Worst TV adverts of the moment

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The renaissance of Vauxhall's Zafira ad with the two "little old men" kids is starting to really hurt my brane. It's bad enough that it's on at all times of the day and night, but the follow-up where they're in the showroom and the shorter kids turns to his pal/brother and says "ahh, look at 'er eyes light up!" gives me the willies. Immensely irritating in itself but he then gives him a sideways glance that makes his pudgy face more terrifying than The Omen.

Konal OTM regarding Saunders too: "Get your own pop-ups!".

― Bill A (Bill A), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 10:32 (seventeen years ago) link

i like that zafira ad!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 11:59 (seventeen years ago) link

That Saunders ad is one of the reasons I gave up watching television. The plotline on EastEnders where Dawn poses as Ian's wife is the other one.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

The one where the old man has his wife's tiny little false teeth in. Very disturbing.

― Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:37 (seventeen years ago) link

The new Gilette Fusion advert falls into the 'so outrageously bad it's pretty good, but cynically and knowingly so, so in fact it's just plain awful' category. OTT is all well and good, but something as flagrantly knowing as this has no place on our screens.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

The Tango one with people's heads cut out of paper and stuck onto smaller bodies and all wacky shit goes on. It freaks me out and doesn't make me want to drink Tango.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Lynx are up to their usual shenanigans.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:33 (seventeen years ago) link

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.
-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:17 AM. (later) (link)

"HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!! yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. "

(ah)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:34 (seventeen years ago) link

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music

what, and BREAK THE LAW?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 24 August 2006 20:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.

― Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle vague), Thursday, 24 August 2006 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

the one where that bitch with the kid is having a slow day and she decides to buy a Hummer because it makes her feel tough, or at least that's what i get from it.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 24 August 2006 22:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.
-- Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle_vagu...), August 24th, 2006.

what the fuck?

that's the fall?

i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 07:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Not strictly an advert, but MTV keep running a trail where they describe Kasabian as "legendary".

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:41 (seventeen years ago) link

What about that one for a wart treatment (ha ha, a wart treatment, can you believe it?) called, and I may be wrong here but I'm sure this is correct, WARTNERS! The one where this drippy little twerp, who deserves to have his arse kicked every day of his life, is bemoaning the miserable life he had to lead before HIS MUM discovered this Wartners muck and applied it to liberally to his sorry ass (and other areas) - what 14 year old goes about beaming with joy about his mummy treating his friggin' warts?!??!

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:50 (seventeen years ago) link

that's the fall?
i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Today 8:37 AM. (later) (link)

Track is Touch Sensitive. The one about going behind a tree for a pee, etc.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (seventeen years ago) link

what channels do you watch!!!???

xpost

― animal bitrate (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (seventeen years ago) link

... maybe it was only on during the school holidays, the warty kids being indoors when the normal kids were all outside playin' and shit

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I remember during the Myra Hindley film, the adverts were very badly made as most high-profile companies knew better than to have their products endorsed during the most (supposedly) controversial film shown on TV.... there was one for "HISCOX INSURANCE" (hehe) which was basically a cue card reading "HISCOX INSURANCE" with a monotone voiceover..... truly, truly bizarre but muchly needed comic relief at the time!!!!

― JTS (JTS), Friday, 25 August 2006 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

"This is us, take away pizza and life on the go."

THEN WHY DO YOU NEED A FUCKING HUGE EXPENSIVE KITCHEN?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I WANT "LEASE FOR NAUGHT" DEAD

― PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:17 (seventeen years ago) link

any advert that says "you do the... we'll do the...". also that stupid "Bigsmall, a new word used to describe something that is big but also small" I mean GNUH GNUGH NGUH! As if the Spafe ad wasn't atroicious, you cuntos have to come along and rip it off and make it EVEN MORE FEEBLE!!

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 09:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Magazine advert with Jeffrey Archer in it. GET OFF MY TELLY!

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

"We work hard, so you don't have to"

"We work, so you have to pay us."

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link

xxpost: OMG YES, DOG LATIN OTM, the Toyota Yaris advert is quite possibly the worst, most insulting, and most risible piece of CROLLOCKS (yeah, work that one out guys) I've ever seen. OMG I feel sick thinking about it now. ARGH!

― Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link

'bigsmall' seconded. don't like clement freud anyway.

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:57 (seventeen years ago) link

also that Mr. Opportunity cartoon dude's "outtakes" is moranic

― PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

worst moment in history of television adverts:

"I'm a mother...but is there anyone else out there who sometimes feels a little...overwhelmed?"

*half of stadium (which contains everyone in the WORLD, lol) stands up*

― Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Mr. Oppurtunity is SOOO budget. Classic case of big ad firm letting some senior exec who hasn't done anything creative since the late 60s come up with the creative.

No, worst ads ever are the VW ads where people are just driving along and suddenly get in a car accident. That kind of shit would make a movie R rated.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate it when Mr. Opportunity bangs on the glass of my television set. The fucking nerve he has to do that.

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

there's a triumvirate of industrial strength glue adverts that always seem to be aired together and all say exactly the same thing: 'superglue is now stronger. nomorenails is now stronger. (some tile adhesive) is now stronger (and anti-fungal)'. seems pointless.

(last nights was followed by a CILLIT BANG ADVERT, just to add insult to boredom)

(re the yaris advert, what took you? 8)

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 07:45 (seventeen years ago) link

"If Jesus came to earth today they'd crucify him straight away upon a cross of MDF and they'd use No Need For Nails."

— HMHB, Upon Westminster Bridge

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:17 (seventeen years ago) link

That cunt from the Confused.com advert has been replaced by a less annoying woman. Don't think we've forgotten what you've done though, Confused.com. I am still going to track you down and gut every last motherfucking one of you with a rusty fruit knife.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:43 (seventeen years ago) link

oh god, the Skechers reality tv ad breaks my brain. OH NO, YOUR SKECHERS.

If you haven't seen it, it's here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io1rkAmupwY

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:51 (seventeen years ago) link

i can't tell if that ad is taking the piss or what

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:52 (seventeen years ago) link

I got my home insurance through confused.com :(

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Anything involving:

1. Evangelical churches
2. Perfume

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:15 (seventeen years ago) link

The ones clearly made to be shown across Europe, and then dubbed with language for each region. But we can tell it's made in Germany, cos everyone looks German!

Worse yet when they try and have them dubOverThe actress.

Kinder are the worst of all for this. Milk bars indeed.

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:44 (seventeen years ago) link

There used to be an advert with a v. famous actress - prolly Andie Macdowell - with her voice dubbed. WE KNOW WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE, NOBS.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:47 (seventeen years ago) link

And that horrible soya fruit drink advert. I got given a test carton of it, and it's nasty, but the advert nonsense of the highest order. I mean, what's even the point of that product? Is it for people who are lactose-intolerant AND allergic to Vitamin C? It's certainly not gonna get vaguely Mediterranean policemen doing an Irish jig.

I remember that Andy McNab advert. All shampoo adverts must die.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Have we talked about

"Mr Judge I urge you to..."
"Urge?"
"I've got the uuuurrrge"
"She's got the urge to 'erbal"

It just speeds ahead in terms of being irrelevant to anyone, let alone the UK.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I like the way the soya drink people are trying to pretend that we won't pronounce the name of their drink AIDS. Off the market in 3 months.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:52 (seventeen years ago) link

It is foul tasting muck too

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:53 (seventeen years ago) link

i think I started a thread about AdeZ. Apparently it had a phenomenal marketing budget.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Gotta do something with all that unwanted GM soya.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:56 (seventeen years ago) link

It might have been a good idea to taste the stuff before trying to flog it

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh! And Southern Comfort trying to convince us to order a "SoCo" while Jack Daniels would like us to think they make Ye Traditional Whisky, and not Drink That Means Fighting With The Police Later

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:59 (seventeen years ago) link

I like fighting with the police.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:01 (seventeen years ago) link

The ones clearly made to be shown across Europe, and then dubbed with language for each region. But we can tell it's made in Germany, cos everyone looks German!
Worse yet when they try and have them dubOverThe actress.
Kinder are the worst of all for this. Milk bars indeed.
-- stet (vmdnb900...) (webmail), Today 11:44 AM. (later) (link)

Plus, those ads contain German Humour. Which does not translate! It just makes UK viewers go ".... ?"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:03 (seventeen years ago) link

There's one doing the rounds on daytime and digital where some ad exec has clearly decided that people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS need to be told over and over again that it is an advert aimed at people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, so the besuited man standing in front of a blank background says "LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS" over and over again, over-stressing the words LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS every time he does so.

"Do you have LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS? If you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS it can be very hard to get insurance, so people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS should try the insurance company that only takes on people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, like you. So, if you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, call Feckless Drivers Inc on....

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:21 (seventeen years ago) link

This thread need more youtube.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:35 (seventeen years ago) link

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