your terrible ideas

lol

OMG @ the actual thing that Carl Marks is.

It's like that time when entrepreneurs Will Adle and Geoffrey Fiddler used the combination of their last names as the name of their Jewish rights organization.

a turntable with a large bowl above a non-adjustable tracking force weight. parents can fill this bowl with vegetables to be sure their hipster child cannot listen to records until he has eaten his vegetables.

or you can fill it with cat food and have Bob Seger alarm you that your cat is low on food

maybe the bowl has a heating element so that you can boil water and use it as an alarm for a duration set by the amount of water you put in

something similar to those nerd merchandise box things (lootcrate, etc) where you get a random selection of items related to your interest, but for stoners

doobcrate

http://i.imgur.com/5qqhMXK.jpg iirc

http://cdn1.theweedblog.com/wp-content/uploads/skywalker-og-marijuana-strain1.jpg

a multidisciplinary meta sports league called Skill that sends its representatives to different sporting events to judge the teams based on their adherence to proper form rather than how many goals they've scored. the NBA might award the Hawks a 115-to-104 victory over the Celtics, but the Skill judges, taking into account the quality of every pass, jump, and guard, might award the Celtics an 827-to-784 victory in the same game. the Skill scoring system will be scaled so that you can compare the best basketball team to the best air hockey team or the best tennis player to the best conkers player, and Skill awards ceremonies will be a zoo of athletes who would otherwise have nothing to do with each other.

I'm not sure how Skill judges would deal with sports like gymnastics and dance where athletes are already judged solely on form. I guess they'd just cosign the official scores.

I conceived a web series called "Dad Patrol" in which a group of vigilante dads show up where teenagers are making trouble and embarrass them.

or you can fill it with cat food and have Bob Seger alarm you that your cat is low on food

― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, May 4, 2016 4:05 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thanking you for now hearing a loop of Seger singing "hey man your cat is out of food" to the tune of 'Old Time Rock n' Roll'.

a comic book with a story identical to that of batman but the bored rich guy instead uses his wealth to cheat at sports and break records

t-shirt saying NO FUTURE but the FUTURE part is crossed out

Remake of Eraserhead spliced together out of footage from Eraser and Head.

a gift for one of my friends whom I after a fun weeknd in Hamburg's St. Pauli quarter jokingly call "saint poundy" consisting of among other things: an Ezra Pound collection, pound cake, one pound sterling... other terrible suggestions welcome

A cassingle of Van Halen's Poundcake

Here you go:

http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.H0.Xvan+halen+poundcake+single.TRS0&_nkw=van+halen+poundcake+single&_sacat=0

A Pound Puppy doll. One-seventh of a DVD of the movie Seven Pounds. And you should probably have his car im-'pound'-ed. If he's really your friend, he'll get the joke.

the works of chuck tingle.

A website devoted exclusively to video footage of people's necks while they're swallowing.

Starting a girl group that sound like yr boring ellee goldings or whatever but its cover versions of riot grrrl classics

Pussycat Dolls (ft. Will.I.Am) - 'Suck My Left One'

Good advice itt, thx

a tiny bottle bank in which to dispose of your used nitrous oxide canisters

aka the gutter of my street

A lavish, big budget feature film entitled Snow White and the Seven Dorfs, starring Tim Conway.

co-starring Steven Dorff

Like maybe there's just six Dorfs for most of the movie and the audience is like, what's up with that, but then Steven Dorff briefly pokes out from behind a chair and waves at the camera and then everyone is all like, ah and there's the seventh Dorf(f), you got us but good.

an online service tentatively titled KEEP READING that somehow based on user data or something maps out interest in novels by page (like some novels really only start once you're past the first 70 pages of establishing or maybe the initial crisis/murder/plot-starting-mechanism occurs at page 92) and so when you're reading a novel that seems decent but also you're like "I wonder if it gets better" or "I wonder if it's gonna stay this way or if it kinda like starts soon" you just look it up on KEEP READING which will tell you how far you have to get into the work of art at hand (come to think of it could also be a movie but then would call it KEEP LOOKING) before it gets going and so if you're close you keep reading and if you're past it you put the book down

now that would be handy

A Viagra commercial featuring 70s Miles Davis music with the tagline "Get It Up With It"

a thread called 'ilxors u don't miss' where we list current posters' old DNs

"There Will Come Soft Tweets" -- a sci-fi short story told in tweets among fictitious presidential candidates and pundits, all of whom turn out to be bots tweeting eternally about an election that never takes place since there are no more humans.

How long until there's some Trump related parody of POTUSA's "Lump"? That seems like a terrible idea.

Google 'POTUSA's "Lump"' - it's the first result.

https://soundcloud.com/voiceoverdan/trump

A jazz duo record featuring Tommy Flanagan and Menachem Begin called Begin' for Flanagan.

Follow up is called Flanagan Begin Again

clothing line/store for stylish dads called Miami Dad County

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, November 26, 2014 11:40 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

MDC, Inc. is introducing its new youth-oriented line in 2017, Emperor Constant Teen

A mash-up of a sped-up Imperial March from Star Wars and 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' from Mary Poppins.

Playground webcams so that parents could see how crowded area playgrounds are before leaving home

^ perfectly encapsulates exactly what this thread is all about.

Public bathroom cams so you can make sure they're not disgusting before walking in

A dishwasher launderette. Take a big box of your dirty crockery, load 'em up, kick back for an hour or two.

An indie dramedy about a workaholic civil servant where the only music is the iOS "Playtime" tone and variations thereof

for non iphone users: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3gfu6hkbvY

Terrible idea: sell ringtones that are samples of rhythm presets from 90s Casio keyboards.

that's a great idea

We had this one at home, and I'd love the demo song as my ringtone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUAHru53P0w

"Breakaway" musical equipment -- basically guitars, amps etc. that are designed to "break" on stage when you smash them but actually survive, e.g. the guitar is pre-split and held together by wires or something.