Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

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Sterling is 10 months old and AWESOME. Here he is, doing some art appreciation (a Donald Judd at MOMA in NYC):

More pics at http://www.sterlingwolk.com .

He's still nursing up a storm, and is also very enthusiastic about basically every solid food we've given him. When we make something without dairy/soy/nuts, we grind some up in a food mill and give it to him; he likes to eat what we eat. Hasn't yet figured out the sippy cup. Very interested in walking, and pulls up on everything, but isn't up to cruising yet. Very VERY interested in talking, and has no words yet but a wide assortment of phonemes, which he often arrays into a lecture.

The one really big issue is sleep. He sleeps between us, and will not go to sleep until at least midnight, sometimes later--if we try to take him to bed before he's good & ready, it's Party Time!!!, and he freaks out completely if he finds himself awake and alone in his crib. (If he nurses to sleep and we put him in the crib, we have a window of maybe eight minutes tops before he opens his eyes for a second, realizes we aren't there, and screeches inconsolably. Self-soothing? Forget it.) Anecdotal suggestions are welcome.

Lisa & I both work at home, so at least one of us is with him all the time (although we are talking to some people who might watch him 5-10 hours a week). As you can imagine, this has decimated our productivity...

Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 27 January 2006 17:42 (eighteen years ago) link

douglas, that picture is fantastic!

stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 27 January 2006 17:45 (eighteen years ago) link

This is a side benefit of Sterling's mama being a professional photographer.

Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 27 January 2006 17:46 (eighteen years ago) link

sterling is going to be an edgy style mag POPSTAR before you know it.

stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 27 January 2006 17:49 (eighteen years ago) link

i love the moma photo. i take Z to moma and the met pretty regularly, i get in free with my work ID and they're nice stroller-friendly places.

ah, the bedtime issue. we struggle with this too, although in our case it's mostly our (or my) fault -- i work evenings, mostly, so i don't go to bed until 2 or 3 myself, and Z's kind of gotten on my schedule. he'll stay up til 1 some nights, and the earliest we ever get him down is 11. of course, i don't want him to go to bed too early, because i prefer to sleep until 10 or so myself. it's a bit of a conundrum. but the key for us is nap management -- he needs a nap (occasionally two), but we need to try to get it done in midafternoon. if he gets to dinnertime w/out a nap, we're in trouble.

on moving him into the crib, what we do is let him fall asleep with one of us (usually my wife, since she goes to bed first), and then move him into the crib once he's completely conked out. he'll stay there for anywhere from an hour to (sometimes) all night. if he wakes up crying while i'm still up, i'll just rock him for a few minutes until he goes back to sleep and put him back in the crib. if he wakes up when both of us are already in bed, we just pull him into the bed for the rest of the night. at least he's getting used to the idea of being in the crib, even if he doesn't love it.

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 27 January 2006 17:50 (eighteen years ago) link

We usually get Ava to bed between 7:30 and 8:30pm; unless she's already out on her feet (which is unusual), she makes a fuss about being put to bed. There are generally three levels of fuss-making - low (soothed by pacifier, a favourite toy and some hair-stroking/lullabying from ma or pa), medium (soothed by a good 150ml glug on the SMA), high (this will involve singing, cuddling, letting her pad around in the semi-dark of her room and about 12 abortive attempts to turn the hall light off). The last of these has been far more frequent since the onset of teething; very occasionally it's an evening's work just to get her down.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:14 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm hoping to transition the boy out to a bassinet at least and maybe the crib sometime between 3 and 6 months, when he's more his own person but hasn't really developed habits yet, and when he's only waking up once a night for food. We'll see how that goes. I like sleeping with him but I'm sure the sleeping in one position is wreaking havoc on my neck.

teeny (teeny), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:16 (eighteen years ago) link

I was worried that sleep deprivation would drive me nuts but it's not too bad, the baby hormones take care of a lot of it. Seeing those pretty eyes or a smile in the middle of the night takes away your crankiness.

teeny (teeny), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:18 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread is fascinating. I can't wait to have my own ILX baby in a few years.
P.S. I spy some Sterling + cat pics, Jeanne.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:28 (eighteen years ago) link

I remember sleeping a lot of nights in a recliner, with a baby snuggled against my chest. Probably many afternoons too! I was afraid to have the little ones in the bed, because it was a waterbed, and I could imagine all kinds of horrible accidents. Both kids adjusted well to cribs and their own beds, though I do remember the 8 - 12 months timeframe being one of not wanting to miss out on anything, stubbornly resisting sleep.

One of the best things we did was keep the house noise level fairly constant, music and talking at normal levels during the day regardless of whether they were sleeping or not and a white noise generator at night.

Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:31 (eighteen years ago) link

when they first start smiling is AWESOME. And not much can exceed the joy of when you pick them up from someplace and they come running, so excited to see you.

we're moving the baby out of our room next week at 9 weeks. She's sleeping from 11pm to 6 or 7 am so it's time. Sleeping with your kids is great but a very hard habit to break. I'm more of the opinion that it's MY room and OUR bed (I don't need extra excuses for not getting laid.)

I'm pretty anal about getting kids on a regular schedule...gypsy, there's just no way I could deal with my little ones if they stayed up that late at night! The white noise generators are nice...UNTIL YOU FORGET THEM WHEN YOU GO OUT OF TOWN.

(and congrats to you Teeny and all other parents!)

don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

The white noise generators are nice...

In a hotel no-white-noise emergency: radio set to static. Not quite the same, but sufficient in a pinch.

Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Self-soothing? Forget it.

We put our boy in the crib with a bottle of water (my wife did not breastfeed though). And the sucking on liquid (was never interested in the pacifier) puts him to sleep in minutes. Otherwise, he'd be screaming. I don't know if this move is suggested by the experts though. Also, at one point my son would wake up every morning around 3:30 or 4am wanting a bottle, though the dr. told us he didn't really need a bottle considering what he was getting during the day. When my wife went on a business trip, I did the ol' tough love for three nights and he really hasn't woken up early for a bottle since. So regrettably, at some point, maybe you'll just need to let him cry. Though if he's genuinely not tired, that's something I'm not too familiar with.

not much can exceed the joy of when you pick them up from someplace and they come running, so excited to see you.

So true!

mcd (mcd), Friday, 27 January 2006 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

One of the best things we did was keep the house noise level fairly constant, music and talking at normal levels during the day regardless of whether they were sleeping or not

OTM, U&K!!!

Congrats Don on your new bebeh and to ILXor spawning in general. This thread is saving my sanity and heart after a really suck-ass week.

truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 27 January 2006 19:33 (eighteen years ago) link

not much can exceed the joy of when you pick them up from someplace and they come running, so excited to see you.

yeah, for me it's how excited he gets whenever i or my wife come home. he also gets excited for his nanny and his occupational therapist (a side benefit for preemies, in new york state at least -- they tend to qualify for a lot of developmental coaching). lately he's been applauding enthusiastically when people walk in the door. it's nice to get an ovation just for coming home.

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 27 January 2006 19:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Just checking into this excellent thread - mine is 5, but will be 6 tomorrow, as she reminds me every 20 minutes.

ratty, Friday, 27 January 2006 20:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I beg your indulgence.

One day old, already world-weary:

Showing off her favorite new playground bruises and her new kitten, Zippy (who is old and crotchety, but with us still):

truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 27 January 2006 20:50 (eighteen years ago) link

I think Ava may just be getting the hang of the sippy cup - up until now it's been a case of eagerly grabbing the thing, taking a swig and smiling as the water just runs down her chin and shirt. She's actually swallowing now.

The giddy joy on her face when I get home in the evenings does happily obliterate any amount of accumulated work/public transport stress.

Oh, and the other great thing about Saturdays - lying in bed listening to her on the baby monitor go through her whole babbling/singing repetoire at 7-8am before she starts to get a bit more urgent in her vocalisation and it's time to mash up some banana and muesli. Every day there's a new phrase or vocal trick - "What is that?! I've never heard her do that before."

Right now she's been down for about 45mins (it was a "low" fuss tonight) and she's doing the occasional long sigh in her half-sleep state. I wish I could embed a little MP3 or something...

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 27 January 2006 21:24 (eighteen years ago) link

What books do 2 yr olds like/understand/enjoy, etc? Which books are your kiddies' favorites (even if they are not 2 yr olds)? Starting next week I will be taking over the "Time for Two's" story program at the library.

Mary (Mary), Friday, 27 January 2006 21:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I wish I had enough time to respond/comment on every post.

Briefly: son, Adrian, roughly 1.5 years. Latest development: has suddenly become confident enough in his walking skills to no longer look where he's going, and naturally there has been a sudden upsurge in collisions with most things pain-causing. First ten months almost exactly like Sterling's. Amazingly hasn't had anything worse than a runny nose.

Taken on Halloween:

http://www.jodeeandy.com/ajk/051013.JPG

Andy_K (Andy_K), Friday, 27 January 2006 21:40 (eighteen years ago) link

'Sup li'l duder.

Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 27 January 2006 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus and the follow up The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog by Mo Willems are faves.

xpost

mcd (mcd), Friday, 27 January 2006 21:42 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG, Douglas, the flying bunny picture is f*cking outrageously hilarious. And yes, you win for the cat + Sterling.

Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Friday, 27 January 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

nasty = a sippy cup of milk that has fermented in the summer of your car for a week.

don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

andy and rock, those are great. (someday i'll post pics of fouler moods -- those are pretty entertaining too...)

our kid loves books, sometimes to pieces. we're currently on our second copy of "8 silly monkeys" (jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head, etc...). but he'll sometimes sit for 15 minutes at a stretch, flipping his way through a book, turning it upside down and flipping back, etc. when he wants to be actually read to, he'll bring one to us. apart from "8 Silly Monkeys" he likes "goodnight moon" (of course), "the fox went out on a chilly night" (because i sing it to him, to the burl ives tune), and really anything with bright colors and moving parts (we have a couple of pop-up type things).


xpost: Z can do the sippy cup, but he's not too into it. he's more interested in just regular cups, but the problem of course is after one or two gulps (half of which careen down his shirt), he just dumps the whole thing out. so i only really let him do that in the bath.

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I'll be having a boy (Anthony Ian) at the end of June. We learned the sex yesterday. We were so convinced it was a girl that it was a bit of a shock. Now we have to decide about circumcision, egads.... (yes I've read the ILX circumcision threads, no they didn't help). I'm looking forward to having a son with a mix of fear and excitement. I know it'll be fine though.

kyle (akmonday), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

we weren't gonna do circumcision, because it seems unnecessary, but then he got a couple of urinary infections while he was still in intensive care and they told us circumcision could reduce the risk of that somewhat -- and at that point we would've agreed to anything to give him better odds. so they did it, it healed pretty quickly, and i don't think he was traumatized much (certainly less by that than by everything else they had to do with him in the icu).

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

(and congratulations, kyle.)

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

we did not circumcise, which puts us in a small minority in midwest USA. It just seems like a lot to put such a tiny fellow through. My husband looked at it as possible small risk in future (for UTI, cancer, non-retraction) vs definite pain and possible small risk (for complication) now. We're both quite happy with our decision. His bits are beyond adorable.

teeny (teeny), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:39 (eighteen years ago) link

also who knew changing diapers could be so fun!

teeny (teeny), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:40 (eighteen years ago) link

we circumsized, and no one has struck us down yet. it's probably more about your own situation down there, but i guess a kid doesn't have to resemble his father in that way.

Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 27 January 2006 22:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I was about to post but she's just woken up and needs a cuddle...

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 27 January 2006 23:00 (eighteen years ago) link

This was my sweet baby boy when he was probably 15 months old (I can't quite remember without looking at the actual picture, but I know he was bald as an egg before he turned 1): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v240/lunacee/b.jpg Oh how I miss those days. Waking up to that smile was a pure joy. Still is, of course, but he tends to wake up a little crankier these days.

This is last summer when he was learning to swim - at one point he had a mask, flippers, arm floaties and a ring around his middle. My sister says it's because he's a Virgo and didn't want to take any chances, but I think secretly, he thought he looked cool. Like AquaBatMan. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v240/lunacee/boointhepool.jpg

This is him last September on the first day of school. The role of sidekick is being played by my mom. He's 8 now, in 3rd grade and has just been accepted to the gifted program which apparently doesn't really mean all that much in his school - except that he takes an extra art class after school on Wednesdays. He's going through kind of an asshole stage - which I suspect is the product of his growing up and trying to test new limits, and also of his having been slightly spoiled from the moment he was born, and so we're trying to talk things out, include him in making new rules and just generally be a little more grown up about things than we have been in the past. This is not easy, and tests both my patience and his as well. He is, without reservation or doubt, the very best thing that has ever happened to me, the very best thing I have ever done or been a part of, and will be, for the rest of the days I have on this earth, the true love of my life. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v240/lunacee/firstdayofschool.jpg

luna (luna.c), Friday, 27 January 2006 23:07 (eighteen years ago) link

:-D Quite the wonderful thread. :-)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 28 January 2006 02:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, I didn't realize there were so many parents on ILE!

My wife and I have a 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Juna Ann. Here she is from Halloween:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v131/renart/kitty3.jpg

She's a joy and a constant challenge, like all worthwhile things. Her recent loves are animals, her grandparents, the works of Eric Carle, Babar books, building with those oversized Legos, painting and drawing, and dancing to almost any music I put on. I have an mpeg somewhere of her dancing to Gary Numan's "Cars."

She's been going through a bit of the terrible twos recently, but her contrariness occasionally produces some amusing results. Her step-grandfather told her the other day that she had a frog in her throat because her voice was low due to a cold. She told him indignantly, "No. I have a cricket in my mouth!"

By the way, for the parents of infants, I highly recommend Tana Hoban's "Black on White" and "White on Black" for reading books with them. They are just silhouettes of simple objects, but infants can focus most easily on high contrast pictures. When Juna was very little she loved to look at and point and recognize (I'm pretty sure) the simple pictures of bananas, teddy bears, etc.

Nemo (JND), Saturday, 28 January 2006 03:32 (eighteen years ago) link

cute! i posted Z's halloween pic on another thread a while ago, but here it is:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v335/gypsyfrocksbedlam/July-August2005bw049.jpg

(his big round head made charlie brown seem like an obvious choice)

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 28 January 2006 03:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, that was perfect. Were you tempted to draw a squiggle on his head?

truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 28 January 2006 03:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Good Grief! That's an excellent costume idea.

Nemo (JND), Saturday, 28 January 2006 04:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Here's a photo I took just yesterday of my darling 21 month old son, Julian.
http://eichlerla.com/IMG_4265.jpg
He's just now discovering the power of "NO !" and is not at all worried about wearing it out. He's quite the gregarious lad and when out shopping with me will say "man, man,man" or "lady, lady, lady" until he gets the loving attention of whomever his intended target is at that moment. Disarming and embarrasing, but cute as hell.
He's the absolute joy of my life, even when he's screaming because I won't let him handle the kitchen cutlery. Father knows best !

Brad Laner (Brad Laner), Saturday, 28 January 2006 04:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, I've instituted a strict "no knives until you're 3" policy, too.

It really is interesting how quickly children grasp the power of "no!"

Nemo (JND), Saturday, 28 January 2006 04:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Here's a photo I took just yesterday of my darling 21 month old son, Julian.

:-) :-) Please to tell yer lovely lady wife N. hi from me, and that Julian is a treat.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 28 January 2006 06:43 (eighteen years ago) link

also who knew changing diapers could be so fun!

Oh definitely. Especially when our daughter poops and pees just after putting off the dirty diaper. She's done this twice now. I'm used to the peeing - she does it at least once a day when I change diapers - but simultaneously squirting a bit of poopoo made me laugh. I couldn't help it, I just found it so extremely funny.

Recovery from my delivery has been relatively good but I do have some minor problems: pain in my pelvic bone is the worst. It really hinders me in carrying her. It's not impossible, just a bit harder to carry her around. :-( I am starting kine on monday. Hopefully it'll pass.

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 28 January 2006 07:51 (eighteen years ago) link

the novelty of the diaper changes wears off, i have to say. especially if they don't want to lie down. it sometimes takes the both of us to hold him down and keep him from squirming away in the middle of the process. my wife met one woman who confessed that she finally gave up and learned to change diapers while her son was standing up, because he wouldn't lie still for it.

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 28 January 2006 08:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Hallowe'en? OK, can't resist posting this:

http://static.flickr.com/26/58195020_77a4078a3a.jpg

(The little angel sensed I was going to gush about her on that internet again last night and so wailed for a good 40min; she always seems doubly cute when she finally settles down...)

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Saturday, 28 January 2006 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link

she has such big eyes!

youn, Saturday, 28 January 2006 14:21 (eighteen years ago) link

The better to eat her candy with. Wait, I got that wrong.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 28 January 2006 14:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Did someone say Halloween?

Douglas (Douglas), Saturday, 28 January 2006 18:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Now who are you supposed to be again...oh right, Local H.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 28 January 2006 18:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Ava is so beautiful :)

ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 28 January 2006 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

All babies look better with little animal ears!

Douglas (Douglas), Saturday, 28 January 2006 18:51 (eighteen years ago) link


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