ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

Much truth is found here - http://www.thehonesttoddler.com/2015/06/how-toddlers-see-their-food-vs-your-food.htm

Much truth is found here - http://www.thehonesttoddler.com/2015/06/how-toddlers-see-their-food-vs-your-food.htm

So much truth I had to post it twice.

Page not found.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4hxDrFEdCkM/VZCNVYbKQVI/AAAAAAAAB_Q/nbqaCtYMeNA/s1600/how%2Btoddlers%2Bsee%2Byour%2Bfood.png

:D

ty ty

4. Let her pick out her own shirt which requires me holding up all of her shirts for either a "Nonononono" or a "Yeah

Oh we put a stop to this real quick because it got to the point where she was clearly saying 'no' just to say 'no'.

She dressed herself from that day forward.

Ivy has started trying to get out of her crib, but rather than climb out, she just pushes herself up onto the rail and attempts to launch herself headfirst out of the crib and onto the floor.

We're lowering the mattress tonight.

ph jeez

oh even

Does anyone/did anyone use pacifiers with their babies? We were given the advice that it's "better than having them suck their thumb" but we're having the exact same experience with #2 we had with #1: first couple nights they don't really want it, then they start to want it in order to fall asleep, then it starts falling out of their mouths and waking them up, and pretty soon they become unable to fall asleep because every time the pacifier falls out of their mouths they wake up. GAH!

Ivy used a pacifier for awhile, with the same issue that you're having. So when she switched to her thumb, we celebrated! And now she's a total thumbsucker. That only bothers me when 1) strangers comment on it and 2) she puts her hands all over the filthy bus and then sticks them in her mouth.

we attempted pacifiers for both boys when other soothing techniques weren't working but they never really caught on so we ditched them

also fuck everybody "FOUR MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION"

"FOUR MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION"

fuck this bullshit

F was up from like 12am to 4am last night

and my toddler is all of a sudden getting night terrors? so weird

fuck everything about babies/toddlers not being able to just learn how to sleep and stay knowing how to sleep

we used pacifiers (Judah still wants his to go to sleep) - they grow out of it. I don't recall Veronica causing much of a stink when we told her they were all gone and she was about the age Judah is now (2 1/2)

fuck everything about babies/toddlers not being able to just learn how to sleep and stay knowing how to sleep

otm.

otm yes

even as someone w a history of sleep problems I'm like come on you lil bastards it isn't THAT complicated

my oldest used a pacifier until she was like 5 & we had to hide them, cut the tips off, but she'd grab one from a secret stash she'd put together, jonesing for the good suck, she's clean now but it was tough

haha we are nearing the cutting the tips off stage - at this point we're insisting he only have it when he's sleeping (of course mostly it's just to go to sleep, once he's asleep it falls out of his mouth)

xp: I'm glad to hear that. My littlest is almost 5 and still addicted to her pacifier. I've been very good about keeping her off during the daytime, but mrs. life is more lenient. She had problems with sleep apnea when she was littler and some doctor told my wife "oh yeah, just keep her on the pacifier..."

I was anti-dummy for some vague reason but used one from 1 month. It's great at settling him but now like you say he needs it to go back to sleep when he stirs. Or does he? Maybe I'll try turning the monitor down tonight and see if he can re settle.
It was nbd when he was next to me but now he's in his own room.

I'm determined to wean him off it after 1 year or so but in absence of dummy he tries to stuff his top/sleeping bag into his mouth rather than just suck his thumb.

He only has it in his cot so hoping that'll help.

doctor had to reassure my wife today that Super Sweaty Toddler Syndrome is *not* a thing... our son is just sweaty

Time for mesh tank tops!

Ella requires 2 dummies, one to suck and one to hold, and beware her wrath if the holding one drops out of her hand and onto the floor as she goes to sleep

Visiting family, thought we could leave the kid with grandparents but both times we tried (once with my mom and dad, yesterday with wife's mom and her husband) he seemed fine for half an hour then utterly lost his shit, just inconsolable crying, refusing to eat, etc. Which sucks cause travel sucks and we thought we'd at least get some time alone with six grandparents around.

He's totally fine with people - he met dozens of new ones this trip and is super happy and open to all of them, being held by them, whatever. We just can't leave him alone.

Any way to overcome this? He's basically always with one of us at home, and was fine when my MIL came to help when my wife was out of town in April. I left him with her while I was at work all day and it was fine. But he's 8 months now and totally different about it. I'm worried cause he starts daycare in a couple weeks and it seems like it'll be a shitshow.

No advice but I'm a little anxious about this too. He hasn't yet been left with anyone - we've done it a couple of times but he slept the whole time!
Nursery will be a big change but most children adapt pretty quickly afaik. Also they'll have seen it all before.

Sometimes you just have to leave and let them get upset, eventually they'll get over it. Evie is weird about babysitters, sometimes she's fine but other times she gets really clingy and whiny and upset. Last time I basically had to peel her off my leg and slam the door shut quickly with her crying inside so we could leave. Ten minutes later the sitter sent a photo of her smiling happily.

I guess it's pretty different for an eight-month-old. I am by nature a pretty impatient person so I usually go for "dive right into the cold pool" solutions over "gradually inch your way into the cold pool" solutions, for better or for worse.

Yeah, Ivy is fine at daycare but gets weird about being left alone with adults sometimes, including family members. Sometimes including one of her parents (ie Ivy standing at the back door and wailing because Jeff took the trash out). But she generally settles down and adjusts pretty well once she gets over her initial unhappiness. We're in the process of switching her to a new daycare and we went last night to hang out during free play time just to get her familiar with it and in the span of ten minutes, she went from grinding her face into my neck and sobbing to gleefully screaming and playing with the other kids.

Also there was a little dude there in a red onesie that said "HOLA LADIES" on it, which continues to crack me up.

But I don't think there's really a way to overcome it. Babies getting separation anxiety is normal development while they figure out object permanence and work out the fact that they and their parents are actually separate entities. Also in our experience, when there's other kids around, Ivy handles being separated from us much better, mostly because other kids are fascinating. So while I'm sure Cecil will cry a lot when he first goes to daycare, hopefully he'll adjust quickly with all of the other kids and interesting toys around.

tbh I get weird being left alone with adults still

god we had 4 other babies/mums come over today and literally every time someone new walked into the room his face crumpled up and he got upset. Then he perked up a bit and didn't go too mental when someone started shaking his favourite jingle bell thing even more enthusiastically than he does.

Here's a secret about daycare. The first couple of years I would take Beeps in she would cry and beg to come with me to the point where her carers had to pull her off me. I'd drive to work in tears most days. Finally on of her teachers pulled me aside and said 'you know, she stops crying 30 seconds after you leave'. I tested out her theory the next day by walking down the hall then turning back and peeking in classroom window. There was Beeps happy as a lark playing with her classmates.

yeah it's a ritual

Oh and here's another little story but this time about pacifiers. Beeps never took to a pacifier. Hank, the king of chill, loved them from day one. He was one of those kids that had hidden stashes and multiple binkies in his crib should he wake at night. We let him use them until he was 3. Well, I should say I let him. PP and his dad were strongly suggesting getting rid of them long before we actually did. The breaking point was Henry's 3y/o well check up. We already knew his speech wasn't great but never associated it with the pacifier. The paediatrician asked Henry some questions which he understood and tried to answer. At the end of the visit, the doctor said he couldn't understand anything Henry had said. It was, you guessed it, the result of using a pacifier for too long. We cut him off straight away and to be honest his speech only caught up to his peers very recently. He turns 6 in October. The more you know.

Blimey--I didn't know about that. Did he use them only at night, or while awake as well?

ymmv my pacifist had no speech troubles. my other two did, but they never took up the paci, go figure

I thought this was interesting, although it leaves some things out (e.g. research showing that young dads are spending significantly more time with their kids than previous generations):
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/31/upshot/millennial-men-find-work-and-family-hard-to-balance.html?_r=0&abt=0002&abg=0

I took paternity leave (6 weeks) everyone should do it, going to encourage my coworker who just told me his first child is due in Nov to do it too. But yeah it's gonna take years for policy to catch up w generational shift. Good article although I was a little frustrated that it didn't explicitly spell out what "traditional" roles meant. My wife has stayed home to care for our children because she a) didn't care about her job/career all that much (or, at least, didn't enjoy it the way I do mine) and b) we were pretty easily convinced that she would provide better care for the kids than any option we might end up paying for and it would be easier for her to breastfeed, deal w infant schedules etc. if she stayed home. So I've been the "breadwinner" since our kids were born - at the same time I cook 99% of our meals, do the dishes etc. and she does all the household accounting/bookkeeping so are our roles "traditiona"? idk

I've never had paternity leave. But that's the thing, we're all just individual couples making rational choices, but our choices are impacted by ideology and economic structures.

I didn't have paternity leave, but I saved up a month of vacation time and used that.

I also have never had vacation time that rolled over. I took approximately 2 weeks with each baby.

California state law allows up to 6 weeks at something like 65% pay (comes out of your state payroll taxes)