Sex Droughts

http://i.imgur.com/b9zobm6.png

Er, well, yes. That was unexpected.

Never thought a drought of two weeks would feel long, but.

to clarify: did not make like bunnies with gr80

2 weeks. bless.

h8 this thread tbh

Who's sleeping in your sleeping bag, sleepingbag?

it's more of a sad sack

Look, my drought lasted for 3 or 4 years prior to last month.

mine was 4 years since a disappointing one-off preceded by 1 year

Re: the "disappointing" part, I'm starting to suspect having droughts is in part responsible for how meh the sex is after the wait

When you take that first drink of water after crossing the desert, it fires up the sandpaper in your throat.

Three months for me. My skin's getting pasty.

8 months :(

15 months, more or less

suggested thread image:

http://greenprophet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/water-gaza-israel.jpg

Didn't we talk about starting a thread for posting 'my sex drought is over' posts so as not to look all fucking smug in this one?

Probably not worth the trouble. I'm happy other people are getting laid.

Have there been any agreements on definitions in this thread?

I mean, on one hand, I sort of think I've had a drought since 2010. I've had sprinkles, but were they enough to be considered a break in drought?

Actually if someone could come up with terms to use in extending the metaphor, that would be great.

By my standards, skin-skin contact in the no-no zone counts.

Yes I've had some of that over the years but it's becoming like afternoon cloudbursts that just make it feel muggier.

Plainly put, since 2009: 0 PIB, a couple PIM a few years ago, handful of vigorous cuddles & pawing, and among all that, only 1 completion back in Fall 2009. That last part is weird. Like its just not done anymore or we're too shy.

My gf and I have been having some weird friction, from her stressful demanding job, my general cluelessness/inexperience at being in a relationship, a lot of other things, and we haven't had sex in over two months. Which is a sudden drop from an average of about 10-12 times a week, and it is driving me up the fucking wall.

Has it been noted and discussed, or has it just crept up on you? The "oh this will be for a while" and the while keeps getting longer is a bit of a killer.

was that avg at the start of the relationship

TT i'm in a nearly identical spot

also 2 wisks

Which is a sudden drop from an average of about 10-12 times a week

well that's clearly unsustainable

yeah but you don't usually go from that much to overnight NO MORE SEX.

have either of you guys actually talked to your GFs about this?

i have, and i know exactly what it's about, and there's not a lot i can do about it, unfortunately.

I have here as well, and it's complicated, to the point where we considered breaking up. That was a month ago, and we're working on turning it around, but with her new work schedule I hardly ever get to see her. That was the average as of about 6 months into the relationship; part of what was so great for both of us was finding somebody who was going to keep up... Also not helping: I finally ditched Zyrtec for Claritin D, and while I'm finding I can breathe easily through my nose for the first time in years I'm also learning that the dose of Sudafed in a 24-hour Claritin D makes me MAD horny :/

good tip.

Is there still physical intimacy? Is the no-sex situation likely to ease off within a finite period? The sex thing isn't a result of your actions or words?

If yes to all these questions, just chill and get yourself off. Nbd.

If sex is so important that you can't live without it for long period, maybe you're not suited to each other.

i was being serious, not snarky, with that last sentence btw.

if there's a current lack of any kind of physical intimacy, i'd be pretty concerned, though.

if there's a current lack of any kind of physical intimacy, i'd be pretty concerned, though.

― just1n3, Tuesday, July 21, 2015 3:51 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i am.

tfw when ur 40 and 5-6 pints ruins u

L

met a woman who refers to ending a sex drought as "getting the poison out"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeOcCo77k0Q

2 wisks

went on a first date with someone who managed to tell me what an amazing time she was having immediately prior to shoving my hand down her shirt and grab my junk...and then pretty much lose interest in me two days later. the drought continues.

(actually not that bummed about it. I was somewhat taken back by how aggressive she was on a first date when we barely knew each other and I wasn't at all approaching it as a "friends with benefits" arrangement. woulda been up for more, didn't work out....probably for the best)

We went a calendar year without sex after our first child was born (she's a november baby) which I found pretty difficult to deal with. But she didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time for basically two years, so, there's that. Married 8 years now and sex is something that happens every few weeks or months. Child 2 arrived in February so I'm not even hoping for anything for another couple of months at the least. Just had a vasectomy and hope that removes a layer of anxiety and logistics which hampered sex sometimes before.

[moderator note: several posts in this thread have been deleted on user's request]

Ask T.S. Eliot and John Ruskin.

Depends how good the food is

That question needs a lot of context in order to be answered.
Is it sexless because there’s no physical attraction, one-sided or mutual? Is it due to trauma experienced by one partner? Are there still other forms of physical intimacy? Is it due to chronic health issues? Is it lack of communication? By “sexless”, do you mean absolutely zero sexual intimacy (kissing, touching, cuddling etc) or actual sex (anything to do with genitals)?

I could go the rest of my life without straight-up sex acts if I had to, but not without other kinds of physical intimacy at all.

<3 u buddy

If I were you I would try explaining it to her like much like you are here

Is there any potential option of opening things up?

there are lots of options and in-betweens, the only way to find something that might work is to start talking about it with her. worst thing you can do is not talk about it. use lots of "i feel x" statements.

I’m at about 7 years btw.

"we have sex from time to time" is a reasonable expectation in marriage. couples therapy, which don't get me wrong sounds scary to me, is what I think most people would recommend. you are not being unkind or selfish to say "I don't want to just never have sex with anybody" -- be kind to yourself about this.