"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

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really love the bet-hedging house style Facebook has originated for its "trending" "news items", e.g.

Frank Kaminsky: Video Appears to Show Former Wisconsin Basketball Player Celebrate Team's Win
Kaminsky appears to jump up from his couch cheering, run into his kitchen and slide onto the floor after former Badgers teammate Bronson Koenig defeated Xavier on Sunday with a buzzer-beater.

bernard snowy, Monday, 21 March 2016 19:13 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Trending
Return of Saturn: April 11 Marks 16th Anniversary of No Doubt Album

how's life, Monday, 11 April 2016 19:59 (eight years ago) link

Trending
Clarence 'Gatemouth' Brown: April 18 Marks What Would Have Been Late Musician's 92nd Birthday

how's life, Monday, 18 April 2016 14:39 (eight years ago) link

Hermit Park, Queensland: Man Dies Due to Stab Wounds, Police Say

Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Tuesday, 19 April 2016 00:16 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/brothers-jailed-facebook-message-judge-11388028

is it wrong to feel kinda sorry for these two unfortunates? (especially the one who didn't actually write the "suck my cock" post but just commented on it?)

soref, Saturday, 28 May 2016 19:29 (seven years ago) link

three months pass...

Woke up, hung over. Piecing together what happened last night, a had a few too many, but I don't think it was that bad. Getting my phone, checking facebook. The first message is from myself, from today, saying 'whooooaaaah-ooooh!!! Lost my phone last night. Goodbye everyone, keep safe!!!' and then I posted California by Phantom Planet. And I'm like, wtf, how drunk was I??? Turns out there's a small text in the corner 'remember this day six years ago?' and it's from my going away party when I moved to San Diego.

Fuck you facebook, for confusing me and reminding me how much of a loser I used to be.

Frederik B, Sunday, 4 September 2016 10:36 (seven years ago) link

lol

meh 😐 (wins), Sunday, 4 September 2016 12:13 (seven years ago) link

three months pass...

Because people on my and my husband's facebook have at some point 'liked' Habitat and Amazon, we are seeing on our own feeds 'recommendations' of things the other has been browsing. A Habitat photo frame I was looking at as part of his Christmas present came up on his feed and bike locks on Amazon came up on mine.

This is some bullshit. Now we know it does this we'll know what each other has been looking at! Way to ruin relationships Christmas, facebook.
I have the FB purity blocker thing but this isn't even categorised as an ad.

kinder, Monday, 2 January 2017 12:19 (seven years ago) link

one year passes...

Man, trying to create a page and tack on some events used to be easy. Now it's like the hardest thing in the world to do. Thanks Facebook, nobbers.

brand new universal harvester (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 09:21 (six years ago) link

However, I think what she likes about Facebook is that it is relatively closed off to the outside world, whereas I don't generally care what yahoos have a gander at my drunken photos.

Lol irony reading this now.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 11:46 (six years ago) link

five months pass...

"The previously unreported actions by Myanmar’s military on Facebook are among the first examples of an authoritarian government using the social network against its own people."

All of this reads like a more extreme, but familiar, version of what's happening in the U.S.:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/15/technology/myanmar-facebook-genocide.html

... (Eazy), Monday, 15 October 2018 15:33 (five years ago) link

four weeks pass...

RIP

crĂŒt, Monday, 12 November 2018 18:12 (five years ago) link

it had a bad run

wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Monday, 12 November 2018 18:14 (five years ago) link

hold me

j., Monday, 12 November 2018 18:15 (five years ago) link

It really says something when you go to a site out of habit and then breathe a sigh of relief when it's down.

change display name (Jordan), Monday, 12 November 2018 18:16 (five years ago) link

Don’t think of it as goodbye, think of it as... ello

coetzee.cx (wins), Monday, 12 November 2018 18:16 (five years ago) link

fb'd u for that

unproven (darraghmac), Monday, 12 November 2018 18:17 (five years ago) link

Not down for me at all btw, you guys are all gone cause they’ve finally done the purge

coetzee.cx (wins), Monday, 12 November 2018 18:36 (five years ago) link

already back for me :/

wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Monday, 12 November 2018 18:36 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/05/technology/facebook-emails-privacy-data.html

In January 2013, one of Mr. Zuckerberg’s lieutenants emailed him with news about Twitter, one of Facebook’s biggest competitors. The company had introduced a video-sharing service called Vine, which allowed users to create and post six-second video clips.

When new users signed up for Vine, they were given the option of following their Facebook friends — a feature enabled through Facebook’s application program interface, or API. This feature was widely used, and had become a valuable tool for new apps to accelerate user growth. But in Vine’s case, Facebook played hardball.

“Unless anyone raises objections, we will shut down their friends API access today,” wrote the lieutenant, Justin Osofsky, now a Facebook vice president.

Mr. Zuckerberg, the chief executive, replied: “Yup, go for it.”

resident hack (Simon H.), Thursday, 6 December 2018 13:53 (five years ago) link

hmm u don't say

These emails reveal that in the formative years of Facebook’s growth, the company’s executives were ruthless and unsparing in their ambition to collect more data from users, extract concessions from developers and stamp out possible competitors.

We're in 2009—it's time to take risks, (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 6 December 2018 13:59 (five years ago) link

obviously nothing is shocking here but the gory details.....sure are gory and detailed

resident hack (Simon H.), Thursday, 6 December 2018 14:19 (five years ago) link

fun fact: no-one ever became a billionaire through scrupulously even-handed business practices

We're in 2009—it's time to take risks, (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 6 December 2018 14:28 (five years ago) link

it's almost like amassing ungodly sums of money might be.. evil?

Nhex, Thursday, 6 December 2018 16:39 (five years ago) link

hmm, makes u think

We're in 2009—it's time to take risks, (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 6 December 2018 16:39 (five years ago) link

> fun fact: no-one ever became a billionaire through scrupulously even-handed business practices

the minecraft guy?

koogs, Thursday, 6 December 2018 17:54 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

they need to cut it out with the "your facebook memories" shit

Trϔϔship, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 13:07 (five years ago) link

every time i click the box that says "show me less things like this" and i still get these updates multiple times a week. sometimes it's nice to reflect on the past but it has to be on my own initiative. the past is full of traps--photos of exes, reminders that life is fleeting, whatever. who do they think they are?

Trϔϔship, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 13:11 (five years ago) link

facebook memories is actually my favourite bit (because facebook is worse than it used to be so past = better)

koogs, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 13:12 (five years ago) link

it's a form of torture

Trϔϔship, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 13:13 (five years ago) link

If I were that terrified of being reminded of my life I wouldn’t record it for posterity tbh

gray say nah to me (wins), Wednesday, 30 January 2019 13:50 (five years ago) link

it's a form of torture

― Trϔϔship

this also applies to facebook as a whole, fyi

The Elvis of Nationalism and Amoral Patriotism (rushomancy), Wednesday, 30 January 2019 15:06 (five years ago) link

I was having a bad day a while back and Facebook was nice enough to show a post and pic of me and our dog the day before we put little Dottie to sleep : (

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 30 January 2019 15:10 (five years ago) link

That's horrible. I live in fear of the day my RIP post for my cat shows up in FB memories - it got tons of engagements at the time so I think they'll definitley go for it.

Daniel_Rf, Monday, 4 February 2019 10:45 (five years ago) link

So happy I'm off fb. It's been 2 weeks now? Haven't missed it at all.

nathom, Monday, 4 February 2019 12:58 (five years ago) link

i don't think it filters 'memories' in any way, based on the four bits of absolute tosh it just gave me, none of which has a single like.

"is imagining he's playing tennis"

oh look, 6 years ago i was in kensington waiting for the comedy to start. i know this because i checked in from the pub next door. fascinating.

koogs, Monday, 4 February 2019 13:17 (five years ago) link

congrats nathom!

i don't miss facebook but i do miss talking to most of my internet friends. they're good people but the opportunities for quality socialization on facebook just aren't there, i find it to be an addiction that ultimately does more harm than good. i need to find more friends i can hang out with in person, but the social anxiety makes it challenging...

The Elvis of Nationalism and Amoral Patriotism (rushomancy), Monday, 4 February 2019 13:48 (five years ago) link

ilx is the only good place on the internet

Calgary customer Elvis Cavalic (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 4 February 2019 13:52 (five years ago) link

(in b4 inevitable 'and even ilx sucks' posts)

Calgary customer Elvis Cavalic (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 4 February 2019 13:52 (five years ago) link

i don't think it filters 'memories' in any way, based on the four bits of absolute tosh it just gave me, none of which has a single like.

They don't show YouTube links in memories anymore, but I think that's the extent of the filtering (aside possibly from game/app posts).

a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 4 February 2019 15:47 (five years ago) link

Have deactivated FB and IG for a little more than a month now and it's been brilliant. Don't miss either.

Wish I could take myself off Twitter too but it's a job requirement, unfortunately.

Roz, Tuesday, 5 February 2019 04:41 (five years ago) link

I have been off fb for a couple of weeks. It's liberating. I do miss some people but the downsides being on it are outweighing the former. Back on ilx which feels grebt. Just can't access my stevienixed account. Nathom will do. Lol

nathom, Tuesday, 5 February 2019 12:58 (five years ago) link

Well, you get the FB ilxors here too, so there’s that!

suzy, Tuesday, 5 February 2019 13:12 (five years ago) link

Yes! Missed you guys

nathom, Tuesday, 5 February 2019 13:33 (five years ago) link

yay!

Mark G, Tuesday, 5 February 2019 13:33 (five years ago) link

"You have two memories..."

but before that, here's a crappy video of pictures you've posted floating around that we put together because it is Friends' Day

and here's a 3 word post from 9 years ago (that one's probably on me)

and here's a crappy video of pictures you've posted that we've cobbled together for no other reason than it used to be January and now it isn't. Your January Highlights.

and here's a memory from two years ago yesterday that you might have missed (but didn't)

meanwhile those group posts you made to that group with 26 people in it, we're only going to show that to two of them, despite the fact that they all subscribed specifically.

koogs, Tuesday, 12 February 2019 11:06 (five years ago) link

eight months pass...

anyone got tips for getting rid of the phantom notifications? my total keeps creeping upwards, now it's at seven, none of which are real.

Book Doula (sleeve), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 18:41 (four years ago) link

can you describe these in more detail?

sarahell, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 18:44 (four years ago) link

you know, the little red dot with the number in it. When I'm logged out, it (incorrectly) says seven, when I log in there are zero. Totally nitpicky but it drives me crazy.

Book Doula (sleeve), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 18:53 (four years ago) link


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