Dating With Mental Illness

also i believe people are responsible for their shitty behavior during their mental ill ish and that includes me
i mean i've tried convincing my credit card company otherwise but they're having none of it

<3

mental illness has a hefty tab at the bar

and a shopping list a mile long

zuuhhhhhh.. well i asked a nice woman out on tinder the other day, she said yes, and i basically got all scared and haven't opened the tinder app since (let alone replied). lol at me.

sorry.
i'm sure i really did upset people last time i was drunk-posting itt.
i don't want to re-read it and find out, though.
but, i am sorry.

i'll expel myself from this thread for a while, now. i'm in my late-twenties, living in a small town atm, etc., so it's not like i'm dating/have the possibility to right now, anyway.
also, i know it was uncool of me to assume ownership of this thread, on a sort of broad topic, only because i started it. this thread is for anyone.
sorry about all that.

It's ok, we can all just watch that hard-hitting documentary benny & joon for tips in the meanwhile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlmtpC2sRC8

sorry, monster mash

I haven't actually been reading this thread, because I'm worried about how badly I've pissed people off. I read very few posts here except for mine. I notice a couple posts, here and there, though. Thanks, brimstead.

Update: Ummm. I've been vegan for 12 years, and am 1/4 Native American (which I hate admitting because of the stigma), and I absolutely hate Thanksgiving (I got drunk all day today and posted a bunch of PETA stuff on Facebook, lol). Part of my family is 2/4 Native American. I feel like celebrating Thanksgiving, for part of my family, is entirely stupid, and akin to Jews celebrating Hitler's birthday.

Anyway: No one should be alone on Thanksgiving. I'm inviting the ice cream girl with schizophrenia over to my family's dinner tomorrow. I don't think she has anywhere to go. She's independently wealthy, but her family is horrible, just fucking horrible, and she lives alone, and her family is too horrible to deal with her.

We've hung out a few times since the hospital. I'd never touch her, for she's even more ill than I. I love her like a puppy. She used to wander outside my door, at the hospital, like a lost puppy dog. I hope my mom will let her come over. I don't know. She eats meat, is white, probably wants to celebrate Thanksgiving. I don't want her to be alone in her shitty little house. She doesn't even have a front door - it's off its hinges, and just leans against the space.

i should actually fix her door, now that i think about it. i guess it just never occurred to me to/or i didn't wanna be too involved or something.

i'll put it on my list of things to do (but fuck if i know if i actually will, the way things go).

xps to Abbott re Benny & Joon, I was going to look for a youtube of a young David Tennant (as mentioned by you elsewhere itt) in romance-in-mental-hospital-related 90s tv series "Taking Over The Asylum", but then I thought 1. I quite enjoyed it in the 90s 2. reading the wikipedia article, it was almost certainly objectively bad 3. keep a little nostalgic joy in my life by not seeing it ever again, why not

monster mash: sorry man. Stop worrying about this thread tho, it's fine and nobody knows who you are and who cares, etc. I know, easier said than done.

And I know drinking makes untreated mental health issues seem more livable-with but in my experience (admittedly of problems of a different size and nature) it also makes treating them harder, so if you are able to get yourself some help for the PTSD it would be worth also seeking help to cut down, but yes again easier said than done

I hope your Thanksgiving is going well; it was nice of you to invite the ice cream girl.

So how about this: the government stops the proper support workers in your region, cos you're in the shire not the city, cutbacks and such, and instead gives you money to hire your own carer. So OBVIOUSLY you hire yon young lassie you know from the pub, the one you have done joint halloween costumes with two years running, but NEVER made a move on, far too young, born in the 90s fucksake. But she works as a carer so she's qualified, right? The main part of the job is to come round, check I've not killed myself, make sure I did the dishes and hoovered the carpet and such, cos IF YOU DON'T MAINTAIN YOUR HOUSE THE GOVERNMENT WILL TAKE IT AWAY and you have to go live in the sheltered housing, right?
Then you decide you are in love with this lassie, but now she won't sleep with you anymore cos professionalism and such, also too young, but she still comes round for the designated sessions, then drives to pub and gets drunk with you (after she is finished working, professionalism mind) and I forget where I was going with this. Also I think wrong monstermash thread. I am not monstermash btw. I guess my question is... I donno. I forget. (was asking for a friend anyway)

too true m8

keep hoovering the carpet mind u

My goodness, forget all the cricket vocab, if any one post highlights the difference between the UK and US, it's this one. :O

Oh I'm sorry, I was trying to keep this universal, if it makes you feel better I feel as foreign from certain English posters on here as I do the Americans. All I really want is to return to the west coast of Sweden but I am am banned from there for OUTSTANDING CRIMINAL CHARGES. I mean, I could return, but they reckon they will arrest me if I do. But they say I'm not worth deporting, or whatever the Swedish for that is, don't make me find the paperwork. Ach, I donno what I'm doing with my life. I want to build a blanket fort, but I got INSTITUTIONALIZED last time I did that. I'll just lay on my sofa under a duvet til yon lassie comes back around...

Uhh

I have one small request, you stop saying 'yon lassie'?

All I really want is to return to the west coast of Sweden but I am am banned from there for OUTSTANDING CRIMINAL CHARGES. I mean, I could return, but they reckon they will arrest me if I do.

You're not c/o the Ecuadorean Embassy atm, are you?

i think there's a difference between 'dating' and getting mad your social worker (or whatever?) won't fuck you anymore but i'm old fashioned that way

^^^^

lol

i hope jonathan hellion mumble is just doing some ill advised schtick. if not, best of luck to you and please stay away from both sweden and that social worker.

UK terminology wd be "care worker" here as far as i can read it but y'know the other points stand

Yeah I think it says "personal assistant" on the contract but care worker is probably accurate. She works in the old peoples home the rest of the time. And there's nothing inappropriate about dating her, lots of people have their spouses/partners receiving money as official carers. The fact that she is only 21 is inappropriate to me tho that doesn't seem to bother her so much. Most days when she comes round I serenade her from the piano, which gets tough after a while cos I only know three chords and there aren't so many words that rhyme with her name, switching time signatures only covers up my deficiencies briefly.
I realised I miswrote in that last post, I meant "extradited", not "deported", does that make the situation any more acceptable? Everything I do is ill advised, but there is no schtick involved. Tho yon lassie that girl did laugh at me when I accidentally set myself on fire on Thursday. I'm sure she would have tried to extinguish me eventually if it had got out of hand. She is professional if nothing else.

Having someone you are in an established relationship with care for you is not the same as dating/sleeping with someone who is employed to care for you. A house-husband and a cleaner may perform the same tasks, but one is your spouse and one is your employee. Your ethical map may say it's okay, but don't be surprised if others disagree. Even without the ethics of the situation, it sounds like a recipe for nothing but distress on at least one side, probably both, and really really won't help you.

Sensible advice coming courtesy of someone who never does anything sensible, here.

Well, I was kinda in an "established relationship" with her, not like a romantic co-habiting relationship, but she was my drinking buddy and really my unpaid carer for like a year and a half, which is why I hired her, for the job interview I was looking for (in order) 1. someone I trust, 2. someone who is ok with cats, 3. someone who is ok with me smoking inside my tiny house. Most of the pre-designated carers I have had in the past have fell down on one or more of those criteria (and there have been a bunch, for some reason they kept quitting? One of them on his way out called me a "shallow-minded monster" and said that's why I'd never achieve anything in life. Imo THAT's the sort of carer I should be avoiding).
Oof, I have a feeling I will not be convincing any of youse on the wiseness of my path. But I shall probably continue down it anyway, cos when did I ever follow sensible advice? It is all appreciated nonetheless, mind.

I p much thought that's what you'd said but yknow ilx

it's going to make things worse if i say i was imagining you as ricky gervais in 'derek' which i watched one episode of because it was clear he was going to start some romance with the nice helper
sorry 4 judging

I have to get some thins off my chest, and I want to talk about my new (kinda) crush.

I've already had around 15 shots, today.

Here goes: The psychiatrist told my mom I have schizophrenia, ptsd, and depression. It's cool, but I don't think I have schizophrenia, or at least not much of it. I'm cool with the other two diagnoses, though. I've been to the mental hospital three or four times this year. I also have an alcohol problem. I normally wash my pills down with alcohol. I'm on Effexor, Paxil, Neurontin, and Risperidone. None of them do a fucking thing for me. I wish I could get benzos or lithium. But, I'm OK at hiding my mental illness, and I dress well, so psychiatrists don't always take my troubles seriously.

I have a crush on the girl, behind the counter, at the liquor store.

The time before last, I asked her what her tattoo said, she told me it said: "perfectly imperfect".
I know, don't judge.

I'm in a small town, though. This is what people are like.

She probably has a boyfriend.

I was there again today, and she said she hadn't seen me in a while. It seemed warm.

She turns me on, honestly.

So, next time: I'm thinking of making more small talk with her (like we already have), and being a little left-field and showing her my University ID and saying: "yeah, i drink a lot, but I went to a good school". (I went to an elite University). Maybe it will impress her. After that, and small talk, maybe I can slip her a small piece of paper with my number and full name (for Facebook)?

I don't know. She likes me platonically, but she probably has a boyfriend.
She really turns me on, honestly.

Anyway, even if she does have a boyfriend, I've been the other man a few times (I'm surprised I've not been killed yet), and I have a penchant for it.

So, next time I go to her liquor store, I'll have a good shave, haircut, and a nice sweater on. I'll show her my school ID during small talk, ask her more about her tattoos, and slip a note to her with my number and full name for Facebook.

I'm sure she'll contact me after that. But... It's... I don't know.

PS: I get away with things because I'm good-looking.

hey buddy we have a wdyll thread to figure out that kind of thing

I get away with things because I'm good-looking.

So you keep telling us.

Ha (xp)

Ignoring whether or not you should go for this girl (you have a drinking problem and she sells you booze -> this is probably not healthy), I should say that this -showing her my University ID and saying: "yeah, i drink a lot, but I went to a good school". (I went to an elite University) - is such a bad idea. You'll come across like an up-yourself douche. Bring up university if you want, but bring it up in conversation rather than flashing an emblem of it like that means something in itself. Where you went to university isn't important, what you got from it and what you're interested in is important. Does she study as well as work? What does she like?

its embarrassing but just be like i think your cute and seem cool would you like to go out with me? and see what she says? and if she says no then cool and if she says yes than even better

no defense.

i just think i can get away with it. (i'm gonna do it, next time).

i'm a fucking creep, and ill, but i have advantages.

i will probably not respond to the last few posts coherently, ever. but, i did read them.

thank you. especially emil.y

i'm a creep. i like talkin' though.

xpost.

umm. honestly. i can probably make friends with her, at least.
she's dumb and probably has a dumb boyfriend, though. :-/ it's a small, rural town.

whoah. i shouldn't have called her dumb.
she's cool by me.
i respect the fact that most people don't have an education like mine.

i'm drunk.

i'm not an asshole, but i am a jerk.

sorry.

im pretty sure you're an asshole, bud.

your alcohol problem sounds a lot worse than your dating problem

if shes a cashier at a liquor store in rural town she probably dngaf about where you went to school even if its like harvard or w/e. why would she? just ask her out.

Sober up first.

. . .

i was just thinking about this issue -- only so much in terms of dating, but in terms of being close to other people, or attempting to get close to other people

The thing about mental illness is that you are (or at least have been) living in this alternate version of reality in terms of your instincts, perceptions and judgments of other people. If you aren't aware that your reality is "suspect" then that's probably the first step to take. But even after you've acknowledged that, (and largely because of this), at least in my experience, you are reticent to impose your reality (your perceptions, your judgments) on other people in terms of "I think this person is this way, you should agree with me." Sometimes I have to clarify this and spell this out with close friends, because I think the standard thing is to want or expect agreement.

xpost to jim in glasgow: you are a garbage person. harass me again and i will flag your post.

i've had ~20 shots now. i know srahell dislikes, me as well.

we're all here. i assume we're all friends. you dumb jerks!

Effexor, Paxil, Neurontin, and Risperidone

i've had ~20 shots now.

I don't know you, but please take better care of yourself. Drinking while on these medications is very bad for your body and potentially very dangerous. whoever you are, you deserve the best care you can give yourself. please put yourself first for a while. I know that when we have other stuff in our way it can make self-care seem like the hardest thing, I know this personally, but please try.

yeah, we're not all friends here. it's not that i have any particular dislike for you, but i have had too many friends drink themselves to death already. therefore anybody who is actively engaged in drinking themselves to death is not my friend, particularly when there's really nothing at all i can do to prevent it.

good for you rushomancy, your "friends" really appreciated that, i'm sure

JCLC otm

right now I don't think you're in a place where you're going to figure out your romantic life. Please drink some water and get some rest, you'll be able to think about these things more clearly tomorrow. Call someone if you need help.