Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CfY2FMCUAAAh9LJ.jpg

Namaste ;)

anyone want to write me a profile for this site

profiles are on their way out afaict. mine looks like moby dick compared to most of the ones i'm seeing these days. i mean it was always a bit long-winded but i feel like at least a slim majority of the new profiles i see are derived from thinking about a dating profile kinda like a tinder profile. very short and mysterious. god knows what you're supposed to write people about. i wasn't made for these times.

I'm glad we're finally winnowing it down to only the boldest, most attractive people being allowed to date.

(immediately physically attractive obv)

anyone want to write me a profile for this site

suggest lj

I've been getting more action thru OKC of late, but I suspect it has to do with the world realizing my looks and the depth of my charm.

fair point

along similar lines, i turned mine off

Did I ever mention that I got tired of trying and changed all my dating profiles to just read "I love avocados" about a year ago and haven't reopened them since

I quit in Jan, though I did write someone else's profile a month or two ago

How does that work? I mean, do you write it as if you're reviewing the person or are you Cyranoing that shit?

The former option. It hasn't had much effect on her dating life one way or another, AFAICT.

surprised this didn't get brought up:

https://www.wired.com/2016/05/okcupid-study-reveals-perils-big-data-science/

a danish "researcher" scraped the site and put up a dataset of the results of all q's w/o consent of the users

quick perusal of the guy's social media showed strong hints of being an obtuse asshole, fyi

When contacted by Motherboard for comment, Kirkegaard was dismissive, stating he “would like to wait until the heat has declined a bit before doing any interviews. Not to fan the flames on the social justice warriors.”

"unscientific discussion" seems to follow the "I believe in science, not morality" stance a bunch of jerks have been taking lately

wired says he took the set down; when i saw this blowing up a couple weeks ago he hadn't yet. which i guess means there's no way to know if your shit's out there.

here's his twitter

https://twitter.com/KirkegaardEmil

don't have a link rn but there is a way to check; someone put up something iirc on github to allow you to srch the dataset by username just to check. guy is obviously a p.o.s. & the ramifications of this/seeming lack of oversight by his academy are rly horrifying i think.

i think he was doing the "research" on his own as an amateur; his degree program is in an unrelated field. or something.

back on here, seems like there are way more spam bots now eh

q:

did 'kiddo'/'kiddos' start being used in possessives / as a direct object ('my kiddos' / 'i have a kiddo'), rather than being used as a term of address to one's kids, as a form of dating profile evasive maneuver? i don't see it so much elsewhere but it seems like the norm on this kind of site now.

Waitamo, that data scraper dude's excuse was 'tough tits, data is already public", but it isnt, unless things have changed. Most people have their profile set to only be visible to others with OKC logins. Not to the ehole world.

I think kiddo is more of a general (American) English usage these days. My co-worker refers to her daughter as "the kiddo" like, daily. She's not on OKC, either.

So...when you get friendly, polite messages from people you're just not interested in based on their profile, the preferred response is:

a) Ignore the messages.
b) Engage with what was said, but add that you're not interested.
c) Just say you're not interested.
d) Other.

I've gotten a few of these and don't want to be mean, but I also don't want to spend a bunch of emotional energy on people I don't at least find kind of cute to begin with :/

imho nobody is ever even slightly obligated to respond to messages on dating sites. i get the impulse sometimes, and every so often i do send what i hope is a polite no-thank-you, but basically if you were obligated, the obligation would be endless. you don't know them and you don't owe them anything, and i feel most of them would understand the same etiquette if the positions were reversed.

that's probably reasonable. lol, honestly this kind of thing can be more anxiety-producing for me than actual dates.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/02/hater-dating-app-will-match-you-based-on-mutual-dislikes.html

perhaps the partner of my dreams also hates being awake, being sober, and leaving the house

Hater should have its own thread imho

I posted that link a minute before you on another thread.

oh wait, mine was to a vice article about the same thing n/m

this is a good idea imo

ppl bond over their shared hatred for things way more than their shared interests

they're going to have to close when they run out of Trumps

read mookie's post a few times, and i think he may be my perfect partner

*blushes*

nobody's perfect

Hater is kind of crap - it's not just "I hate" but the spectrum from love to hate as options and the questions are even worse than I expected. How do you feel about manicures/

I could use one tbh

things u hate can become an obsession tho

id hate to be with someone that obsesses about something i hate and have different levels of attention we think we ought to pay to such garbage

if i hate something i dont even want to think about it

none of this hate-watch/hate-read garbage people do these days

I think you just need Tinder overlaid with a half dozen 'world defining' questions - "Donald Trump: Y/N" that type of thing.

Yeah Tindr would be EXPONENTIALLY more useful with just the tiniest sliver of OKC-style matching, letting me purge from the rolls the 95%+ of the local user base that I have noooooooothing in common with and who just form a horrible plaque making use of the app an enormous chore.

Newest changes: QuickMatch rebranded as "DoubleTake" for some reason (functionality seems identical?) and, much more irksomely, normal match search removes option to sort by "Who's New." Maybe other things?

EWWWWWW they changed the font!!

AND the icons for "x% Ethics, x% Lifestyle," etc.

one of a local pair of conjoined twins has an okc profile. aside from the photos she doesn't give any indication that there might be unique challenges to dating her. knowing what most women deal with, the unwanted email messages must be a nightmare.

Did they get rid of the "visitors" tab?

I still have it on desktop, but not on mobile.

We’ve removed visitors so you can focus on better connections
Without the distraction of visitors, you can focus on the people who really want to get to know you. And when you’re focused on those people, your chances of higher quality connections improves.

Yeah, nah, they just want you to pay for A-list

https://theblog.okcupid.com/why-were-removing-visitors-847b00f4293d

comments are fun

I mean, they have to make money somehow

I have been thinking about reactivating my profile, but the best thing would probably be to workshop the thing with a friend and make sure I'm putting my best foot forward. It seems like a lot of work, but it'd probably be worth it.

I have friends who have had some dating success with other sites, but to be honest, there's this ephemeral culture fit or niche that I still associate with okcupid and not other sites. It might be wrong? Is there anything else that you'd even half-heartedly endorse?