rolling lol FIFA thread

This is what we have all been waiting for:

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/jun/04/fifa-crisis-warner-says-avalanche-is-coming-as-blazer-testimony-is-heard

“Not even death will stop the avalanche that is coming” he said. “The die is cast. There can be no turning back. Let the chips fall where they fall.”

http://www.breakingnews.ie/sport/other/delaney-fifa-paid-fai-substantial-amount-after-henry-handball-680220.html

At this rate, FIFA is about to reveal that Leo Messi never existed.

BBC investigation: Warner's not innocent either http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-33039014

Bears, popes etc.

it's the right decision. it was never going to be a comfortable journey for fifa with such a weak blatter

― Frank 4ad (...), Tuesday, June 2, 2015 6:57 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

qatar?

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (...), Tuesday, June 2, 2015 6:58 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Okay, now I'm wondering if there's a fantastic pun doing the rounds that only I have missed up till now, or whether it's just a fantastic potential pun that only works if you know Norwegian: A traditional word for "urinary tract infection" in Norwegian translates directly into English as "bladder catarrh".

Sepp Blatter says he has not resigned as Fifa president.

http://www.raindance.org/wp-content/uploads/tumblr_m5vw1zRuT91qi0j6io1_500.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pqO6tK8_Wg

Like the sadness in his eyes in the still, like Drake in a strip club

expression on blatter's face as the cash rains down reminding me of

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02521/miliband_2521088b.jpg

No shortage of LOLs

CONCACAF & CONMEBOL heads arrested, again, today, along with others.

also this happened

http://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/story_large/public/thumbnails/image/2015/12/03/14/Issa-Hayatou.jpg

lonely guy

Sepp Blatter and the longtime Fifa president’s one-time heir apparent, Michel Platini, have been banned from football for eight years, ending the career of the former and definitively derailing the vaulting ambitions of the latter.

The Fifa ethics committee, chaired by the German judge Hans-Joachim Eckert, has ruled that both men should be banned despite their protestations that they did nothing wrong when Blatter paid the Uefa president 2m Swiss francs (£1.35m) in 2011, nine years after both men claimed it was originally due.

The committee found that: “Mr Blatter, in his position as president of Fifa, authorised the payment to Mr Platini which had no legal basis in the written agreement signed between both officials on 25 August 1999. Neither in his written statement nor in his personal hearing was Mr Blatter able to demonstrate another legal basis for this payment. His assertion of an oral agreement was determined as not convincing and was rejected by the chamber.”

In addition to being banned, Blatter was fined 50,000 Swiss francs or £34,000 and Platini 80,000 Swiss francs or £54,000.

Blatter conducting a classic press conference right now, juicy quotes left, right and centre.

This + the results of the Spanish election = my kind of xmas.

Let's go, FIFA!

habeas fifam

Switzerland 12 points

Fifa presidential election: Gianni Infantino succeeds Sepp Blatter
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35673743

...Prince Ali bin al-Hussein was third with four, while Jerome Champagne failed to get any. Tokyo Sexwale withdrew before voting began in Zurich....

Tokyo sexwale what a name

https://sports.vice.com/en_us/article/the-soap-opera-actress-who-captured-chuck-blazers-heart

And here we go

http://deadspin.com/fifa-finally-releases-full-world-cup-corruption-report-1796454359

Hi Mr Warner:
Jamaica owes the english FA 215,000 USD and another 18500 USD
to a private english firm. You are one of the most powerful man in
Football and the english FA were at our CFU Congress. Mr
Warner is it possible for you to ask the english FA to waive Jamaica
debt. This is an emergency. - Neville Pennant

could quote from the warner / england 2018 section all night, comedy gold

A good local rundown on the bits of the report relating to Uncle Jack.

http://wired868.com/2017/06/29/longdenville-haiti-and-the-bankers-son-how-fifas-garcia-report-shatters-the-jack-warner-myth/

5. Efforts to Mask Ties to Messrs. Beckenbauer and Radmann

Internal bid team correspondence and documents indicate that Australia 2022 officials actively tried to conceal aspects of Fedor Radmann’s role with the bid team because of Mr. Radmann’s ties to Franz Beckenbauer. [...] Later in his email, Mr. Hargitay wrote:

"In order to maintain maximum confidentiality, I want to name our project “Road through Babylon” and our two key contacts “F&F.”"

lol

I'll lol only if Qatar gets (literally) cancelled.

that's fair

One can dream, I'spose

The year is 1986. The sign on Maradona's shirt says "No drugs" , on Platini's "No to corruption" 🤣 pic.twitter.com/8VTJosPxZL

— Rumen Tabakov (@minimal1023) October 5, 2019

lool

Sadly Platini's doesnt say no corruption

No rogues.

Revealed: 6,500 migrant workers have died in Qatar as it gears up for World Cup

off to a good start

World Cup in Qatar is off to a hot start….the other day we got a peak into the Fyre Fest looking tent city for fans and now a Danish TV reporter is forced off air while live by Qatari security pic.twitter.com/UUYzp7ojI1

— Wu-Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) November 16, 2022

Greek salad at the Qatar World Cup fan zone

🇶🇦 38 Rial (£9) pic.twitter.com/K5taOhM9Q3

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) November 16, 2022

Fyre Festival Presents... World Cup 2022

and Murder Inc. artist Ja Rule *will* be performing “Always Off Side” during the opening ceremony

irlol