your terrible ideas

some sort of parody of "let's marvin gaye and get it on" that goes "let's david gray and babylon", this song would be about doing something boring

haha

I was listening to music on shuffle while with my kids and suddenly Lana Del Rey's "Fucked my way to the top" started playing. I started imagining a slightly more kid friendly version of this song called "Hugged my way to the top".

a flashmob of people all going into starbucks and giving the same name.

(because using a single name as a unique id is obviously insufficient)

A series of NFL-themed all-male bukkake films called MAN COVERAGE where the receiver wears one team's uniform and the 11 ejaculators all wear an another team's.

My combinatronics math is not good but I feel like there would be an astronomical number of pairings of teams (32!, perhaps? that doesn't seem right).

31 + 30 + 29 + ... + 1

n * (n - 1) / 2

32 * 31 / 2

496

Are you working out optimal tip-to-tip efficiency?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMeqEDEfniA

goddammit you beat me to it

a music video for Joni Mitchell's "Ray's Dad's Cadillac" in which teenagers destroy their asshole stepdad's Cadillac in slow motion

I was sitting on the bus this morning, and as well as it being equipped with CCTV, it also had a screen showing the image from each CCTV camera in sequence. Terrible idea: a Chatroulette style link up where the screen shows images from cameras in other buses.

I enjoy playing the fun game of "drink as much booze as you can before the camera switches back to you". Recommended for whiling away long night bus journeys.

A series of NFL-themed all-male bukkake films called MAN COVERAGE where the receiver wears one team's uniform and the 11 ejaculators all wear an another team's.

this is not a terrible idea.

t-shirts for the more experienced amongst us that say ALT! in the same style as those NEU! t-shirts

I don't know if there's a better thread for this, but I was just thinking it would be cool if some band convinced Goldman Sachs to let them shoot a band photo in their offices (instead of another boring "gritty" location shot), and then I took it a step further and thought, why not just have Lloyd Blankfein in the photo, as though he's in the band, but not dressed any differently than he normally would or posing like a rock star, just Lloyd Blankfein in his suit, standing naturally.

A liposuction clinic called ¡Adipose Amigos!

An all-Asian Asia cover band called Asian

Band-management simulation game where you play the role of an industry hack trying to steer an ambitious but under-talented 80s ballad-rocker through the stormy seas of the 1990s. Will he go grunge? Settle down into an adult-contemporary role? Collaborate with positive-minded rappers? You'll decide in... Command Winger!

Haha, would play

a mobile phone with an e-cigarette built in - one less thing to carry.

ahem

https://vaporcade.com/jupiter/

great minds think alike, obv.

"We have worked tirelessly to integrate texting, talking, and vaping into one spectacular, innovative technology. The applications are limitless. We feel that Jupiter will change the world as we know it."

o rly?

I feel like they went over most of the applications in that previous sentence

A selfie selfie stick, which will allow users to take a selfie of themselves taking a selfie.

OMG @ that cellular vaping device. "We have worked tirelessly to integrate vaping, eating, lawn mowing, gargling, Skyping, and wok cookery into one spectacular, innovative technology."

I had the vapephone terrible idea a couple of months back and all of my (two) vaping friends said they would buy one.

The thing that's really terrible about it is that phone batteries barely last the day as it is without you also using them to boil nicotine (or whatever the fuck ecigs do).

a theater troupe of dogs called The Dramatic Paws

hahah

My wife and I were saying how we didn't know of a Jewish female kids' cartoon character, and we came up with Shoshana, Esq., who sues Doc McStuffins for medical malpractice.

just off the top of my head the Rugrats are Jewish, feel like i'm missing someone else big

oh yeah true, although when was rugrats last on the air? I guess we were thinking more in terms of stuff my daughters would watch.

I don't know if all the characters were but at least one or two were, hence the passover special

Rugrats Passover is important viewing.

skimming the wiki, i guess tommy, his mom, and her parents (the grandpa/grandma characters) are jewish, and the rest of the cast aren't?

Chuckie, his father Chas and the DeVille twins, Phil and Lil, meanwhile, were portrayed as nonreligious yet inclusive and enthused to learn about the customs of the holiday.

i've also read some pretty interesting stuff that makes a strong case that betty boop is jewish; there are lots of hebrew-language jokes (like, hebrew letters and words appearing onscreen), and one of her early shorts revolves around having uptight immigrant parents who don't support betty's boopish lifestyle, and they are rendered pretty clearly as eastern european jews. i realize this does not really pass the "stuff my daughters would watch" test.

see Holberg, Amelia. "Betty Boop: Yiddish Film Star."American Jewish History. no. 4 (1999): 291-312. the cartoon i was thinking of is "minnie the moocher" (indeed with cab calloway, and a great short).

A cover version of Leonard Cohen's 'The Future' sung to the tune of 'Hallelujah' in the style of Jeff Buckley.

Cover of ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" that goes "every girl's crazy bout a half-mast flag!" To be deployed during post-terrorism situations.

a re-working of the lyrics of jeremih's "don't tell 'em" that would change the subject to santa's reindeer. sample:

rhythm is a dancer / pulls the sleigh with prancer / vixen's helping out there too.

soulsearch.com, an evangelical christian search engine that honors the lord EVERY day

― i've a cozy little flat in what is known as old man hat (Hurting 2), Monday, April 1, 2013 12:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the time is ripe:
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/today_s_google_doodle_celebrates_evolution_so_christian_conservatives_threaten_boycott

i think i realized tnite what led ben carson to make his comments about the pyramids being grain silos. he probably believes the common misconception that the jews built the pyramids. in the OT it says that the jewish slaves built the cities of pithom and ramses which various commentators describe as storehouse cities. is it giving him too much credit to think he probably conflated this misconception w/ this [ime] popular bible translation?

Dr. Carson's been on Level 1 with us this whole time:

http://i.imgur.com/1iwj5Tj.jpg

my theory is he got his history of egyptian cereals from this guy

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8a/Yummy_Mummy_cereal_box.png

A tv show called Only Fools, Not Horses.

It would be a candid camera style show where people would run out on to the street thinking "oh! a horse!" but actually it was just someone clapping together 2 coconut halves.

They always talk about putting the carrot in front of the horse, but what if the horse is the carrot for the man.

man, they're always talking about putting the carrot in front of the horse, and then always running outside whenever they think they hear something that might be a horse. they are obsessed with horses!

new terrible idea: Horseloving Whisperers, a show where people whisper about how much they love horses

A lifesize plastic reindeer head with antlers and glowing red nose for attaching to the front of your bicycle during the festive season.

they do similar beasties for those ubiquitous micro scooters so it shouldn't be too hard.

http://www.micro-scooters.co.uk/scooter-heads-and-a-monkey.html

that said, a front-facing red light might be illegal.