time.

― oculus lump (contenderizer), Friday, June 17, 2016 10:14 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

exactly this

also it is indicative of 2016 that an article like this can contain both "she looks... sweet, like a freshly licked lollipop" and "I'm not trying to otherize this woman"

Nothing matters in 2016 and there will be zero consequences for anyone involved, btw

consequences = dude had to make his twitter private

L.A. Weekly's angriest (and nerdiest) music critic

is this not f@ntano?

Nothing matters in 2016 and there will be zero consequences for anyone involved, btw

― queen elseq of ærendelle (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, June 18, 2016 5:03 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tbomb

there's an apology piece on L.A. Weekly and the comments section, though it only has half a dozen comments, somehow became a bat signal for MRAs whining about SJWs. http://www.3danvil.com/emoticons/jerkoff.gif

http://www.laweekly.com/music/about-that-sky-ferreira-piece-it-crossed-the-line-and-were-sorry-7043581

This comment though:

lol this "apology" is too much: within the first paragraph, they cite the one male response to a sexist, misogynist piece as "the most damning and cleverist" and they express amused shock that "even" Teen Vogue took them to task, and even Teen Vogue was right--even those silly little young women seem to have big ol' brains!

"My biggest regret, in all of this, is that WE *MAY* HAVE MADE PEOPLE *FEEL* like L.A. Weekly is a publication that doesn't take women or women's issues seriously."
So classic, so elegant. The Little Black Dress of non-apologies.

it is depressing and sad to read the twitter replies on the L.A. Weekly Music account. somehow this piece and the backlash was picked up by the gamer gate crowd, and there are some vile opinions on there from some vile shitstains.

oh god m1l0 picked it up. that dude...

Tavana's piece did cross the line. It was offensive, and on behalf of him and L.A. Weekly, I apologize for it.

I am not here to make excuses; instead, I will say that, in this line of work, we make judgment calls on what to say and how to say it all the time, and sometimes we get it wrong. This time, Tavana and I got it wrong.

struggling to see how this is a "non-apology" rather than an just an apology

xp

ugh xxpost

I will never read this terrible article but the controversy reminded me of sky ferreira. her most recent album is like a treasure trove of rad power pop

"Nobody asked me if i was ok" might be my favorite. I suspect a bunch of ppl think of it as a secret personal anthem - something to listen to when you reminisce over old grudges

yeah Night Time, My Time is amazing. Can't wait for the next one.

Yeah. It was annoying to me at the time that the album was overshadowed by discussions of the cover art, which in any case I thought people misinterpreted. There was a lot to say about that collection of songs: the record struck an interesting balance between engaging/foiling audience expectations and just being its own thing, which is tough thing to pull off in a highly anticipated debut album that was pushed back a bunch of times. I hope the writer of the LA weekly piece chokes on a pretzel. Not lethally, but enough to give him a good scare and maybe embarass him a little.

"lost in my bedroom" is of course one of the great songs of the decade bc of the understated vocals.

Fwiw the tweet is refreshingly NOT the typical non apology

Our critics are right and we were wrong. The Sky Ferreira piece was offensive and sexist. We're sorry. https://t.co/aWXMyD5mR1

What of Mr Tavana, is he even angrier (and nerdier) now?

the Sasha Grey piece he wrote was also crummy but I guess he successfully cloaked his gross misogyny.

Well, she's got smaller tits than Ferreira, so maybe he wasn't as committed to the assignment.

lol boom!

coincidentally been listening to night time, my time a lot the past couple weeks; treeship otm re "nobody asked me" but i also go kind of embarrassingly crazy for "omanko".

maura nobly didn't link the sasha grey piece but i googled it anyway, indefensibly yielding a click, then tapped out after a single paragraph of aspiring magazine prose about what she was wearing when she arrived at the restaurant.

What about how "heavy metal heart" reuses and transforms the main riff of "you're not the one," the track righy before it

Tbh the kind of meta-cultural commentary that piece was going for -- trying to "place things" or make claims about what something as large as pop music "needs today," as if cultural is just a self-correcting machine that moves in an eternal circle -- is annoying in itself, apart from the egregious sexism. As a lens it's incapable of registering anything that actually makes music enjoyable or meaningful.

http://decibelmagazine.com/blog/2016/6/20/does-the-underground-metal-scene-really-have-a-sjw-problem

Some really awful writing here and fuck Decibel for promoting this bullshit. Subscription cancelled.