Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

Google does this when you clear the spam folder

Hooray, no spam here!

Congratulations! You've won the game!

Don't patronise me, Spider Solitaire on Easy difficulty.

Once went into this bar in Glasgow for food and had to run away again before I sought out the person who wrote the menu and gave them an ickle punch in their oochy-coochy wee face:

I certainly do NOT want to eat "billy goat's cheese", thanks. That would be disgusting, and is possibly illegal.

on the way home tonight i got accosted by a chugger as i came out of my local Tesco Express. i do not live in a swanky area, feel like this was a major escalation of hostilities

on my way home tonight i drank an innocent smoothie, setting in train some complex karmatic play

I am dying with laughter at "billy goat's cheese"

Fish & chips

Tittys traditional fish and chips, battered to death haddock wi’ mushy peas (all veggies beware they have nasty ham through the peees) and a slice of lemon. (Please be careful there may be one or two bones in the fish they had to move about you know)

I am going to assume "Tittys" means something different in Glasgow; besides there's more than enough in the rest of the entry for me to roll my eyes at

pretty sure that menu is some teaser marketing for the next Belle and Sebastian album

Titty's means the same in Glasgow and I have never heard this name or nickname before.

Haha ah man, I worked there for a year. The menu related bantz you'd have with the customers. Great days...

Not ISA, but deeply fucking irritating nonetheless.

IN 2016
BRING ME THE HORIZON
WILL TOUR THE UNITED KINGDOM.
THIS IS NOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
THIS IS A WARNING.

Just came here to post what I see onimo mentioned 3 years ago about flickr and its 'herding pandas' schtick. Painful.

Boomf and their revoltingly twee marketing and aesthetic basically is this thread personified.

they also belong on one of the threads about charging idiots insane prices for tat over the internet

These videos: https://spc.gc.epsilon.com/optout/OptOut.aspx

opening sentence of a press release waiting for me at work this morning

Epic Awards 2016 ceremony took place at Cardiff Castle last night and crowned Pimp My Uke as Epic Awards 2016 winners for Wales and Black History Month as the runner up.

curse you and your whimsical web designing http://oneltd.co.uk/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scottybryan/do-you-want-to-take-this-outside#.vfdw8w5nL

Behind the curtain

http://digiday.com/brands/burger-king-community-manager-job/

That old password thing, eh? Don't worry, happens to the best of us. Just click on this link and we'll sort it out for you.

Cheers old chum!

https://webappstatic.buzzfeed.com/static/2015-11/17/9/campaign_images/webdr01/get-the-buzzfeed-android-app-for-free-2-27075-1447769437-5_big.jpg

with bonus 'cheeky' contravention of the Google Play logo guidelines

been seeing these ads around for a while and i think the winking acknowledgment of dead-eyed grasping corporate greed is somehow even worse than the innocent smoothies aesthetic

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ckfk4ZQXIAAMANo.jpg

#refreshingstuff

does anyone choose to drink oasis?

i (not so secretly any more) thought that was quite an amusing poster. not sure it would convince me to buy Oasis, but still

You know that nice story about the woman who tweeted she was in love with the man who ran the Oxford St Waterstones Twitter account and ended up marrying him?

Jonathan has stopped being a bookseller and become a social media writer for Innocent drinks.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2016/jul/19/twitter-love-story-wedding-waterstones-full-story

I used to know that guy, this whole story is bizarre

don't find the story that bizarre. thought it was sort of cute, although guy's patter sounds terrible and completely suited to a job as social media writer for innocent

his move from being a teenager making dead baby jokes to writing this stuff is definitely a meaty topic though

haha

so adorable, i hope he's got a ukelele

from innocent's facebook page and custom-designed to infuriate ilxors

innocent
11 August 2016 at 18:00 ·
We’ve written a list of Jay-Z’s 99 problems:

1. Getting soufflé to rise
2. Finding a reliable plumber
3. Getting the smell of oranges off his hands
4. Transitioning to internet banking
5. When to use 'affect' and 'effect'
6. Long division
7. Not understanding 3D printing
8. Global warming
9. Gluten intolerance
10. Parallel parking
11. Poaching eggs
12. Remembering that Sydney isn't the capital of Australia
13. The plight of the red squirrel
14. Not being able to go outside to play Pokemon Go without being mobbed by paparazzi
15. Tidal
16. Exma
17. How to spell ‘Eczema’
18. The rising cost of stamps
19. Seeded grapes
20. Bedroom tax
21. The pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre
22. Trying not to snack between meals
23. Not being able to find the end of the Sellotape
24. Finding half sizes for shoes
25. Understanding the economic and socio-political implications of Brexit
26. Hiccups
27. Cryptic crosswords
28. Whether to make the switch from DVD to Blu-ray
29. Unexpected item in the bagging area
30. The objectification of women in mainstream media
31. Hayfever
32. Pins and needles
33. Wanting to order a cocktail but being embarrassed by its gratuitously sexual name
34. Underripe avocados
35. Overripe avocados
36. His obsession with perfectly ripe avocados
37. Feeling sleepy after lunch
38. When to use the Oxford comma
39. Daddy longlegs
40. Really wanting a dog but knowing that his current lifestyle isn’t compatible with dog ownership
41. Shin splints
42. Rail replacement bus services
43. The meaning of life
44. Not enjoying eating yoghurt as much as the women in the adverts
45. The hole in the ozone layer
46. Not being able to trust contactless card payments
47. Fixed versus variable rate mortgages
48. Is H ‘ayche’ or ‘hayche’?
49. The Milton Keynes grid system
50. Recurring nightmare where he is late for an exam he hasn’t revised for
51. Wasps
52. The western world’s over-reliance on fossil fuels
53. Crumbs in the bed
54. Only remembering the names of 4 of Henry VIII's wives
55. Forgetting to put the bins out
56. Ladle - bowl on a stick, or just a big spoon?
57. Needing the loo in the middle of the night
58. The declining bee population
59. Two day hangovers
60. Wondering whether Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift’s relationship is real or not.
61. Solange
62. Stress-induced twitchy eye
63. Not enjoying 'Breaking Bad' as much as everyone else
64. Calls from unknown numbers
65. Burnt toast
66. Being endorsed for skills he doesn't really have by people he doesn't really know on LinkedIn
67. Still wanting to call Emojis emoticons
68. Foot cramp
69. People making immature jokes about the number 69
70. Accidentally ‘replying all’
71. How much water to cook rice with
72. Mosquitoes at dusk
73. Kanye
74. Finding a Natwest card reader
75. People who respond ‘maybe’ to Facebook event invites
76. The middle three Star Wars films
77. Tickly cough
78. The increasing gap between rich and poor
79. Clammy hands
80. People putting milk back in the fridge when there's only a tiny bit left
81. Not knowing what his local council does and doesn’t recycle
82. Whether it makes fiscal sense to buy an annual travelcard
83. Opening the dishwasher before it's done
84. Insufficient legroom at the theatre
85. Sunday traffic
86. Feeling quite indifferent to Marmite
87. Having to split the bill evenly after a group meal despite only drinking water and Nigel having four Daiquiris
88. How to pronounce ‘scone’
89. Worrying that he doesn’t suit hats
90. The Edinburgh tram debacle
91. Having the door held open for him from far away, so he’s forced into an awkward sort of jog walk
92. Ambiguous toilet door signs in restaurants
93. Understanding the politics of the Middle East
94. Sinusitis
95. At the end of Lady and The Tramp, 3 of their puppies look like Lady, and 1 looks like Tramp. But in real life, they’d be cross-breeds
96. Washing his trousers with a tissue in the pocket
97. Meaning to buy tuna in spring water but accidentally buying it in brine
98. Lemonade
99. Realising, once he started writing them all down in list form, just how many problems he has.

it's gentle racism, the most delightful kind

That belongs on about 9 scornful repost threads

It keeps the meme very much alive for starters

reposted on fb by a friend who also stans for postmodern jukebox and the hackney colliery band, who also feel like they belong on about 9 scornful repost threads including this one

Jeez

just googled 'postmodern jukebox' on acct of never having heard of it and it came up second in autocomplete, after postmodernism itself. is this reflective of its popularity or did it twig that I was just looking at a page on which it was mentioned

it, them, him, whatever

oh god postmodern jukebox are the pits. sadly i know a fair few well-meaning people who seem to think they're great.

i figure if the only way people can listen to contemporary pop music is thru the filter of a gentler, more segregated age then let them knock themselves out

fine, they're still shot though. the musical equivalent of the Innocent Smoothies aesthetic.

Someone should do a thread about that.

if it doesn't kill us it could bring us closer together

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/13697020_10154368275336204_3507468110234105071_n.jpg?oh=d416fe33b5629231927a7cad30f7b55e&oe=58230457

Posted with the title 'What British people say versus what they actually mean'

Bunting, checker table cloth, newspaper, fancy teacup, two innocent products on display - possible crumpets in the background.

cross-stitched text of rivers of blood speech just out of shot

Feel like this is related if not quite the same thing.

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/index.jsp