Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

and?

He must be clubbed & skinned before he has a chance to breed.

Also I'd woken up an hour late and so had had no breakfast or coffee and my email was broken.

Grrr.

"people"

This is getting really bad so it is. I've got Stinkyman sitting opposite and The Phantom Carrier of Death Breath somewhere in the vicinity. What's going on?

I've been choking back the Wrigleys so I can rule myself out...

Well, next time they ask why I haven't created the reports, I'm just going to reforward the questions I asked and still haven't received an answer on. Grrrrrr.

Or rather, I had one, but I unplugged it a few weeks ago and have neglected to plug it back in because it was so peaceful without it.

Honestly - I don't do phones, *especially* for report modification. If someone asks me for specific modifications, I want a record of what was requested and by whom.

ITS THE STUFF IVE SPENT 3 MONTHS SAYING NEEDS F'ING DOING.

So, I agreed. WITH. An email that said, to HR, "I withdraw my resignation BUT this is a provisional 1 month trial pending discusson on what this role actually is" blah blah...

I have not yet had any discussion with said boss as to what they want me to stay FOR. I suspect I'm going to end up office dogsbody in lieu of being on a shift (which they've yoinked my extra shift allowance because of).

I still dont really know why they want to keep me here. I dunno wether to be flattered or shitted off. ARGH.

Are you sure they're not one and the same?

I finished the report I mentioned above, and the NITWITS in question of course have come back going "this is wrong!!!" but not providing any examples of what, specifically, is wrong. I felt like writing back and saying OF COURSE IT'S BLOODY WRONG BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF THE QUESTIONS I ASKED YOU EARLIER.

CNUTS. And I don't mean Danish kings.

oh well yeah. it has to be in writing but from my limited experience it's so much better to phone them to tell them to check their emails and remind them rather than sit and wait and be frustrated. oh god yes.

This has pretty much been my internal monologue all day today. Sadly I don't seem to have a choice :(

Trayce, I hope you get some definite info about the job. Why, if I can ask, did you withdraw your resignation - even temporarily - though? I thought you kind of hated this place?

Everyone's like "hey they're offering you whatever you want to stay!" but on reflection I dunno if thats quite it. They just dont want to lose a qualified, experienced, *knows the company process* ways* person, I think. But my email said "PROVISIONAL MONTH TRIAL" so in a month I may still fuck off. Depends how this pans out I spose.

Hell its a job. And the way the IR laws are about to die and rot here I shouldnt be so fussy :|

"The business have not received there daily reports from the complaints DB, please can you investigate and have the reports sent ASAP."

Since no-one in "the business" deigned to tell me they wanted to receive any reports today, or indeed on any day, what a fucking surprise, I hadn't turned it on yet. (Background - I'm developing the reports for the new complaints database which to my knowledge hasn't or hadn't until today gone live yet). This whole project has been a total mess. I just hope some of these people leave the company after Centrica sell us off.

(We are)

"Can you write a routine that will update all the records for Type X customers?"

"Um, is there a way to identify Type X customers in the database?" The database, incidentally, is the big contacts database, full of customers, suppliers, even competitors.

"Well, most of them should be flagged with Y. Or maybe Z. Oh, there might be some others, too. And some of the ones flagged with Y aren't customers. Oh, and can you catch all of the Type X customers who had the wrong categorisation entered in the first place?"

(neither of which I use - I do as much as I can in Perl using OLE calls to the LotusScript API)

The legacy system, however... problem is it's had too many people working on it, not commenting their code, and it's not just people making data entry errors, but the system itself creating duplicates and dirty data becuase no one knows exactly what bits of it do what. Also, oh yeah, a huge chunk of it (the bit that ran automatic scripts) just... disappeared when we changed systems.

And then people come to me with annoying little complaints going "this isn't like it used to be..." and I want to shout at them THAT'S BECAUSE THE WAY IT USED TO BE WAS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FUX0RED!!!!

Bleeding in front of your coworkers: C/D?

this makes me realise that i should count my blessings.

Gifts Secret Santa has given me in the past few years include:
- a key ring with a wee torch on it
- the novel adapted from the screenplay of Spiderman The Movie
- the cheapest most useless socket set in the world
- a Jenga set with tiny slidy plastic blocks
- a Celtic FC calendar which I wasn't allowed to hang up in the office

I should adopt my old boss's strategy.

Other 'thoughtful' gifts include: A forest of Magic Trees, a Glade plug in and a cake of carbolic soap.

Last year, I got a 3 little jars of Arran Aromatics lip balm, a box of Dairy Milk and a box of liqeur chocolates that were so undoubtedly an unwanted present from last year I almost cringed visibly. 3 lip balms, 2 boxes of chocs. I mean!

This is where you all tell me I'm an ungrateful bitch.