Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Was he saying that TO anyone? :|

I think so but I've no idea - sometimes it's just two of us in the office in the evening and I go to answer him and realise he's completely oblivious to my presence and chatting away to no-one.

He's mentioned liking Charles Rennie Mackintosh before so I'm guessing he visited an exhibition and enjoyed the chairs.

I overheard him telling a colleague how a barmaid gave him a handkerchief because she noticed he was always blowing his nose. He said "'dye no hate when people notice yer habits?" - not realising he has a million of them and everyone notices all of them all the time. Also now I can't stop noticing him blowing his nose :(

Randomness earlier included "helped myself tae that smoked cheese" and lots of pained noises including actually saying the word "ouch" repeatedly.

Smoked cheese must not have agreed with him.

he just shouted

"It's no the lassie's fault! It's no the lassie's fault!"

The accent elevates this nonsense a lot.

It does add an element of charm that I suspect is missing from onimo's actual experiences

hmmm ... my boss just told me he expects me to clock 50 hours per week during the summer. considering telling him to go fuck himself, but he did soften the blow by telling me he doesn't mind if i do some of those hours from home. so what should i do, tell him to go fuck himself, or just go home and not work. decisions decisions.

btw this is my boss who is always talking about pulling 70-80 hour work weeks. and the last big project he took on was to "edit" a big project i'd done, which he mostly worked on between midnight and three am (we start work at noon) and btw he royally fucked the whole thing up and then blamed it on the conversion between my mac and his PC. uh, no, converting files between mac and PC doesn't scramble paragraphs of latex code, tired people who should be sleeping at 1 am do that.

the sad part is that my boss is actually a really nice guy, so i will probably just end up clocking those really unproductive 50 hour weeks so as not to rock the boat

i am not seriously considering telling him to go fuck himself, but i am seriously considering switching to part time + contract work. only problem is then i'd have to like, buy obamacare and build / claim a home office and that's a whole level of hassle i'm not comfortable with right now

I work from home two days a week - it is a huge boost to your quality of life ime. on so many levels it alleviates stress.

i like working from home, but i am not highly productive at home. i get easily distracted by my dog + housecleaning. i would rather just work 40 productive hours than 50 half-assed hours.

could my coworkers not fuck each other, please?

or maybe just do a convincing job of pretending like they're not while at work.

u jeal

They've probably done it in Meeting Room B

You know, if you are one of seven people that your assistant supports, and Christmas or Administrative Professional's Day* or her 30th freaking anniversary with the firm rolls around and the other six people your assistant supports go in on a gift for her, you are a real heel if you opt out again like you have every time for the last three years, JUST FYI.

*I think this this is absolute bullshit, and appreciation is better shown with higher salary, better benefits, treating support staff as peers and not underlings, being generally respectful, etc. way better than plants BUT when in Rome...

Like, $10 to the woman who juggles a shit ton of fiddly administrative bullshit from seven people so you can concentrate on your big, important legal thoughts is really not too fucking much to ask.

Ew!!! What the fuck is wrong with people?!? S/he is a fucking LAWYER, right?? I mean... I prooooobably make less than them and *I* could spare $10 for a nice person.

This guy honestly believes that she doesn't do enough work for him to justify his contribution to any group gift, which I know for a fact to be a ridiculous assertion. Not to say that she does more stuff for him than for the rest of us, but she does a lot! And we all work remotely so she's basically like a physical extension of ourselves for the purposes of handling physical things like faxing, copying, taking stuff to various places, mailing... I don't know man.

Like if he were in the office every day, I could maaaaaaybe see his point but he works from a different state! He comes into the office maybe twice a year and only when his computer fucks up and requires in-person service.

a lawyer being an asshole? I'm *shocked* i tells ya. *shocked!*

ikr

Fuuuu... I just had a six-second fantasy about becoming a lawyer specifically in order not to act like this. Luckily Carl has this covered already.

I'm managing an idealistic young social justice warrior firebrand so if I've been curmudgeonly lately with ilx I'll ask for yr understandings

I was an admin/paralegal before I went to law school and I made a vow that I would always approach support staff as equals. I think I've stuck to it well but you'd probably have to ask the admins I've worked with to be sure. I admit that sometimes I am a real stereotypical ding dong lawyer when it comes to IT stuff but in my defense, everything about computers changed in the three years I was in law school and now I'm more or less an old man yelling at clouds re: tech.

Like I shit you not, five minutes ago I turned on my laptop, thought, "God this thing is dirty" and then thought, "I wonder if that's a thing people ever call the service desk about..."

speaking as an underling, I don't hate doing my job but i do hate being the object of intra-office group-pressured gift-giving and would be grossed out by any concern-trolling on my behalf. no one at work knows when my birthday is for this reason. just my two cents!

I wouldn't call my post concern trolling. Thanks for your two cents. I'll put them towards the flowers.

The best flowers don't cost anything.

yeah just swipe 'em off a gravestone like a normal person jeez

I share a room at work (separated by a cubicle divider) with a woman who is the single most obtuse human being I have ever met. She has been arguing with an insurance customer service rep for the past half hour because she is (inexplicably) angry that her homeowners insurance is going to be included in her mortgage payment rather than billed separately, and that they didn't tell her they were going to do this in advance, etc. But this is pretty much always the way it works with a mortgage. And why would she even have a problem with that? It’s still the same price. But more importantly... SHE IS A MORTGAGE LITIGATION PARALEGAL AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW THIS.

This is just one in a series of long, loud, seemingly pointless arguments she has gotten into with customer service representatives while I try in vain to ignore her.

"Wrong fuckin place at the wrong fuckin time!
I just can't get enough,
I just can't get enough,
Wrong fuckin place,
I just can't seem to get enough of

Aaah aaah ouch!"

In an argument about the tube strike yesterday, our catering manager told me that a strike couldn't happen in the catering industry because "it just wouldn't work. The company would still need to provide a service, you see, and if the staff aren't there it's very difficult for them to do that."

ha classic

amazing

Condensed version of an email conversation that has been wasting my time for the last 45 minutes -

CO-WORKERS: Why did we change the graphic on this page from a static one to a video?

ME: We didn't, it's a looping GIF from the video relevant to the page topic.

CW: But why did we change it?

ME: To see if we could keep people on the page and increase conversions.

CW: I don't like it.

CW 2: I agree, it might confuse people as to what the page is about.

ME: This page is converting at over 13% and most of the traffic comes from another page that makes its purpose clear.

CW 2: How are you determining conversions?

ME (mentally): GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

non-stop tunelessly whistling guy is going to do me in

paraphrased text messages

me yesterday: i'm on vacation aug 13-28. do not call, text or email me during that time. rachel will be doing my job while i'm away. send your orders and inventories to her then.

cw today: [sends through order] should i also send this to rachel?

NO. NO YOU SHOULDN'T.

Wait, so.... you're doing your job before Aug 13 and after Aug 28
and Rachel will be doing your job between Aug 13 and Aug 28

so

if it's before Aug 13

Rachel should be doing your job, right? right??? god, i was always so bad at word problems!!! can someone plz parse this confusing blob of words for me????? what's going on what is job even

Stevie, you should send everything to J between aug 13-28, but just copy Rachel, ok?

i'm not copying Rachel if I can just send it to J. she has her phone on her so I'm just going to do that; rachel need not get involved here.

ok so i'll contact her on monday? and after THAT you are like dead or whatever? cool cool

also um who is this rachel i mean do we even know her like what if i have ~personal~ concerns

Yeah, why did J even set this up? I'm gonna email Rachel about it. If I don't get a reply by around, say, Aug 14, then I'll contact J to find out just what was going on here.

YOU GUYS ARE THE WOOOOOOOORST

this is what every work day is like. trying to explain simple concepts to dummies. including my boss. which reminds me:

boss: so what's our website? xxxxxxxx✧✧✧@m✧✧.c✧✧?
me: no

remember that she has run this business for 35 years, and the online store has had the same url for like 10 years

lol

omg

skype it to her inbox (uhh yeah dude joke, applicable here tho)