Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

'Hey, running man!'

'Ello ello someone looks rich!'

'Dude, five of your minutes?'

haha. "five of your minutes" is spot on. feels weird in the same way as twitter bios saying "lover of gin" or something. like if we say something in a cumbersome way it gains some new meaning - or maybe just ceases to be dull.

pushing a buggy, it's always 'hey supermum!!!'

"Chief" is another keyword. Feel like Limmy is the master enthographer of this dead-eyed marketing-bro discourse.

for some reason i never get targeted by these - though there are always two outside my office (opposite the main entrance to holborn station). my tactics include looking as far away from them as possible in any direction, or making really horrible eye contact.

John Pienaar has just used the word "chillaxed" about 5 times in a row whilst talking about Cameron, and the grating quality of the word multiplied with every use

Buddy / boss / chief seems to be more common with second generation Brits ime. idk whether it's a cultural thing with people who have history in places where honorific titles are more widely used.

i actually like the "boss" and "boss man" thing in the chicken shops or newsagents around east london. "you want sauce with that boss?" is like set in stone.

i don't mean i like people calling me "boss" either - just that it feels like a comforting and common part of the local lexicon.

have seen it observed that chugging patter is basically repurposed catcalling

what are chuggers?

"Charity muggers" aka street fundraisers, they stand outside in town centres trying to sign up passersby to charities

they have them in the US but they are way more aggressive in the UK.

in the US the same people do improv comedy, but there is no such outlet in the UK.

i had to look it up on wikipedia

i walked by one of them once, black early-20's guy talking to a white guy in his 60s and overheard "see these issues are very important, that's why i'm going hard in the paint with you right now"

there is lots of improv comedy in the uk! it is kind of a home for the wacky/tiresome but not sure it's the same as chuggers, who seem more false to me.

Whose Line Is It Anyway? ran for over a decade

it's a pretty big scene in London

the ones here (charity solicitors) are more earnest and deferential. There are always two or three at all times in front of the Whole Foods supermarket near me.

the people who get paid to collect petition signatures are a bit closer to your chuggers.

yeah improv is a thing but I can't see much crossover

I have done this job btw!

did you say buddy or chief?

i had a friend who did that job, and it must not have been terribly rewarding because a few weeks later he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.

lol no (xp! xp!)

I could never bring myself to do any of that shit, just tried to engage with ppl normally. I lasted 6 months in the job, longer than any of the shit telesales jobs I did, which is quite an achievement as I am not at all extroverted. The company really screwed me over tho

granted there is improv in london, but the spiritual siblings of people who do improv comedy in the US are stood outside outside pizza express on park street in bristol.

http://www.snafflingpig.co.uk/pages/about-us
http://www.snafflingpig.co.uk/blogs/news/39022785-piggin-important-the-times-they-are-a-changin

no one fucks with the Laughing Cow

http://i.imgur.com/hhVG3d4.png?2

wonder did they piss off laughing cow or ginger pig. i'd say their logo is quite like the latter.

too reminiscent of:
http://torrentking.eu/covers/movies/48/28/0064828.jpg

Not the most obnoxious example, but still... unwarranted email from Virgin Trains East Coast yesterday:

"Friend request accepted (get in!)"
"krakow and Virgin Trains East Coast are FRIENDS ...with benefits!"
"It's always exciting to make a new friend, especially one with benefits - and our benefits can take you the length of the east coast, fast, frequently, and with a bit more swagger.
And if those aren't enough - here's a welcome 30% off your first journey to get you started. Don't mention it."

Implied train-fucking always encourages my patronage.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/12360299_10153820885201204_365432015774055504_n.jpg?oh=b2e5b220772cb76c2736669af660ab48&oe=5746976C

I keep seeing jokey flowcharts on boards outside of shops, pubs, barbers. flowcharts that always end in a square that says 'come on for a beer' or 'get your hair cut'. When did this become a thing?

I feel like there's a completely different conversation to be had about those chalkboards. I think they're sort of a thing born of Buzzfeed. I see a lot of the same weak jokes recycled quite a bit.

Going back to the chuggers thing, the major difference between the US and UK is that in the UK, it's illegal to solicit cash donations - i.e. if you are going to donate to a charity solicitor on the street, you have to stand there and give them your bank details, which seems completely insane to me - in the States the general thing is a Salvation Army guy will ring a bell outside of Wal Mart or whatever and people throw him quarters.

Like 95% of chuggers open with "Hey big guy" to my fat ass, which is a guarantee I'm not even going to stutter step as I race by

bought some sheets off habitat recently and it said "you did it!" in the confirmation email. like thanks for making me feel like a 5-year-old child using the toilet successfully when i "manage" to buy a product on your site.

don't we have a whole thread all about chuggers by eisbär or someone, running the gauntlet etc etc

every charity would p much rather u commit to less over a longer period than drop a larger lump sum whenever. partly cos of operational efficiency (esp with implementing long term projects) but also to develop ur emotional narrative commitment to its cause instead of just giving urself a carefree serotonin hit

that's the line anyway. they're also counting on u never having the balls to cancel a dd even though ur freely entitled to do so at any time

ime the best and most numerous street chuggers do share with comedy/improv types a sort of righteous sociopathy. like u get a lot of anti establishment punky squatter types who wield world peace and fuck you in each hand

"Chief" is another keyword. Feel like Limmy is the master enthographer of this dead-eyed marketing-bro discourse.

― Stevie T, Sunday, 20 December 2015 10:05 Bookmark

unfortunately i grew up with the ldn urban slang usage of chief (akin to prick) that i'm not sure is still extant

always feel on edge whenever a scotsman says pal lol

you really don't get those types in amateur comedy and improv ime.

comedy: single men who often seek to defend racism or sexism or offensive behaviour. posh people who think people want to listen to them. ethnic minorities making fun of their own race. that's the main stereotype but also a lot of intellectually superior vague lefties. women who don't self-define in traditional female ways.

improv: wacky but generally benevolent nerds. i stopped doing improv despite feeling like it was one of my strengths in performance, mainly because the entire point of it is total acceptance of the story and not controlling it - it would go well and people would laugh but on the way home i'd analyse and think about none of it was what i find funny and it triggered a deep depression.

i guess there is a small crossover between chugging and the all in this together jolly good fun "everyone is funny" feeling of improv (at its worst), and also like fancy dress or santacon or music festivals or whatever...

xpost you don't hear "guvnor" very often these days

I cancelled a charity DD after getting sick of monthly calls trying to get me to up my donation. I don't know if these methods are the most efficient at raising much-needed funds but they sure burn thru yr good will quickly

sorry to see you go, bruvnor

Need a new thread for empty terms of address I use every day: "bud", "mate", "pal" etc etc

I almost cancelled UNICEF membership after receiving a text message on my phone from them - felt really intrusive.. recently sent out mails to all charities I'm supporting that I never want to hear from them again please (will pay, though)

feel like i actually should give money to charity but picking one is almost impossible, and the general sense of hurling money into the void, though i guess spending is the same.

Are you in London? There are a few homeless charities, for example, that put a real value on what you donate, like Shelter or Crisis, where it's more straightforward (e.g. "£22 goes towards a room for one family for a night, plus dinner, in a shelter") - it makes it feel less like your donation is going towards something more vague.

I give what I can, when I can, and feel guilty that I resent most street fundraising operations. I wonder if anyone has studied them as a thing - do they do more good in the long run, reminding people of charity in general, or can they risk turning some people *off* to the concept by making them feel badgered or made to feel guilty for not stopping?

I didn't know that about the illegality of soliciting cash - feel less opposed to the chugging technique now (n.b. it's the technique not the cause that's the problem)

The only time I ever signed up to one was when a housemate who was a chugger needed one more signup to hit his quota so I signed up for two weeks then needed to pay a gas bill ... in those days though I wasn't securely employed. Swapping stories with housemate chugger about chugging vs what I did which was work in a charity shop, it sounded like he had a lot more confrontations and bad vibes on a day to day basis whereas the worst of it I ever had to deal with was shoplifters. He was being paid though and I was volunteering

i just tweeted verizon customer service and in their DM reply they said 'awesome sauce' :-(

i would cancel on the spot out of sheer spite/principle