Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

... And that you're in a position of having to train 25 of them at a time.

Whenever I start to get into a situation like this, I insist on each person attending from his/her desk or couch or whatever with a headset. This way I can mute all background noise and ensure every participant is treated equally. This also reduces the clusterfuck created by two or more "live" groups constantly having side conversations or talking over someone from the other group.

One satellite office manager asshole I had near-daily videoconferences with was in the habit of openly muting the mic so he could disparage me or someone in my team to his own assembled victim-team. I returned the favour by routinely highlighting his aggressiveness and ineptitude during meetings in head office. He was gone three months later. Satellite always loses, friend.

I mean, fuck, he reached over and hit the mute, and we all sat silently trying to lip read obscenities on a giant LCD screen. Then back to the meeting.

omg at that manager - at least be discreet if yr gonna be an asshole. re: training I could have done virtually, but I generally dislike that method as I catch learners napping all the time (they aren't well supervised).

so anywho...they gave me a project manager to report to that is completely useless. It's not even Peter principle - I can't imagine what she excels at even at a lower level.

Early on she kept trying to get me to do her tasks for her, which of course I refused. I then learned she'd been pulling this shit on other direct reports on other projects, more than likely using the excuse that she was 'grooming' the employee for the next level. Likewise, it's not uncommon for someone to do something they're not supposed to either because they don't know better or they're afraid to upset the "person in charge". Me, on the other hand, I used to do this person's job (and left because I hated it), so I need no such grooming, and she seemed stunned when I said "no".

She also, for a while, would basically try to get me to draft every email for her. During meetings, she would ping me and go "OMG WHAT SHOULD I SAY NOW". all while she was whining about all the 'negative feedback' she gets. I had to beg her on three separate occasions to just do her job so I could do mine, had to complain to my boss and hers (the latter who has acknowledged her problems and basically has to babysit her because of it).

She took a whole week's vacation last week (which is poor form when you're in the last month of a project), but despite it making me fall behind, I backed her up and ensured that everything stayed on track. So how does she repay me?

I take a rare day off today and suddenly she starts pelting me with text messages asking me questions about something that happened in training last week. Almost every question, I had proactively answered in the email I sent her before I left the office Friday, which I passive-aggressively pointed out.

I think the only reason she has a job is because they can't afford to lose headcount right now but if she eventually gets shitcanned, she'll be the only one surprised. This is also the person that took credit for things I did on a project three years ago rather than clarifying she had nothing to do with either.

mean, fuck, he reached over and hit the mute, and we all sat silently trying to lip read obscenities on a giant LCD screen.

LOL what a knob! How could he not have known it was obvious if he was ON CAMERA.

after a while the lip-reading probably wasn't necessary, just the hitting of the mute button was enough to signal what he was doing

im leaving my current job with mostly this question on my mind: why would anyone talk to a person who is trying to eat their lunch ever at any time and for any reason

It's a great question. We were just reminded this morning about a loose policy strongly encouraging employees to eat somewhere other than their desks so that people aren't tempted to ask them work-related questions while they're off the clock. To which I silently replied, I'm going to continue eating at my desk until you drag me bodily away from my desk, and your inability to register the fact that my montiors are off and that I'm eating food and browing the internet on my personal device is pretty firmly your problem.

I'm surrounded by ppl for whom that's not a great indicator as to whether they're clocked in or not tbh

yeah, i love that. happened today. guy rolls into my cubicle in the middle of lunch hour, right after i take a big bite of my sandwich and i've got like barbecue sauce on my hands and face. i was civil and helped him out, but i seriously had a flash of internal rage.

At the printing company in Redding, I was no safer eating lunch in the break room than I was at my desk. If I really wanted to be undisturbed I had to leave the building. Hated that shit.

what happens if you just tell these savages "I'm finishing lunch, I'll get back to you in fifteen minutes"

Through a mouthful of half-chewed sandwich that you're spraying into their faces.

"ok, I'll catch you later, it's just it was about this client who emailed saying...." ARGHHH

90% of the people I deal with are salaried and if you're a manager or project lead who is in meetings all the damn time, it's not rare (or at least not rare enough) to get scheduled for a meeting over lunch with the expectation people will eat during the meeting

luckily I haven't had that problem for a while, but there were a couple years there where I had at least one lunch meeting per week. sometimes we'd get food catered by the corporate cafeteria, but... that food sucks

When I had an office, I kept the door open unless I was eating, but when it was closed, a big sign hung there that read "NOW IS NOT THE TIME." Of course, I haven't had an office with a door since 2005. Oh, well.

Interruption from general manager: I didn't say shit to him.
Interruption from front office CSRs: uncomprehending blinking and just standing there. Usually they eventually went away, but sometimes it would be a question for a customer who was standing at the front counter drumming his fingers.
Interruption from sales reps: "I just need 2 minutes and I have to go back out on the road." They're trained to ignore anything anyone says to them anyway.
Never got interrupted by my dept. head, who was one of the best bosses I ever had, or by the press and bindery crew, whose own breaks were inviolate and understood that other people's were as well.

I do not understand why people eat at their desks. Your lunch break is a break. Use it. You need the headspace.

Christ on a bike workmate, stop sniff-horking phlegm up your nose/into your throat every 10 seconds, it sounds fucking disgusting.

I generally pack my own lunch so my options are either eat at my desk alone or eat in the break room with coworkers. I guess I could also eat in my car or bring my lunch to another restaurant? Desk wins, thanks.

manager whose office sits along a corridor that leads to the bathroom/exit thank you for the revolting stench of mothballs that emanates out of said office

Worst lunch botherers are the ones who ask first then bother you anyway.

"Sorry to interrupt, are you on your lunch break?"
"YES!"
"Quick question about..."

Fuck off!

Annoying singing guy today:
"It was the summer. The summer of fifty nine!"

I eat at my desk. It's either that or sit in the breakroom and watch Gunsmoke with Wayne.

And they just went back to the b/w episodes which I don't really care about.

My desk is in no way quieter than the break room - Im surrounded by people and barely even have cubicle walls. TBH though I often just go out all together, its a good headclear.

But see, all the loudmouths in my office go out to lunch leaving me in there for the only hour it's quiet.

In a situ like that I'd prob stay at my desk to tbrh

People who knowingly disrupt your lunch are shitfucks.

If I see food on a desk I wait a half hour yo approach.

Today my project lead scheduled a debrief at the same time my training went to lunch. Result....i didn't eat.

Its like she thinks I can train, eat, and meet at the same time

irritating foodie-obsessed coworker brought in potato chips that have crickets (insect) in them, has been pushing them on everyone all day & thinks it's the funnest most endearing thing ever

FUCK OFF WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING DEAD BUG SNACKS

lol I hope I haven't been food novelty dude like that

there's been an ongoing -- like, over years -- discussion in my office re: would you rather eat a jar of mayonnaise or one live cockroach

i like mayo, but a surprising number of ppl are conflicted

a whole jar? do I get some sauce to dip the cockroach in, or do I have to chew/swallow it dry?

on a coworker note, some entomology dudes ordered some madagascar hissing cockroaches and offered a bunch up to whoever wanted via in-workplace classified ads. someone i worked with got one and had it living in his desk drawer for a long time. not sure how long it lasted, but it was pretty chill. i called it "hissy"

glad i don't know any entomology dudes

I feel kind of bad they use them for "eat a cockroach" challenges, hissy was pretty chill. lived in a little container in a drawer with a moist sponge and a fresh piece of lettuce dropped in a couple times per week.

having a bug as a pet is much better than eating a bug

i am firmly anti-bug eating

Crickets are p tasty

shut up

The international publicists' lair around the corner had an innocuous freebie ice-cream cart next to its front doors one day this summer. Upon closer inspection, the ice cream being given away had all kinds of grubs and locusts in it because: 21st Century protein.

Nope. NO NO NO NO NO.

There was (still is, I assume) an edible bug exhibit at the Insect Museum in New Orleans, and the waxworms were tasty enough.

Only bugs I eat in New Orleans are mudbugs.

i must be a freak – i eat at my desk maybe half the time, and totally don't mind people coming by and asking questions about things. i just take a little longer to eat/surf the interwebs. sometime i'll even do work!

i sometimes eat at desk. in some jobs any of the local cafes or places were so shit that my desk felt more calm and familiar.

My thing is that I'm trying to plow through my day as quickly as possible. So I don't leave and take a full hour walking someplace for a leisurely lunch when I can sprint through 20 minutes at my desk and gtfo of here asap. P.S. I kinda hate my job.

My thing is that I'm trying to plow through my day as quickly as possible. So I don't leave and take a full hour walking someplace for a leisurely lunch when I can sprint through 20 minutes at my desk and gtfo of here asap. P.S. I kinda hate my job.

I don't understand this. Your job has a "you can leave when your work is done" policy? Cause every job I've ever had has been "you're here until five, or six, or whatever time." So take a long-ass lunch if you can.

lots of jobs are like that, where you're supposed to work a certain number of hours, and lunch doesn't count toward it. the longer the lunch, the longer you have to stay at work.

Yeah, start and end time is flexible (one of the only things I really appreciate about this job). So I show up early, put in my 8, and jet.

Ah, weird. At my job I'm here from 8 to 5 (except for once a month when there's a meeting that starts at 7), period. Somewhere in there, I get an hour for lunch.

We have to take 30mins but after that you can come in from 8-7