YOU PLAY. TO WIN. THE GAME. Request and offer FANTASY FOOTBALL advice HERE

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Tiki absolutely crushed me.

goddam Kansas City. Hank Stram might be my all-time fave NFL "personality", I watched the Montana MNF game, I cried when Derrick Thomas died ( I really did, only he and Walter have ever evoked that response), always been a fan of every small market NFL team (even despite the fact that Lamar Hunt tried to steal the Turkey - day game from my beloved Lions --- That's *OUR* annual national embarrassment Lamar, you putz ), rooted for ex-Wolverine Elvis Grbac when he was the QB ... but fuck it, I have absolutely HAD IT w/ KC!!! will never root for you fuxx again!! learn how to tackle!!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Monday, 19 December 2005 07:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I was offered Shaun Alexander for Priest Holmes the week before the season started. I turned it down.

I lost Priest to injuries and Westbrook to injuries/underusage. I lost Terrell Owens to him being stupid. I dropped Aaron Brooks, who I picked fifth. This was the core of my team. Heartbreaking stuff!

So naturally I led from start to finish and have a great chance to win my two playoff games as well. Go figure.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 19 December 2005 08:12 (eighteen years ago) link

All my hopes and dreams rest on Todd "Uriah" Heap. I need him to have a Chris Cooley-like game to have any chance of winning. ugh.

Here's hoping that he finds "easy livin'" against the Packers D.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Monday, 19 December 2005 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

I've got Chet Taylor and Donald Driver. My opponent has B.J. Sams, Adalius Thomas, and Ryan Longwell. I'm up twenty points.

So to all you degenirate non-gamblers out there grumbling about what a crummy MNF game this is tonight, FEEL FREE TO WATCH "dEAL OR nO dEAL".

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

guhhhh my weird postseason fantasy luck continues WTF

― j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:45 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha -- there's ONE!!

Now just gimme two more Heap!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 02:17 (eighteen years ago) link

that's TWO baby!!

Gimme one more Heap!

Don't be stealin when you shoulda been buying!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 03:56 (eighteen years ago) link

oh wait, actually with yardage I already won! kick-ass.

I am going to celebrate by listening to Uriah Heep's Return to Fantasy lp, as Todd Heap has single-handedly RETURNED me to the fantasy playoff picture!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 04:20 (eighteen years ago) link

And I asked Gado, "Samkon, sometimes there is only one set of footprints in the sand, in my most trying times. Where were you when I needed you?"
And Gado said "That, my son, is when I got carted out in the motherfucking first quarter with a cheapjack injury. Enjoy the consolation rounds!"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:12 (eighteen years ago) link

your team was clearly better than mine, but i'll take it. any given monday night, man....

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Could someone explain how this works? I really want to be involved next season but fr obvious reasons I have exactly zero cultural exposure to this - there's a fantasy draft, right, and everyone puts out 15? 30? players, and then plays matches against each other with whoever scores the most winning? Is there a sort of playoffs, or does the league winner just win?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Fantasy draft, yes. Number of players varies depending on what sort of a league you play in. You can only play a preset number of players in each position; the league we're discussing fields one qb, three wr, 2 rb, 1 kicker, 1 team defense, 2 DB. and 2 DL. There's about 5(?) bench players that can fit any position. The first 14 weeks are all about placement and seeding for the playoffs, with the top eight seeds playing 1/8, 2/7, etc. The final three weeks of the season are the playoffs.
Which I just lost. Spectacularly.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

There aren't byes? Harsh!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 17:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, you have to rejigger your team around whoever's bye week is up. It's a pain, but can lead to some upsets.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 19:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I made the Championship game! My opponent had to bench Peyton Manning! You'd think that I'd be feeling like I'm in the catbird seat, but I'm wondering if Mark Clayton needs to stay in the line-up, should I put Kevin Curtis back in since the Rams might be letting their third-stringers back out, should I really consider dropping Edgerrin James in favor of Dominic Rhodes????

It's the last game of the season. I either win $15 or $265 with my decisions.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 20:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Money!?

I am pretty hyped about this now. Who're the championship games between?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 23:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Money in my league. I'm not involved with the ILNFLFFL.

But for what it's worth, I'm up against Wild Bill Ivy.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 23:55 (eighteen years ago) link

That Wild Bill!

Good luck.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

I cannot accept GOOD LUCK. Good luck is not something that one can distribute nor recieve. GOOD LUCK is not interchangable. Thank you for the kind wishes nonetheless. http://www.khuang.com/chinese/images/sent1.gif http://www.khuang.com/chinese/images/sent1.gif http://www.khuang.com/chinese/images/sent1.gif

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:34 (eighteen years ago) link

(Don't ever say those two words to a degenerate gambler such as myself.)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:35 (eighteen years ago) link

;-)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I am in the finals this week and I will not be starting any of my top nine picks because I've dropped them or they're injured. :/

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Saturday, 24 December 2005 17:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Plains, do you go to TUNICA MISSISSISSIPPI for entertainment?

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 24 December 2005 19:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Not so much for ENTERTAINMENT, but for AMUSEMENT.

There's a Carribbean Stud dealer with a glass eye at the Horseshoe that I'm still plotting my revenge on.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 24 December 2005 19:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh... take him out on his blind side.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 24 December 2005 20:06 (eighteen years ago) link

alright ... I don't know how it happened but I am *down* 5 points going into MNF (oh, I know how it happened -- bastard I am playing had the Pittsburgh D; thanks for nothing Cleveland!!)

I've got Tom Brady, but he's got Clinton Portis ... just need Brady to score 1 more TD than Portis .. should be a fun next 3 hours...

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 27 December 2005 02:05 (eighteen years ago) link

whoops, obv I meant Corey Dillon not Portis. don't mind me, too much eggnog.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 27 December 2005 02:14 (eighteen years ago) link

well fuck all that mess. I had a nice run though. Thanks again Cleveland! I hate you forever and ever!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 27 December 2005 04:30 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah I feel that way
about Kerry Collins or
I'd-a beat my bro

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 27 December 2005 05:16 (eighteen years ago) link

My team lost somewhere in the area of 150-3, so I suppose second place will have to suffice.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 27 December 2005 07:19 (eighteen years ago) link

omg I think
I'm in the championship
this is too bizarre

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 27 December 2005 14:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I was in the championship game. The winner got $300. Second place got $50.

The score was Pleasant Plains - 150.27, PP's Opponent - 151.63.

Vinny Testeverde is going to get the shit knocked out of him if I ever see him. Had New England not allowed that final touchdown on MNF...

Anyway. You'll have to excuse me. Think that I'll go buy a set of steak knives with my lousy fifty bucks.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 07:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Vinny Testeverde is going to get the shit knocked out of him if I ever see him.
Now, now. Don't pick on the elderly.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 15:47 (eighteen years ago) link

YOU PLAY. TO WIN. THE THREE HUNDRED.
YOU DON'T PLAY TO WIN THE FITTY! YOU PLAY TO WIN THE THREE HUNDRED!!

― truck-patch pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link

aw yeah

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 2 January 2006 06:37 (eighteen years ago) link

congrats, duder.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 2 January 2006 18:53 (eighteen years ago) link

a. LUCKY
b. Matchups
c. lucky

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 2 January 2006 20:07 (eighteen years ago) link

congrats to the Nym!

Don't spend it all in one place!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 02:50 (eighteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://msn.foxsports.com/fantasy/story/5243380

I had three of these guys, and one of the bum defenses. I'll say it again, lucky lucky lucky.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 20 January 2006 19:22 (eighteen years ago) link

seven months pass...

This makes awesome reading now I understand it!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 2 September 2006 22:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Good times, good times.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 3 September 2006 01:03 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

Hmm... Cadillac Williams vs. Philadelphia or take a flyer on Maurice Jones-Drew at Houston, where if the Jags get up early they'll be running all day?

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Sunday, 22 October 2006 15:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Williams is due, but smart money is on the Jags.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 22 October 2006 15:41 (seventeen years ago) link

My other options: T Bell and C Dillon. I'm starting Bell and MJD and crossing my fingers.

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Sunday, 22 October 2006 15:50 (seventeen years ago) link

MJD was my best post-draft pick up this year!

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Sunday, 22 October 2006 15:51 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm so pissed at myself for trading C. Dillon. I didn't even get a sack of magic beans.

― The Bearnaise-Stain Bears (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 22 October 2006 15:57 (seventeen years ago) link

Dillon just scored his second TD of the first quarter. I must admit I'm not looking too bright right now.

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Sunday, 22 October 2006 16:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Fucking hell.

On the bright side, Heath Miller just caught a TD pass, and I don't ever count on TE points.

― The Bearnaise-Stain Bears (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 22 October 2006 16:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Ugh ugh ugh. I've got Harringtong (waht was I htinking) and JP Loseman geddit? as my QBs, both are on bye next week, which one should I drop?

― c('°c) (Leee), Sunday, 22 October 2006 17:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Drop Harrington and pick up Brunell.

I wish I had the TB defense today, damn!!

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Sunday, 22 October 2006 18:04 (seventeen years ago) link

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