rolling lol FIFA thread

The violence of the stupidity on display here is just...
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/05/fifa-arrest-silver-lining.html

This sort of open acceptance of vice and corruption, however, is antithetical to the way Americans think about sports.

Compared to the way the rest of the world thinks about sports, of course

LOL USA

We are now the world’s sports cop.

SPORTS COPS this fall on CBS

This sort of open acceptance of vice and corruption, however, is antithetical to the way Americans think about sports.

For a start, we think about sport not sports.

I love the part where he tries to replicate how us anti-americans think about american imperialism, and it comes out like this: 'Oh, now that soccer means something to you, you have to make it more American by cleaning it up.' Yes. That's how anti-americans think, the ayatollahs are always complaining about america cleaning places up.

You are aligning yourself with the ayatollahs?

I think "cleaning it up" is maybe meant to sound more sarcastic sounding than you are reading it. I think it's pretty astute article but what do I know I am probably an American imperialist at heart.

i'm sepptical there will be big lasting changes to FIFA tho

That NY Mag writer needs to learn about Traffic Sports USA if he really thinks we're so righteous in our sporting pursuits.

https://worldsoccertalk.com/2015/05/27/nasls-ties-with-indicted-president-of-traffic-sports-usa-aaron-davidson-run-deep/

Also Traffic-related: http://espn.go.com/sports/soccer/news/_/id/5764564/anguish-gale-agbossoumonde

the NY Mag writer appears to be about 11 years old so i guess there's time for him to learn about that stuff

xxp two soccer leagues few in states care about are evidence of what?

x-posts: Hm, I might have missed an 'also' in there.

Tons of people in the rest of the world care about corruption in FIFA - most of what has come to light has been through UK reporting, right? - but only US had the combination of 1) one of the central corrupt people being american, meaning loads of shit took place on US soil and b) the power to force the swiss to arrest people in switzerland.

Senator and former Brazilian footballer Romário stated that "unfortunately, it wasn't our police that arrested them, but someone had to eventually arrest them one day"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/03/how-a-curmudgeonly-old-reporter-exposed-the-fifa-scandal-that-toppled-sepp-blatter/

“I know that they are criminal scum, and I’ve known it for years,” he said. “And that is a thoughtful summation. That is not an insult. That is not throwing about wild words.”

“These scum have stolen the people’s sport. They’ve stolen it, the cynical thieving bastards,” he said. “So, yes, it’s nice to see the fear on their faces.”

Chuck Blazer's unsealed guilty plea:

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/2093153-blazer.html

http://chuckblazer.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/my-blog-gets-name-change.html

On my couch, sitting near enough to be part of the conversation was the translator; while on Mr. Putin's was Vitaly Mutko. The conversation began in a normal enough way, each of us thanking the other for making time for the visit. Genial welcomes continued until at one moment, he looked at me with a very serious gaze and said, without cracking a smile, "You know, you look like Karl Marx!"

I guess I could have responded to his observation in any of a dozen unpredictable ways. Instead, I simply winked at him and said, "I know". This brought an immediate response with him lifting his right arm up in the air and thrusting it forward to give me my first High-5 from a Prime Minister.

His blog is all-time

lol at Putin-Animal-Trainer-At-Large photo series

This is what we have all been waiting for:

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/jun/04/fifa-crisis-warner-says-avalanche-is-coming-as-blazer-testimony-is-heard

“Not even death will stop the avalanche that is coming” he said. “The die is cast. There can be no turning back. Let the chips fall where they fall.”

http://www.breakingnews.ie/sport/other/delaney-fifa-paid-fai-substantial-amount-after-henry-handball-680220.html

At this rate, FIFA is about to reveal that Leo Messi never existed.

BBC investigation: Warner's not innocent either http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-33039014

Bears, popes etc.

it's the right decision. it was never going to be a comfortable journey for fifa with such a weak blatter

― Frank 4ad (...), Tuesday, June 2, 2015 6:57 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

qatar?

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (...), Tuesday, June 2, 2015 6:58 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Okay, now I'm wondering if there's a fantastic pun doing the rounds that only I have missed up till now, or whether it's just a fantastic potential pun that only works if you know Norwegian: A traditional word for "urinary tract infection" in Norwegian translates directly into English as "bladder catarrh".

Sepp Blatter says he has not resigned as Fifa president.

http://www.raindance.org/wp-content/uploads/tumblr_m5vw1zRuT91qi0j6io1_500.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pqO6tK8_Wg

Like the sadness in his eyes in the still, like Drake in a strip club

expression on blatter's face as the cash rains down reminding me of

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02521/miliband_2521088b.jpg

No shortage of LOLs

CONCACAF & CONMEBOL heads arrested, again, today, along with others.

also this happened

http://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/story_large/public/thumbnails/image/2015/12/03/14/Issa-Hayatou.jpg

lonely guy

Sepp Blatter and the longtime Fifa president’s one-time heir apparent, Michel Platini, have been banned from football for eight years, ending the career of the former and definitively derailing the vaulting ambitions of the latter.

The Fifa ethics committee, chaired by the German judge Hans-Joachim Eckert, has ruled that both men should be banned despite their protestations that they did nothing wrong when Blatter paid the Uefa president 2m Swiss francs (£1.35m) in 2011, nine years after both men claimed it was originally due.

The committee found that: “Mr Blatter, in his position as president of Fifa, authorised the payment to Mr Platini which had no legal basis in the written agreement signed between both officials on 25 August 1999. Neither in his written statement nor in his personal hearing was Mr Blatter able to demonstrate another legal basis for this payment. His assertion of an oral agreement was determined as not convincing and was rejected by the chamber.”

In addition to being banned, Blatter was fined 50,000 Swiss francs or £34,000 and Platini 80,000 Swiss francs or £54,000.

Blatter conducting a classic press conference right now, juicy quotes left, right and centre.

This + the results of the Spanish election = my kind of xmas.

Let's go, FIFA!

habeas fifam

Switzerland 12 points

Fifa presidential election: Gianni Infantino succeeds Sepp Blatter
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35673743

...Prince Ali bin al-Hussein was third with four, while Jerome Champagne failed to get any. Tokyo Sexwale withdrew before voting began in Zurich....

Tokyo sexwale what a name

https://sports.vice.com/en_us/article/the-soap-opera-actress-who-captured-chuck-blazers-heart

And here we go

http://deadspin.com/fifa-finally-releases-full-world-cup-corruption-report-1796454359

Hi Mr Warner:
Jamaica owes the english FA 215,000 USD and another 18500 USD
to a private english firm. You are one of the most powerful man in
Football and the english FA were at our CFU Congress. Mr
Warner is it possible for you to ask the english FA to waive Jamaica
debt. This is an emergency. - Neville Pennant

could quote from the warner / england 2018 section all night, comedy gold

A good local rundown on the bits of the report relating to Uncle Jack.

http://wired868.com/2017/06/29/longdenville-haiti-and-the-bankers-son-how-fifas-garcia-report-shatters-the-jack-warner-myth/

5. Efforts to Mask Ties to Messrs. Beckenbauer and Radmann

Internal bid team correspondence and documents indicate that Australia 2022 officials actively tried to conceal aspects of Fedor Radmann’s role with the bid team because of Mr. Radmann’s ties to Franz Beckenbauer. [...] Later in his email, Mr. Hargitay wrote:

"In order to maintain maximum confidentiality, I want to name our project “Road through Babylon” and our two key contacts “F&F.”"

lol