rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

breakfast aaron

http://media.giphy.com/media/13duXCtewq1cpG/giphy.gif

i don't know, are we still talking about this

http://i.imgur.com/6RTxzwt.jpg

i feel like we kinda subvocally agreed it's a bad idea to allow the idea headspace in case it metastasizes

Wouldnt Breakstafarian make more sense argh my brain hurts now.

or even Breakfast-afarian
yo though, it's creepy to see that Hamburglar glove show up on random McD's commercials now

hamburglar just gives me mad craigslist vibes now #nohomo

His glove does what now?

Keeps his hands from smelling like McDonald's all day and reminding him of the terrible mistake he made in stealing one of their grey-meat burgers slathered in corn syrup ketchup and rehydrated onion bits leftover from World War 2.

http://www.grubstreet.com/2015/05/the-story-of-the-hamburger.html

Shallal, convinced that fast food in general was in eclipse and being overtaken by restaurants like Shake Shack, spoke in the visionary tones of someone present at the birth of a utopia. When I asked how his app makes money, he smiled beatifically. “It doesn’t make money,” he said. “It’s for the people. This is our contribution to the burger world.”

FOR THE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

Btw that new STUFT NACHO from Taco Bell is some really simple, tasty, deadly stuff.

aka TBD tasty but deadly

staind nacho

gotta be trapt nacho

seriously though it is tops on my recent list of garbage that I put into my body

http://www.foodrepublic.com/2015/06/02/eating-my-way-through-weird-hard-rock-cafe-world-b

monterey jack cheese, the most scottish of all the cheeses

shouldve saved it for the australian burger, obv

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/37100000/Monterey-Jack-chip-n-dale-rescue-rangers-37108933-300-259.jpg

“It's a big sandwich, bro,” the manager adds.

President Camacho approves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjSJj_Pdjys

http://www.businessinsider.com/pizza-hut-box-turns-into-movie-projector-for-your-smartphone-2015-6

the food laboratory team must be shaking their fists in deep frustration. their R&D budgets slashed, the funds transferred to the box people, and all for a blurry, muffled projection of low-res video. maybe now headquarters will finally listen.

do mainstream pizza chains even still offer anchovies? i dunno anyone who orders anchovies.

Pizza Hut still so far behind in the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW2D_Votd2Y

When I worked at Dominos (like 20 years ago now) the hatred for anchovies was strong enough that there was a standard topping code of EBA for "everything but anchovies".

But someone would order them like once a month, so there was always one can of anchovies in the walk-in and it was big production of getting grossed out when we had to open it to top a pizza and the drivers would fight over who had to deliver those pizzas cause they made your car stink more than usual and people who ordered anchovies were inherently weirdos who were not to be trusted.

well now i feel bad fer the little guys

wow, i had no idea.

.. types forks, eating his third anchovy slice of the day

they're delicious don't judge me

forsksclovechovies

IGNORE THAT TYPO
IGNORE IT

forksclovetochovieupizza

http://thumbnails.hulu.com/14/229/64706_512x288_generated__UyJgtu2qukWcCTJOCT2gUQ.jpg

(I like em, personally)

they are very salty and so cool with me. this also led me to read about the history of the Caesar salad on wikipedia.

The original Caesar salad recipe (unlike his brother Alex's Aviator's salad) did not contain pieces of anchovy; the slight anchovy flavor comes from the Worcestershire sauce. Cardini was opposed to using anchovies in his salad.

Cardini otm

I'll come around eventually, I just had a sardine that I thought was something else years ago and the surprise flavor explosion bruised my explorative tendencies

too salty

i have honestly never had 'CHOVIEZ on a pizza but i do like em. fish on pizza seems barbaric and potentially not kosher.

nah it's kosher, fish is parve

in my current (French) town there are only two main pizza options: cheese or anchovies (without cheese). you can get other stuff on yr pie but that's mainly for tourists. so I've come to love the briny fish on a tomato sauced slice

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3916/14846246950_179bf1dc1a.jpg

The best pizza topping set: anchovies, pepperoni, capers, and garlic, whole black olives optional. A friend of mine used to call this the "misanthrope special".

intermediate-level umami

Love how of all those things the olives are optional

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/336a81a736eb4a9483e62a6ad98a8501/throwing-shade-taco-bell-execs-bone-youth-lingo

language laboratory innovations

That proved true last year when he spoke at a presentation by Taco Bell parent company Yum Brands Inc., which also owns KFC and Pizza Hut. At the time, Niccol informed the audience of analysts and investors about the millennial phrase "on cleek," which he explained meant "on point."

Later, the website Buzzfeed noted that Niccol had meant to say "on fleek." In a conversation with The Associated Press, Niccol said his social media team was quick to correct him after the meeting.

"The next day they were like, 'You were close'," Niccol said. "I accused them of telling me it's 'on cleek'."

"In the end, that's how Taco Bell stays relevant," Niccol said.

Rad pandering, G. Keep gleaming that cube, hepcats!

see you on the flippity flop tacajos

Megan Jasper, a 25-year-old sales representative at Caroline Records in Seattle, provided this lexicon of grunge speak, coming soon to a high school or mall near you:

WACK SLACKS: Old ripped jeans

FUZZ: Heavy wool sweaters

PLATS: Platform shoes

KICKERS: Heavy boots

SWINGIN' ON THE FLIPPITY-FLOP: Hanging out

BOUND-AND-HAGGED: Staying home on Friday or Saturday night

SCORE: Great

HARSH REALM: Bummer

COB NOBBLER: Loser

DISH: Desirable guy

BLOATED, BIG BAG OF BLOATATION: Drunk

LAMESTAIN: Uncool person

TOM-TOM CLUB: Uncool outsiders

ROCK ON: A happy goodbye

Looking forward to the très cleek Taco Bell Bloated, Big Bag of Bloatation, for a limited time only.

http://media2.s-nbcnews.com/j/newscms/2015_24/624466/pizzahut-hotdogpizza-today-150610_bf254d3344c1083af4ef19f40db60ad1.today-inline-large.jpg

http://www.today.com/food/pizza-hut-confirms-hot-dog-stuffed-crust-pizza-coming-america-t25591