Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

My friend saw this on the toilet door of the Charing Cross branch of Itsu.

https://twitter.com/charlie_frame/status/621011313997795328?s=09

what's the racial slur?

Maybe 'ragamuffin' isn't so much a racial word but still I'm impressed at how much yuck they managed to fit into just a few words.

does anyone remember the name of the facebook group about british marketing/british life. something about it being a bleak hobbesian hellscape? overlaps with the coolfreaks in the venn diagram, but british/mean.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1608033966151968/?fref=ts

Boring Dystopia?

food delivery services are all horrible in this regard:

Don't be a stranger…
We had fun the last time we got together, didn’t we? We cooked, you ate. You ordered, we delivered. At Caviar, we like to reward our repeat offenders from time to time, so we’re sending you a little summin’ to use on your next order.

yes! xp

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/dec/04/column-change-life-corporate-lies-oliver-burkeman

https://www.ocado.com/productImages/292/29223011_0_640x640.jpg

i had some of these recently (the salt & vinegar ones) and I too was reminded of this thread

is this more prevalent in the uk?

Wonderful with a porkpie

OK

hat at a rakish angle

FUCK YOU

that "congratulations" thing that caek mentions is becoming more and more common.

thread reminds me - there are loads of chuggers near my office and i have to navigate through them every day. i find it p sad, like whether they've been brainwashed or bullied into it, or are just desperate for a job, but it's almost ironic that the ones who actually do it day in day out are such a natural at the vile erosion of human friendliness or warmth that they would probably thrive in certain offices.

it's like this clownish demeanour, hopping from one foot to the other, calling out "hi buddy! how are YOU today! :)" "hello my friend! got a minute for a little chat?? :) :)". and they change the tone of their voice with each person so it's like "HEYYY" or "he-LO!" etc. the other thing is that this is prob one of the busiest street corners in the city - the last thing it needs is some fucking jester in a fleece.

"buddy" when used in the uk feels really pernicious

'Hey, running man!'

'Ello ello someone looks rich!'

'Dude, five of your minutes?'

haha. "five of your minutes" is spot on. feels weird in the same way as twitter bios saying "lover of gin" or something. like if we say something in a cumbersome way it gains some new meaning - or maybe just ceases to be dull.

pushing a buggy, it's always 'hey supermum!!!'

"Chief" is another keyword. Feel like Limmy is the master enthographer of this dead-eyed marketing-bro discourse.

for some reason i never get targeted by these - though there are always two outside my office (opposite the main entrance to holborn station). my tactics include looking as far away from them as possible in any direction, or making really horrible eye contact.

John Pienaar has just used the word "chillaxed" about 5 times in a row whilst talking about Cameron, and the grating quality of the word multiplied with every use

Buddy / boss / chief seems to be more common with second generation Brits ime. idk whether it's a cultural thing with people who have history in places where honorific titles are more widely used.

i actually like the "boss" and "boss man" thing in the chicken shops or newsagents around east london. "you want sauce with that boss?" is like set in stone.

i don't mean i like people calling me "boss" either - just that it feels like a comforting and common part of the local lexicon.

have seen it observed that chugging patter is basically repurposed catcalling

what are chuggers?

"Charity muggers" aka street fundraisers, they stand outside in town centres trying to sign up passersby to charities

they have them in the US but they are way more aggressive in the UK.

in the US the same people do improv comedy, but there is no such outlet in the UK.

i had to look it up on wikipedia

i walked by one of them once, black early-20's guy talking to a white guy in his 60s and overheard "see these issues are very important, that's why i'm going hard in the paint with you right now"

there is lots of improv comedy in the uk! it is kind of a home for the wacky/tiresome but not sure it's the same as chuggers, who seem more false to me.

Whose Line Is It Anyway? ran for over a decade

it's a pretty big scene in London

the ones here (charity solicitors) are more earnest and deferential. There are always two or three at all times in front of the Whole Foods supermarket near me.

the people who get paid to collect petition signatures are a bit closer to your chuggers.

yeah improv is a thing but I can't see much crossover

I have done this job btw!

did you say buddy or chief?

i had a friend who did that job, and it must not have been terribly rewarding because a few weeks later he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.

lol no (xp! xp!)

I could never bring myself to do any of that shit, just tried to engage with ppl normally. I lasted 6 months in the job, longer than any of the shit telesales jobs I did, which is quite an achievement as I am not at all extroverted. The company really screwed me over tho

granted there is improv in london, but the spiritual siblings of people who do improv comedy in the US are stood outside outside pizza express on park street in bristol.

http://www.snafflingpig.co.uk/pages/about-us
http://www.snafflingpig.co.uk/blogs/news/39022785-piggin-important-the-times-they-are-a-changin

no one fucks with the Laughing Cow

http://i.imgur.com/hhVG3d4.png?2

wonder did they piss off laughing cow or ginger pig. i'd say their logo is quite like the latter.

too reminiscent of:
http://torrentking.eu/covers/movies/48/28/0064828.jpg

Not the most obnoxious example, but still... unwarranted email from Virgin Trains East Coast yesterday:

"Friend request accepted (get in!)"
"krakow and Virgin Trains East Coast are FRIENDS ...with benefits!"
"It's always exciting to make a new friend, especially one with benefits - and our benefits can take you the length of the east coast, fast, frequently, and with a bit more swagger.
And if those aren't enough - here's a welcome 30% off your first journey to get you started. Don't mention it."

Implied train-fucking always encourages my patronage.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/12360299_10153820885201204_365432015774055504_n.jpg?oh=b2e5b220772cb76c2736669af660ab48&oe=5746976C

I keep seeing jokey flowcharts on boards outside of shops, pubs, barbers. flowcharts that always end in a square that says 'come on for a beer' or 'get your hair cut'. When did this become a thing?

I feel like there's a completely different conversation to be had about those chalkboards. I think they're sort of a thing born of Buzzfeed. I see a lot of the same weak jokes recycled quite a bit.

Going back to the chuggers thing, the major difference between the US and UK is that in the UK, it's illegal to solicit cash donations - i.e. if you are going to donate to a charity solicitor on the street, you have to stand there and give them your bank details, which seems completely insane to me - in the States the general thing is a Salvation Army guy will ring a bell outside of Wal Mart or whatever and people throw him quarters.

Like 95% of chuggers open with "Hey big guy" to my fat ass, which is a guarantee I'm not even going to stutter step as I race by

bought some sheets off habitat recently and it said "you did it!" in the confirmation email. like thanks for making me feel like a 5-year-old child using the toilet successfully when i "manage" to buy a product on your site.

don't we have a whole thread all about chuggers by eisbär or someone, running the gauntlet etc etc