rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

And hell, YUM! is based in Louisville, they should totally work on that.

in my experience, the two-brand ones have a single counter where you can order items from the combined menu, whereas the three-brand ones are sometimes large enough to have three distinct counters to order from

I want a single, transdimensional counter that, as the customer stands fixed, whirls through space and time to access all menu lines and dayparts, past and present. Not the future, though; there'd be nothing to hope for, nor reason to keep on living.

You've seen these before, but they still kill me:

http://i.imgur.com/xR9uYy3.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/JBd8f6k.jpg

half expecting to see a stargate in the background

Ricky Gervais has been responsible for one or two good things.

http://i.imgur.com/fPqkM0t.jpg

"They will last for thousands of years, and on one day, Pharaoh, your Sphinx will photobomb some tourist eating at the Pizza Hut across the street."

http://i.imgur.com/AuEJJkz.jpg

lol

pyramid with a jaunty hat

I want a single, transdimensional counter that, as the customer stands fixed, whirls through space and time to access all menu lines and dayparts, past and present.

Interstellar spoiler

http://usedtobeapizzahut.blogspot.com

excellent

That's great! Wish there was one for old IHOPs. I remember an Indian restaurant outside of Princeton, NJ with that old triangular style building.

there's an old KFC down the street from me that has been a taco shop for several years, they literally just today added some signage on the exterior conveying that inside tacos are for sale

PHPD
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--NMK6NHK3--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/jogcjoxdz4chbeptblph.jpg

That is now a bbq restaurant called Jethro's

(it's in my neighborhood)

i could swear i linked this recently but looking back maybe it was another thread. anyway:

Not Fooling Anybody: A Chronicle of Bad Conversions and Storefronts Past

the police station one now looks like this:
http://www.jethrosdesmoines.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_0212-1024x682.jpg

xp Hat Creek!!!

http://i58.tinypic.com/10xvka9.jpg

http://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/carl-s-jr-testing-flamin-hot-cheetos-burger

They already have the incredible weather and great tacos, but here's yet another reason to hate LA: they're the only ones with the Carl's Jr. Flamin' Hot Cheetos burger. A Wreckless Eating fan named James tipped the site off to the new item, which features the bright red Cheetos and a cheddar cheese sauce atop a beef patty. (Along with lettuce, tomato, and what looks like pepper Jack cheese.) Little else is known about the Thickburger for now, but if you come across it, you should order it without hesitation. Because remember: Flamin' Hot Cheetos are a health food.

Carl's Jr. are the fucking worst IMHO. They treat the disgusting-oversized-coronary-burger competition like an arms race and have lame, porny commercials. Shitty fries, too, since they got rid of their original zig-zag formed mashed potato fry recipe.

PHPD
― slam dunk, Thursday, May 14, 2015 12:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/dyXXnxA.png

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/ihop-restaurants-support-breakfastarian-community-300085363.html

IHOP has been tapping into the philosophy behind the breakfastarian belief that breakfast can be enjoyed day or night since it opened the first restaurant in 1958.

"IHOP restaurants are famous the world over as the expert in breakfast items that guests love, like our legendary buttermilk pancakes, waffles and omelettes, and as the place where you have always been able to go to enjoy a great breakfast any time of day," said Kirk Thompson, Vice President, Marketing, International House of Pancakes, LLC. "So not only are we fully behind the breakfastarian community, you could say that we are breakfastarians ourselves."

Breakfastarian

as someone who loves anytime breakfast i'm mortified at the term

I was just coming to terms with Pastafarian.

this wouldn't mean more praying, would it

WTF people eat breakfast til 4PM here all the time and I have never heard "breakfastarian" before. Jesus.

Nobody had heard of that phrase until the marketing department of the IHOP released it into the world this week.

I'm at IHOP right now. I'm going to declare myself as a breakfastarian and see what happens. Maybe I'll get free pancakes.

Ooo maybe they'll give me a job in marketing.

ffs

http://41.media.tumblr.com/0bcf835e9846e59229fb0529715efc52/tumblr_no958fUARL1uvvcf8o1_250.jpg

This is the second time I've been in this IHOP and they've played a TERRIBLE Beatles megamix where all the songs are slowed down just enough to make me think I'm having a mild stroke. They used to just play local R&B/pop radio, which was 10000000x better, but this seems to be some kind of oldies satellite radio. Probably part of the terrible breakfastarian marketing push. I feel sorry for the young people who work here.

Breakfast Aryan

breakfast aaron

http://media.giphy.com/media/13duXCtewq1cpG/giphy.gif

i don't know, are we still talking about this

http://i.imgur.com/6RTxzwt.jpg

i feel like we kinda subvocally agreed it's a bad idea to allow the idea headspace in case it metastasizes

Wouldnt Breakstafarian make more sense argh my brain hurts now.

or even Breakfast-afarian
yo though, it's creepy to see that Hamburglar glove show up on random McD's commercials now

hamburglar just gives me mad craigslist vibes now #nohomo

His glove does what now?

Keeps his hands from smelling like McDonald's all day and reminding him of the terrible mistake he made in stealing one of their grey-meat burgers slathered in corn syrup ketchup and rehydrated onion bits leftover from World War 2.

http://www.grubstreet.com/2015/05/the-story-of-the-hamburger.html

Shallal, convinced that fast food in general was in eclipse and being overtaken by restaurants like Shake Shack, spoke in the visionary tones of someone present at the birth of a utopia. When I asked how his app makes money, he smiled beatifically. “It doesn’t make money,” he said. “It’s for the people. This is our contribution to the burger world.”

FOR THE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

Btw that new STUFT NACHO from Taco Bell is some really simple, tasty, deadly stuff.

aka TBD tasty but deadly

staind nacho

gotta be trapt nacho

seriously though it is tops on my recent list of garbage that I put into my body

http://www.foodrepublic.com/2015/06/02/eating-my-way-through-weird-hard-rock-cafe-world-b

monterey jack cheese, the most scottish of all the cheeses