Everything that rises must CONVERGE: Aldo and others read DC's CONVERGENCE clusterf*ck so you don't have to

And Darwyn's Spirit book...

But then also Identity Crisis, Blackest Night, Countdown Arena... etc.

I cut orders of the second half of these series by an average of 50%. Every one I've flipped through has looked like complete shit, it's been tough to even give my staff pointers on how to sell it.

This is doing even worse than the Future's End special event from last fall (with the weird covers), which, itself did about half as well as the previous year's special event with funny covers.
DC cannot get anything right - last fall it was five new Batman titles because Bat-shit was the only thing they could reliably sell, two or three of those have already been 86ed.

I love that DC keeps trying to make a better Countdown: Arena. Adorable. Rao bless 'em.

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2015/04/grumpy-old-fan-when-not-to-cross-over/
I loved Mazing Man; it was the Louie of comix at teh time

I just submitted forksclovetofu's post to Best Comics Writing 2015.

Wasn't it someone at DC who openly admitted comics were mostly for collectors in their 40s now?

Writeups will be very late this week, broadband has failed and won't be back till at least Monday.

Just in case you thought I'd given up, or gouged my eyes out.

Mazing man was great
Xxp

i still got the full series somewhere...

So, in the week since the above posts the solicits have come out for the first post-Convergence (or, more importantly, the NEW post-Convergence titles) and I am filled with even more contempt than before. Fuck you DiDio, fuck you Geoff Johns, fuck you all. But in the interests of you lot I will continue...

Convergence #2 has our Earth 2 heroes trapped in Uncanny Braniac's frozen metallic spunk. My first thought is, as last week implied it should be, whether Batgirl has been for a pee yet. We get about 10 pages of flashback to Earth 2: World's End, since nobody was reading it, to explain why the people here are important then Uncanny Braniac tells them he wants them to fight the Johnsiverse Future's End who he picked up by accident and doesn't know what to do with. Obamaman is able to crack the spunk which lets Alan Scott meditate again and attack Uncanny Braniac with the full power of The Beige. This makes him run away (although Batgirl Pissypants assumes this means he's dead, which probably explains why she never actually finally defeated anyone) so Nightwang takes Batman to a Batcave - because, like water divining, all you need is instinct and a stick - where Babs Gordon and Alfred introduce Batman to Batman then they take a car back to the surface where they meet Deimos in an OBVIOUS BAD GUY FAKE-OUT. Needless to say, Batgirl Pissypants doesn't get it.

Once more with feeling, fuck you Geoff Johns.

It will come as no surprise to any of you that Convergence Aquaman #1 is utter bollocks. After finding out last week that EVERYONE was in Gotham pre-Flashpoint it now turns out that EVERYONE was in pre-Zero Hour Metropolis including the ENTIRE Justice League. But we don't care about them because Aquaman is the only one that's any good at all, as we find out near the beginning because he's the only one doing any crime fighting. Unfortunately, being Aquaman he fucks his own life us big style by dumping Chemo in the bay and poisoning his house, and as a result his best new buddy Dane Dorrance lets him live under his shower. He turned up with both hands but as the dome went FWASH he only had one and the magic hook from the grim 'n' gritty era. Anyway, we get the Floating Uncanny Braniac Head that appears in every book explaining the plot then somebody he knows turns up and starts killing people in a grim 'n' gritty way. Mmmmm. TASTE THE GRIM.

Still, it's Saturday morning cartoons compared to Convergence Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1 featuring characters I could give a shit about being grimmer 'n' grittier just like they were bitd. And of course the more observant of you will have spotted that means Batman was in Metropolis too! And maybe also that him and Azrael did nothing about crime for an entire year until the exact moment when YOU GUESSED IT Uncanny Braniac appears in the sky no reads his script. Then there's an argument about whether he causes a time shift or not, because detecting that is a new super power. Nostalgia and literally nothing else. And nostalgia for a dreadful comic at that.

Hoo-fuckin'-ray, Purple Suit Catwoman was in Metropolis as well! And so Convergence Catwoman #1 tells the completely uninspiring story of how she became the only crime fighter in Metropolis and blah blah blah fuck all happens blah blah Uncanny Braniac in the sky blah blah then Kingdom Come Batman turns up to beat the crap out of her next month and I lose the will to live.

So, the Goatee Green Arrow was ALSO in Metropolis as detailed in Convergence Green Arrow #1 , which is pretty odd because a different Green Arrow was there as part of the Justice League as shown in Aquaman. Which would be confusing were it not that this GA is a lazy twat who has done nothing for a year except stop angry mobs because Metropolis is doing the aul' racism now Father. The issue retells the meeting of Ollie and Connor Hawke - because HEY! that ashram was in Metropolis too - then Braniac Riders In The Sky and they bump into a one eyed Black Canary or something and a book of GA kids' daddy issues beckons next month. I CAN'T WAIT.

Convergence Green Lantern: Parallax #1 is basically a Wikipedia entry about How The Grinch Stole Christmas, or more likely, How The Hal Killed His Little Blue Buddies. Oh yeah, him and Kyle Rayner are in Metropolis too. So then they both get their green back when Ghost Braniacs In The Sky remove the dome, then some woman from a Dean Motter Image book turns up and kicks Kyle's arse without breaking sweat which allows Hal to act like a knob. No change there then. Dreadful stuff.

Convergence Justice League International #1 features the thrilling adventures of the only crime fighters in, unlikely as it sounds, Metropolis. They have a fight with Metallo then Blue Beetle turns down a definite shag to tinker with Archimedes the Owl Ship and talk to Rorschach. Or maybe it's fix The Bug and talk to the Martian Manhunter, but you get the drift. Ghost Braniac does his turn then the skies turn all funny coloured - which is cool, because it only happens in this book and not in any of the other hundred set in Metropolis at the same time - when Kingdom Come WW and Shazam turn up to kill everyone. Looks like I have no memory of even more dogshit comics than I thought.

So, Louisiana in in Metropolis now, is it? And Gotham is too? They must be, because not only does Babs Gordon/Oracle turn up at home in Convergence Suicide Squad #1 but Belle Reve is there too and thankfully it's full not only of the regular SS but also Cyborg Superman, Bane, Black Manta and Deathstroke. Despite this, nothing happens except explain what's going to happen next month. BASICALLY Kingdom Come Alan Scott is the Bestest Green Lantern Ever (which must have made Geoff Johns feel physically sick, such heresy) and is so powerful he has created a whole new planet which the Kingdom Comers are using now the domes are down and the plan is to blow shit up. There might be something happen next time round. I wouldn't hold your breath though.

I really couldn't give a shit about Converence Superboy #1 and I'll be amazed if anybody else did. It feels like it rips off Miracleman at various points, but once Kon gets his powers back various Kingdom Comers smack him about, including Red Robin. Imagine the embarrassment of being beaten by The Dick. Glowy Eyes Superman turns up at the end and they are going to fight next month. I think we're supposed not care about any of the rest of it and get excited by the notion of a Man/Boy fight. I can't, to be honest.

At least Convergence Supergirl: Matrix #1 understands that it's a bullshit book nobody is going to read and has been dealt a shitty set of cards. It says it up front right at the beginning and dispatches the Floating Head of Uncanny Braniac really early on to it can get on with FIGHTING. The blob of something which is in the shape of Supergirl (really?) has a Who's More Ludicrous with Lord Volt and Lady Quark (which is weird because Earth 6 - which may now be Earth 48 - isn't supposed to be in this). We're all supposed to cheer at the end when Ambush Bug turns up, aren't we. One of the more blatant grabs for publicity of recent years.

Convergence Steel #1 is a weird one. It contradicts pretty much every other book, not least because everyone else in every dome is complaining about resources running out but Steel is happily wasting stuff on experiments and he needs to because lots of other people in Metropolis have managed to make powered suits and they are forming gangs and fighting with each other. That's ok though, because Steel has managed to turn a real cat into a robot pussy that he's going to team up with, probably. Gen 13 From Liefeldverse appear and they have the start of a fight but not enough to care about. I'm just waiting for another glimpse of Steel Pussy.

Not going to lie, this is one of my worst experiences in reading comics. Every single thing sucks and only exists to make nostalgic fanboys of a very specific age cream themselves. And none of it does anything for me. The two issue structure doesn't work either - these first issues don't get anything done and set up a scenario which has to be replied next time in as few pages as possible. I don't think I'm looking forward to any of them based on two weeks of #1s. A weaker man would give up on DC forever as a result of this.

This is the point in the hotdog-eating competition where the cheers directed toward an impressive undertaking that none of us actually want to personally undertake start to fade as we all become increasingly concerned for your health and well-being.

These books really do suck.

This is the point in the hotdog-eating competition where the cheers directed toward an impressive undertaking that none of us actually want to personally undertake start to fade as we all become increasingly concerned for your health and well-being.

^^^^^^^^

The striking thing to me is how ugly they are.

Convergence #3 continues to tell the secret truth about this book, that it's SPOILER ALERT only an Earth 2 book to deal with the events of Earth 2 World's End and hand wave them away so the Earth 2 book could continue after the DC move and the non-reboot reboot. Just don't call it a reboot!

So, continuing what is supposed to be the main storyline of the book Deimos shows the Earth 2 heroes his secret medieval kingdom underground where it transpires all the time manipulator so that have ever existed are kept in a spinny vortex thing. Back on the surface, Uncanny Braniac captures Obama Superman in a metal net before he gets set free two pages later - in other words, with no opportunity for any dramatic tension to have been raised by the capture rendering it pointless. Anyway, Ghost Braniac In The Sky tried to capture him because (as I speculated last week) the fact there's a yellow sun means his powers all still exist; which means, somewhat ridiculously, that in all the captured cities the Superfriends were still powered up so JUST COULDN'T BE ARSED FIGHTING CRIME in the year under the dome. Thanks Superman Family! Thamily!

So, Uncanny Braniac explains all this to the Kandorians (who were presumably in one of the Metropolises?) and are now unbottled, but because they are so pure of heart they don't want to be part of SecretConBattle so he kills them all. Three pages after introducing them to the script. I'm not only confused to why that happened, I'm also nearly halfway in and still have no idea WHY any of this is happening (in the comic I mean). NO IDEA what the end game is.

In the other part of the 'plot' all the Batman villains from the other cities have teamed up into a giant anti-Bats team-up squad club and confront Earth 2 Batman, who's obviously the most important one because he's in the main book and not one of the two issues plot/fight car crashes. He resolves this in a very simple way. Batman becomes a suicide bomber and blows them all up. (Although in a weird way his body is still intact after the blast despite being at the centre of it. Hmm.) The Joker is the only bad guy team up club guy that survives and takes Dick Grayson (the surviving Bat hero dude) then does a Killing Joke to him. NOSTALGIA! DO YOU SEE? Then, in a way which is clearly nothing like Doom Tears 9/11 Special Uncanny Braniac turns up and kills him because some things are just so bad that even the bad guys are disgusted by how bad they are, conveniently ignoring what evil they have wrought in the past.

This really is a total mess, and considering it was supposed to have been planned is even more baffling why it's so incoherent. The nicest thing I can say about it is that it's better than the miniseries books, and it's probably better than Earth 2 World's End was. Faint praise.

Convergence Adventures of Superman #1 has Supes and Supergirl in Gotham City immediately before the Crisis. And why not? Metropolis was probably full of everyone else. Anyway, this gives them the opportunity to work with Lucius Fox to build a Phantom Zone projector because OBVIOUSLY the Phantom Zone was contained inside Uncanny Braniac's Magic dome. So they go in and fly about for a bit (proving the Superdickery point I made while I was talking about the parent title) then the Crisis sort of happens and Supergirl finds out she should be dead, but clearly isn't which gives her the power to be the strongest Kryptonian ever and she rescues Supes and beats up all the Phantom Zone villains. Supes responds to this by telling her how jealous of her he is because he thinks she's the best Kryptonian ever too. Then back in the real world, Braniac/sky/you know the deal and some animals on horseback turn up in Gotham and Lucius Fox looks scared. That's always confused me - why do horses get the shitty end of the stick? Other animals learn to speak, shoot, drive, whatever; horses get to be horses. EQUAL RIGHTS FOR OUR EQUINE BRETHREN!

Convergence Batman & The Outsiders #1 is, at least, very nearly an entertaining read. In Gotham, and not "my homeland of Markovia" (which might get mentioned once or twice), the Outsiders are all either powered (Geo Force) or de-powered (the rest of them) and coming to terms with their life. Someone asks Black Lightning the question I was wondering myself during the first week, if he's some kind of weird cosplay fetishist because there's no real need for him to keep dressing up now he's just a regular guy. The one person this is all working out for is Metamorpho because he's managing to have a normal life with Sapphire Stagg. Braniac/sky happens with a couple of pages to go and he changes back his multicoloured self just as OMAC turns up to fight. Much better paced than other books, this at least attempts to tell a story and isn't just a pointless nostalgia fest. I'm sure that won't be allowed to continue in #2.

Convergence Green Lantern Corps #1 tries to play the same trick, concentrating on Guy Gardner's new life as a teacher but also taking in John Stewart's Gotham job as a gardener (I'm sure that's supposed to scream OH THE IRONING but I can't be bothered) and Hal's job as the world's biggest arsehole. Eventually the cover comes off and Hal recharges his ring then takes the lantern away so nobody else can. Guy is, probably understandably, upset about this and rides off on a motorbike with a baseball bat to find a fight. John Stewart is, as ever, forgotten about since he's irrelevant to the plot. Like I give a shit.

Gotham is also chock-full of Thanagarians, as Convergence Hawkman #1 shows. Kate and Shayera uncover a Thanagarian sleeper villain cell in the city that has build an - I shit you not - "absorbacon". That's about it. This sort of has nothing to do with Convergence and there is no indication that #2 will either. Are there really that many Hawkman fanboys out there to constitute a market for this?

Maybe as much a market there is for the Detroit Convergence Justice League America #1 who, wait for it, we're in Gotham too. At least this book dispenses with the ConDome shit and gets straight to them all with their powers back - you have to at least think that's partly because it's the only way to make Ralph Dibny interesting. An alternate Secret Six turn up at the end claiming they are there to win the fight but immediately run off. Then Vibe pulls a heroic pose. OOOOOH NOSTALGIA.

Convergence Superboy & The Legion of Super-Heroes #1 wants to be Scott Pilgrim. A lot. I wish it was too, but instead it's more like Saved By The Bell. Because there are 3000000 of them they all get a couple of panels to explain what they've done. Brainiac 5 is a Braniac therefore able to speak to Uncanny Braniac's Sandpit which is just about to tell him the plot when Superboy and Lightning Lass nearly kiss which is the trigger for Ghost Braniac in the sky and the dome disappearing, just in time for some Knights of Olde to turn up on giant dogs. Yes, really. (It's an Atomic Knights thing.)

Convergence Swamp Thing #1 is pretty unique amongst these books in that it ACTUALLY HAS A TANGIBLE PLOT. It has a handful of pages explaining Swampy to people that have never read it before, then tells what happened in order to credibly have Alec & Abby in Gotham at dome time. It then deals with them almost exclusively, and the difficulties of keeping Swampy alive for a year with no useful vegetation and next to no rain. At the end some vampires turn up from a Batman Elseworlds book to give us a familiar 'Alec punching at waves of enemies' picture and I don't even care that I've seen such an image many times before. This was that rare thing these days, a GOOD DC comic book. Maybe it seems better than it is because of the paucity of talent around it, but without a multiverse Earth where DC are a worthwhile publisher we'll never know.

Convergence Flash #1 has a powerless Flash coming to terms with not being connected to the speed force. Barry meets Bruce Wayne for a coffee and then the ConDome comes down; he can tap the speed force again so he runs about a bit then somebody who may or may not be Superman from an Elseworlds I haven't read turns up for a fight. I think the biggest problem is that NOTHING happens in the book, it's a bog-standard "Flash loses his powers" story like I'm pretty sure has happened every decade, and in the Silver Age probably used to happen every 6 months. C+ maybe, which makes it one of the better parts of this endeavour.

Marv Wolfman teaches us in Convergence The New Teen Titans #1 that the Titans used to be fun before the Johnsiverse, even if Nightwang and Starfire are bickering like and old married couple for most of it. Braniac's Dome is pulled back about halfway through and the Doom Patrol from the Tangent Universe come in to fight but it soon becomes clear they've only done that because they thought it was what Dan DiDio wanted them to do so they soon go back to their bedrooms to play Minecraft. Eventually their leader hits Nightwang up on Snapchat but it cliffhangers before they start sending noods. Maybe things really were better those days.

Convergence Wonder Woman #1 shows that Diana's dress sense is inexplicably linked to her powers, because de-powered she ends up wearing turtleneck jumpers like in the 60s powerless secret agent era. Etta is involved with a cult in a plot IN NO WAY influenced by the one in The Leftovers who tie up Diana with her own lasso JUST LIKE IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS. This means Diana isn't about when vampires turn up and eat the cult, but also means when Braniac pulls back his covering Diana is tied up when all her clothes fall off. JUST LIKE IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS. We learn that Joker Vampires are better/worse than other vampires (although Uncanny Braniac doesn't seem as bothered by there being a joker here as he is in the central book) and we are treated to the sight of Diana squishing her boob sideways so that it sits properly in her costume. JUST LIKE IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

Convergence #4 advances the overall plot along by ignoring anything that's going on in any of the miniseries and concentrating on telling the story of how the Earth 2 heroes got given a new planet and won Convergence. Uncanny Braniac is won over by the power of Batman the Suicide Bomber and decides he should become a convert to BatISIS because of it. Because Dick Grayson got Killing Joked last week, Uncanny Braniac decides to use his magic metal spunk to make him a new exoskeleton because if Dick can walk then Uncanny Braniac can cheat at his own game and let Dick win the planet. We then get a huge amount involving the Warlord, who clearly isn't popular enough to warrant his own book and in the end we find out that the core of the planet is ANOTHER Braniac (who may be Most Important Ever Braniac, but we don't see any more than one panel to find out) and Deimos has been capturing time travellers to free him. I suspect this will make Uncanny Braniac cry when he finds out, because he thinks he was mates with Most Important Ever Braniac and he wasn't this one. I really couldn't care less.

Convergence Action Comics #1 isn't any better. We get the stories of the pre-Crisis Earth 2 Metropolis and the Red Son Moscow, intertwined in a slightly hamfisted way around the story of Lois and her relationship with Clark and Lex in the respective cities. There's lots of whining by Power Girl about how her eyes have bags now and if she eats too much pasta she'll be too fat for her boob window. Uncanny Braniac doesn't even turn up in the sky until the final two pages. The most exciting thing that happens in this is Lois, Clark, Kara and her boyfriend having dinner. Really. And it's clearly supposed to be the most exciting thing too. I can't say I'm overly enthused.

The Charlton heroes on Earth 4 are explored in Convergence Blue Beetle #1 . Well I say explored, they all sort of talk a lot while saying nothing. Multicoloured Captain Atom gets his powers back briefly and Booster Gold appears for literally two panels so that people can go HAHA DO YOU SEE BLUE BEETLE GOES "WHO IS THAT GUY" HAHA THAT IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE WE REMEMBER A DIFFERENT COMIC HAHA. Transformer Braniac makes himself out of a house and tells everyone the plot so that they can fight the Legion next month. Will we be around to read it? YOU DECIDE!

Convergence Booster Gold #1 taps exactly the same nostalgia vein as Charlton Convergence, only more so. It spends the first three quarters of the book trying (and failing) to explain the main Convergence book and the last couple of pages going OMG BEETLE AND BOOSTER WE REMEMBER THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MAYBE A DIFFERENT BEETLE AND A DIFFERENT BOOSTER! The only useful thing we get out of this is that Booster was responsible for FiddyToo. And even then there are differing values of "useful". Revealing a secret about a 5 year old comic that was already all resolved really isn't that useful in the grand scheme of things.

Convergence Crime Syndicate #1 must work, right? I mean, they were the big bad in Forever Evil and everyone liked that, right? So if we get them to face off against the Justice League from DC One Million - because everybody loves Grant Morrison, right? And he's a supercool hot ticket, right? Do people even say supercool any more? Well no, RONGOPEDIA. This is as dull as shit and doesn't actually go anywhere. And nobody likes the Crime Syndicate really, do they? The trope of a bad Justice League works once, maybe twice, but then very soon becomes pointless shock value especially if it doesn't mean anything afterwards. And for what it's worth nobody actually liked Forever Evil, did they?

Can anybody that's been reading DC these the past two years say whether or not they've gotten significantly worse?

Nothing I was reading before I stopped seemed as mind numbingly convoluted, yet insubstantial as these do.

who is writing and drawing any of these apart from Marv Wolfman teaches us

To answer tsrobodo's question, taking these event books as an example isn't really a good one. There's no reason why this should work really, as it's a convoluted sticking plaster. The main book is maybe the only one you're supposed to buy and the others are a 'fun' exercise in nostalgia or a 'fun' experiment in writing characters that don't have their own book/aren't in continuit any more. Definitions of 'fun' may not be he same.

The more nuanced answer is that DC have always produced some dreadful shite over the years, it's just that we've never bothered reading them. We focus on the successes and forget the rubbish. We barely even talk about it. But doing this (and the Nu52 experiment) showed that there are good books published, sometimes quite a lot of them, but they're weighed down by the torrent of crap that accompanies them week in, week out. The simple answer, and the one that makes the most business sense, would be to stop publishing 90% of it and concentrate on the things that bring in the revenue. The problem with that is that DiDio and Johns have lost sight of what that is and think the answer is "whatever Geoff Johns wants" and/or MOAR BATS/SUPES/GL FRANCHISE BOOKS. the other problem, of course, is that this would reduce their business to a fraction of what it is and probably not make it viable for them to carry the many staffers they have, which they need to make Dan & Geoff feel important.

I know I'm simplifying this and there are a thousand other reason why comics aren't as good as we used to think they were, but honestly a lot of the problem is our own, and our selective memories of how good we thought they were. The rest of the problem is Geoff Johns.

sic,

CONVERGENCE #1

Written by JEFF KING and SCOTT LOBDELL

Art by CARLO PAGULAYAN and JASON PAZ

Foldout cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO

Variant cover by TONY S. DANIEL and MARK MORALES

1: 25 Variant cover by BRIAN BOLLAND

1: 100 BATMAN sketch variant cover by GREG CAPULLO

Blank variant cover

This is it! The entire DC Universe, from the dawn of time through The New 52, must fight to survive against a threat that bends the Multiverse to its will. Your favorite characters from every era and every forgotten series are all here! But are you going to say hello again just to say goodbye forever? The stakes have never been higher as the heroes of Crisis, Zero Hour, Elseworlds, and more are brought together for Convergence!

In the first issue of this weekly series, Brainiac has collected cities of doomed and forgotten worlds, who must battle each other – and the losers will be destroyed! But why is he forcing this conflict? Join the refugees from Earth-2 as they unlock the truth behind this world that exists outside time and space and is very much alive! Is Brainiac really in control – or is this planet named Telos an unparalleled force of evil?

This extra-sized issue is packed with twists and turns and appearances you NEVER thought you’d see – including the heroes from the hit series INJUSTICE!

CONVERGENCE #2

Written by JEFF KING

Art by CARLO PAGULAYAN and JASON PAZ

Cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO

Variant cover by TONY S. DANIEL and MARK MORALES

1: 25 Variant cover by JAE LEE

1: 100 WONDER WOMAN sketch variant cover by DAVID FINCH

As Telos, the Planet Incarnate, easily defeats the survivors of Earth 2, Thomas Wayne and Dick Grayson set off to find help in the pre-Flashpoint Gotham City. The emotional implication of these worlds colliding comes crashing down when Thomas Wayne confronts this world’s Batman, as father meets son!

Plus, Alan Scott’s attempts to connect with The Green yield unexpected results, setting our team on a quest to escape the planet. And the cyborgs of Futures End engage in a battle to the death against the reimagined heroes of the Just Imagine Universe, while the city of Superman Red and Blue takes on the opposing forces from GENERATIONS!

CONVERGENCE #3

Written by JEFF KING

Art by STEPHEN SEGOVIA and JASON PAZ

Cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO

Variant cover by TONY S. DANIEL and MARK MORALES

1: 25 Variant cover by DAVE McKEAN

1: 100 AQUAMAN sketch variant cover by JIM LEE

Death comes calling as an injured Telos takes out his rage on the people of Kandor, while the Earth-2 team endures another brutal casualty. And major plans are set in motion as Green Lantern and the others follow Deimos into the lost city of Skartaris to find Rip Hunter and the missing Time Masters, who could be their only hope of escape from this apocalypse for Infinite Earths!

CONVERGENCE #4

Written by JEFF KING

Art by STEPHEN SEGOVIA and JASON PAZ

Cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO

Variant cover by TONY S. DANIEL and MARK MORALES

1: 25 Variant cover by FRANCIS MANAPUL

1: 100 GREEN LANTERN sketch variant cover by JIM LEE

Inside Skartaris, the heroes of Earth-2 must face the only man who can stop them from finding the missing Time Travelers – but why would Travis Morgan, aka The Warlord, want to kill them?

Meanwhile, Telos takes the captive Dick Grayson to several of the battling cities to prove the futility of challenging him. And whatever you do, do not miss the final page, as the surprising return of an unexpected villain could crush all hope for salvation and seal the doom of everyone on the planet!

CONVERGENCE: THE ATOM #1

Written by TOM PEYER

Art by STEVE YEOWELL and ANDY OWENS

Cover by STEVE DILLON

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! There’s a mysterious voice in Ray Palmer’s head! Does that mean The Atom is going mad? To find out what’s really going on, he’ll have to go down a road that will pit him against the ever deadly Deathstroke!

CONVERGENCE: BATGIRL #1

Written by ALISA KWITNEY

Art by RICK LEONARDI and MARK PENNINGTON

Cover by RICK LEONARDI and DAN GREEN

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! After a year living under the confinement of the dome, Stephanie Brown isn’t sure she wants to be Batgirl again. But when she’s attacked by Catman and Gorilla Grodd from the world of Flashpoint, she’s forced to put on the cape and cowl to fight alongside Red Robin and Cassandra Cain!

CONVERGENCE: BATMAN AND ROBIN #1

Written by RON MARZ

Art and cover by DENYS COWAN and KLAUS JANSON

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! Being trapped in a domed city makes for a tense, inescapable family reunion as Batman struggles to keep the friction between Damian Wayne and Jason Todd from exploding!

CONVERGENCE: HARLEY QUINN #1

Written by STEVE PUGH

Art by PHIL WINSLADE and JOHN DELL

Cover by STEVE PUGH

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! Life for Harley Quinn has become downright normal over the last year. Will she be ready to go nuts when Catwoman and Poison Ivy draft her to fight – Captain Carrot?!

CONVERGENCE: JUSTICE LEAGUE #1

Written by FRANK TIERI

Art by VICENTE CIFUENTES

Cover by MARK BUCKINGHAM

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! The Justice League story you never expected to see begins when Supergirl, Zatanna, Vixen and Jade attend Jesse Quick’s baby shower, which quickly turns into a life-and-death struggle with Flashpoint Aquaman!

CONVERGENCE: NIGHTWING/ORACLE #1

Written by GAIL SIMONE

Art by JAN DUURSEMA and DAN PARSONS

Cover by JILL THOMPSON

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! Just as they’ve finally been reunited, the romance between Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon is sentenced to execution by Flashpoint Hawkman and Hawkwoman!

CONVERGENCE: THE QUESTION #1

Written by GREG RUCKA

Art and cover by CULLY HAMNER

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! Two-Face is fighting another world’s Harvey Dent, and it’s up to Renee Montoya as The Question to help him beat the odds.

CONVERGENCE: SPEED FORCE #1

Written by TONY BEDARD

Art by TOM GRUMMETT and SEAN PARSONS

Cover by BRETT BOOTH and NORM RAPMUND

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! The fastest family alive loses its powers as Wally West and his kids face an uncertain future while trapped away from home. Will they be able to outrun the chaos that follows the arrival of Flashpoint Wonder Woman? Plus, don’t miss the most unexpected Zoo Crew character of all!

CONVERGENCE: SUPERMAN #1

Written by DAN JURGENS

Art and cover by LEE WEEKS

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! A powerless Superman is called upon to protect Gotham City…and his pregnant wife Lois Lane!

CONVERGENCE: TITANS #1

Written by FABIAN NICIEZA

Art RON WAGNER and JOSE MARZAN, JR.

Cover by EMANUELA LUPACCHINO

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM THE PRE-FLASHPOINT DCU! Starfire and Donna Troy track down Arsenal, who had retreated after the loss of his arm and the death of his daughter – but what they find is more terrifying than they ever could have expected!

CONVERGENCE: AQUAMAN #1

Written by TONY BEDARD

Art by CLIFF RICHARDS

Cover by BECKY CLOONAN

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! Aquaman has lost his home, his powers, and his hand – but now he faces his most difficult challenge: a battle to the finish with Deathblow!

CONVERGENCE: BATMAN: SHADOW OF THE BAT #1

Written by LARRY HAMA

Art by PHILIP TAN and JASON PAZ

Cover by PHILIP TAN

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! Fresh out of recovery from a broken back, Bruce Wayne infiltrates the organized crime underworld, but the outlaw sent to test his mettle is none other than Azrael!

CONVERGENCE: CATWOMAN #1

Written by JUSTIN GRAY

Art by RON RANDALL

Cover by CLAIRE WENDLING

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! A year under the dome can change anyone – even Catwoman. She’s set aside her life of crime to become the protector of Suicide Slum, but when the dome falls she will face her greatest challenge: Kingdom Come Batman!

CONVERGENCE: GREEN ARROW #1

Written by CHRISTY MARX

Art by RAGS MORALES and CLAUDE ST-AUBIN

Cover by RAGS MORALES

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! Don’t miss the first meeting between Oliver Queen and his son, Connor Hawke! Father and son may be united, but is their world about to end?

CONVERGENCE: GREEN LANTERN/PARALLAX #1

Written by TONY BEDARD

Art RON WAGNER and BILL REINHOLD

Cover by STEVE LIEBER

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! A powerless Kyle Rayner visits a Metropolis prison to see a devastated Hal Jordan who believes he has murdered the Green Lantern Corps. But if the dome falls and powers are restored, will Parallax return to defend the city or destroy it?

CONVERGENCE: JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #1

Written by RON MARZ

Art by MIKE MANLEY

Cover by PAUL RENAUD

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! Ted Kord, Martian Manhunter, Fire and Ice star as the levity of the JLI team collides with the severity of the world of Kingdom Come!

CONVERGENCE: SUICIDE SQUAD #1

Written by FRANK TIERI

Art by TOM MANDRAKE

Cover by JOHN PAUL LEON

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! When Kingdom Come’s floating fortress of New Oa threatens Metropolis, it’s up to Amanda Waller to assemble a team of Metropolis’s deadliest villains to stop it.

CONVERGENCE: SUPERBOY #1

Written by FABIAN NICIEZA

Art by KARL MOLINE and JOSE MARZAN, JR.

Cover by BABS TARR

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! Has Kon-El earned the right to be the new Man of Steel? Kon will have to prove his mettle in battle against the Superman of Kingdom Come! But what if the only way to save Metropolis is to lose the fight?

CONVERGENCE: SUPERGIRL: MATRIX #1

Written by KEITH GIFFEN

Art by TIMOTHY GREEN II

Cover by HOWARD PORTER

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! What do Supergirl, Lady Quark, and Ambush Bug have in common? Well...nothing, really. But that doesn’t stop them from appearing in this story together. You are SO welcome.

CONVERGENCE: SUPERMAN – THE MAN OF STEEL #1

Written by LOUISE SIMONSON

Art by JUNE BRIGMAN and ROY RICHARDSON

Cover by WALTER SIMONSON

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM ZERO HOUR! Superman is missing, so now it’s up to Steel to defend Metropolis from the GEN13 kids!

CONVERGENCE: ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #1

Written by MARV WOLFMAN

Art by ROBERTO VIACAVA and ANDY OWENS

Cover by MIKEL JANIN

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Superman and Supergirl attempt to free their city via the Phantom Zone but learn that if they succeed, a terrible fate awaits Supergirl in Crisis on Infinite Earths!

CONVERGENCE: BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS #1

Written by MARC ANDREYKO

Art CARLOS D’ANDA

Cover by ANDY KUBERT

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! After a year under the dome, the Outsiders have gone their separate ways, but when OMAC attacks, Batman must find out if they have what it takes to still be a team.

CONVERGENCE: THE FLASH #1

Written by DAN ABNETT

Art by FEDERICO DALLOCCHIO

Cover by MICHAEL ALLRED

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Trapped in Gotham City, Barry Allen has nowhere to run. He fights on, seeking justice as well as a way to save the city, but he faces a Tangent Universe foe who thinks faster than even The Flash can run!

CONVERGENCE: GREEN LANTERN CORPS #1

Written by DAVID GALLAHER

Art by STEVE ELLIS and ANDE PARKS

Cover by TONY HARRIS

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Say the Oath, save the world! If only being in the Green Lantern Corps was that easy. Hal has resigned, John is busy, and Guy is pissed. Together for the first time, they’ll save Gotham City or die trying!

CONVERGENCE: HAWKMAN #1

Written by JEFF PARKER

Art by TIM TRUMAN and ENRIQUE ALCATENA

Cover by RAFAEL ALBUQUERQUE

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Hawkman and Hawkgirl put their Shadow War on hold as they face the might of anthropomorphic rat-men and bat-men in the deadly land of Kamandi!

CONVERGENCE: JUSTICE LEAGUE AMERICA #1

Written by FABIAN NICIEZA

Art and cover by CHRISCROSS

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! With their heavy hitters sidelined, Elongated Man must lead the much-maligned “Detroit Justice League” against the overwhelming power of the heroes from the Tangent Universe!

CONVERGENCE: NEW TEEN TITANS #1

Written by MARV WOLFMAN

Art by NICOLA SCOTT and MARC DEERING

Cover by NICOLA SCOTT

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Titans Together! The greatest Titans team of them all takes on the might of the Tangent Universe’s Doom Patrol!

CONVERGENCE: SUPERBOY AND THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #1

Written by STUART MOORE

Art by GUS STORMS and MARK FARMER

Cover by PIA GUERRA

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS!! While Brainiac 5 struggles to break through the dome, Superboy tries to keep the Legion of Super-Heroes’ spirits up – until the Atomic Knights ride into town to cause mass destruction!

CONVERGENCE: SWAMP THING #1

Written by LEN WEIN

Art and cover by KELLEY JONES

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! The dome has cut off all the heroes from their powers – but what happens when Swamp Thing is cut off from his life source in The Green?

CONVERGENCE: WONDER WOMAN #1

Written by LARRY HAMA

Art and cover by JOSHUA MIDDLETON

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Diana Prince is in the grip of a Domesday cult when Steve Trevor leaps into the fray! But can he save Etta Candy from vampires of Red Rain?

CONVERGENCE: ACTION COMICS #1

Written by JUSTIN GRAY

Art by CLAUDE ST-AUBIN

Cover by AMANDA CONNER

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Superman teams up with Power Girl, but can they stop a nuclear strike by Lex Luthor and Stalin of Red Son Moscow?

CONVERGENCE: BLUE BEETLE #1

Written by SCOTT LOBDELL

Art by YISHAN LI

Cover by BRET BLEVINS

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Hub City is on the brink of collapse and anarchy! But its heroes – Blue Beetle, Captain Atom, and The Question – find inspiration and strength from a most unlikely source.

CONVERGENCE: BOOSTER GOLD #1

Written by DAN JURGENS

Art by ALVARO MARTINEZ and RAUL FERNANDEZ

Cover by DAN JURGENS and DANNY MIKI

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Trapped with Rip Hunter and other time travelers, Booster Gold and his future self must work together to get out of prison and off the planet.

CONVERGENCE: CRIME SYNDICATE #1

Written by BRIAN BUCCELLATO

Art and cover by PHIL WINSLADE

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! The Crime Syndicate’s absolute control over their city of a bygone era comes crashing down when Superwoman is on death row while the rest of the team fights the One Million Universe’s Batman and Superman!

CONVERGENCE: DETECTIVE COMICS #1

Written by LEN WEIN

Art by DENYS COWAN and BILL SIENKIEWICZ

Cover by BILL SIENKIEWICZ

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Helena Wayne and Dick Grayson fight side by side in memory of Bruce Wayne as they decide who will become the next Batman.

CONVERGENCE: INFINITY INC. #1

Written by JERRY ORDWAY

Art and cover by BEN CALDWELL

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! The young heroes of Infinity, Inc. must choose between the path set for them by their parents or the one they’ve set for themselves as they face postapocalyptic Jonah Hex.

CONVERGENCE: JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #1

Written by DAN ABNETT

Art by TOM DERENICK and TREVOR SCOTT

Cover by DAN PANOSIAN

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Older and in full retirement under the dome, members of the Justice Society get the chance to regain their youth to stave off forces from the Qward Universe. But the promise of youth comes with a deadly price!

CONVERGENCE: PLASTIC MAN AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS #1

Written by SIMON OLIVER

Art by JOHN McCREA

Cover by HILARY BARTA

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! You have to see this story to believe it! Plastic Man and the Freedom Fighters are on the gallows in a New York City taken over by Nazis, when robot super heroes attack from Futures End and enemies become allies.

CONVERGENCE: SHAZAM! #1

Written by JEFF PARKER

Art and cover by EVAN “DOC” SHANER

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! It’s Shazam versus Steampunk, as the world of Gotham by Gaslight takes on the Captain Marvel family and friends!

CONVERGENCE: WORLD’S FINEST COMICS #1

Written by PAUL LEVITZ

Art by JIM FERN, JOE RUBINSTEIN and SHANNON WHEELER

Cover by AARON LOPRESTI

Variant cover designed by CHIP KIDD

STARRING HEROES FROM CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS! Read the most unusual tale in all of Convergence! The Seven Soldiers of Victory regroup to defend their city against the Qward invasion, while cartoonist Scribbly Jibbet transcribes their adventures.

My copy of Convergence Detective Comics #1 only has two pages. One of them is in Red Son Moscow, the other has Babs 'n' Dick in the BatCar driving to Metropolis. I am not sure I want to find a working version to finish it. That's how the scratchy grim 'n' gritty art makes me feel. I'll see. Denys Cowan and Billy the Sink feels like it should look better.

Convergence Infinity Inc #1 is where I begin to lose it. It's just a stream of words and colours and none of it makes any real sense. Depowered, they put on a school play which nobody likes and look a bit sad about it. They're all a bit bullied because they're all a bit crap but before we get a chance to actually examine the topic the dome comes down and despite being all peaceful and nice they decide what they need to do is get in fights like Uncanny Braniac wants so go and meet up with Jonah Hex from the future, who shoots at them. Blah blah blah.

OMG! Convergence JSA #1 is actually really interesting! On Earth 2, and without their powers, the Golden Age heroes are now old and dying. Doctor Fate is in a coma, The Flash is growing plants on his roof, Alan Scott is drinking tea. Then the dome comes down, Qward comes in, and the peace is interrupted. The heroes call on their powers for one last time, knowing it will kill them but they want to save the city. It strikes me the successful books in Convergence have been the ones that haven't been trying to appeal to nostalgia or revelling in fanwank but have just, you know, tried to be good? Because people like good comics. Or most of them do.

Convergence Plastic Man #1 is on Earth X, where it's still WWII and the Germans are in New York. We get an explanation of what Earth X is actually about for the vast majority of the comic, bookended with some shots of the depowered Plas/Freedom Fighters in a dungeon. Can you be nostalgic for something you clearly don't remember, because you have to have it explained to you? Or is it just a chance for the writer to do something he's always wanted to and you'll buy it through name recognition? I can't work out who this is supposed to sell to, but I quite like it I suppose. It feels like Astro City, or that JMS/Chris Weston book (The Twelve?) and then in the last page Future's End gets trailed as the Big Bad for #2. This is is technology Bad that destroyed and entire world and defeated all the heroes. ALL of them. It's impossible that some crap ones that can't even beat some normal soldiers can win this. The fact they will has a crushing inevitability about it that puts me off reading it already.

Convergence Shazam #1 feels like it want to be GRITTY at the outset, featuring a suicide bomber (sadly not the BatISIS) but sort of settles down into the GOSH GEE WHILLAKERS comic that something set in the Fawcett Universe should be. It's no CC Beck, it's not even Jeff Smith, but it's better than Geoff Johns' version. There's a bit of fighting between the heroes and the Monster Society, although it's arguably an attempt in box ticking. Uncle Dudley! Talky Tawny! Etc! Next issue has them fighting the Batman from Mike Mignola's Gotham By Gaslight. That feels like a bit of a mis-step.

Convergence World's Finest #1 is the most obscure of all these titles. It stars Scribbly Jibbet, who is the Earth 2 version of the photographer guy in Marvels. Him and the Shining Knight get trapped and depowered then repowered and then Uncanny Braniac gives them the cheat code to win Convergence because they're the best ever and the writer of this hasn't read the main book so doesn't know that's supposed to be Dick Grayson. <excised long rant about editing and how people get paid to do it> Ho hum.

Atom by Peyer and Yeowell, Harley & Catwoman & Ivy vs Captain Carrot by Pugh & Winslade, and Plastic Man Vs Nazis drawn by McCrea could have drawn my attention if these had actually been marketed, but then I would have expected them to be fun stand-alones, not disconnected tie-ins to a beyond-moronic crossover.

also mmmmaybe Giffen on Ambush Bug & Lady Quark but no-name artist isn't promising after the last Bug fiasco, and Swamp Thing by Wein & Jones would have but Before Watchmen scabbing is gross even when you don't gloat about how you're getting your comeuppance by doing it

interesting how many are still done by regular nu-52 hacks. (and it would help if you mentioned the creators to blame in the reviews!)

They're probably the best books, yes.

So, I read Convergence Detective Comics #1 in the end and I was wrong ^^^, because it was The Huntress in the car, not Babs. It's actually much better than I gave it credit for and deals mainly with Red Son Superman's coping strategies at being powerless. Dick and Helena talk a lot. Then Sky Braniac opens the domes and it turns out Red Son Man is the good guy and Huntress is the asshole. You know what would make this better and more complete? SUICIDE BOMBER HUNTRESS BITCHES. I can't work out if they've done that deliberately having read the main book, or accidentally having not read the main book. The main selling point of this is undoubtedly supposed to be the art, which is really entertaining in an early Moon Knight way. This could be pulled round next issue into one of the highlights tbh.

So what's the deal with the Convergence solicitations? When I was picking up FCBD stuff this weekend I overheard the employees complaining about DC dumping a bunch of stuff on them. Did DC just say 'eight mystery Convergence crossovers released each week!'? Because, if so, that's some straight bullshit and I would not blame shop owners at all for doing a hardcore DC purge once this is all over.

Dunno, the solicits were all well in advance - the C&P I did above was from January - but there was iirc a quite convoluted Sale Or Return deal just for Convergence bundled in with it? ISTR a news story from the beginning of the year that stores were deliberately over-ordering to get specific retailer incentive covers which they started scalping before even receiving them? I'm guessing DC plugged the hole in their plan by cancelling the returns?

DC paused 95% of ongoing series for two months (while they moved to Burbank, I assume) in favor of this shit, but when they presented it up front it was... less half-assed than it turned out to be. DC wanted retailers to believe this was the short-term equivalent of Secret Wars.

Okay, I knew all that. I just wasn't sure if they were playing those "CLASSIFIED!" games with this stuff in Previews or something.

How many of the Convergence writers are (ex-)Marvel and DC editors? At first glance, it looks like roughly 90%.

By short term, did they mean cramming 8 months of crossover books into two months?

The big unforgettable event of the year! World's collide! Nothing will be the same!

The DC Divergence Free Comic Book Day book was the only one I had leftover.

Ha ha. Yeah, I didn't even bother to pick up the thing DC was giving away for free.

I find the DC universe totally incomprehensible at this point

Last fall's DC strategy of launching six new Bat-titles pretty much shit the bed so I don't know what they'll do now.

What happened?

I'm genuinely curious because I haven't been paying that much attention to DC of late: is there any sense that they're taking the pulse of what their audience actually wants? I mean, there's a lot of obvious fan service going on of late, but are they checking in to see if it's legitimately serving anyone? It seems like the folks at Marvel have at least some interest in what people want to buy but DC seems intent on doubling down on stuff that many people have been vocal about not digging. And while I applaud the stones it takes to launch Bizarro and Prez titles without really testing the waters, it feels more than a bit like there's a crazy person at the wheel.

http://cdn.bleedingcool.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Geoff-Johns-Rings1.jpg

xp - they launched a new young adult Gotham title (Gotham Manor, IIRC), a horror one (Arkham something?), relaunched Batgirl and Catwoman, did a weekly series and there's one other title that's slipping my mind. None were hits, the horror title has already been cancelled, I think.

Batgirl was exciting for month one with a new costume/concept, but DC didn't make her as interesting as, say, the new Ms. Marvel (of which new-Batgirl is something of a rip-off)

I'm genuinely curious because I haven't been paying that much attention to DC of late: is there any sense that they're taking the pulse of what their audience actually wants?

DC maybe needs to do less fan-service and more "establishing a coherent universe" and bring the fans along with them - build Superman and Wonder Woman into something interesting again, etc.. When they do stuff(like Multiversity with a clear voice, it works pretty well.

I haven't read any non-Morrison big 2 titles in longer than I can remember but I feel like every time I pick something up to glance through I'm thrown in the middle of some nigh-incomprehensible continuity EVENT nonsense... I kinda wish superheroes would just go back to, like, solving bank robberies and fighting on top of giant appliances and occasionally worrying about someone figuring out their secret identity

It was cool when Marvel had the regular 616 books and the Ultimate stuff and the Marvel Adventures stuff and various other non-continuity series and miniseries running at the same time so that there was always a jumping-on point with a relatively low barrier to entry. The Big 2 seem to have gotten away from that, which is a shame. And there's the dumb stuff they regularly do which ignores the obvious synergy they could be exploiting in a given moment, like, ohhhhhhh I don't know, maybe not cancelling every last one of the Avengers titles at the exact same time that a new Avengers movie is being released.

Bat titles were Gotham Academy (a quite interesting teen book by Becky Clooney set in a spooky old school, w/ fleeting glimpses and hints of Bat-villains - although Killer Croc has more of a role towards the end and Damian Wayne shows up at the conclusion - which probably deserves better and would be just as viable with no Bat-connection tbh), Arkham Manor (a mini-series imo, which is why I would speculate it's not continuing beyond #6, where Bats goes undercover in the Asylum to find out who's killing the inmates), Gotham By Midnight (The Spectre in spooky cop shit capers, drawn in a very Ben Templesmith style) and reboots of Batgirl (as said, an inferior Ms Marvel up until the Babs/computer mindswap shenanigans which didn't really work at all and was all a bit rushed in the headlong rush into Convergence) and Catwoman (more of a crime drama, probably too early to call it). Plus Batman Eternal, which was a weekly story (when DC were already publishing two other weekly titles and this was clearly the red-headed stepchild as far as they were concerned) and is far too fast paced and has a bloated and oversized cast, changes to continuity that come out of it don't get a chance to ripple through it before they have to change character arc. That said, the Cluemaster arc was REALLY good. Best to think of it as a tv series, with plot threads that run thoughout but basically a collection of short stories linked by a character set. There's a Season 2 coming later in the year.

There are post-convergence Bat titles of Batman Beyond, a Damian Wayne book and a kind of Anonymous/hacktivist Robin book featuring normal kids who wear the mask and call themselves "Robin" (scarequotes not mine). Oh, and a Bat-Mite mini by Dan Jurgens. Yes, really.

Super-weardown was as bad, if not worse than Bat-weardown tbh, we've had Action, Batman/Superman, Superboy, Supergirl, Superman, Superman/Wonder Woman, Superman Unchained, Superman: Lois Lane and Superman: Doomed, with a new Doomsday book as well as a Bizarro book coming out after Convergence. On top of this, Power Girl has been the dominant character in Earth 2 and World's Finest, plus are LoSH still considered Superman Family?

I feel like DC are kind of willing to take a chance from California, as you can see from solicits of Levitz on Doctor Fate, Omega Men, Conner and Palmiotti on Starfire, giving Alisa Kwitney a book and the aforementioned minis of Bat-mite, Bizarro, a Harley Quinn/Power Girl mini set between two panels of the regular HQ series, Prez and a Ennis/McCrea Hitman spin-off. Although the fact so many of them are deliberate minis might show a lack of commitment.

Challop here, but Marvel are even more guilty of flogging their prize assets into the ground. They may well have had great recent books like Black Widow, Hawkeye, All-New Ghost Rider and Iron Fist, but in the Marvel Now era (which is not yet 3 years old) they have also had no less than 16 different Avengers titles, and 21 different X-books including an entire Wolverine wing and not counting Kitty Pride being all over GotG (which itself has had 4 different books and a full-on crossover event). Let's not go near the Spider-titles because there have been about 30 of them.