Ecstasy (the substance): C/D?

NOTHING feels as good as a good e

people who get really into smack do it because NOTHING feels as good as being on heroin to them, right? but you can be on a good e and be thinking "this is the BEST, why don't I do this more often, or ALL the time, I'm feeling GREAT and the music sounds SO GOOD" without, the next day, having to sell everything you own and start stealing or sex work to keep feeling that good feeling. you might just go "what a great time, nothing feels as good as that... maybe we should do it again for new year's or something?" idk, insert actual point here

making someone pretty laugh a lot is also a p good feeling but doesn't last nearly as long

i hadn't done anything in about 2/3 years until going to ibiza, i think that combined with the quality gave me what i thought was long gone, something close to the first e feeling. having said that, when it became the 6am chatting on the beach etc, even though it was real talk with real friends, in the back of my mind i felt like we were all oversharing or like there was something unpleasant about all fences between people being removed by this powerhouse mental chemical, railroading over all our individuality. perhaps not in those exact words at the time! more like a sense of deja vu...

it is a v strange drug - i saw dj harvey play on monday and it was definitely one of the best parties i've ever been to (i've done e enough times that i can tell you the best five nights of my life and prob the best 10 and they aren't the last 5 or 10 times i did an e!) - i think maybe harvey was the pinnacle for me - amazing music but also a crowd of my age or older, even before getting high nearly everybody at the party had introduced themselves and we were all having a really good time. i think the parties and back at houses etc lack the element of strangers, you need to be meeting new people while on e.

that was a real throwback for me - i'm quite shy, which may seem ridiculous but i know now via years of mental health probs and counselling that i am a quite reclusive person in lots of ways. i realised that the removal of all barriers in a communal setting with strangers, and the kind of equal playing field it creates between the sexes is something i miss a lot. like i was talking to some scot who lives in london, v attractive, pretty etc, and her husband, and i had a big long chat with this person for an hour - then at various points i'd be on the dancefloor and get a big hug or like i'd flick her ear or something. i mean that can be flirting or that kind of thing but i guess when real goodwill or commonality is boosted by e it can be amazing. and this was a party high in the hills above san antonio in this beautiful picturesque hotel.

if i could go to parties like that in london maybe i'd still go out to hear music, but i very very very much can't - most dance music parties are so fucking terrible and full of identikit rude morons with no interest in talking to others and no personality to share with them if they did...

i'd say there's a decent chance i'll never do it again tho after the last week. the gaps are certainly getting longer and longer anyway.

"Just took an acid blotter this weekend for the first time in ages, Interesting experience! I became incredible physically aware of how hyper-tense I am all over my body and how much I need to relax."

really wish i needed to do acid to come to this realization

most dance music parties are so fucking terrible and full of identikit rude morons with no interest in talking to others and no personality to share with them if they did...

sadly very true in london and one of the main reasons i'll almost always take a gig in a smaller venue there (where there is an increased likelihood this won't be the case) over a better paid big room gig. oh, and i'm glad you had such a good time in ibiza!

it's a pretty awful place, ibiza, apart from the sun and the parts outside the main hives, but the harvey gig was amazing. very strange as it was just a guestlist you emailed for but the hotel it was in was beautiful and guests were treated like they'd paid to check in, really classy. i dunno how it wasn't overrun and crazy.

should probably make more effort to go out in london though, especially when you guys are playing. there is the occasional good smaller party but a few years ago i would end up just walking straight back out of clubs i'd paid into, i had to stop lest i ended up hating the music rather than the clubs. i do go to bodyhammer down here when it's on.

That's such a great story really LG. Summed up everything about what I (used to) love about it. Like you say, the chances to do it are getting waaay further apart, but I haven't resigned myself to not doing it - it wasn't so much a conscious decision, rather a situational one where the opportunities arise less often.

for me it's more just where once it was an automatic yes when someone produced a class a, now it's an automatic no. the why and how of that would be like the why and how of youth's passing itself :)

these days all i ever see at parties is chaz, which I can never honestly say i've had a wonderful time on. sometimes mandy powder, but it's also rare these days. my friends don't really go out to clubs or raves any more and i can't really remember the last time i went to a decent house party that wasn't hosted by me, so.

ibiza is really beautiful and wonderful if you stay away from certain places. i stay in Talalamca when i go and i'd really recommend it. There are hardly any brits there at all.

Realized tonight that my last tablet would be old enough to drive.

Would love to do it again but I can't imagine the right crowd coming along - my friends and peers are married/parents, in bed by 10pm types.

I heard this year that the drug was synthesised way earlier than one might expect and probably before its usage could really be what it became. & that it was popularised about 60 or 70 years later. After some clinical usage which itself was like 50 years after its initial synthesis.
So wondering what it was initially synthesised for and how they came upon later usage.

However, in these documents there were no indications for plans to develop an appetite suppressant. MDMA was mentioned only casually and without being called ‘MDMA’. In the patent specification, MDMA appeared only as a chemical formula and in the annual report it was referred to as ‘Methylsafrylamin’. The accurate back- ground for the first synthesis of MDMA was that Merck wanted to find and patent pathways leading to haemo- static substances, not appetite suppressors. The company tried to evade an existing patent for the synthesis of a clot- ting agent called ‘Hydrastinin’ held by the German com- petitor Farbenfabriken Elberfeld und Decker or Bayer/ Elberfeld, as stated explicitly by the head of Merck’s labo- ratory, Dr Walter Beckh (1870–1915) in the Annual Report for 1912.

A good thoughtful, and open, thread. Particularly enjoyed this description of the human condition:

Well, it did make a difference to us, but without making a difference in us. Not even birth is a greater breach of promise. The world is the same dismal day-to-day wake-to-work regimen, the same work-to-eat, eat-to-shit cycle, the same sleep-to-dream routine, sharing in order to quarrel over the cut, the same old same it was before...

That's a passage from the tunnel by William Gass, he is writing about ecstasy (not the substance) but I guess I thought it was fitting