Classic Christgau Zings

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she organizes freedom--how Scandinavian of her

never heard of this Mark Knobfler bloke (King Boy Pato), Monday, 20 April 2015 12:19 (four years ago) link

I think I might appreciate the covers album Kicking Against the Pricks when face to face with terminal illness.

never heard of this Mark Knobfler bloke (King Boy Pato), Monday, 20 April 2015 12:35 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

Eric Clapton: Journeyman [Duck/Reprise, 1989]
What did you expect him to call it--Hack?

Adam J Duncan, Monday, 27 July 2015 09:02 (four years ago) link

The Whoa List:

Jeffrey Lewis: 12 Crass Songs [Rough Trade, 2008]
Drolly self-deprecating anti-folkie covers iconic anarcho-punk Purists for ultraleft analysis in musical form--that's just what this reeling world could use, you'd think. And indeed, it's not altogether stupid. But it's also hate-filled and hateful--not just the Crass, but second-generation beatnik Lewis, who like most hereditary bohemians was brought up to think he's better than normal people. However well he understands capitalist exploitation, his emotional response is stunted: "I hate the living dead and their work in factories/They go like sheep to their production lines." ("Like sheep"--what a cool image!) Historically, people in this economy have taken what they can get and had some fun in their spare time. They like Sarah Palin because they know she's as smart as Jeffrey Lewis and suspect they're not all that far behind themselves. C-

Stone Temple Pilots: Core [Atlantic, 1993]
Once you learn to tell them from the Stoned Tempo Pirates, the Stolen Pesto Pinenuts, the Gray-Templed Prelates, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam, and Wishbone Ash, you may decide they're a halfway decent hard rock act. Unfortunately, sometime after they've set you up with their best power chords, you figure out the title is "Sex Type Thing" because it's attached to a rape threat. They claim this was intended as a critique, kind of like "Naked Sunday"'s sarcastic handshake with authority. But at best that means they should reconceive their aesthetic strategy--critiquewise, irony has no teeth when the will to sexual power still powers your power chords. And if it's merely the excuse MTV fans have reason to suspect, the whole band should catch AIDS and die. B-

Adam J Duncan, Monday, 27 July 2015 09:06 (four years ago) link

Those who (claim to) expect them to improve on Gramsci maintain that this is where they turn bozo once and for all.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 12:11 (four years ago) link

Ever hear the one about being so open-minded that when you lay down to sleep your brains fall out?

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 12:12 (four years ago) link

But when I realized that "Let's Work" was no metaphor--that it was the plutocrat importuning his lessers to "kill poverty" from the bootstraps up--somehow I stopped worrying whether his "life is trivialized." Your choice, mister--you live with it.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 12:15 (four years ago) link

But now that Bernard is a full-fledged human being, we find out he's a slightly boring human being.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 12:19 (four years ago) link

Put them down as 10cc, with a spoke, or a pump, up their ass.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 12:21 (four years ago) link

If coming leaves your penis feeling that bad, fella, remember that they're not called narcotics for nothing

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 29 July 2015 12:21 (four years ago) link

Though it's possible Jeff Tweedy's wife told him to stop being a pretentious tweet, it's more likely she just told him to stop ignoring her.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 29 July 2015 12:53 (four years ago) link

It's no surprise to be told that a lot of their ideas come from Eraserhead, but who wants to go see Eraserhead to make sure?

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 31 July 2015 14:34 (four years ago) link

Those emo posers, how dare they?

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 1 August 2015 17:23 (four years ago) link

Cyborgs can grate on the ears, and I bet they don't suck dick that good either.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 2 August 2015 08:49 (four years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Doherty makes a case for flat-on-your-ass alienation in an insane wartime culture. But please, don't go out with him. Kate Moss can fend for herself.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 30 August 2015 12:02 (four years ago) link

N.B.: if you're considering Montreal, which is certainly my favorite Canadian place, the ex-Texans and -Haitian here want to make clear that it's horribly cold.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 30 August 2015 12:17 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

To use the only noun in the hard lexicon that suggests normal human sensitivities, he was acting like a "faggot."

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 10:17 (three years ago) link

I admit that some of the tunes retain considerable nostalgic appeal, but there's no way I can get around it--Jim Morrison sounds like an asshole.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 10:21 (three years ago) link

In a desperate attempt to market Ian McCulloch's crumpled shirts and skin problems (two of the most likable things about him, I'd say)

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 10:23 (three years ago) link

And now let me give it up to an I Love Music post by Pitchfork's Scott Plagenhoef: "off-kilter, upbeat guitar pop, with--in comparison to their peers--something singular about both their music (e.g. not just the touches of African pop but the willingness to use space and let the songs breathe a bit) and their lyrics (detail-heavy, expressive; too bad they're images of wealth instead of poverty, otherwise they'd be critical manna)." Right on, my brother.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 24 September 2015 09:05 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

the gloom merchants at Factory/Factus

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 20 November 2015 08:16 (three years ago) link

Back when my hair was halfway down my back and my Lower East Side apartment cost $45 a month, I scoffed at hippie's insularity, self-righteousness, privilege, and half-assed analysis of the marketplace. And in the postpunk era I've been wont to ask, "Why so glum, chum?"

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 20 November 2015 09:39 (three years ago) link

i am having trouble parsing that but it seems like a not-great sentiment expressed in a way that's kinda proud of itself

thwomp (thomp), Friday, 20 November 2015 10:11 (three years ago) link

neoclassicist Strokes/Stripes guff

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 20 November 2015 10:12 (three years ago) link

Only in Australia or some similar well-heeled backwater could an unknown art student write, direct, edit, and star in a wacko comedy that took place anywhere but in his own head.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Friday, 20 November 2015 10:34 (three years ago) link

That these silly middlebrow hacks should hang in long enough to become stars is the usual biz fable. That they should do so with danceable rock and roll that sounds smart in the background is one more sign that the world is coming to an end.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 21 November 2015 10:14 (three years ago) link

He never included that blurb in the published Consumer Guide, which makes sense because he was fucking wrong

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 21 November 2015 12:36 (three years ago) link

What a cerebral band--if they keep on at this rate, they'll inspire more deep thinking than David Bowie and Henry Cow combined.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 22 November 2015 09:05 (three years ago) link

Bitch bitch bitch, bloat bloat bloat.

Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 22 November 2015 09:20 (three years ago) link

Not that "If the South Woulda Won" can be said to go against the Nashville grain--nobody really wants to go back to slavery, understand, but if that's the price of more hangings and no more foreign cars, we may have to bite the bullet. Anyway, Hank drops in a good word for Martin Luther King on the very next song. How much do these people want?

balls, Sunday, 22 November 2015 22:17 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

Not as stupid as they sound--but do they sound stupid.

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Monday, 25 January 2016 12:46 (three years ago) link

Back when I was a young feller, we called these things hootenannies, only we thought they needed songs

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 26 January 2016 05:30 (three years ago) link

I mean, is Eno really completely fascinated by banality?

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 11:36 (three years ago) link

You'll wonder: Is Zooey Deschanel homier than Feist, or just a good actress?

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 11:42 (three years ago) link

Lou sure is adept at figuring out new ways to shit on people.

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 11:52 (three years ago) link

Long-winded young wankers so insularly indie they're incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't been softened up by Wowee Zowee and the Meat Puppets

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 11:55 (three years ago) link

An active member of the Fraternal Order of Old Farts since birth

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 30 January 2016 01:51 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

these cheesy media sluts want to Grow Musically

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 24 February 2016 11:58 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

he's sweet enough to come out on the losing side sometimes, but in the end he'll probably "let that lovely creature down," because he can't resist a piece of ass

David Goey (King Boy Pato), Monday, 25 April 2016 00:02 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

Of course, the latter may not notice any difference, because doomsday is Mr. Radiohead's neighborhood. Go to their page in the All Music Guide and find under Tones (capitalized like the Platonic forms they are): "Enigmatic, Somber, Reflective, Intense, Plaintive, Wistful, Bittersweet, Paranoid, Gloomy, Wintry, Poignant, Aggressive, Theatrical, Eerie, Earnest, Melancholy, Angst-Ridden, Brooding." Sounds pretty inviting, doncha think? No wonder they matter so much. (Right, now I'm being sarcastic.)

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 7 July 2016 13:46 (three years ago) link

is that all you do on ILM?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 7 July 2016 13:49 (three years ago) link

avant-bigots

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 7 July 2016 13:52 (three years ago) link

is that all you do on ILM?

Is that what he said to you at the EMP? Sounds like a Queens dad, which he was probably evoking/channeling?

Hare in the Gated Snare (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 7 July 2016 14:49 (three years ago) link

Once you learn to tell them from the Stoned Tempo Pirates, the Stolen Pesto Pinenuts, the Gray-Templed Prelates, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam, and Wishbone Ash, you may decide they're a halfway decent hard rock act.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Friday, 15 July 2016 09:53 (three years ago) link

The last thing we need is collegiate existentialism nostalgia.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 16 July 2016 11:10 (three years ago) link

four months pass...

high-texture also-rans process rock and roll readymades through art school sensibilities and infernal machines

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 20 November 2016 02:38 (two years ago) link

Calling Neil Tennant a bored wimp is like accusing Jackson Pollock of making a mess.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 20 November 2016 09:24 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

They call Australia Oz because it's about as exotic as Kansas upside down.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 19 January 2017 10:57 (two years ago) link

Only on the oceanbound land mass where acid house was Beatlemania would anyone sit still for such earnest post-rock tripe.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 19 January 2017 11:14 (two years ago) link

Some Amurricans think a whispered "Je te desire" is por . . . er, erotic--sexy! I've always preferred "I wanna fuck you" myself.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Friday, 20 January 2017 09:14 (two years ago) link

Male computer nerds who've mastered a culture of affluence without making sense of their sex lives should listen up.

Smootown Philly (King Boy Pato), Friday, 7 July 2017 12:27 (two years ago) link

Hopeless eccentric spends most of his adult life and a large chunk of his ill-gotten fortune trying to make the perfect album. Succeeds, kind of, on his own totally irrelevant terms. Nobody cares.

^a fair assessment of Mark Hollis's solo album, imho

the baby grew up to be a secessful kid (unregistered), Friday, 7 July 2017 23:19 (two years ago) link

"666[bent downward arrow or else some emoji I'm too uncool to recognize]"

Smootown Philly (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 8 July 2017 03:23 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

Open Your Eyes You Can Fly [Milestone, 1976]
Shut your mouth and maybe they'll let you land. C

the old rugged crocs (unregistered), Monday, 18 September 2017 13:06 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

But you need a lot of hooks to get away with being full of shit

Smootown Philly (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 5 October 2017 20:51 (one year ago) link

The message being that only those ready to give up the transient pleasure of a good tune are ready to confront the meaninglessness of their neoliberal-capitalist lives

Smootown Philly (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 18 October 2017 11:25 (one year ago) link

Patterns of culture have changed, and in a boutique economy, this shit, like all other shit, is probably here to stay.

Smootown Philly (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 18 October 2017 11:31 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Still an expert architect of musical spectacles, but... does anybody actually like the guy?

Shitpost in Opposition (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 9 January 2018 10:22 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

worthy of Eno at his most rhapsodically technopastoral

milquetoast malone (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 6 March 2018 10:23 (one year ago) link

Sade for androids

milquetoast malone (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 6 March 2018 10:59 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

But there are times when the Kiss-Lil Jon continuum is just right for clearing the sinuses or getting you to the next rest stop

Cardigan B (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 7 April 2018 09:25 (one year ago) link

nine months pass...

David Bowie accomplished several things I wish he hadn't in the 70s, from briefly reinstating mime as a legitimate art form to permanently convincing Britons that their elitist nation was the chief locus of artistic sophistication in popular music.

riposte malone (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 12 January 2019 12:35 (eight months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Gary Numan--everywhere you turn these days, Gary Numan is sitting with the lights out, staring off into space.

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 5 February 2019 19:05 (seven months ago) link

four months pass...

I note as well that you are not from the United Kingdom, the spawning ground of the 1975 delusion.

Tokyo Ghetto Stüssy (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 23 June 2019 07:44 (two months ago) link

two months pass...

The textures are nicer now, but whose aren't?

difficult listening hour, Sunday, 15 September 2019 01:04 (six days ago) link


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