rolling fuck this shit worst songs of 2015 thread

Cant wait to find out whether Blake or brad gets to be the guy at a country music awards show who talks about someone with a hot wife and then sings "I got a guy crush" to applause

"girl crush," as an expression, I thought expressed or expresses something important for which it felt like there hadn't been a good phrase before. an experience people had and recognized. ime it was never "no homo" in the way that "man crush" usually got laden with (due to bro-ist usage from pretty early on i think, and much more commonly used as "YOU have a man crush on him, ha ha ha!"). it was a good thing for our culture to have more ways of women expressing admiration, solidarity, and even the kind of passionate but not necessarily sexual (but not necessarily not) feelings you can have towards other people, especially when you're young and they just seem so tremendously awesome and amazing. but our pop music just leaves this all behind.

woolf:

It was protective, on her side; sprang from a sense of being in league together, a presentiment of something that was bound to part them (they spoke of marriage always as a catastrophe), which led to this chivalry, this protective feeling which was much more on her side than Sally's. For in those days she was completely reckless; did the most idiotic things out of bravado; bicycled round the parapet on the terrace; smoked cigars. Absurd, she was--very absurd. But the charm was overpowering, to her at least, so that she could remember standing in her bedroom at the top of the house holding the hot-water can in her hands and saying aloud, "She is beneath this roof.... She is beneath this roof!"

team dresch:

It's where the obvious turns dumb, and clarity turns off
I'm standing somewhere near the back of the room
I'm on my left - I'm in between her
She's amazing, her words save me
She holds her head as if it's truth

and we get, what, "i kissed a girl and i liked it"? i might be a little out of date with that reference. and not being a pop-hating snob, just a pop lover disappointed in the state of the art.

well like i was getting at with the brad-paisley-at-the-cmas scenario, if a guy sang about mimetic desire (a phrase i didn't actually know before it came up here!) and referred to it in anguished self-seriousness as a "guy crush", people would be rofling. but between this and "i kissed a girl" - where katy keeps demeaning the smoochee as an "experimental game" etc - pop is clearly ok with the idea of these kinds of self-loathing erotic impulses coming from women.

and to be clear, i can totally understand being affected by "girl crush" AS an ugly expression of mimetic desire - "Kissed A Girl" is probably one of my favorite Katy Perry songs because of that weird, contemptuous undertone. i just find it depressing that 20 years after "rebel girl," THIS is how the phrase "girl crush" makes the top 40.

DC & dc otm

as hot a take as "those backwards hillbillies who listen to country" is for sites who only cover music for the viral angles, the "controversy" is largely not:

http://m.billboard.com/entry/view/id/119493

yeah i was kinda surprised when i searched for commentary about this song and just found "can hillbillies handle GIRLS KISSING?" as if the GIRLS KISSING aspect wasn't couched in male-flattering lovers-triangle talk

KRYS Corpus Christi, Texas, has only recently begun spinning the song, and while PD Big Frank Edwards says it's too soon to gauge a response, he adds, "I'm a narrow-minded, conservative, eighth generation Texan, and I think the song is fine."

gonna end all my reviews like that

totally. "I'm a simple, eighth-generation hyper-chicken from a narrow-minded, backwoods asteroid, and I think the song is fine."

and ha, i almost brought up "rebel girl" rather than "she's amazing."

Apologies if this has been posted but i wanted to share the horror (i saw it on a friends FB wall - think there was an article about it somewhere perhaps as apparently the band have record industry exec connections)

anyway its just plain bad imo but judge for yourself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfol9YlSvPc

those guys scored an NYT profile
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/26/arts/music/sxsw-pays-off-for-the-prettiots.html?_r=0
i never got around to hearing it
it is not good on first listen

I don't know if I want to listen to it again necessarily but I found it inoffensive. Shit band name though. Like a portmanteau of pretty and Poirot. v bad

the NYT profile says it's a portmanteau of 'pretty' and 'idiots'. 'The Poirots' would be a nice band name

lol i was going to say "oh leave em alone, that cheap video implies they're not out of the oven yet" but it turns out the video was directed by richard kern

I find the premise of the song amusing, but the execution kinda lets it down -- & that singing style is terrible, of course, but I've resigned myself to the fact that it's here to stay

i asked my friend where she saw it and it was here. Didn't know about the NY Times article.
http://martiandanceinvasion.blogspot.com.au/2015/03/the-starving-artists-of-1.html

Danny goldberg's daughter? Just warning 90s folks - if you hate that on principle, you also have to hate That Dog

the drummer is the all grow(ing)-up Trachtenberg Family daughter; thought i knew her from somewhere

T/S Richard Kern vs Larry Clark

yeah, I was about to say, this sounds exactly like a that dog. song

(and IMO is far too good for this thread, also pretty good in general, also if you want to dismiss artists offhand because of their parents you've got a fuck of a lot of artists to dismiss)

i said the song was shit before i read anything about them

Yeah, this song is alright at best and ignorable at worst. I suspect they have the potential to make some REALLY BAD songs in the future, tho.

seems like glossy antifolk to me which i can like with proper massaging but there's not much going on there that makes me wanna stick around; though i agree it's not fuck this shit worst and there's a certain degree of not unfair to presume dog whistle commentary that goes along with slagging it as such
i would link to frankie cosmos' "birthday song" as "child of famous parents DIY lo-fi done right " corrective but i don't want that song in this thread

the NYT profile says it's a portmanteau of 'pretty' and 'idiots'.

well that's prettiotic

I suspect they have the potential to make some REALLY BAD songs in the future, tho.

They have the potential to make some great songs too, surely.

That song doesn't even annoy me as much as "88 lines about 44 girls."

He's whistling now

Judging from the video I was dreading that the Prettiots song was going to feature the first boyfriend singing at some point, but: Garfunkel and Oates > this song > Jesus H. Christ and the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse.

new britney/iggy goes here, though weirdly the instrumental is GREAT

iggy at least figured out what rhymes with iggy
(spoiler: it's iggy)

Well at least she's not trying to compare herself to Biggie.

Yeah, I actually really like the instrumental, particularly the bit leading into the chorus. Shame about the rest of it.

The worst song of 2015 has arrived. Please start polishing Christopher Owens' crown:

https://soundcloud.com/chri55ybaby/selfish-feelings/s-rTLPU

Ha, that guy's still around?

this fuckin' guy

he's like the dorm bro version of lana del rey

https://f1.bcbits.com/img/a0808919166_10.jpg

Dude's mouth is conspicuously unrestrained, work on it

Mark McGrath, Uncle Kracker & Kevin Griffin are UNCLE EZRA RAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQqL_QowAto

And here I thought if Uncle Kracker was going team up with two other artists it would be Steve from Smash Mouth and Violent J.

is the cover art a deliberate *fuck you* to those of us who bought tickets for the Mark McGrath cruise?

fucking hell, this is depressing it's like a memory of a summer party from 1994 that i didn't want to go to where a friend got molested

The whispery beginning of that Chris Owens song ("I gotcher number in my phone etc.") was bad, but the chorus has a pretty good hook. I didn't hate it.

this is real bad, but at least kind of amusingly so. definitely not what anybody had ever hoped for on Assemble the new Traveling Wilburys .

i love how mark mcgrath's delivery on the first verse, with the telephone filter, makes it sound like he's trying to channel art alexakis. he is 47 years old and singing this shit btw. kracker for his part has gotten pretty countrified, maybe a better look than his borderline old man hat steez on "follow me." griffin sounds basically the same as ever, and surprisingly... competent? like he probably could have just put this out under some anonymous name and posed as a new shit band you'll hear about for a minute, like Neon Trees or 3OH!3 or Hot Chelle Rae. apparently at some point he developed a whole career as a songwriter for acts like james blunt, daniel powter, barenaked ladies, and like half the career of someone named "howie day."

is the cover art a deliberate *fuck you* to those of us who bought tickets for the Mark McGrath cruise?

lol

Chris Owens' voice on that song is excruciating.

This would sound great blasting out the back of a wakeboarding tow-boat.

this would sound great blasting out of massive bloody holes in the backs of all the participants' heads

huh was vaguely curious about that Chris Owens record where he reportedly pulls some country/Buck Owens moves but oof that is some bad songwriting up there

nate ruess has inflicted lasting damage upon pop vocals

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0BEJEIqAE8