no boys allowed in the room!!!!

sidebar: right after I said "oh nbd its not painful" i went out for lunch and omg woooorst cramps, had to literally run for a bathroom bc cramp-diarrhea

fuck you ovaries hate u so much rn

cramps have passed now, yay

So far the only downside to having ovaries but no uterus is that whenever I feel "off" I wonder if it is PMS, but I never get the actual M to confirm my suspicions.

You ever wonder why you have the most digestive discomfort before/during your period? Apparently it's bc the hormonal messages that tell your uterus to let it all go also tangentially hit your digestive apparatus? Well now that a million things upset my digestion, sometimes the messages that tell my INTESTINES to clear the floor also hit my uterus. So I can spot when I'm feeling sick, which is just the worst of both worlds.

I hear my body's messages so much more clearly now than back when I could eat foods like a normal person.

wow i didnt know that

weird!

this is gonna sound so corny but i was in an improv scene where i got to play some fallopian tubes
it was awesome

:D

hmm thanks io, I had noticed the connection in the most obvious direction but not known why, and I think I have also noticed it going the other way but just gone "huh I have crazy hormones which hate me" (it often feels that way)

it is my guts that are giving me the mysterious slow, draining, stuff-is-leaching-out-of-me feeling that I also get during my period btw </tmi>

I see a gut dr later today but the symptoms which originally got me referred have stopped so I am just going to be like "hi I'm fine, well sometimes stuff hurts in a variety of random locations but I don't recall exactly where so we're not really going to solve any mysteries there"

has carl agatha not been around very much recently?

This is making me wonder which way my symptoms are going! Because I was always known for having a stomach of IRON. But over the past 5 years, since hitting 40 my period has been getting harsher and more irregular (more of them, unfortunately, not less). And now my gut is way more cranky than it ever was (I've been trying to work out what food or drink causes the, erm, operating system core-dump and reset) and now I'm wondering, OMG what if it's not food at all, but hormones going to the wrong place?

xp - io, the show was last friday. i went with some old standards and i was comfortable/looked alright. i've been shopping at rainbow-like stores since i was in high school -- you can find some surprisingly long-lasting garments as long as you don't wear them that much. i still wear two dresses i got at a mall store (like Deb or something) back in the early 90s. i wore one of them last week! cute/mildly trashy clothes that don't break the bank = my kind of store even though the clothes are inevitably made by sad hungry children.

in other news, i hadn't been paying much attention to my cycle and i am pleased/shocked to report that i played the show at the peak of pms and didn't wig out at all. i mean i could feel energy surging through my nervous system but it didn't feel bad. who knows, maybe it gave me added yoni power?

carl is not on ilx much these days, no :(

Oh man that thread. :( I keep trying to tell myself not to click in it any more because it is so triggery but it's like a traffic accident.

It's so frustrating, but I know that I don't have the equanimity of mind to participate, and me saying anything would make it worse. But to see the imperviousness to logic in some of these minds. I don't understand how it can be so counterintuitive. Like, the proportion of women in the general population who have experienced sexual assault is usually quoted somewhere between 1 in 4 to 1 in 9. The proportion of women with mental health issues or substance abuse issues who have experienced sexual assault, that rises to something more like 1 in 2. Like, not drawing any conclusions about correlation or causation or anything, but bringing in those kinds of issues means that simple maths, a woman is MORE likely to have experienced sexual assault - yet it's always dragged in to discredit survivors "she's crazy, she's an addict, she's unreliable" - how are you using this to supposedly discredit someone when the numbers game indicates it is statistically at least TWICE as likely?

I mean, yeah, this is just jumping up and down on my own personal issues but yeeeeeeesh. I feel gross and horrible even saying anything about it here, even knowing most of us are on the same page.

Ugh I'm going to go away and lookit something nice until that icky feeling goes away. I'm going to see 1/4 of Kraftwerk (unfortunately not the hott 1/4) tonight so that should be enjoyable at least.

operating system core-dump and reset

hahaha! I think it's just something that happens with age. Now in my 40s, my system is a lot more sensitive to rich dairy than it was when i was younger: indian food with a lot of ghee, baked goods with a lot of butter, one of my favorite brands of ice cream, some of the tastiest macaroni and cheese

alas

I mean I could probably do with some more incentive to eat better, but... not that kind thanks

also, miss you carl, hope all is well

which 1/4 of Kraftwerk is touring? (or perhaps you are just going on a date! have fun either way)

Hahaha OMG yes, I am definitely going on a date with Wolfgang Flür, that is totally what I'm doing tonight, that's my story and I am sticking to it!

(I am over the age of 19 so I think I am a little old for him, but still.)

Rusty Egan has been putting on a selection of Düsseldorf's finest in a weird venue underneath Chelsea Football Ground? It's very odd but the other week, he had Wolfgang's former bandmate Herr Rother so I am not going to complain.

oh I didn't know it was a series, I don't do London but I was tempted by M. Rother

I bought a book about krautrock in German, I do not dare look at it yet tho as it will be well beyond my meagre German skills, but I just like to own it and delude myself that one day I shall wade my way through it

oh, no more krautrock in the listings, but ESG in May

Oh, I wish you'd come! I was all alone at that gig and I could have done with some company for high-quality krautperving! I would have protected you from London's perniciousness.

Which book is it, is it that Electri_City book? I liked the look of it but my German ist sehr schlecht.

oh, I didn't know about that one! I'll add that to my mental wishlist.

I got "Krautrock" by Henning Dedekind (name is familiar but I haven't yet worked out why), though in the "people also bought..." sidebar there was another one called "Der Klang der Revolt", which looked like a more thorough examination of the cultural background of the time but also much more srs and so even more of a stretch for my German

(when I was last in Germany I bought a cheap book in German, and the shop assistant asked if I'd like a bag and I didn't understand, and I could see her thinking "if you can't answer that, how are you going to read this book?")

Haha this is what google translate is for! I'm not much beyond looking at the pictures. It's astonishing how much German I have picked up from listening to too much Krautrock, but really it's at the "understand opening instructions on Lidl products" stage not the "read an academic musical tome."

I should read more about the cultural background stuff (fascinated by Beuys and the Creamcheese Club and how they affected the music scene in Düsseldorf) but it's maybe more fun to read Wolfgang gossiping some more.

would you be interested in a book about Moebius?

APSC, i've been learning spanish using this app called duolingo (also has a great website if you don't want to use the app). i'm not a linguistics expert so i don't know how legit the teaching style is, but i'm finding it super fun and easy, very straight forward, almost like playing a game? anyway, i highly recommend it!

re periods: i've the mirena IUD for almost 18 months now i think, and my period has lightened, the terrible back pain has ceased, but i still get a very dull full-body feeling and wretched food cravings.

i just indulge myself the food cravings -- it's one day a month, occasionally two. It's usually taco bell or sushi and gelato involving salted caramel chips

^^^ I do the same. For me it isn't so much particular cravings as the compulsion to be eating something--anything--at all times for a day or two. I just go with it because hey why not.

Glad to see I'm not the only one with menstrual cycle related digestive issues. At this point, one of signs that I'm going to get my period soon is lots of farting. Sigh.

Day 2 of my period (when I had one; I still have a cycle so now I just have to guess) I totally have the trots, which my gyn said was a progesterone effect. Her only suggestion was more fiber during that time to, er, bulk things up.

I like duolingo! I was using to brush up on my French. I have to get back to it.

Someone in the Jezebel comments section mentioned eating carrots, so I'm going to try that.

i don't get specific cravings either, just a general craving to stuff my face. mine lasts about a week though - starts a couple days before my period. i've been trying not to indulge for that whole time, but fuuuuck i get so sad if i can't eat piles of food! i'm heading towards type 2 diabetes if i don't cut this shit out!

I've not had one in about 2 years. Baby + mini pill now

My chin has suddenly become spotty and I'm blaming Mirena, even though it didn't start happening till a couple of months after I got it.

I was having issues with closed comedones but using a BHA toner in the morning and an AHA cream at night has gotten rid of most of them.

belatedly: yes I would read and probably buy a book about Moebius, in English or German! is there such a thing? might there be such a thing?

I keep starting Duolingo and keeping up with all the things for about 3 days and then forgetting it exists for 6 months again. I have a few reservations (the robot voices make me think "is this actual good natural pronunciation I'm learning here?") but it's p. cool whenever I do remember it exists

Wait, I can learn German FROM ROBOTS?!?! Sign me up! (Always wondered how speech synthesis worked with accents - but so much of the pioneering research on speech synthesis was done by Germans I imagine they've got to be quite good by now.)

Turns out that Electri_City book is being published in English in August. That was what the show last night was promoting; and then a half hour presentation from the Düsseldorf tourist board about the music and arts scenes in Düsseldorf and how we should all visit. I'm not even joking.

Yeah, who would be doing the Moebius book? That sounds like a Geeta project? Hell, I would pay money to read a good full-length book on the Düsseldorf/Forst crew by Geeta, including what Roedelius fed his cats for breakfast. Heck, if she could get a comprehensive interview with Herr Schneider, I'd even throw a couple of thousand pounds towards her Kickstarter or whatever. (I bet Claudia S-E has some GREAT stories but no one ever interviews her!)

Speaking of the women of Germany, I'd like to know more about Dorothea Raukes, who released an amazing album as Deutsche Wertarbeit. Have never actually heard the other band she was in (Streetmark), dunno if they're also worthwhile?

That album is so good!! I did not know it was made by a woman! Hi 5 musical women of Germany.

Yeah, who would be doing the Moebius book? That sounds like a Geeta project?

not long before he died, he told her (she wasn't sure if he was joking) that she should write a book about him. It's something she is considering.

OK I've been thinking about this all morning, and here is the thing: I do not want to read another Krautrock book that is all about dudes. Yes, I know, the musicians in that scene, it was such a sausage party. But the musicians in that scene were not the only people IN that scene. Obviously I have a dog in this fight because I've been researching and trying to write *shudders* fan fiction about that music scene, and it is next to impossible to find information about the women that were involved, behind these tantalising clues that they even exist! I want to know Claudia's side of the story on Roedelius. I want to know about her and Florian's other sister, Tina, who I discovered only recently, did a lot of design for La Düsseldorf, including their logo. I want to know about Claudia and Tina's school friend Anita who dated Klaus Dinger, is the woman's voice all over the first NEU! albums. I want to know about Ann Weiss, who turned Michael Rother on to the Velvet Underground and changed his guitar style forever - oh, and also took most of the photos of NEU! and Harmonia. And speaking of photographers, I want to know about Barbara Niemöller who took most of the photos on early Kraftwerk albums (which often get misattributed to Emil Schult - always wondered how Emil was supposed to have taken the back cover photo of Autobahn when he is in the photo, albeit with Wolfgang's head pasted over the top - answer is, he didn't; Niemöller did.) In Geeta's interview with Rebecca Allen, she jokes that she was the first woman in Klingklang because Florian told her they didn't even let their girlfriends in the place. In which case, how the hell did Niemöller take album cover photos of a studio she wasn't allowed inside? There were all these women in that scene that I know nothing of but their names and vague credits about being photographer or designer, and no more, because in the official story, they're just down as "girlfriend" or "muse".

But hey, that's just my hobby horse about how women get written out of scenes because their roles aren't considered important. And that's the Krautrock book *I* would really like to read, but no one ever writes.

I am absolutely with you, would love to see something that reveals the female input into the scene. Also could include artists/musicians who were working contemporaneously but didn't get pigeonholed into "Krautrock", eg the awesome and fascinating collab between Inga Rumpf and Dagmar Krause, or what brought Dolly Holmes to Germany and thus to Emtidi's folk-kraut hybrid....

seriously.
what about djong yun? last i heard she was alive and living in pyongyang.
and renate knaup was super cool but you're right that there were surely a lot more women around. i would like to hear more about them too.
also this gives me fuel to continue mentally assembling my fantasy supergroup CANNES (haha)

Argh, this is going to turn into one of those things I get so fired up about I start thinking "I could do it", and then a week later all the reasons why I can't will hit me. Like, hi, biography of Jun Togawa except oh yeah I can't speak or read a word of Japanese. ;_;

i messaged LL with more details.

i'm majorly creeped out by his posts, and i honestly think ppl should just not engage him at all, if not outright ban him. it's not like he actually takes in anything anyone else posts, anyway.

it's funny, i instantly knew who you were referring to, bc it's been bothering me so much as well.

Justine could you the same me, please.

fb messaged you, sunny

Ja, so! Ich lerne Deutsch! I've been doing Duolingo for a week and I swear I'm getting worse. It bothers me that they do no theory at all, they just bark things at you and expect you to pick it up without knowing what the patterns are!!! (I had to go and look it up on a theory-based website what the deal is with the accusative! Because they did not explain it at all.)

But haha I just had to press the turtle for the first time and mein gott, I have NEVER heard a German robot sound so disdainful! "Iiiiiihhhr sssseeeeiiiiit Määääänner!" OK OK I'm just a learner there's no reason to get so snooty with me! Haha!

I've been using it for a while for French, and just recently starting using it for Spanish, too. I agree totally, coming at it from a background of learning language from the skeleton out, so to speak. It feels wrong. But! It does encourage me to practice a little daily, which seems key, and after using it for a while I did start to notice increased facility with the language in a unconscious way (like the right verb form just coming to mind, though I didn't really consciously understand the concept of forming it, and the right vocab springing to mind). I'm not sure how helpful or effective it is in the long term.

There's a lot to be said for just sheer repetition! Like honestly the only reason I'm fluent with the (intensely irregular) verb to be is because I have heard Ralf Hütter sing "Ich bin der Muzikant" and "Sie ist ein Model" and "Wir sind die Roboter" a million billion times. I do like over 100 points of practice a day, and I do have to say that it is getting into my head through blunt force repetition, like Interpol. But once we seriously get into tenses and cases, I know I am going to need to back that up with theory.

I JUST WANT THE THEORY, MANN. I LOVE LINGUISTIC THEORY!!!

You guys this is my main topic of academic and personal study! I'd love to talk about it but typing isn't going to work. Repetition is immeasurably valuable when it comes to learning a skill, and language learning is a skill. Imo.

I think that's exactly why I like duolingo- you just learn sort of intuitively, almost like a child or like immersion. I find myself figuring stuff out on my own, and I think that helps me remember a lot better