C/D: Howard the Duck (the movie)

The recent Howard comics written by Chip Zdarsky are great.

Never having read anything else about it beyond casual snipes, I imagine that Bill Chambers' take is still the best thing that has ever been written on the film.

That has got to be the most positive review that has ever been written about this film.

And it's still 2/5 or whatever.

I'm assuming I'm one of the few people here who went to the cinema to see this when it came out,

I had a friend in elementary school who already had a file cabinet full of comic books. In maybe '79 or '80, during less eventful school recesses, he'd recite the events of the Howard the Duck saga. I never handled his comics, they were all sealed in these plastic sleeves, and I just wasn't interested in characters in tights at the time.

I recall seeing this during its theatrical release, at an age of surging hormones, it gave me a life long crush on Leah Thompson. Otherwise, I don't recall any surprises, its seemed faithful to my second hand recollection.

This is a lot less fun than most of the other great bad movies... especially if you think the Spielberg-or-Lucas-produced-but-didn't-direct template isn't really that fantastic to start out with.

I just don't trust my younger self anymore.

Always worth remembering that this was the first movie based on a Marvel character. This.

Still stand by my post from thirteen years ago and am content to never revisit this movie again.

I'm assuming I'm one of the few people here who went to the cinema to see this when it came out

Before HTD opened in America, Marvel Comics UK booked the biggest screen at the Plaza cinema off Piccadilly Circus for a special preview for comics pros and people in the industry, to which I somehow blagged an invite. By the time the preview actually rolled round, the film had opened and stiffed in the US - Marvel UK still had to go ahead with the preview, but the whole atmosphere was like a wake as everyone soon realised the film really was as terrible as its American reception had suggested.

So it was Fowler than expected, is what you're saying.

I taped this off the TV when I was a kid and watched it a lot, so when I grew up I was very surprised to hear all the criticism, but I haven't gone back to see it with adult eyes.

For some reason I downloaded the soundtrack about 10 years ago though, and Hunger City has been an all-time jam for me since then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLMUTqlGNZ4

watched messiah of evil for the first time last week (recommended) and was amused to learn it was written by the HTD writing team of willard huyck and gloria katz.

huyck in duck-hyuck flop shock

the leading "plot keywords" for HTD on imdb are hilarious:

red panties | woman wearing panties | mini skirt | microskirt | nubile woman | See all (132)

I think you may find that you accidentally used the index rather than the middle finger of your left hand when typing in your search terms. Common mistake.

That’s a top track.

Always worth remembering that this was the first movie based on a Marvel character. This.

tbf it's been almost all downhill ever since

Glad someone else said it.

Ain't no kneejerk like an ILXor kneejerk cuz an ILXor kneejerk (makes jerkoff motion)

and you were so close to coining KNEEJERKOFF

in 2019 i'd rather have a conversation about this movie than another goddamn conversation about any other marvel movie

Hey did you know there's a new Marvel movie coming out next week.

(makes jerkoff motion)

is howard the duck in it?

post-credits cameo, portrayed by the unemployed-prankshow Stranger Things kid

If y'all are looking for something to direct your Hate Rays at for reasons other than 'it's popular and people like it and I'm literally nineteen years old and wearing a ripped Crass shirt rn' might I draw your attention to Kevin Smith's upcoming Howard the Duck cartoon series (yes, really).

*sound of steve gerber’s corpse hitting 10,000 rpm in the distance*

Lol @ ripped Crass shirt

if we're going to make completely inaccurate strawman caricatures of each other, I believe this is an actual photo of the time OL met Stan Lee
https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fdailyfunfactsblog.weebly.com%2Fuploads%2F3%2F1%2F0%2F2%2F31026779%2F9444000.jpg%3F1433592217&f=1

Doodle a week-old mac & cheese stain on the shirt and basically yeah.

Rewatched this today for the first time since I was, what, maybe nine?

If you haven't seen it before, you might be inclined to think that it garnered such awful reviews partly because making a movie about a talking duck was an ill-advised decision. But the fact that it's utterly terrible and almost completely without merit has basically nothing to do with its status as a movie about a talking duck. It's just...a total piece of shit. Like it's so completely shitty that you could almost believe that shittiness was the goal from the start. And it's not even enjoyably shitty. I'm the world's biggest sucker for enjoyable shittiness and can find the silver lining in most shitty movie clouds. But watching this will just make you feel bad. There is no fun to be had here except for Howard rocking out to the theme song as the end credits start to roll, a mere two hours after you made the stupid choice to press 'play'.

I think I figured out my least favorite 'joke' construction thanks to this movie. It's the one where somebody in a heightened and comically exasperated tone says 'Talk about your ___!' Aw, man, I got caught in the rain! Talk about a cold shower! What does that even mean? Are you supposed to laugh when that happens? I don't know, but it happened kind of a lot in this movie. Towards the end, Jeffrey Jones is like...blowing this powerful wind at Howard? I guess? I don't even know what the fuck was happening or why. And I look at the screen and say 'talk about your halitosis!' And then 2.5 seconds later, Howard, in the midst of a fight for his life, says 'talk about your bad breath!' And then my jaw dropped and I said '...fucking really? I hate you, movie.'

And I did. I really hated it so much.

almost completely without merit

https://img3.looper.com/img/gallery/the-real-reason-howard-the-duck-was-a-total-flop/whos-this-for-1519823787.jpg

I mention above how Hunger City, from the soundtrack, is a favorite song of mine. In the past year, somebody has uploaded the actual clip from the movie with the song in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOUei2sYKms

Lo and behold, "talk about a rotten day!" after he ends up getting thrown into a barrel.

LOL @ "talk about your" analysis, so true. in my mind it is closely related to the joke construction of somebody doing a thing, and saying "[person whos famous for doing that thing], eat your heart out!" something almost ritualistic or traditional about it, like things that the performer and the audience have some prior agreement as representing 'a joke' rather than an actual joke intended to elicit spontaneous laughter.

great way of framing it, OEO - feel like a lot of jokes i've never laughed at fall under this umbrella.

i did find this an enjoyably bad movie, but i think it helped a lot seeing it on a big screen - packed house, big room, with an inexplicable and gorgeous 70mm print. i can imagine watching at home by myself the groany jokes and general pointlessness would have made it hard to get through, instead of contributing to the shared experience.

It's the kind of hoary joke expression parodied with "I'd buy *that* for a dollar!" or "wha' happened?!" Or, I guess, the original "Take my wife ... " joke.

I honestly think the big budget production values are what ultimately tipped this into full-bore shittiness. I might've been willing to forgive a lot more of this turd if it wasn't so overpolished. And with that weird-ass, discordantly-whimsical John Barry score trilling in the background like I was watching some heartwarming '80s family movie about two lovable scamps learning the true meaning of Arbor Day or something.

There's something about the presentation of trash qua trash which has aesthetic merit, which can be appreciated on its own level. And there's something about putting a coat of lacquer and a handful of glitter on a pile of trash and dropping it in the middle of a gallery floor that overemphasizes its trashiness, which casts excessive glare on its flaws. And if, as in this case, its flaws are already deep and abiding and almost an insult to civilization and goodness, then you've got a real mess on your hands.

It's the kind of hoary joke expression parodied with "I'd buy *that* for a dollar!" or "wha' happened?!" Or, I guess, the original "Take my wife ... " joke.

It possibly looked good on paper, in the vein of a repeating joke that builds and builds, like "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit..." from "Airplane"? That's the best I can come up with anyway.

I think it basically boils down to someone with no demonstrable ability to construct a joke writing a script which is filled with things that look to him like jokes. It's like...I know remarkably little about sports, so if I decided to write a film about sports and didn't get the assistance of someone who does know about sports, it would probably turn out like something that was written by really dumb aliens and everyone who saw the movie would hate me and they would be right for hating me.

Re: Airplane you always are taking the risk when your approach is "throw a gag at the wall every five seconds and hope most of them stick" that... none of them will stick. That doesn't fully account for Howard the Duck's perfect awfulness, but it's part of it.

n........? sfw

I learned from this movie that mammals and birds are basically the same thing.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to the tiny condom that Howard keeps, unwrapped, in his wallet. It's a detail whose inclusion in the narrative was entirely necessary.

They should have had a scene where Howard finds out how long duck penises are on our planet and had a mental breakdown from the resultant inadequacy.

and then spread the resultant inadequate duck penis in between two intact duck penises?

The revive of this thread somehow caused me to rewatch this movie, which I saw as a child and of which I retained only vague memories. It took me a few days to get through it. It is uniquely terrible, but it is redeemed in my eyes by the performance of Jorli McLain as Crystal, the waitress at the Cajun Sushi diner.

https://media-af-photos.ancientfaces.com/442/1350244/1350244-small.jpg

She has only two other screen credits. She was in "Under Cover" (1987). I wouldn't mind seeing this, but it seems the only way available is to track down a used VHS, which I am not prepared to do.

Her final screen credit is an episode of "thirtysomething". Here's her scene - she has one line at the very end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKvmiLdnnFk

She then went on to invent and successfully market a head massager with her partner, Wendy Robbins. This is from The Advocate, 2003:

https://i.imgur.com/ccGfZWo.jpg

She died in 2010.

Howard the Juggerduck

https://preview.redd.it/eyyk538qkx711.jpg

https://i.redd.it/eyyk538qkx711.jpg