OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

can't read that svevnonius paragraph in anything but his voice, which is very sardonic

how about "Girl Germs"?

lol @ this reaction to Svenonius btw

like have you never encountered his schtick before

Does this apply to all female-identified band names?

The Sisters of Mercy
Leather Nun
The Lazy Cowgirls
Little Women
Baroness
Queen

not music writing but this guy is dumber than the band he is supposedly taking down:

The A.V. Club: What do you hate about “Ants Marching”?

Julian McCullough: The first thing I hate about “Ants Marching” is that it starts with the horn section, and I hate horn sections in rock music. They drive me fucking crazy. So I already don’t like you when your riff is a horn.

http://www.avclub.com/article/comedian-julian-mccullough-hates-dmbs-condescendin-233484

Does this apply to all female-identified band names?

I would say that if you are forming a band now, and you are all men, a) where are your female musician friends, and b) you should definitely consider whether your band name might help perpetuate a historical imbalance where women don't even own the right to naming themselves as women (there are fairly few all-female bands who have taken 'boys' or 'men' names, because the men have already taken them too, I can think of a couple but they are outliers). Obviously a fair amount of the time band names are not "we are this" but "we are referring to this", but you should still be thinking about what you are implying.

Obviously a fair amount of the time band names are not "we are this" but "we are referring to this", but you should still be thinking about what you are implying.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_Black_Teenagers

oh god i was on an episode of the mark hoppus show with that comedian dude. so unfunny, fuck 'comedy' right now imo

I am glad for this conversation, I'd been feeling kind of churlish for being mildly bothered that a local band here (one of the better ones) is called Girl Power and is three dudes

http://www.popmatters.com/feature/all-talk-and-no-stick/

2. Cindy Blackmon

It is important to note that women seem to be unfairly underrepresented in the world of rock drumming. I don’t know why this is, but the reason certainly isn’t physiological. It’s established that women tend to have slightly more body fat and slightly less muscle mass, but so what? The rock drummer who probably had the fastest hands ever (Ginger Baker) had arms like twigs at the height of his powers, and the best drummer of all time (Buddy Rich) got to be a chubby bastard toward the end with no discernable effect on his playing.

So it’s maybe cool if Cindy Blackmon, Lenny Kravitz’s enthusiastic, sometimes-afroed drummer, gives girls the courage to pick up the sticks and give it a shot, but that’s about the only good thing I can think to say. The drummer for Lenny Kravitz should be a lot better.

Blackmon is a textbook case of a middling player holding a better artist back. True, she may have been hired for her looks and not her playing; the fault there lies with Lenny for hasty overpromotion. Still, one can’t shake the fact that Lenny himself is a better drummer than Cindy. You can hear it on songs like “Let Love Rule,” on which he plays with remarkable heart.

Cindy, on the other hand, is singularly uncreative and mechanical in her rock beats. In a review of her work with Kravitz, Jon Pareles of The New York Times wrote, “Cindy Blackmon on drums could switch from the splashy, sludgy style of the Jimi Hendrix Experience’s Mitch Mitchell to the casual economy of Ringo Starr.”
Just like Ringo, you say? Oh goody.

Also her name is spelled wrong throughout

The drummer for Lenny Kravitz should be a lot better.
lol is there some kind of Lenny Kravitz rule for how good his drummer should be?

5. Carter Beauford The Dave Matthews Band’s drummer is on both of my lists.

christ

The physically diminutive, poorly-spoken, heroin-addicted drummer for the Clash

what about if the band is called "Urgh, Girls"??

― Szechuan TV (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, March 23, 2016 9:29 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Urgh! A Music Girl"

The physically diminutive, poorly-spoken, heroin-addicted drummer for the Clash

Ha I thought was a game of "what if we described male musicians in the same "<physical attribute> <vague putdown> <tabloidy autobiographical detail>" way as this dude used for Cindy Blackman* and horrible local paper reviewers everywhere use for all female musicians, but no, this actually appears in the article

amazing

* not, alas, related to Larry Blackmon as the author's misspelling had got me hoping

Hahahahahahaha fuckin' Popmatters!!!

But really, the most damning indictment of his playing is the exceptional solo work David Byrne has produced since leaving the rhythmically handicapped Talking Heads.

Talking Heads are but a minor footnote to/warmup for the monumentally epoch-shattering work of Byrne's solo career.

And today I learned that a single percussionist is known as a "slew."

the rhythm section that created "Once in a Lifetime" called rhythmically handicapped. Still, I suppose Tina Weymouth is, y'know, a woman.

i like neil peart as much as the next guy, but that doesn't mean he should be in every band.

Yeah, he shits on Ringo for "struggling to fill the space." Because the only good drummers are those who FILL EVERY SPACE WITH DRUMS AT ALL TIMES.

Which pretty much explains this:

the best drummer of all time (Buddy Rich)

lol of course

thats cindy "blackmon" thing is pissing me the fuck off fuck music writing fuck men fuck everything jesus fucking christ!>@!@!?#!@>#!>

he brilliant South American grooves on Bryne’s solo efforts

Here's an example of some drumming by the writer of that piece:
https://youtu.be/orJtr738Zpc

Sorry, but when your playing is so, let's say, uncreative, you're not in a position to say shit about fuck.

a/b that shit with this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xsfg9SRgwEw

That guy's a shitty writer and his opinions about music, at least based on that one piece, are almost completely wrongheaded (not gonna get into the Ringo thing 'cause I fucking hate the Beatles, but the other bands he talks about, he's basically 180 degrees from reality). That said, I'm not a big fan of Blackman's myself. I saw her at a traditional jazz gig years ago, backing Pharoah Sanders, and she got completely lost when her solo came around, had to basically claw her way back into the tune - it was almost painful to watch/hear. And in recent years, I think she's tried way too hard to be Tony Williams, without coming anywhere close to his precision and timing.

Cindy gets a lifetime pass for "Are You Gonna Go My Way"

Not being Tony Williams is a bar that like 99% of drummers won't clear

why is whiney making us read poopmatters from 2007???

does a whiney still play drums? he was pretty rockin'!

Cindy gets a lifetime pass for "Are You Gonna Go My Way"

For miming in the video?

Whoa, it was Lenny all along :O

she's Rick James niece bitches

That moment when you wake up in a tunnel of yourself and then all things lost are either adult or millennial. But not one or another. Silence in spurts of manic fervor. Sort by oldest. Thus, hours of pornography will find a new depression for your skull’s cavity. (Tiny Mix Tapes review of Prurient's Cocaine Daughter)

tiny mix tapes is a reliable dealer

haha, that is kinda the best bad review though. i read the whole thing anyway. at the bottom of the page i read "Yes, they're Dockers." and i actually thought that was the last line of the review. it should have been.

half want to poll it

i will miss those sorts of reviews when they die out

NOW i know why whiney posted that old thing.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/100-greatest-drummers-of-all-time-20160331

Ugh, fucking Buddy Rich again.

does a whiney still play drums? he was pretty rockin'!

I can attest that whiney is good for the job when it's time to lay down fifteen minutes of sick ass improv

on that rolling stone list my picks would be: helmet guy, dave lombardo, drumbo, bill ward. can live without the rest.

i really wish you guys could see ILX's own Tarfumes behind the kit. he does the sickest shit.

Oh Tarfumes is Taylor Hawkins? Cool

I was really hoping to see Vic Firth's name on that list

there is great recent footage of tarfumes playing some sort of matmos salon type thing in baltimore. i watched it twice. don't want to embarrass him and post it though.