rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

http://i.imgur.com/RcLeq7z.jpg

I need this two minutes ago

That's all I really want from McDonalds anyway. Now all it needs is a tiny cardboard canoe full of dipping sauces.

need a belt of fry holsters

A french fry bandolier

http://thehunt.insnw.net/app/public/system/zine_images/1588085/original/71fa893652d1a052890a9e8de9bf62b9.jpg

DakiMcUra

http://gothamist.com/2015/04/13/shrewd_taco_skateboard_marketing.php

i don't even know this fits here but this is completely incredible

Human taco Jon Newport and production manager Ben Wilkes, who took the video, spoke with Animal about the incident, which happened on Saturday afternoon. Newport was apparently a professional skateboarder at 16, which inspired Wilkes's confidence; "But as soon as he passed me I was like, 'Oh shit,'" he told the site. Taco toppings apparently obscured Newport's vision as he excited the ramp, resulting in the crash at the bottom.

omg huge lols
HUMAN TACO

The highway's jammed with broken tacos

i need to see that footage

The highway's jammed with broken tacos

― ^^^ NOT METAL (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, April 15, 2015 7:18 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DigtCrO77L8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIpa7lxfhUs

new death grips album is just audio of skateboarding taco being hit by a car

https://36.media.tumblr.com/3d2b67d6730739e11622a512272f7e22/tumblr_n80hgpFZ2m1qzjw8go1_500.png

i like the suggestion that's a universal truth
first job i ever had when i was 14 was at a kentucky fried chicken; they had me cleaning the grease off the trays with some industrial strength type acid bath shit and didn't give me gloves. after two days, my hands swelled up to twice their size so they fired me.

:(

shit will turn you vegan

That's Victorian England level shit.

how did the towel taste, is what I'm wondering

Japanese, but...

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/dam-curry-rice-damukare-japan-bento-01.jpg

http://www.boredpanda.com/dam-curry-rice-damukare-japan/

"We're not on our game," McDonald's CEO Steve Easterbrook admitted. But he expressed confidence the brand once again can dominate the quick-service burger market. Read about his plan.

http://burgerbusiness.com/mcdonalds-market-driven-blueprint/

http://burgerbusiness.com/mcdonalds-tests-smaller-tastecrafted-platform/

when are we gonna see the world stop chasin chipotle w/ the halfassed gourmet flavor customization options

never probably

Everybody's fuckin with ghost peppers right now. I feel like we've jumped several iterations of heat in a very short time. Sriracha is so mid to late last yearpart. GHOST PEPPERS, BIIIITCH.

It’s a 3-step ordering process.

Awesome, their drive-thru window already takes ten minutes to get through, I'm sure this will help.

I have the taco bell app now. Recommended if you enjoy the gaze of a bored teenage cashier as you walk directly to the sauce packet cache of an empty taco bell.

has it occurred to mcdonalds that there's a vast number of their customers who have never been to a chipotle?

no one goes to mcdonalds to fine-tune their source of protein. They want a burger, some fries, maybe some nuggets. Playing 20 Questions in the drive-thru is just going to piss people off.

I thought ghost peppers were supposed to, like, incapacitatingly spicy. What are these false fast food ghost peppers?

Wendy's has ghost pepper cheese fries, I think Jack in the Box is doing a ghost pepper burger. I'm guessing they're mixing a tiny amount of extract with a cream sauce that will keep it from really burning your mouth.

ghost pepper packaging

got ghost pepper "cream cheese" on my bagel at a vegan grindcore coffeehouse once, I dig spicy but was not a pleasant experience imo

def a "you can brag to your friends that you ate this garbage" criteria to many food lab inventions that fake ghost pepper toppings fulfill

ah, yeah. i was deceived by the wendy's ghost pepper cheese fries because it has chopped peppers on it. apparently those are jalapenos and the ghost pepper is the sauce.

glad that's settled.

http://burgerbusiness.com/mcdonalds-tests-smaller-tastecrafted-platform/

Because ordering from Subway is so awesome. Now you can also tell a McDonalds employee how to make a sandwich!

you can tell them how but have them tell you no actually we can't do that we can only do whats been TASTECRAFTED and you say but i thought this was like a i have it my way thing and they say no i've never heard of that being done before but that's not what this is it is TASTECRAFTED so do you still want the pico guacamole or not

ghost peppah he don't fuck with me

http://i60.tinypic.com/11tq7b8.jpg

Here's your new Hamburglar, guys.

omg hipster doucheburglar

Tynan?

lol i will be appropriating 'doucheburglar'

douche burglar, male gurgler

lol crut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbBP5KxrNNg

Good to know even the Hamburglar doesn't fuck with McDonald's anymore except on special occasions.

for fuck's sake is this gonna be some PTSD Manchurian Candidate shit where suburban doucheburglar is AWAKENED by some fuckin' McDonalds promo
Sterling Cooper Drake Price wouldn't have let this shit out of the brainstorming session, i call bullshit

i like how they think that a whispered baritone "robble robble" is gonna be a major catchphrase with all the kids
FUCK OFF MCDONALD'S YOU GUYS ARE TERRIBLE

if we're lucky it'll come to be something you say to mock bad advertising

or when sexing rob huebel

"you see millennials crave excitement... but they also need to know that they have security, a home to go back to when the moment to cut loose has past. they want to be someone who can manage a family, have their own interest... but has to let the animal out. gentlemen, what this generation craves... is a new hamburglar. and who else but mcdonald's is going to give it to them? James, can you get the lights?"