Kids say the darndest things

I've watched Poltergeist a few times since 1982 and some of it's cheesy now, like the giant face popping out of the closet. But the build-up is still epically scary (the way those storm clouds roll in!); the meat/eroding face thing remains creepy; and the corpses in the swimming pool, yuck.

My daughter has already snuck in a few "dammit"s this morning, it looks like we're headed for trouble here, with the conservative mother-in-law coming to stay with us for a week starting tomorrow.

some of it's cheesy now, like the giant face popping out of the closet.

ok ok stfu please i'm not ready yet, oh god.

I will show mercy and not embed this image

http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/poltergeist-clown-3.jpg

oh shit I'd forgotten about the clown

My daughter has already snuck in a few "dammit"s this morning, it looks like we're headed for trouble here, with the conservative mother-in-law coming to stay with us for a week starting tomorrow.

yeah this is a major problem, you don't want to go "don't say that, never say that" cuz that guarantees she will say it whenever she wants to get a rise out of you

when my son was 3 or 4 we were in the bathroom, he was washing his hands and I was whizzing. he glanced over and casually remarked "nice big penis, dad."

things always look bigger when you're a child

yeah we laughed at it yesterday (big mistake) but ignored it this morning and so I'm hoping if we watch our mouths for a while we'll be ok long-term. She's still a mumbler so you have to pay attention to catch the cussing. We're in that hard transition between when you could say anything when the kid is around and figure it won't make a serious impression, to when everything seems to stick.

xpost hell yeah, I've been there too

My wife is about to give birth. Her C-section's scheduled for Monday, but honestly, she could go at any minute. So last night we were all driving home from somewhere and she was moaning about her discomfort and my six-year-old goes:

"I want to bleed beautiful blood! I want to be pregnant in pain!"

My six-year-old son. : )

haaaaaa

good luck btw!

Thank you. I was doing pretty well until yesterday, but now I am extremely stressed out. I would like to fast-forward a couple of days, seriously.

what's up, ugly girls?

Zac, myself and 3 yr old Julia went to an apple orchard the other day and picked from trees of several different varieties, so at some point one of us referred to the "Empire apples". as we soon found out, Julia apparently heard "VAMPIRE apples" !! and maybe it makes us bad parents, but so far we're way too amused to correct her.

Oh yeah, when they're that young and they make cute little mistakes like that, in most cases it's okay to let it slide for a while.

Howie (after a small accident the other day): "Mummy take off my trants and pousers!"

Listen, this thread totally slept on "optical course." I'm telling ya.

i once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 9:54 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

^^^winner

haw I saw this thread bumped and wondered if I'd shared that here before.

2 yr old farted last night "hehehe i fahhted, do it again time"

lol

Owen got up from his nap yesterday feeling cranky, so Ben went over to him, sat down, and said "Owen - tell your feelings to me."

A: mummy, are you happy?
Me: well, I'm a bit tired and grumpy
A: but I want you to be happy. Are you happy?
Me: why do you want me to be happy?
A: I want you to be my friend

Poor love, I had to explain to him that my happiness wasn't directly related to how I felt towards him, that I could be unhappy but still loved him and was his friend :0(

2 yr old farted last night "hehehe i fahhted, do it again time"

love the boston accent

He just prank-called me:

"Dad, there's a man here who ... Mom-Mom wants to speak to you."
"Oh, okay buddy, why don't you put Mom-Mom on the phone?"
"YO MOMMA YO MOMMA YO MOMMA...HA HA HA HA HA! I GOT YOU!"

Owen: "I tried the salsa!"

Ben: "You mean like a flying salsa?"

hey he is from worcester, same thing Tracer!

My Wife: The 40s are not ancient-history.

My 9-Year Old: Of course they are. The 70s are ancient-history.

My not-quite-2 yo daughter and my wife are "gorls" and I am a "bee". I always buzz when she says this, which makes my wife frown.

3-year-old Alice [sounding alarmed]: I'm growing out of my body!

And on the way home today:
A: can we go to the shop and buy some lollipops?
Me: do you have any money?
A: no.
Me: well, we can't buy lollipops if we haven't got any money.
A: can we first go to the money shop and buy some money, then?

Smart Alice!!

I read through this thread for the first time the other day and "Nice big penis, Dad" may be one of the funniest things ever. omg.

Our Alice (and our Amber) get amused by the stories of what they said when they were little..

One of the killer ones:

It was Easter, and Alice (about three) was doing a drawing of something which looked fairly random, inside an oval.
My Mum: "Oh, is that an Easter Egg"
Alice: "Yes"
Mum: "That's nice, so is that the Easter Bunny inside"
Alice: "No, it's a crocodile"
Mum: "Oh right." (thinks: OK, crocs do come out of eggs, so..) (points to a jagged line

oops:

Mum: "Oh right." (thinks: OK, crocs do come out of eggs, so..) (points to a jagged line) "Yes, I can see his teeth there."
Alice (loudly) :"THAT'S HIS BLANKET!!"

My mum has to leave the room to avoid ROTFWLaughing)

"No Ben. Transformers aren't animals; they're robots. That's why they do lots of stuff and transform."

Howie (while stroking Archie's hair): "Archie, you are the most beautiful Archie I've EVER seen!"

omg awwww

too cute!

3 year old logic is great. Aidan wouldn't come with us to the scan so we showed him the (rubbish) pics when we got back but he wanted to see the baby. I explained he couldn't see it as it was in mummy's tummy, his reply was "take it out mummy, I want to see it!"

hahahahaha amazing - also, congratulations!

Henry: "AhhhhBah! AhhhhhhbBah!"
Beeps: "You can say that again!!"

Beeps: "Mommy! You're hair is getting lighter!"
Me: "I know!"
Beeps: "But why?"
Me: "I don't know"
Beeps: "Maybe it will keep getting lighter and lighter"
Me: "Maybe. Maybe it will look like it did before (Blonde). Did you like it like that?"
Beeps: "Yeah because when its light little children can wake up inside it!"
Me: "Little children???"
Beeps: "Yeah"
Me: "What does that mean??
Beeps: "*sigh* I don't know!!"

hahahahaha

*sigh*

it's hard work, bein little

hahaha

I can't get over this, but Henry at 13-months is saying "Thank you" in a very low-key sort of way. He's been going Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma and Da-da-da-da-da for some time now, but these are actual words with an applied meaning. And it's "Thank you."

For comparison's sake, my first words were "Leave me alone" and Beeps' was "Uh-oh." Don't know what sunny's was, probably "Another Weetabix please" or something.

i was with a couple of little kids last weekend and one of them, a girl, was playing with her plastic toy computer. and she looks up at me with a pained expression and whines:

"it says it's not connected to the internet but i know that it is!!"

testify, sister

Owen made Ben spill his water, and we got angry at him. He then sulked over to my wife and gave her a hug.

Owen: "I'm not hugging you; you're hugging me, because you yelled at me."

Veronica: "oh shit I want some hummus"