That is true.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 05:26 (eight years ago) link
I thought t3d was coming back to ILX and shit.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 05:27 (eight years ago) link
you guys are nice. i did a shitty thing and i have to deal with it. doesn't mean i'm worthless, just that i have to hang in there and try again. shamefaced admission tonight :/
― mattresslessness, Wednesday, 9 December 2015 19:14 (eight years ago) link
good luck matt, you are one of my favorite posters and definitely not garbage. doing shitty things sucks, it is very difficult ime to own both my shitty actions and the rightful emotions i have about circumstances in which i decided to do take a shitty action. i have to remind myself a lot that it is human and possible to feel simultaneous and conflicting things at once, i am getting better at it but it is hard. i've been working through a lot of sexuality stuff in therapy for the past 5 years or so and the amount of shame and resentment that festered and blew up and manifested in some serious acting out and lying in my relationship is pretty crazy, i am super grateful to have (mostly) moved beyond a lot of that but SO much work remains in terms of honestly and adequately communicating about my sexuality to my partner
― marcos, Wednesday, 9 December 2015 19:22 (eight years ago) link
ah good to hear you're making progress and i'm not the only one.
― mattresslessness, Wednesday, 9 December 2015 19:25 (eight years ago) link
that went .. ok. i'm relieved. he talked mostly about how he's been depressed for the last few years. he sort of avoided how he felt about what i did, other than worrying a little bit about me. i could tell it hurt him though. it usually takes a few weeks for him to sort out his feelings about something like this. in the meantime, space.
we could be moving into 'good friends' or maybe 'open relationship'. he is very avoidant of all status talk though so it's confusing if i'm only wishing for the latter and it's not actually doable for him.
he's so strange. very abstracted all the time. he doesn't seem to care for the different arrangements / options that arise from the day-to-day structure of life. he only really opens up when the topic is ideas or other peoples' stories. i appreciate that about him very much because he's brilliant in that regard, but it makes it difficult to work out concrete actions, which i find myself needing in order to navigate a relationship.
anyway, glad i could vent here in the good ole coughdrop thread.
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 10 December 2015 20:33 (eight years ago) link
he said "if we can't be friends about stuff like this, there's no point" which i thought was pretty awesome.
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 10 December 2015 20:34 (eight years ago) link
New sexpression: eclair
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Sunday, 20 December 2015 01:36 (eight years ago) link
explain...
― Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Sunday, 20 December 2015 01:44 (eight years ago) link
When it gets really really dirty
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Sunday, 20 December 2015 02:11 (eight years ago) link
dude EW
― cory artangel (Stevie D(eux)), Sunday, 20 December 2015 02:21 (eight years ago) link
hey guys. things are pretty interesting these days!
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 14:43 (eight years ago) link
many ports of call?
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 14:50 (eight years ago) link
this past friday night was my boyfriend's 38th birthday. we had a big dinner snd had a whole mess of friends to the bar. afterward, we ended up meeting some gays at the eagle, including this one super cute guy who we've both had a HUGE crush in for years. anyway, we ended up at his house at the end of the night and my boyfriend & i basically devoured him alive. at one point my boyfriend and i were greedily eating out his hairy muscular armpits as he writhed in agony. ugh, it was stupidly hot. the next morning we ended up walking a couple miles back to the car and processing the experience. it's the first time both he & i had fooled around together with a 3rd -- up til now we've always fooled around separately. needless to say my guy had a really good birthday.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 14:58 (eight years ago) link
but besides that the last week and a half has been more action than i've seen in a while. ended up have my 2nd experience bottoming during a flip-fuck with a good friend. ended up topping the hell out of another acquaintance after running into him at the bar. plus things between my bf and i have been getting hotter & more frequent.
my boyfriend's been getting together with a good bisexual friend of his and doing some sexual surrogacy type shit, i dunno.
oh, and i bought a buttplug. which i'm wearing.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:04 (eight years ago) link
guys he's wearing a buttplug rn
― police patrol felt the smell of smoke and found that goat burns (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:26 (eight years ago) link
make sure to clean out before you plug!
― a booty cleaner, Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:26 (eight years ago) link
part of this has to do with the fact that my boyfriend & i don't have anal sex so after 8+ years im suddenly getting to explore that from both sides, as it were. plus the relatively recent opening of the relationship and me having the sort of confidence in my sexuality that i didn't when i was single. altogether it feels like i'm going through a 2nd puberty, hormones on full blast right now.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:28 (eight years ago) link
that's exciting, ps. i sort of miss openness, we stopped because of (reasons) but those sloppy bar makeouts were really fun/sexy. and yeah, it was...interesting having my long-delayed slut phase concurrent with being in a loving LTR
also are you wearing the buttplug like, out and about?
― donna rouge, Wednesday, 2 March 2016 18:18 (eight years ago) link
heh, i wore at work for a few hours this morning. it got uncomfy but only because the base wasn't sitting comfortably between the cheeks.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 20:54 (eight years ago) link
i think i'm about to embark on my slut phase
― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 2 March 2016 21:03 (eight years ago) link
first bananas and now this
― police patrol felt the smell of smoke and found that goat burns (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 2 March 2016 21:29 (eight years ago) link
like it's unrelated
― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 March 2016 01:59 (eight years ago) link
Spring strikes ILE gays...hard.
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 3 March 2016 02:01 (eight years ago) link
who do i have to top to get a banana around here
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 3 March 2016 15:37 (eight years ago) link
im officially a dildo owner now
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 16:12 (eight years ago) link
Welcome to the, er, club!
― rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Thursday, 24 March 2016 16:17 (eight years ago) link
thank you, i've yet to come up with a nsme for the little bugger
i mean is that what people do with dildos, name them? ive always assumed
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 16:59 (eight years ago) link
My husband (jokingly?) calls mine "my competition."
― rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Thursday, 24 March 2016 17:32 (eight years ago) link
what abt Cynthia or Andrea or Jennifer?
― sexy dander (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 24 March 2016 20:10 (eight years ago) link
i was thinking the way people name boats. or racehorses. or akc show dogs.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 20:49 (eight years ago) link
"tradewinds"
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 20:50 (eight years ago) link
"baby's new shoes"
"daniel's most auspicious sterling whisper"
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 20:52 (eight years ago) link
"problematic fave"
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 20:58 (eight years ago) link
Straight Fire Beautiful Dong
― sexy dander (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 24 March 2016 21:13 (eight years ago) link
Sausalito II
― sexy dander (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 24 March 2016 21:14 (eight years ago) link
"bashful"
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 24 March 2016 21:25 (eight years ago) link
I had one called Hebron
― got a long list of ILXors (fgti), Friday, 25 March 2016 00:27 (eight years ago) link
are anal beads even worthy of a name
― donna rouge, Friday, 25 March 2016 03:18 (eight years ago) link
Not if you have to name each one,
― rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Friday, 25 March 2016 03:19 (eight years ago) link
i don't think i've ever used a dildo in action...
beads only at a bachelor party. with a woman.
― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 25 March 2016 03:50 (eight years ago) link
dying @ "tradewinds"
― map, Friday, 25 March 2016 04:18 (eight years ago) link
they're like one of those families who name all their kids with the same initial
kimberly, kyle, kristin, kathleen, and little kevin
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Friday, 25 March 2016 13:23 (eight years ago) link
The Sandpiper
― sexy dander (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 25 March 2016 14:24 (eight years ago) link
Bird of Song's Elegant Graceful Regal Grains of Paradise
― sexy dander (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 25 March 2016 14:26 (eight years ago) link
rosecliff
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Friday, 25 March 2016 16:39 (eight years ago) link
i have cousins who were named this way :/
(i like my beads btw)
― donna rouge, Friday, 25 March 2016 18:02 (eight years ago) link
Beads > dildo, imo
― rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Friday, 25 March 2016 18:06 (eight years ago) link
sorry people, i have to blab somewhere. i had sex with this sweet guy twice last week. kind of a lucky draw on scruff. today we're going to hook up and he asks if i want to do a threesome. having had a fun one last week i say yes. the third guy shows up a half hour late. i can immediately tell i'm not on his wavelength. starts playing circuit music on his phone. i basically tell him to turn it off, i don't like music while playing. i do it with sweet guy while third kind of lays there in various configurations. he tries to drag me to a different position at some point, i say "would you like me to move somewhere?" anyway, it's not bad for a bit and i cum. then while 3 is doing this gross kissing all over my back i check my watch and i'm like "omg guys i've got to run." very awkward scrambling for my clothes with strained faux-polite conversation. i know i'm being the pooper but oh well, life is too short to endure the guy you don't like in a threeway, right, just as long as you aren't actively rude?
in other news, i told my seven-year bf that i wanted to be just friends on thursday. it went pretty well as far as those things go. it helps that we're pretty much there anyway. i'm still emotional though. it took me months to make up my mind because he's an amazing person but it was just not working. and now i don't want to date anyone for years and years. but i still fucking love sex. on the other hand my emotions are raw right now so i should probably hold off for a while. the hook-up apps! i signed up a week and a half ago and have been basically trying to gulp the sudden spray from a fire hydrant after not having had water forever, but now i'm like this water is kinda gross.
and prep, i mean i know it's reductive to think this way about it but goddamn does it feel good to not use a condom and feel like you aren't expressing a death wish.
― map, Saturday, 27 August 2016 21:53 (seven years ago) link