Songs where the singer/protagonist comes off as a serious dick without meaning to

MAYbe it's the best thing.... FOR YOU

It has been stated that, along with "MacArthur Park" and "By The Time I Get to Phoenix", "The Worst That Could Happen" is about a relationship that Webb had had with a woman named Susan.[2] (...)

The song appeared on the list of songs deemed inappropriate by Clear Channel following the September 11, 2001 attacks specifically and inexplicably listing the Johnny Maestro & The Brooklyn Bridge version, but not the 5th Dimension version, despite their note-for-note similarity.

The "without meaning to" criterion is not being observed. "Sunny Afternoon"? "All Apologies"? "Always on My Mind"? Look, ARIZONA. Songs where the singer is utterly clueless of anything except his own serene unquestioned rightness. No ironic distance, no apologies - because what would there even be to apologize for?

"Having My Baby" is a good one. "Teach Your Children" invites everyone of a certain age & outlook to join in: just look at them and sigh.

"Leaving on a Jet Plane," especially when sung by a man.

Why especially?

It's terrible the way he's making the taxi driver wait and stuff.

"So many times I've played around... they don't mean a thing."

Because infidelity is only a problem if you give a shit about your mistresses?

Hey, babe, my many previous flings were just meaningless flings. So don't even worry about them, or worry about the fact that I'm currently going out of town again for an unspecified period of time. So, just to reiterate, I don't plan to cheat on you, but even if I did, it wouldn't be with someone MEANINGFUL or anything like that. Either way - tell me you'll wait for me. With your legs closed.

Maybe. Just guessing here.

"two sisters" seems pretty dickish if you don't know ray davies' family history.

"Getting Better" has the lines "I used to be cruel to my woman/I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved", a little much for a feel-good tune

that shitty Sergio Mendes ballad "Never Gonna Let You Go". whole thing is pretty much shorthand for - "aww fuck I left you and realized I didn't want to. sorry bout that. But hey, good news, I'm ready to come back to you now, so just wanted to let you know we're back on".

call your girlfriend to thread

Love the school of song criticism where somebody says "this is this kind of song" and then proceeds to criticize it for not being a good example of the type of song the critic just said it is. Kind of a win win for the critic there.

Ha, yeah, a song where someone openly admits "I used to be cruel" doesn't seem like an example of "coming off as a serious dick without meaning to".

If 'unreliable narrator' songs, where the singer knows the protagonist is a dick but the protagonist doesn't, count, then "Somebody I Used to Know" seems like an obvious answer.

It was early morning yesterday, I was up before the dawn
And I really have enjoyed my stay but I must be moving on
Like a king without a castle, like a queen without a throne
I'm an early morning lover and I must be moving on

Just because someone is aware of past dickishness doesn't mean they realize how shallow and dickish their *current* gesture

is

agreed.

"Call Your Girlfriend" is tough though b/c I feel like the performance/arrangement is so sad and aware of the hopelessness of the entire situation - it's like Robyn is aspiring to having this dickish blase world-wise attitude and providing the cheating partner with just the right things to say, but she makes clear she doesn't really believe any of it or that any of these three characters is going to be happy at the end. Different category of thing IMO, if not quite in the "the whole plot is that the protagonist is evil" a la "Every Breath You Take" or "Somebody That I Used To Know."

'Thank You Very Much' by Kaiser Chiefs. I can't help but wonder how they feel about that song now that hardly anyone gives a shit about 'em.

But I mean, what would make the protagonist in "Getting Better" less dickish, if not admitting his past mistakes and anger issues and saying he's trying to change?

I guess the thing is that the character thinks that just talking about his past ways, and saying he's doing better now, makes it all better. Which maybe flew for a second in 1967 (?) but certainly doesn't square right now - it's a pretty fucking easy redemption for an apparent past pattern of horrible cruelty! For me at least, the thread concept is really tied up with a certain kind of "sensitive male" voice/persona/character, which is probably why a lot of the key examples come from the late 60s and 70s... lotta overlap with blithe hippie dudes figuring that if they're free-thinking, they've pretty much solved it all and can't possibly still be assholes.

"but certainly doesn't square right now.

i.e. now we can parrot ideas that previous peoples actually had to risk something to make real & act like it's real obvious cuz we're so awesomely aware.

you'll have to show me where "it" says either:

1. "Getting Better" is a "feel-good tune"

2. that saying he's doing better now (or actually "doing the best that I can"): "makes it all better"

Good luck.

Oh hey I came up with an improvement on the "Leaving" lyrics:

"So kiss me and smile for me / Sleep with anyone you want"

Because nobody in a relationship doesn't like to be told that.

Come correct everybody.

You're very cranky about this.

The Byrds - Triad

I hear "Getting Better" the same way as Vic, I think. I never thought of "I've got to admit it's getting better/It gets a little better all the time/(It couldn't get much worse)" as a blithe feel-good sentiment.

"C is for Cookie". There are 25 other letters in the alphabet you furry blue myopic fuck

OTM. Chocolate also not getting recognized.

"You're very cranky about this."

No, I'm utterly psychotic about this. I may be a dick.

time to write a song

Can't believe nobody's said Diane by Husker Du yet. What a dick that narrator is.

Oh hey I came up with an improvement on the "Leaving" lyrics:

"So kiss me and smile for me / Sleep with anyone you want"

Because nobody in a relationship doesn't like to be told that.

cf. "Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues"

Yes thank you. Not sure either that I'll go so far as to tell Elton John's girl to wait for him.

However. A certain tendency so far would threaten to turn Sting and Stills with "If you love somebody set them free" & "Love the one you're with" into nondix

ARE YOU PREPARED TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE STING AND STILLS ARE NONDIX ?

Descendents - I'm the One

"stay" by pink floyd- the narrator spends the first half of the song trying to get a girl to sleep with him, and the second half of the song trying to get rid of her. that's pretty dickish. "octopus" by vdgg has kind of the same trajectory but that song at least is balanced out by narrator's horror that he's spent all this time trying to get to know this girl 'cos she's cute and then finds out that he's repelled by her personality.

vdgg song is all about the narrator, not the object, imo, and is quite a mature & cynical self-criticism from someone in their early 20s

although he was clearly dick enough that his wife left him & took the kid(s) a bit later so idk, self-absorbed intense soi-disant poet possibly not the most empathetic

"but certainly doesn't square right now.

i.e. now we can parrot ideas that previous peoples actually had to risk something to make real & act like it's real obvious cuz we're so awesomely aware.

― Vic Perry, Monday, March 30, 2015 9:09 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you'll have to show me where "it" says either:

1. "Getting Better" is a "feel-good tune"

2. that saying he's doing better now (or actually "doing the best that I can"): "makes it all better"

Good luck.

― Vic Perry, Monday, March 30, 2015 9:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

FWIW I have no idea why you're being so intense and weird about this, but it doesn't really make me feel like responding. I'm down with a friendly discussion of Beatles lyrics/performances and whether they seem dickish or not, or even a meta-discussion of what it is to apply present-day mores to forty-eight-year-old pop lyrics, but not if it's going to be some AOL messageboard sneerfest deal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5o0I0faJAI

Okay, I could be friendlier about serious dicks.

Jack White's songs, in general?

Tangential thought in re "Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues": Until recently, my wife charmingly misheard the lyric "rolling like thunder" as "rolling like flounder."

That really is charming! and how I shall sing the song from this day forward.

Les Boys - Dire Straits

very relieved to see vic perry sticking up so bravely for that immensely underrated band, the beatles, and their enormously overlooked and unfairly criticized sgt pepper album

lol

straw dicking

is that anything like shrimping

no but shrimpdicking sounds like something to try too