a romcom version of the Human Centipede - it's the ULTIMATE love triangle.
looooooool
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 3 March 2016 17:53 (eight years ago) link
imaginary films are better than most real films imo
especially because they all feature kirk douglas
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 3 March 2016 17:54 (eight years ago) link
I posted way upthread about a sort of rom-com/lifetime tv movie concept H and I came up with about a young gay deaf mute living in minneapolis, his middle-aged therapist, and her angry teenaged daughter. We had scenes worked out, little bits of dialogue, etc. It was sort of an exercise in cracking each up by trying to be as subtly bathetic as possible.
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 3 March 2016 19:38 (eight years ago) link
Velodrone - an autonomous quadcopter drone that follows you around when you're riding your bicycle.
― bored at work (snoball), Thursday, 3 March 2016 20:50 (eight years ago) link
breakfast pastries you heat by carrying them around in your armpits
― leet gentlemen's club (contenderizer), Thursday, 3 March 2016 21:07 (eight years ago) link
especially because they all feature kirk douglas― Karl Malone, Thursday, March 3, 2016 9:54 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Karl Malone, Thursday, March 3, 2016 9:54 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
upon reading this, I convinced myself that I've been saying 'Kurt Douglas' my whole life, and I was struck with horror and embarrassment. but that can't be true.
― Toof Seteltha (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 4 March 2016 04:16 (eight years ago) link
Rebranding a small section of Ridgewood Queens as "ADOBO" (Area Down Over By Onderdonk)
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 8 March 2016 22:20 (eight years ago) link
hahaha
― van damme death warrant (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 9 March 2016 05:15 (eight years ago) link
Presidential elections conducted by best 4 out of 7 handslaps contests
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 March 2016 05:27 (eight years ago) link
mushtard
a fusion of mushrooms and mustard because I like both with a steak
(I considered and rejected mustrooms)
― onimo, Wednesday, 9 March 2016 14:56 (eight years ago) link
The Name of this Band is Talking Heads vs. Stop Making Sense poll
― Toof Seteltha (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 10 March 2016 16:54 (eight years ago) link
Probably already done but... A band called Golf Sale
― koogs, Saturday, 12 March 2016 18:30 (eight years ago) link
Jay-Z With Strings
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 14 March 2016 20:29 (eight years ago) link
a group that is nearly identical to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, except it's decoupled from the United Nations and the finalization of their work requires consent from only 95% of member countries instead of 100%
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 13:18 (eight years ago) link
also an golden oldie but since i haven't memorialized it here,
reverse birthdays - on your birthday you give other people gifts. that way you never have to worry about remembering anyone else's birthday, and also throughout the year you receive reverse birthday gifts from your friends rather than consolidating the whole thing into one day, and also it transforms the day into a celebration of your friends and family rather than a celebration of a single person
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 13:21 (eight years ago) link
i have heard that discussed before. possibly as a made-up custom in a work of fiction, like something they do in gunk's homeland in the comic strip 'curtis.' or is it part of a very merry unbirthday? or something hobbits do? anyway it seems like a great idea imho. a society organized more around communal ties and giving vs. getting would have totally come up with that centuries ago.
― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 23 March 2016 14:50 (eight years ago) link
A full range of goatse-inspired products, from hat racks (replacing the hooks with tiny hands that cling to the brim and showcase the inside of your hat) to coffee mugs to frozen pizzas. Guaranteed to make circles traumatic!
― Eckrich® Pickled Pig Doin's (Old Lunch), Thursday, 24 March 2016 18:57 (eight years ago) link
oh, sorry to copycat, but what about goatse branded dipping sauce for mozzarella sticks?
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 24 March 2016 19:05 (eight years ago) link
and you open the container by digging your fingernails into the top of the lid in the center and ripping it apart to reveal the sauce
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 24 March 2016 19:06 (eight years ago) link
You're hired.
― Eckrich® Pickled Pig Doin's (Old Lunch), Thursday, 24 March 2016 22:22 (eight years ago) link
"the sauce"
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 2 April 2016 09:23 (eight years ago) link
If I finally get around to playing live again, include a cover of Prince's 'Gett Off' in my setlist. So when the audience start shouting "get off (the stage)", instead of getting off the stage I can launch into my cover of 'Gett Off'.
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 2 April 2016 09:25 (eight years ago) link
An Iggy Azalea single called Baby Got Outback
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Sunday, 3 April 2016 02:10 (eight years ago) link
rolled goats
― μpright mammal (mh), Sunday, 3 April 2016 02:56 (eight years ago) link
a computer program that purportedly deletes all of your unfinished writings from your computer in the event of your death (as evidenced by your failure to login for more than 30 days) — but in actuality it bundles everything into a RAR and forwards it to 20 different publishing houses under the subject line 'The Great Unheralded Lost Writings of [your name]'. I would call it maxbrod.exe.
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Monday, 4 April 2016 04:20 (eight years ago) link
A cleaners called "Watch Out, Iron New York"
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Thursday, 7 April 2016 20:48 (eight years ago) link
not mine but:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AKZk2ldPWs
― ulysses, Friday, 8 April 2016 20:01 (eight years ago) link
An album performed in the style of Big Black, called 'Songs About Thatcher', where all the tracks are cover versions of 80s pop songs criticising Margaret Thatcher, with the opening track being a cover of Hue & Cry's 'Labour Of Love'.
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 12:57 (eight years ago) link
Pants that change color when you piss yourself. I mean that change to a color other than the color of a piss stain.
― My Whole Existence Is Flan (Old Lunch), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:07 (eight years ago) link
How about pants that make the "WHOOOORP!!! WHOOOORP!!! WHOOOORP!!!" siren sound from the 'Rogue One' trailer whenever you piss yourself?
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:14 (eight years ago) link
I had to do a double take there, because in England pants = underpants. Actually that reminds me of an incident at a place where I used to work. I was talking with two of my then colleagues and there was a three/four second pause in the conversation, which was broken by the non-English* colleague saying "I need to buy some more pants", which resulted in the English colleague and myself going o______________O
(*ie from a country where pants = trousers)
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:17 (eight years ago) link
Please feel free to use that last line as a display name, anyone.
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:18 (eight years ago) link
These can be color-changing pants of the US or the UK variety. Or both.
― My Whole Existence Is Flan (Old Lunch), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:28 (eight years ago) link
A coffeemaker with a Rob Schneider voicechip that just says "makin' coffee!" over and over while it's brewing.
― My Whole Existence Is Flan (Old Lunch), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:29 (eight years ago) link
Underpants that make the siren sound and trousers that change colour - both bases covered.
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:29 (eight years ago) link
...in piss
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:36 (eight years ago) link
lol snoball did you both then instinctively look at his crotch
― kinder, Saturday, 9 April 2016 18:28 (eight years ago) link
No, we looked sideways at each other, then non-English colleague went "no no no I meant trousers".
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 19:08 (eight years ago) link
cover of I'm Waiting For The Man except instead of going to a bad neighbourhood to buy heroin it's about downloading an mp3 from a website that looks like it might infect your computer with malware
― reader, if you love him so much why don't you marry him? (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 14 April 2016 05:24 (eight years ago) link
I'm writing a novella tentatively called "Rape God: A Comic Fantasy"
― larry appleton, Sunday, 17 April 2016 03:11 (eight years ago) link
conservative luxury menswear brand called Carl Marks
I actually think this might be a brilliant idea.
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Monday, 18 April 2016 17:25 (eight years ago) link
oh, guess you can't make this shit up
http://carlmarks.com/
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Monday, 18 April 2016 17:26 (eight years ago) link
a memorial service that erects a 'footstone' on the point on the earth's surface diametrically opposite to your gravesite
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:11 (eight years ago) link
A country song called "The Privilege Check is in the Mail"
― JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:16 (eight years ago) link
lol
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:21 (eight years ago) link
OMG @ the actual thing that Carl Marks is.
― Your Ass Is Grass And I Will Mow It With My Face (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:33 (eight years ago) link
It's like that time when entrepreneurs Will Adle and Geoffrey Fiddler used the combination of their last names as the name of their Jewish rights organization.
― Your Ass Is Grass And I Will Mow It With My Face (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:39 (eight years ago) link
a turntable with a large bowl above a non-adjustable tracking force weight. parents can fill this bowl with vegetables to be sure their hipster child cannot listen to records until he has eaten his vegetables.
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:04 (eight years ago) link
or you can fill it with cat food and have Bob Seger alarm you that your cat is low on food
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:05 (eight years ago) link