Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

Somebody should've stood up after that one guy and asked Weird Al a question about a HAY CARRIAGE, like why is Iowa always on the forefront of these things?

I'm IE about authors reading from their books. Like, that's not the way they wrote it (most of the time) and that's not the way you're supposed to absorb it (most of the time.)

I once saw Nicholson Baker read from The Fermata, and boy. whew.

they don't like it either fwiw, at least not the one i know

my favorite talkback was at a moma film that i went to when i first moved to nyc and was on the autodidactic film school tip and it was an experimental thing from the late seventies without narrative playing on a wednesday afternoon matiness and there was a constant return to a kaleidoscopic shot of some guy jacking off for the camera with emokid voiceover and this went on for like two hours. most of the audience left but i was in full-on "I WILL LEARN SOMETHING HERE" mode and I stuck it out until at the end it was me and 7 senior citizens and the film ends with nothing offered except i think the dude finally came i guess? so they bring the director out and whattayaknow, it's clearly the jackin' it dude. "Questions?" and each of the seven senior citizens got up and lectured the guy about the filmmaking process and what was he thinking, etc along the lines of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svGAQJYIRqQ

Yes, readings by writers in general are often IE. Writing is one skill and orating is another altogether, and it's rare to find someone who's spent time honing both skills.

I can't believe this hasn't been listed so far because it might be one of the most innocuous, most embarrassing things ever: Q&As at movie screenings/book readings/etc.

― Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, May 28, 2015 11:14 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

THIS x1000

I saw Kathleen Hanna recently and I'm drawing a blank but some of the questions that people asked were just horrifying.

Oh god - One gay guy got up and talked about how since he was gay he used terms like "girl" and "bitch" a lot when talking to his friends and that made him feel conflicted so he asked what she thought of this. She was like, "Uh, maybe don't call people "bitch"?"

Also - I once saw Nicholson Baker read from The Fermata, and boy. whew.

― pplains, Thursday, May 28, 2015 3:11 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg

public q&a is always embarrassing to me

ppl are terrible at asking questions

Every time someone gets up to the microphone at any Q&A inside I'm going "no just sit down this isn't going to end well for anyone please control yourself dude just sit down!".

Also - I once saw Nicholson Baker read from The Fermata, and boy. whew.

― pplains, Thursday, May 28, 2015 3:11 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh wow.

Like good speeches, the only good Q&A questions are those that begin with "Webster's defines...".

it is a rare person who asks a question that anyone would ever want/need the answer to

like, if you said the question out loud to yourself in the car beforehand you would have never opened your mouth but here we all are watching u have yr moment :/

even webinar q&a's at work just devolve into such mundane myopic stupidity THERE ARE OTHER PPL WHO HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU STOP BEING SO LAME

The little girl asking WAY about his favorite cartoon is extremely cute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1nDZEPHzmg

Oh god another art one I went to involved an artist who did sketches/designs of these weird magical creatures and the exhibit was mostly three dimensional ones made by a Hollywood-style creature shop. Half the questions were " so you did not actually make these?" And variations along that line

when an actor who is known for doing impressions/voicing a cartoon is on 'inside the actors studio' and james lipton is like "can i speak with..........Mr. Al Pacino please?" and the actor makes this 'i'm getting into character now" face and then responds in the voice. it's the worst thing, ever.

"Who else is in there?"

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1DZjLKIMlhc/UsF9VUUDnuI/AAAAAAAAEAQ/14aslBq4S1U/s1600/the-shining-redrum.jpg

This thread: What sounds 'cutting edge' in 2015?

i was about to post 1,000 words or so of "the life cycle of a leaf" on that thread earlier, but then i decided i didn't even want to contribute that.

Like many things that make me embarrassed, it reminds me of myself when I was like 18/19.

people who have bumper stickers displaying the college they went to

non-americans who say or write 'mom'

adults who call their parents 'mummy/mommy' or 'daddy'

People who call their significant other/spouse mommy or daddy.

And not like, in front of the kids.

calling sneakers/tennis shoes "tennies"

people who have bumper stickers displaying the college they went

I know this is going to encompass a lot of people I know and love but I have a hard time with serious alumni boosterism in general. Like people who dress themselves and their babies in school gear and have their pictures taken or who go on alumni golf outings.

yesssss

the idea that college sports is our common touchstone that binds us together

holy shit that is not me

hah, the UT fanaticism I see in my neighborhood is mind boggling

we have a neighbor who carved a big tree stump in their front yard into a giant hook 'em horns hand, which is illuminated at night. They have a trailer that they presumably bring with them for tailgating at big games that opens up to reveal a big screen TV. On many weekends we see them with a bunch of friends sitting on lawn chairs in their driveway watching the game on their big screen TV trailer. In December they have an illuminated santa with sleigh, except it is all in orange and the sleigh is pulled by a longhorn.

hook em santa

EMBARRASSING THINGS

• While entertaining a visitor, one hears some servants chatting without any restraint in one of the back rooms. It is embarrassing to know that one's visitor can overhear. But how to stop them?
• A man whom one loves gets drunk and keeps repeating himself.
• To have spoken about someone not knowing that he could overhear. This is embarrassing even if it be a servant or some other completely insignificant person.
• To hear one's servants making merry. This is equally annoying if one is on a journey and staying in cramped quarters or at home and hears the servants in a neighbouring room.
• Parents, convinced that their ugly child is adorable, pet him and repeat the things he has said, imitating his voice.
• An ignoramus who in the presence of some learned person puts on a knowing air and converses about men of old.
• A man recites his own poems (not especially good ones) and tells one about the praise they have received -- most embarrassing.
• Lying awake at night, one says something to one's companion, who simply goes on sleeping.
• An adopted son-in-law who has long since stopped visiting his wife runs into his father-in-law in a public place.

Awesome, mookieproof! <3 :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gm29WZpBJc

adults who call their parents 'mummy/mommy' or 'daddy'

― just1n3, Thursday, June 4, 2015 11:40 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This bothers me so so much. It's fucking creepy and wrong.

http://i.imgur.com/W2skMaD.jpg

Couples who baby-talk to each other in public

I'm IE about authors reading from their books. Like, that's not the way they wrote it (most of the time) and that's not the way you're supposed to absorb it (most of the time.)

I once saw Nicholson Baker read from The Fermata, and boy. whew.

Yeah this is mostly OTM for me too with the exception of the two Davids - Sedaris and Berman. Most notably though, I don't think I will ever recover from the first time I heard Bukowski's voice.

http://www.ubu.com/sound/bukowski.html

my christian co-worker's beliefs

not the fact that she believes in god or anything, but eg we were talking about some health thing or other (she is kind of obsessed with carcinogenic or otherwise harmful things in foods &c) and I happened to mention that life expectancy is greater than it used to be, & she was like "no, ppl are actually living shorter lives because if you look at the history of bible times ppl like moses lived for hundreds of years". This has come up before, I just have to change the subject. Obv it makes no difference to me if a grown-up scientist genuinely believes that the human lifespan used to be 900 years, but I can't help it. I cringe.

she's a scientist? wow

Some of these crazy fuckers also believed Moses was 12ft tall and no doubt co-existed with dinosaurs a la flinstones.

omg wins

the people who keep going on about antioxidants and magic berries are one thing, but comparing lifespans to biblical ones is next level

embarrassingly irrational I suppose. listening to someone come out with this stuff fills me with a sort of deep dread, partly the panic of feeling that a windbag positivist might be lurking nearby listening with relish as they power up for battle

Unless it's a trained speaker, I really hate hearing people read aloud. At first I thought it was only in cases where someone else is reading from my own writing (which is totally yeeeeech!) but my friend insisted on reading me some lyrics from a song he liked the other day and I just had to put up with it in cringey silence.

oh god, we have a homeopath at work. I think I mentioned elsewhere that he was giving a talk about it at work during a 'green week' type event. Anyway even though I'm sure I'd argue with him on the internet about it I wouldn't want to bring it up irl as I hardly know him.
But I would just totally tense up when I could hear this 'Mr Rational' type guy at work come up and try to talk reasonably about it, asking 'friendly' questions etc. Just could not stand it.

That "OOOOH RA OOOOH RA" thing that army dudes do.

People who make a habit of writing "meaningful" and "touching" Facebook status updates.

I've always felt i embarrassed about being served by others, like in restaurants and barber's shops.
When I was very little I saw a cartoon or a picture of a man sitting down to dinner and having an enormous napkin tied round his neck by a waiter. Since then I've harboured an irrational fear that this would some day happen to me.
At children's parties, I avoided having my face painted; not because I didn't want face paint on me, but more to do with the idea of servitude on behalf of the painter unto me.
These days I always get my haircut by the same person - a friend who runs his own place - because it feels less like I'm paying a stranger for their time to treat me.
I also hate it when I'm at a restaurant with a group of people and no one thanks the waiting staff when they deliver dishes/cutlery or act like they're not there at all.