Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

http://www.snafflingpig.co.uk/pages/about-us
http://www.snafflingpig.co.uk/blogs/news/39022785-piggin-important-the-times-they-are-a-changin

no one fucks with the Laughing Cow

http://i.imgur.com/hhVG3d4.png?2

wonder did they piss off laughing cow or ginger pig. i'd say their logo is quite like the latter.

too reminiscent of:
http://torrentking.eu/covers/movies/48/28/0064828.jpg

Not the most obnoxious example, but still... unwarranted email from Virgin Trains East Coast yesterday:

"Friend request accepted (get in!)"
"krakow and Virgin Trains East Coast are FRIENDS ...with benefits!"
"It's always exciting to make a new friend, especially one with benefits - and our benefits can take you the length of the east coast, fast, frequently, and with a bit more swagger.
And if those aren't enough - here's a welcome 30% off your first journey to get you started. Don't mention it."

Implied train-fucking always encourages my patronage.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/12360299_10153820885201204_365432015774055504_n.jpg?oh=b2e5b220772cb76c2736669af660ab48&oe=5746976C

I keep seeing jokey flowcharts on boards outside of shops, pubs, barbers. flowcharts that always end in a square that says 'come on for a beer' or 'get your hair cut'. When did this become a thing?

I feel like there's a completely different conversation to be had about those chalkboards. I think they're sort of a thing born of Buzzfeed. I see a lot of the same weak jokes recycled quite a bit.

Going back to the chuggers thing, the major difference between the US and UK is that in the UK, it's illegal to solicit cash donations - i.e. if you are going to donate to a charity solicitor on the street, you have to stand there and give them your bank details, which seems completely insane to me - in the States the general thing is a Salvation Army guy will ring a bell outside of Wal Mart or whatever and people throw him quarters.

Like 95% of chuggers open with "Hey big guy" to my fat ass, which is a guarantee I'm not even going to stutter step as I race by

bought some sheets off habitat recently and it said "you did it!" in the confirmation email. like thanks for making me feel like a 5-year-old child using the toilet successfully when i "manage" to buy a product on your site.

don't we have a whole thread all about chuggers by eisbär or someone, running the gauntlet etc etc

every charity would p much rather u commit to less over a longer period than drop a larger lump sum whenever. partly cos of operational efficiency (esp with implementing long term projects) but also to develop ur emotional narrative commitment to its cause instead of just giving urself a carefree serotonin hit

that's the line anyway. they're also counting on u never having the balls to cancel a dd even though ur freely entitled to do so at any time

ime the best and most numerous street chuggers do share with comedy/improv types a sort of righteous sociopathy. like u get a lot of anti establishment punky squatter types who wield world peace and fuck you in each hand

"Chief" is another keyword. Feel like Limmy is the master enthographer of this dead-eyed marketing-bro discourse.

― Stevie T, Sunday, 20 December 2015 10:05 Bookmark

unfortunately i grew up with the ldn urban slang usage of chief (akin to prick) that i'm not sure is still extant

always feel on edge whenever a scotsman says pal lol

you really don't get those types in amateur comedy and improv ime.

comedy: single men who often seek to defend racism or sexism or offensive behaviour. posh people who think people want to listen to them. ethnic minorities making fun of their own race. that's the main stereotype but also a lot of intellectually superior vague lefties. women who don't self-define in traditional female ways.

improv: wacky but generally benevolent nerds. i stopped doing improv despite feeling like it was one of my strengths in performance, mainly because the entire point of it is total acceptance of the story and not controlling it - it would go well and people would laugh but on the way home i'd analyse and think about none of it was what i find funny and it triggered a deep depression.

i guess there is a small crossover between chugging and the all in this together jolly good fun "everyone is funny" feeling of improv (at its worst), and also like fancy dress or santacon or music festivals or whatever...

xpost you don't hear "guvnor" very often these days

I cancelled a charity DD after getting sick of monthly calls trying to get me to up my donation. I don't know if these methods are the most efficient at raising much-needed funds but they sure burn thru yr good will quickly

sorry to see you go, bruvnor

Need a new thread for empty terms of address I use every day: "bud", "mate", "pal" etc etc

I almost cancelled UNICEF membership after receiving a text message on my phone from them - felt really intrusive.. recently sent out mails to all charities I'm supporting that I never want to hear from them again please (will pay, though)

feel like i actually should give money to charity but picking one is almost impossible, and the general sense of hurling money into the void, though i guess spending is the same.

Are you in London? There are a few homeless charities, for example, that put a real value on what you donate, like Shelter or Crisis, where it's more straightforward (e.g. "£22 goes towards a room for one family for a night, plus dinner, in a shelter") - it makes it feel less like your donation is going towards something more vague.

I give what I can, when I can, and feel guilty that I resent most street fundraising operations. I wonder if anyone has studied them as a thing - do they do more good in the long run, reminding people of charity in general, or can they risk turning some people *off* to the concept by making them feel badgered or made to feel guilty for not stopping?

I didn't know that about the illegality of soliciting cash - feel less opposed to the chugging technique now (n.b. it's the technique not the cause that's the problem)

The only time I ever signed up to one was when a housemate who was a chugger needed one more signup to hit his quota so I signed up for two weeks then needed to pay a gas bill ... in those days though I wasn't securely employed. Swapping stories with housemate chugger about chugging vs what I did which was work in a charity shop, it sounded like he had a lot more confrontations and bad vibes on a day to day basis whereas the worst of it I ever had to deal with was shoplifters. He was being paid though and I was volunteering

i just tweeted verizon customer service and in their DM reply they said 'awesome sauce' :-(

i would cancel on the spot out of sheer spite/principle

xp and ot but it's not illegal in england & wales (or any other part of the UK afaik) to take cash donations on the street, although depending on the local authority the rules governing it are often tighter than they are for chugging

every charity would p much rather u commit to less over a longer period than drop a larger lump sum whenever. partly cos of operational efficiency (esp with implementing long term projects) but also to develop ur emotional narrative commitment to its cause instead of just giving urself a carefree serotonin hit

that's the line anyway. they're also counting on u never having the balls to cancel a dd even though ur freely entitled to do so at any time

― r|t|c, Tuesday, January 5, 2016 11:34 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah this is all otm. Interestingly the fee paid by the charity to the fundraising company per successful signup amounts to about a year's worth of monthly payments, so the charity essentially makes no money at all in the 1st year. The fact that they all gladly pay attests to the fact that chugging is the most effective way of getting long-term regular donations, but all the same I've signed up for all the charities I support online to save them having to pay this. Well, that and the buddy thing &c (I imagine most of these guys are the kind of cunts who say "can I get a squiggle" when asking for a signature, also)

http://fud.community.services.support.microsoft.com/Fud/FileDownloadHandler.ashx?fid=ba47bea6-c01b-43e3-8e8e-0fa2bfce1d68

that doesn't even make any sense.

time was a man built something real

I remember when you could kick a block of reinforced concrete in the street...

Not completely ISA, but jfc @ all Lapka product videos (will not link to the ad pairing Satie with completely lunatic nonsense pseudo-jony-ive voiceover and slow motion gadget porn visuals of overpriced radiation sensors for humanitarian reasons)...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdH-qN40eYE

(still not entirely sure the whole thing is not a parody)

jfc no way

http://www.wired.com/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/130304_lapka_0044-660x440.jpg

does it detect bovine levels of stupidity?

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/12552729_10153900850041204_7840352625589329314_n.jpg?oh=e014e4d9432bcf056fdd3bab2a298b33&oe=572F3F59

innocent We estimate that at least 46% of people in the UK are currently unaware of what penguins are. Change your profile picture to the below image, and do a vital public service in helping your friends and loved ones become more aware of penguins.

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went to an odeon cinema for the first time in an age and the cute, matey announcements were v much of this thread. this tone is spreading

http://i68.tinypic.com/k4jo9l.png

Once went into this bar in Glasgow for food and had to run away again before I sought out the person who wrote the menu and gave them an ickle punch in their oochy-coochy wee face:

http://www.thebutterflyandthepig.com/menu/

lock thread

4 whole pounds and 25 pee for all our soup and bread too

mmmm, pee

lol they actually do that Simpsons bit later on

Hotmail, specifically when I go to the Drafts folder and it's empty. Then there's this message:

There are no messages
in the Drafts folder :-)

It's the smiley that does it. What if I did have Drafts in the Drafts folder and you've gone and lost them, Microsoft?

Google does this when you clear the spam folder

Hooray, no spam here!

Congratulations! You've won the game!

Don't patronise me, Spider Solitaire on Easy difficulty.

Once went into this bar in Glasgow for food and had to run away again before I sought out the person who wrote the menu and gave them an ickle punch in their oochy-coochy wee face:

I certainly do NOT want to eat "billy goat's cheese", thanks. That would be disgusting, and is possibly illegal.

on the way home tonight i got accosted by a chugger as i came out of my local Tesco Express. i do not live in a swanky area, feel like this was a major escalation of hostilities

on my way home tonight i drank an innocent smoothie, setting in train some complex karmatic play

I am dying with laughter at "billy goat's cheese"