http://i.imgur.com/WgVCFpV.png
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 14 February 2016 00:37 (eight years ago) link
ONE OF US
― Andy K, Sunday, 14 February 2016 00:53 (eight years ago) link
i followed him based on this thread. i can't stop laughing but mainly everyone i know who likes sport finds this hilarious cos he was so famous that he was in a simpsons episode.
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 14 February 2016 01:00 (eight years ago) link
@JoseCanseco Oct 1Democracies are such a fragile thing and seem to age and deteriorate never being as good as they once were . Never reversing march to death
― The Hon. J. Piedmont Mumblethunder (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 October 2016 14:44 (seven years ago) link
deep!
― imho tep (sanskrit), Monday, 3 October 2016 17:16 (seven years ago) link
In 2018 blockchain will become mainstream knowledge understood by moron level and above— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 22, 2017
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 02:14 (six years ago) link
lol
― crüt, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 02:21 (six years ago) link
when you were having premarital sex, jose cans
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 02:43 (six years ago) link
Canseco Rule- once tweeted or discussed in media by Jose Canseco then the concept has become 'mainstream knowledge'.
― earlnash, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 10:07 (six years ago) link
I cannot believe David Ortiz aka Big Papi did not invite me to play in his golf tournament this weekend I'm one of the longest drivers in the world at 50 and over and one of the best golfers I could have helped him out with his charity does MLB still hold grudges against me— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 29, 2017
how will David Ortiz aka Big Papi respond
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 22:15 (six years ago) link
solid take
What is going on with all these politicians molesting women I've been molested by several women and never complained— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 12, 2017
― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 13:58 (six years ago) link
Hey little buddy @realDonaldTrump I am interested in United Nations leadership .dm me for ideas and confidential 90 day plan #readynow— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) October 9, 2018
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 18:16 (five years ago) link
Aliens have been trying to teach us how to time travel but first we have to change our body composition which we are not willing to do we have tried with animals and it has failed— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 30, 2019
― omar little, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 17:43 (five years ago) link
Cloning is illegal that's why we cannot evolve into our next stage— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
― omar little, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:29 (five years ago) link
Once cloning is legal we will be able to purchase either bodies of ourselves in our Prime and once our shells get to old detach the brain and then apply to a new shell ot body..— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
In 50 years from now only the rich will be able to purchase a new body— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
New bodies will come with optional Android or robotic moving parts— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
― omar little, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:30 (five years ago) link
I have figured out a way to live an extra 30 years— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
One of many ways to live an extra 30 years is that you have to sleep in almost freezing temperatures— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
Another way to live 30 years longer if you must have sex at least 3 times a week— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
people who have figured out have to live an extra 30 years
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:38 (five years ago) link
he has the exact same energy as @Love_That_Goku
i have an encyclopedic knowledge of Dragonball canon and all you ask me is "does Krillin like anal" "does android 18 have a pussy" etc— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
all signs point to Android 18 having a functional reproductive system but once again this is not my business— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
NO Piccolo does not smoke weed— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
the way some of you people speak to me is disgusting. "hey Christian does piccolo smoke weed" "does Roshi fuck the turtle". just unreal— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
― frogbs, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:40 (five years ago) link
everybody knows there are many ways to live 30 years longer, but here's a tricky constraint: I must have sex at least 3 times a week.
― say it with sausages (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:53 (five years ago) link
Watching World of Dance watching J.Lo text Alex Rodriguez little does she know that he is cheating on her with my ex-wife Jessica poor girl she has no idea who he really is— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of shit stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
― frogbs, Monday, 11 March 2019 18:56 (five years ago) link
https://t.co/CXErAtc0aw...... you lied to defend that piece of shit Jessica I told you to not open up that can of worms time to polygraph and tell the truth now— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 13, 2019
― omar little, Wednesday, 13 March 2019 18:43 (five years ago) link
i'm not sure what's happening, but only 26 to go
30 minutes...— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 6, 2021
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 15:34 (two years ago) link
The September collection is finally live 🎉only 50 of each item ⚡️https://t.co/K6yOzJ3VTP pic.twitter.com/FbPaDq95T4— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 6, 2021
loooool
who would have guessed it was a countdown to new merch
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:03 (two years ago) link
wait!!!
that wasn’t the big news.. give me 5 minutes— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 6, 2021
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:04 (two years ago) link
coffee
― brimstead, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:18 (two years ago) link
i knew jose canseco wouldn't let me down
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:19 (two years ago) link
merry Christmas to everyone And a happy New Year Well almost everyone— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 25, 2022
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 25 December 2022 16:09 (one year ago) link