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IN MY EXPERIENCE... (I am only typing that once, so I don't get accused of generalisations throughout this post.)
...one of the worst parts of the aftermath of sexual assault is other people trying to dictate your reactions for you. JBR and John D have (perhaps unintentionally) tweaked two of my biggest bugbears. I am reacting to the stereotypes, rather than the people expressing the viewpoints.
First off, there is the Sensitive New Age Guy who acts as if anyone even talking about rape is SOOOOO offensive to women that we mustn't discuss it at all. They do this under the guise of being sensitive towards women, but really... it's because it makes THEM uncomfortable to talk about it.
Second, there's the Survivor who gets so defensive that if you even mention your own experiences, you're accused of "hiding behind victim mentality" or the like.
Rape is a double assault in that you are not just physically assaulted, but you are also made to feel ashamed, made to feel that it is your fault, and made to feel that you CAN NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT what has been DONE TO YOU. Do people who are hit by cars or have their houses broken into get this kind of enforced shame? No. Talking about rape, even in a lighthearted way, is not offensive. NOT TALKING about rape, and making it seem like something shameful that you should keep quiet about for fear of being seen to "boast" - THAT is FAR more offensive to me.
As trolling as the genesis of this thread may have been, I think it's a valid question, something really interesting and important to discuss. And yes, ILM often discusses things in very flippant and potentially offensive ways, but I'm not going to stand back from the discussion cause someone makes a flippant "Serial date rapist, what's on your walkman?" comment.
Music affects all of our emotions - it heightens our romantic feelings when we're in love, it heightens our desolation and depression when we're sad. The music doesn't cause the emotion, but it does stir and affect it. So why not discuss what kind of music potentially stirs and heightens aggressive and mysogynist emotions?
People talk about Frat Boy Rock in regards to date rape. Interesting. Let's talk about nu metal and its relation to the assaults that take place in the moshpits of debacles like the last Woodstock. And talk about Nirvana, and men missing the point of lyrics like "Rape me, do it again" while perpetrating rape. (Did this really happen, or is it another urban myth? I'm curious...) I'm interested in the *assumptions* about what a rapist would listen to as much as what they *actually* listened to.
BTW, do I think it was a coicidence that the boy who assaulted me was listening to Metallica? I don't think so.
― kate, Tuesday, 25 March 2003 13:30 (twenty-one years ago) link
four months pass...
to me, the point is that a person with aggressive tendencies is more likely to listen to aggressive music. the music isn't responsible; it merely reflects the individual. and if a person is really hell-bent on rape, he isn't going to give a shit what's on the stereo, whether it's low or mortiis.
― call mr. lee (call mr. lee), Tuesday, 29 July 2003 22:32 (twenty years ago) link