I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

Welcome to the, er, club!

thank you, i've yet to come up with a nsme for the little bugger

i mean is that what people do with dildos, name them? ive always assumed

My husband (jokingly?) calls mine "my competition."

what abt Cynthia or Andrea or Jennifer?

i was thinking the way people name boats. or racehorses. or akc show dogs.

"tradewinds"

"baby's new shoes"

"daniel's most auspicious sterling whisper"

"problematic fave"

Straight Fire Beautiful Dong

Sausalito II

"bashful"

I had one called Hebron

are anal beads even worthy of a name

Not if you have to name each one,

i don't think i've ever used a dildo in action...

beads only at a bachelor party. with a woman.

dying @ "tradewinds"

are anal beads even worthy of a name

they're like one of those families who name all their kids with the same initial

kimberly, kyle, kristin, kathleen, and little kevin

The Sandpiper

Bird of Song's Elegant Graceful Regal Grains of Paradise

rosecliff

they're like one of those families who name all their kids with the same initial

i have cousins who were named this way :/

(i like my beads btw)

Beads > dildo, imo

sorry people, i have to blab somewhere. i had sex with this sweet guy twice last week. kind of a lucky draw on scruff. today we're going to hook up and he asks if i want to do a threesome. having had a fun one last week i say yes. the third guy shows up a half hour late. i can immediately tell i'm not on his wavelength. starts playing circuit music on his phone. i basically tell him to turn it off, i don't like music while playing. i do it with sweet guy while third kind of lays there in various configurations. he tries to drag me to a different position at some point, i say "would you like me to move somewhere?" anyway, it's not bad for a bit and i cum. then while 3 is doing this gross kissing all over my back i check my watch and i'm like "omg guys i've got to run." very awkward scrambling for my clothes with strained faux-polite conversation. i know i'm being the pooper but oh well, life is too short to endure the guy you don't like in a threeway, right, just as long as you aren't actively rude?

in other news, i told my seven-year bf that i wanted to be just friends on thursday. it went pretty well as far as those things go. it helps that we're pretty much there anyway. i'm still emotional though. it took me months to make up my mind because he's an amazing person but it was just not working. and now i don't want to date anyone for years and years. but i still fucking love sex. on the other hand my emotions are raw right now so i should probably hold off for a while. the hook-up apps! i signed up a week and a half ago and have been basically trying to gulp the sudden spray from a fire hydrant after not having had water forever, but now i'm like this water is kinda gross.

and prep, i mean i know it's reductive to think this way about it but goddamn does it feel good to not use a condom and feel like you aren't expressing a death wish.

basically trying to gulp the sudden spray from a fire hydrant after not having had water forever, but now i'm like this water is kinda gross.

wow otm

:)

on this front: we're having this guy over for dinner tomorrow who's come onto B pretty strongly before and i think the expectation is that hanky-panky will ensue afterwards. my first planned-in-advance non-sex-app-initiated threesome! this guy is tall and very handsome and a dancer so he has a dancer's build and is covered with tattoos and he kind of oozes sex out of every pore (he posts lots of v sexy photos of himself on insta) and part of me is kinda like oh lord i can NOT deal

lol, ooh la la

i had a pretty good month, ie only had sex twice but both were great. Once with the Pianist, who really likes me I think but i'm not in his world and he's very popular. (I think I am going to see him perform in a new opera but not tell him.) Also with the Bad Muslim, who flies off to medical school in the Caribbean this week and will be back in December.

oozing, fire hydrants, pianos, love this thread.

I have to say something about this couple I've had a few interactions with, an older man in his 50s with two children who divorced and came out, a younger man in his 40s who seems a little stifled but maybe I'm reading into that. They're very typical Wasatch Front mormons in how they seem to be leading their lives, especially the older one. He can't talk about many subjects comfortably for longer than five minutes except for what people in his large extended family are doing, have done, or will do, and he relates everything back to that (this is extremely common in Mormon culture). To me he seems like an anxious mess under a thin veneer of friendliness, and I think the expectation that Mormon men be domineering and controlling but so freaking nice about it is part of the picture and something that is obviously causing him a lot of discomfort. Sex with them is rushed. They can't settle for long enough to breathe or let something honest happen. The younger one doesn't seem very enthusiastic about it but is maybe resigned to that dynamic for the sake of a protective figure who will take care of him, and maybe opening up their relationship is an attempt to deal with a lack of connection sexually. The older one seems to distractedly pursue me as a toy for his boy with a fleeting enthusiastic desperation.

It's all a little sad and off-putting, which I finally realized last night after I visited their large empty-space home in the suburbs, the kind of geometric boxy construction finished with materials popular in the 90s that housed a hundred kids I knew and their families growing up. Everything about it was weird and disconnecting. I brought a library book and left it with the younger one (who is still ten years older than me!) in spite of my better judgment so I have to go back at some point.

In the meantime I'm definitely feeling a broken heart and will be for a while I'm sure. *sigh*

:( sorry to hear about it - maybe it's best if you get your book and then skedaddle? is anything about it worth sticking around for?

My ridiculous poly scenario has resulted in me splitting from my ltr, moving to another country, taking on a new job. The high point of my day these days is a half-hour swim and five-mile run. I been casually PG-dating a new guy in my new city. Hangs and cuddles and kisses but no sexy sex.

See, I was still feeling tied-to one of the polydudes of yore (and him to me). A couple days ago I decided to put any prospective intimate relations on pause with the polydude (he lives far away anyway and his primary relationship is just fine), so I could feel free to take things with this new guy to the next step. Tough conversations, some tears, full nine steps of grief in 48 hours, but it seemed like a good decision and seemed positive.

First night seeing the new guy after making that decision that decision (the new guy is as beautiful in the face as he is picky in the eating) and I'm cooking for him and I go to grind some pepper in the sauce and he says "ohhhh I kind of hate ground pepper" and I think about all the meals I've cooked for him thus far including twice cacio e pepe (once as eggs and once as linguine) and I internally sigh and see a dead end ahead of us and I uber home alone after dessert.

:( sorry to hear about it - maybe it's best if you get your book and then skedaddle? is anything about it worth sticking around for?

― donna rouge, Tuesday, August 30, 2016 7:31 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thanks. yes to skedaddling. i'm making poor decisions at the moment but only dimly aware of it.

sorry to hear about your picky eater fgti. gay dating lyfe is a poorly regulated and unsafe rollercoaster ride.

we should do a fall thread. i promise to be civil.

btw our dinner/sex date on sunday was about as close to ideal as we could've hoped. he was v. smart, funny, interesting conversationalist, very attentive to us both, forward/assertive w/o being domineering/aggro, and the sex itself was just super-fun and sweet, and we cuddled for nearly an hour afterwards, then he called a cab. he even brought us carnations! we all seemed pretty eager to do it again sometime

that's awesome.

We had a weird one a few weeks back.

We've been looking for other couples to play with and my husband started talking to this one married guy who expressed an enthusiastic interest in the four of us getting together. Every time it was convenient for us, though, his husband was always at work or whatever, and the guy finally asked us if it would be okay if he just came over and watched us (he and his husband have rules against participating without each other, which we both wholly respect and were not going to even attempt to violate). He came over and the three of us talked for an hour or so, after which I was finally like "so...are we gonna go to the bedroom or not?"

As planned, it was my husband and I having sex while he watched, but his version of "watching" was standing like an inch or two apart from us, and constantly moving around to catch all the action. I didn't mind, but it was definitely odd and I don't understand why we didn't just all wait for his husband to be available. My husband has messaged back and forth with him a couple times since, but no plans have even come close to being set so idk.

wow, u folx are busy

fgti, i'm glad you have kinda remade things, you seemed so despairing while all that stuff was going on. wishing you well.

Thanks guys

Today was weird, polydude called me up and screamed at me for an hour, accused me of being insane, listed all these things I'd done wrong, and how I was nothing but shit in his life and his partner's, who I both consider still to be my closest friends, and I'm the sort of person who is easily convinced that all wild accusations are actually true, as insane as that was, and so I had to deal with the grief of that all day

Positive note was that picky-eater asked to hang out more in the future, and talking to him after all the fire and brimstone tasted like a bowl of cool gazpacho (odourless and tasteless gazpacho but soothing nonetheless)

literally writing out the very short voicemail i'm going to leave my new just-friend today to stay on track.

So, is this pretty much the new gay thread? Fine if it is; I'm just wondering if this is the place to post PG-rated gay stuff as well.

i cried a lot monday. felt much better yesterday and today. lots of sleep. somewhat more put together. and i think i'm finally over whoring it up to distract myself because it's not helping me at all right now. but lord i'm going to read so fucking much and eat all the nut / trail mix varieties sold by trader joe's while doing so.

xp well there isn't a fall thread and honestly imo maybe someone should break tradition and start a rolling queer life thread that people can update whenever.

or, it's technically too early for a fall thread and the seasonal thing has been sidelined for a while

Rolling Queer Life 2016

earlier this month my boy went to europe for a few weeks and i had sex w/ someone else for the first (and then second) time in like 5 years. the first time was not un-fun but i think i was too much in my own head because i was very aware of the fact that i was sort of like re-learning to ride a bike or whatever. the second time otoh was very very fun, maybe too much fun, we had very mature conversations about the whole thing but then he said a few things that i thought were a little over the line in terms of where our feelings were supposed to stop. he's cool tho & i think he was prob testing the waters or something, we still chat and i might see him again at some point.

meanwhile my boy met a guy off tinder in europe and when they started having sex he stopped cuz he said his dick was gross and weird, which i'm not sure but is funny (problematic?) nonetheless

your boy's dick was gross or weird or his?

if his, maybe it's his idea of sexxytalk