Worst TV adverts of the moment

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I was going to mention that unbelievably smug couple on the car insurance adverts I loathe them and don't care about their stupid fictional relationship dramas. If they really had such a petrfect relationship surely they would talk about something else other than bloody car insurance? Click here and fly to Canada - oh fine, just need a spare £600 quid too at their prices. And on the escalators: Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! And all TV Asda adverts.

― Anna, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I flew to Canada (Toronto) to for £224 return with that company so I think they're ace.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Anna - that AA couple aren't smug! They're miserable and fractious and a chilling emblem of our times.

I LOVE the Link advert, but I'm prepared to accept it's for similar "ah - a good old fashioned cheery crappy ad" reasons as my fondness for the never updated Argos campaign.

creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ooh yes - that's the original 'I have to change channels cause this makes me nauseous' ad. Apparently Madchen's gran loves it cause it reminds her of Madchen's dad at a similar age.

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

so am i weird for collecting the admiral insurance ads from the tube. bless them, they saved £££s.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"I LOVE the Link advert"

Pervert.

Actually, this reminds me of a girl I used to know who said she loved dentist drills.

― Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Boddingtons ones with the transgender cow on the pull. AAAAAGH.

Any ad where the magic of Animatronics allows toddlers or animals to SPEAK. GRRRRRR!

Any ad on Channel 5 which shows exactly what media buyers think of the viewers, eg debt ones, dial LAWYERS ones, old folks' maladies and life insurance ones. All the most awfyul American imports of the ages in one break from Family Affairs omnibus when I am hung over and de-motivated. SCREEEEEE!

― suzy, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Stupid Currys advert where they deliver a new telly to the woman who used to be Viv's mate on Emmerdale on a SUNDAY, shock horror, while her useless hubby is asleep in an armchair, and the delivery men say 'shall we take the old thing away' and she says 'no let him sleep it is Sunday after all'.

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

― Emma, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Boddingtons transgender cow = GRATE esp. first ep when girl-girl fellatio-facial is somehow implied k-blimey oreillyXoR who approved THAT!!

― mark s, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm sort of chums with the bloke in the new Wrigleys adverts - the one who smashes sandwiches and cream cakes with a massive packet of Orbit or whatever. These ads = classic or dud? particularly compared to the meta-cheesy "she's love your onion breath" ads of youre?

― Mark C, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

They remind me of the last series of Takeover TV = they are rather poor.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

There are many ambiguous things they could ask that would be better than 'shall I take the old thing away?'. How about 'shall I take this old pile of shit away?' or 'this isn't much use to you know - shall I take it away?' or 'do you want me to get rid of your husband?' ('husband' is slang for TV set in Berkshire)

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

They're absolute dud Mark. They're obviously based on Trigger Happy TV: problem here being that most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it" so Orbit = WRONG! I also hate that ICE advert where the chap goes through an airport security thing and gets a lady guard to strip him down URGH. Please. Smug self-satisfied wankXoR. Oh god I can go home in ten minutes. Pleeeeeeease hurry up. I shall keep an eye out for Mark @ Embankment tube also but considering he has just posted I thinks I will probably not be seeing him there.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Aargh, thinko. I meant Trigger Happy not Takeover above.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it"
I think you are deliberately misunderstanding the process by which advertising works.

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

McDonalds ad...grumpy sister comes in, "what's wrong?" asks little brother..."nothing"...little brother raids money box, takes out his LAST £2!...Goes to McDonalds and buys her a happy meal.

What kinda of messed up message is this? Blowing your last two quid on a happy meal for someone else? I mean the kid could have at least had got his dad to pay for it! (you get the thanks without incurring financial hardship = crafty!)

― james, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Mervyn's-it begins with me!" Die, Mervyn's Lady, die!

― Arthur, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The new one for Chrysler using "the Universal" (one of the only truly lovely Blur songs! Curse Kojack Albarn and his Freddy Krueger dreams of world domination). It shows these Chrysler execs (designers, I suppose) getting all misty eyed about the thought of their beloved children, the cars, having to go out into the cruel world without them (hence the "Just Let Them Go" refrain from the song).

Chrysler is one of company's clients, and believe me the only thing any of them would ever get misty eyed about is the idea of spending an extra dime. If they could make a crappy car out of nerf and sell it for a profit they would.

Also, Maura's Chrysler ad is really bad as well. Someone shoot their ad agency.

I don't have anything against Chrysler really, but their commercials are bad. BMW are 100 times worse to deal with as a client but their commercials are clever.

― Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes! I hate that Chrysler one too. I think that they *should* build that NERF car tho.

― Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nerf is kewl, but what I meant is something that is cheap to manufacture and will probably come apart pretty easily. Kind of like that old "Adobe Car" skit on Saturday Night Live.

― Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh god, that "Universal" ad. I did randomly stumble across that one and I LARFED. Damon being the good communist that he is, I'm sure he turned over the money for the cause. Or did he stop being a communist?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That hair plug fund money has to be generated somehow.

― Nicole, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nicole :
What do you do ?

― anthonyeaston, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Jeep ad which has it driving up and down the statue of liberty while some patriotic song plays in the background. could they be anymore obvious with their (bad) exploitation of current events?

― Samantha, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The ad whick compares car swapping to wife swapping. Amazingly dirty & disturbing for network tv.

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one year passes...

That 'Hard nosed businessman' Stephen Fry narrated Orange campaign. Utterly crass, stretched from an idea with no mileage in it whatsoever. What were they thinking?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Aw Nick you are too hard! I think that one's quite funny - I like the guy bossing his son around on the beach.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

his son should have a little metal nose.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

But how does the steel-nosed businessman supposed to appeal to us or fit in with anything they are trying to convey about Orange?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

So...are you gellin'?

Are you gellin' like a felon?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

does = is

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

S'all about being available all the time, N. And being ordered. And cutting costs. It will appeal to your average city wanker type. I know - I work with enough of them.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

The cunts in the Direct line ad win this every time. There relationship must be the most sexless, depressing, denial-laden relationship ever.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 17:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

But yr city wanker type doesn't want to be cuddly-caricatured by sodding Stephen Fry, surely? And the rest of us just think 'Errgh - mobile phones are for wankers after all. We were right in 1987.'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 17:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

eleven months pass...

the new 'whens-a your-a Dolmio day?' featuring those actually quite well made puppets...backward step in Anglo-Italin relations or a cuddly tribute to the nuances of our pasta-munching cousins?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago) link

six months pass...

So yeah, apart from the Clairol Fruit Essences one with the crappy monkeys, the one I have to turn over for at the moment is the '"I wish I were a blue whale" Strongbow one. Does anyone else find it excruciating. That man is so objectionable and the whole concept of the ad is so shit. Strongbow ads are always rubbish. I hate the world of cider drinkers they depict.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:32 (nineteen years ago) link

At the moment the Toucan "last phone call" ads are driving me bonkers. Cause they show them CONSTANTLY during CSI.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:34 (nineteen years ago) link

The Clairol one is crap because it starts off as a generic "let's (almost) show a nice looking woman's tits" advert and ends with this jarring Godardian jumpcut to a pair of unfunny monkeys

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Those fucking adverts with Craig Thingy from the Royle Family - where he does the "I ran into an old friend" joke - a joke which was actually discovered in Tutankhamun's tomb except there it was about chariots. And that gormless Terry Fuckwit routine he does is almost as ancient.

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Hard to think of a really atrociously bad current advert which doesn't involve Johnny Vaughan or Dougie Donnelly.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 October 2004 09:44 (nineteen years ago) link

"Maybe it's because I'm a drug dealer
That I've got a career in the media"

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:45 (nineteen years ago) link

the latest abhorrent ad trend: slogans that are meant to sound like realpeoplespeak ("i'm lovin' it"*; "you should see what's on hgtv"**; "very funny"***; "you should go"****). ugh, stop trying to relate! i hate you.

*mcdonald's
**hgtv (home & garden television)
***tbs (the turner superstation)
****t.j. maxx

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:51 (nineteen years ago) link

also, dunno if it's just a local thing, but the "man on the street"-style 1-800-MATTRESS commercial with the trio of accenty longislandistas singing the jingle off-key... it's gotta go.

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:57 (nineteen years ago) link

the...lenny...kravitz...gap...ad...

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 October 2004 09:58 (nineteen years ago) link

"they're just a kid... eatin' a drumstick... like YOU used to be."

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:02 (nineteen years ago) link

"your website would be the bomb if the gecko did the robot."

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Marcello so on the money he should be the queen. And Sarah Jessica Fucking Horsefaced Harpy Parker as well! Infamy!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Also, Smirnoff ice or whatever and their lyriquid perfection shit. Only gaked-up ad wankers could actually watch the Niccan Micra spafe abomination and think "yeah, let's rip that off".

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"di saronno on the rocks." (woman gives come-hither look to metrosexual bartender.)

"di saronno on the rocks." (metrosexual bartender gives come-fuck-me look to woman.)

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Quote. Me. Happy.

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:53 (nineteen years ago) link

is that ridiculous Head & Shoulders advert where the man won't let his gf use his manky cheap dandruff shampoo still showing?

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:58 (nineteen years ago) link

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