Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

sometimes you think he's got ocd and/or some other mental health issues but I don't think it's autism or Asperger's or anything like that. He is perfectly capable of carrying out everyday activities, holding genial/amusing/sympathetic conversations, going to social events, etc.

I think he's just worked out a set of ridiculous routines that get him away from his desk because he finds work difficult (or because he's a lazy skiving git). The talking/singing to objects/himself thing is probably down to living alone for decades - he's a 50-something bachelor who hasn't had a long term partner for at least ten years.

He's currently shouting at no-one (or possible me, idk).

"It's the last week ay flexi and everybody's away hame. Something wrong wi that!"

"I just sneezed! Couldnae believe it! No again!"

"I need to stop eating raw garlic!"

I am 100% that my being fully partnered up for the past 15 years is the only thing keeping me from this type of existence

legit loled again at the fact that a) he is surprised he sneezed again and b) he said it out loud even though i imagine anyone woh can hear him yelling can also hear him sneeze

dude is our thread mascot

hahahahaha my assistant was just in my office absent-mindedly combing her hair with a fork. When I pointed it out to her she said, "Oh yeah I left my comb at home."

dude is our thread mascot

― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, June 16, 2015 4:17 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

onimo never quit your job.

Going to go around the rest of the day muttering to myself, "I just sneezed! Couldnae believe it! No again!"

past couple of minutes I've had

♫ daddy come home ♫

ow ow ouch ouch aaargh (he does a lot of these random grunts and groans)

♫ i just gotta tell yaaa! ♫

am bloody STARVIN' bytheway! (*goes to fridge again*)

I'm a fan def

Reminds me of this classic thread: A thread for Steve n.'s list of songs that his boss sings

> The talking/singing to objects/himself thing is probably down to living alone for decades

*SOBS*

i find myself repeating odd words or phrases back to the television and then realising that those were the only 3 words i'd spoken aloud all day. to nobody.

I'm totally hearing this guy in my head as a Burnistoun character.

He talks to the fridge

and not just about fridge stuff

"How d'ye feel about contributin' to Global Warming, by the way? No offence, like.."

today's only song snippet so far was a rather tuneful

♫ that's... ♫

not my name?
entertainment?
life?
the way love goes?

the way, uh-hu uh-hu...

♫ daddy oh daddy come home, ba bong bong bum ♫

ye know I've never considered a chair could be a work of art before but ma eyes were opened that day bytheway. A FUCKIN' CHAIR!

Was he saying that TO anyone? :|

I think so but I've no idea - sometimes it's just two of us in the office in the evening and I go to answer him and realise he's completely oblivious to my presence and chatting away to no-one.

He's mentioned liking Charles Rennie Mackintosh before so I'm guessing he visited an exhibition and enjoyed the chairs.

I overheard him telling a colleague how a barmaid gave him a handkerchief because she noticed he was always blowing his nose. He said "'dye no hate when people notice yer habits?" - not realising he has a million of them and everyone notices all of them all the time. Also now I can't stop noticing him blowing his nose :(

Randomness earlier included "helped myself tae that smoked cheese" and lots of pained noises including actually saying the word "ouch" repeatedly.

Smoked cheese must not have agreed with him.

he just shouted

"It's no the lassie's fault! It's no the lassie's fault!"

The accent elevates this nonsense a lot.

It does add an element of charm that I suspect is missing from onimo's actual experiences

hmmm ... my boss just told me he expects me to clock 50 hours per week during the summer. considering telling him to go fuck himself, but he did soften the blow by telling me he doesn't mind if i do some of those hours from home. so what should i do, tell him to go fuck himself, or just go home and not work. decisions decisions.

btw this is my boss who is always talking about pulling 70-80 hour work weeks. and the last big project he took on was to "edit" a big project i'd done, which he mostly worked on between midnight and three am (we start work at noon) and btw he royally fucked the whole thing up and then blamed it on the conversion between my mac and his PC. uh, no, converting files between mac and PC doesn't scramble paragraphs of latex code, tired people who should be sleeping at 1 am do that.

the sad part is that my boss is actually a really nice guy, so i will probably just end up clocking those really unproductive 50 hour weeks so as not to rock the boat

i am not seriously considering telling him to go fuck himself, but i am seriously considering switching to part time + contract work. only problem is then i'd have to like, buy obamacare and build / claim a home office and that's a whole level of hassle i'm not comfortable with right now

I work from home two days a week - it is a huge boost to your quality of life ime. on so many levels it alleviates stress.

i like working from home, but i am not highly productive at home. i get easily distracted by my dog + housecleaning. i would rather just work 40 productive hours than 50 half-assed hours.

could my coworkers not fuck each other, please?

or maybe just do a convincing job of pretending like they're not while at work.

u jeal

They've probably done it in Meeting Room B

You know, if you are one of seven people that your assistant supports, and Christmas or Administrative Professional's Day* or her 30th freaking anniversary with the firm rolls around and the other six people your assistant supports go in on a gift for her, you are a real heel if you opt out again like you have every time for the last three years, JUST FYI.

*I think this this is absolute bullshit, and appreciation is better shown with higher salary, better benefits, treating support staff as peers and not underlings, being generally respectful, etc. way better than plants BUT when in Rome...

Like, $10 to the woman who juggles a shit ton of fiddly administrative bullshit from seven people so you can concentrate on your big, important legal thoughts is really not too fucking much to ask.

Ew!!! What the fuck is wrong with people?!? S/he is a fucking LAWYER, right?? I mean... I prooooobably make less than them and *I* could spare $10 for a nice person.

This guy honestly believes that she doesn't do enough work for him to justify his contribution to any group gift, which I know for a fact to be a ridiculous assertion. Not to say that she does more stuff for him than for the rest of us, but she does a lot! And we all work remotely so she's basically like a physical extension of ourselves for the purposes of handling physical things like faxing, copying, taking stuff to various places, mailing... I don't know man.

Like if he were in the office every day, I could maaaaaaybe see his point but he works from a different state! He comes into the office maybe twice a year and only when his computer fucks up and requires in-person service.

a lawyer being an asshole? I'm *shocked* i tells ya. *shocked!*

ikr

Fuuuu... I just had a six-second fantasy about becoming a lawyer specifically in order not to act like this. Luckily Carl has this covered already.

I'm managing an idealistic young social justice warrior firebrand so if I've been curmudgeonly lately with ilx I'll ask for yr understandings

I was an admin/paralegal before I went to law school and I made a vow that I would always approach support staff as equals. I think I've stuck to it well but you'd probably have to ask the admins I've worked with to be sure. I admit that sometimes I am a real stereotypical ding dong lawyer when it comes to IT stuff but in my defense, everything about computers changed in the three years I was in law school and now I'm more or less an old man yelling at clouds re: tech.

Like I shit you not, five minutes ago I turned on my laptop, thought, "God this thing is dirty" and then thought, "I wonder if that's a thing people ever call the service desk about..."

speaking as an underling, I don't hate doing my job but i do hate being the object of intra-office group-pressured gift-giving and would be grossed out by any concern-trolling on my behalf. no one at work knows when my birthday is for this reason. just my two cents!

I wouldn't call my post concern trolling. Thanks for your two cents. I'll put them towards the flowers.

The best flowers don't cost anything.

yeah just swipe 'em off a gravestone like a normal person jeez

I share a room at work (separated by a cubicle divider) with a woman who is the single most obtuse human being I have ever met. She has been arguing with an insurance customer service rep for the past half hour because she is (inexplicably) angry that her homeowners insurance is going to be included in her mortgage payment rather than billed separately, and that they didn't tell her they were going to do this in advance, etc. But this is pretty much always the way it works with a mortgage. And why would she even have a problem with that? It’s still the same price. But more importantly... SHE IS A MORTGAGE LITIGATION PARALEGAL AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW THIS.

This is just one in a series of long, loud, seemingly pointless arguments she has gotten into with customer service representatives while I try in vain to ignore her.

"Wrong fuckin place at the wrong fuckin time!
I just can't get enough,
I just can't get enough,
Wrong fuckin place,
I just can't seem to get enough of

Aaah aaah ouch!"