The Wit and Wisdom of The Modern Wildean Genius, Noel Gallagher

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noel gallagher: i'm still not entirely sure who taylor swift is or why people know all about her

bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 30 July 2015 12:58 (four years ago) link

It's a great tune, and I paid 79 pence for it, but I am in no way a fan of Alt-J.

Why not?

I don't know. One of them's got a mustache, and that's unacceptable.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 30 July 2015 13:34 (four years ago) link

I wasn’t even going to vote in the last election, but I looked down the list [of candidates] and there was a guy standing for The Pirate Party. His manifesto was, “Everyone should dress like a pirate,” and I thought, “You know what? The world would be a better f*cking place if everyone dressed like a pirate.” Because, really, is there anything cooler than a pirate? Keith Richards is one and that’ll f*cking do me.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 31 July 2015 11:30 (four years ago) link

Imagine... a pirate on doughnuts!

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 31 July 2015 11:32 (four years ago) link

REVEREND & THE MAKERS
New Album & Film 'MIRRORS' 9th October

“So I’m listening to ‘Mirrors’ for the 1st time and I’m about 15 minutes in when it dawns on me that this is like something that sounds like nothing I’ve heard since the great concept albums of the 60’s…It’s at that point that I may have shit in my smoking jacket! (in fact I think I did actually shit in my Fez!!). Shit title though eh?” (Noel Gallagher)

From the press release

suffeeciant attreebution (aldo), Friday, 7 August 2015 10:54 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

“No matter how much you sit there twiddling, going, 'We're all doomed', at the end of the day people will always want to hear you play 'Creep'. Get over it.”

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 4 November 2015 11:47 (four years ago) link

A+

new noise, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 16:33 (four years ago) link

Killing it

you too could be called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (jim in glasgow), Wednesday, 4 November 2015 16:51 (four years ago) link

Particularly Coca-Cola, it's like doing a fucking gig for McDonald's."

damn... really nailed it with that comparison

Sheriff U. Agri (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 5 November 2015 13:32 (four years ago) link

Esquire UK cover story

Radiohead? When do people listen to them? Is it when they go out, or is it when they come in? Because I’m struggling to think.

I tell you what I think about Liam and this is just an opinion. He would fucking aggressively disagree. He was rightly put up there as this fucking huge rock star but he didn’t write a note, not a word. From my perspective I don’t know how comfortable I’d feel about the mania surrounding us, and you knowing in your fucking soul that you were responsible for really wearing the clothes.

Morning Glory was slated when it came out. And then when it became the biggest thing ever – and I’ve been told this by two editors – they thought, “We’re not going to be caught out next time.” And they lauded Be Here Now, which was clearly a shit fucking album, full of fat fucking rock stars, and then they got caught out again. And they never forgave us. They were just like, “Wankers. We can’t fucking get on it.”

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 5 November 2015 18:15 (four years ago) link

And they never forgave us.

Of course. Oasis never again appeared on a music magazine front cover, and certainly their every subsequent album wasn't greeted with desperate delusionary "no really THIS is the return to form" reviews.

please don't shampoo your eyes (stevie), Friday, 6 November 2015 11:02 (four years ago) link

The Bends is pretty good listening before going out

niels, Friday, 6 November 2015 11:47 (four years ago) link

“I know people who live for their reviews. I once asked somebody how their new album was going, they said, ‘Fucking great. I’ve only got one bad review.’ Who gives a fuck? ‘Only got one bad review.’ Fucking hell, really? Shit, Jesus. Here’s your second.”

He criticised the groups he presumably perceives as being in thrall to the Guardian. “You’re not seriously telling me that anyone is going to be listening to Foals in 12 years. Is anybody going to be fucking begging for Hot Chip to get back together in 22 years? I don’t fucking think so.”

He was characteristically trenchant about pretty much every other pop star at work today. “Who gives a shit what fucking One Direction do? Cocksuckers, all of them in rehab by the time they’re 30. Who gives a shit what Ellie Goulding is up to? Really? Adele, what?” Alex Turner and Royal Blood look good, he said, but “I’ve got a cat that’s more rock’n’roll than all of them put together.” Thom Yorke, meanwhile, should “give us a fucking shout” when he writes a song “as good as fucking Mony Mony”.

He did, however, express his admiration for Kanye West, one of the few people on whom he does not believe fame is wasted, and Chris Martin, “a friend of mine. That fucking guy can write a tune.”

Coincidentally, it was revealed on Friday morning that Gallagher will appear on Coldplay’s new album, A Head Full of Dreams.

He was certain, however, of Oasis’s stature, insisting they were one of the best groups of all time. “If all the greats are in the top four, we’re in the bottom of the top four, we’re kind of constantly fighting for fifth, just missing out.” He added that Oasis would be unlikely to reunite, because unlike most re-formed bands they could never be as big as they were first time round. If he changed his mind about returning, he said, his brother Liam would almost certainly say no, just to spite him.

Gallagher also said giving his interviews was his hobby. “I could do this all day long … I get to be a gobshite, and I get to do that thing: to be the last of a dying breed.”

doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Friday, 6 November 2015 12:36 (four years ago) link

Thom Yorke, meanwhile, should “give us a fucking shout” when he writes a song “as good as fucking Mony Mony”.

i think this is the worst sentence i've ever read

doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Friday, 6 November 2015 12:37 (four years ago) link

LOL, possibly!

LESTER: I saw Bowie the other night.
LOU: Lucky you. I think it’s very sad.
LESTER: He ripped off all your riffs, obviously.
LOU: Everybody steals riffs. You steal yours. David wrote some really great songs.
LESTER: Aw, c’mon…anybody can write great songs! Sam the Sham wrote great songs! Did David ever write anything better than “Wooly Bully”?

Caput Johannis in Disco (Tom D.), Friday, 6 November 2015 12:48 (four years ago) link

Thom Yorke, meanwhile, should “give us a fucking shout” when he writes a song “as good as fucking Mony Mony”.

i think this is the worst sentence i've ever read

Disagree, comedy gold from Noel here.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 10:16 (four years ago) link

enjoying the part where "we didn't have carpet back in my day"

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 10:17 (four years ago) link

I’m aware that Radiohead have never had a fucking bad review. I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it’d probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo. I’m aware of that

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 10:19 (four years ago) link

All the bands that get back together, all those ones you’ve mentioned [Fleetwood Mac, Led Zeppelin] they didn’t have anybody in the line-up as fucking brilliant as me.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 10:23 (four years ago) link

Fame’s wasted on these cunts today. Bar Kanye.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 10:24 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

"Life on Mars" is not about pondering whether there's fucking life on Mars. Nobody knows what it's about.

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 30 January 2016 01:38 (three years ago) link

I didn't know this until a couple of days ago, but this song was a take on some French fuckin' political writer called Jean Genet. But again, is the song about the fuckin' French Revolution? No, I don't think so.

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 30 January 2016 01:38 (three years ago) link

And for all my talk of, "Well, what are his songs about? We don't really know what they're about," I think "Heroes" is quite straightforward. The sentiment is amazing: We can be heroes, if only for one day.

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 30 January 2016 01:40 (three years ago) link

three years pass...

“I’m walking around today in a T-shirt, and I’m thinking ...” Gallagher looks up to mock-assess the weather, fully aware he is about to send some Guardian readers berserk, “... it’s not even remotely chilly. Sure, it’ll be bad for my grandkids. But I’ve not met them yet. They might be a load of cunts, d’you know what I mean?”

Tokyo Ghetto Stüssy (King Boy Pato), Monday, 5 August 2019 11:38 (five months ago) link

yeah yeahhhhh

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Monday, 5 August 2019 11:42 (five months ago) link


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