Misdirected emails

that final quote is kind of dark

NC1 ... system ... is abnormal ... Dave, stop ... Stop, will you? Stop, Dave ... Will you stop Dave? ... Stop, Dave.

The other day, I regret to advise I was on the other side of this equation. Yes, I sent a misdirected email :( I've been trying to find someone to take over my apartment lease, and an acquaintance tweeted me asking for more info, adv me her email address.

I emailed her twitter handle instead of her gmail, as the username. Realised my error a few days later when I hadnt heard back, but I SENT THE WRONG PERSON MY FULL STREET ADDRESS AND PHOTOS OF THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE :(

I just hope its a dead email/the person doesnt live in this country.

probably posting about it on a hamster fan forum

I think most australians have yet to get email so you're probably ok?

hey now

in the us we mostly use "America Online"

Everyone's hanging out in Uncle Julio's Perth and giggling at you.

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$13.99 Chicken Fajita Cobb
$0.00 Chipotle Ranch
$6.17 Fajita (kids)
$0.00 Chicken
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 New Mexico Red Sauce
$12.59 Three
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 New Mexico Red Sauce
$12.59 Three

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$2.82 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$8.16 tip
$56.31 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 6:00 PM

Please note that your total may be slightly different if any special requests you made cost extra.

Thanks,
Mobile Waiters

whenever this thread is bumped i get a pavlovian craving for mexican food

omg I was just going to post that! I get a massive craving for chips and salsa.

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(fucking DISGUSTING ENRAGING photos omitted.)

hunting the wild crawfish

asdfouj how do you even –––

Hello Kyla Henderson,

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 Salsa Verde
$12.59 Three
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 Salsa Verde
$12.59 Three

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$1.41 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$3.78 tip
$30.36 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 6:49 PM

Please note that your total may be slightly different if any special requests you made cost extra.

Thanks,
Mobile Waiters

Jim,

Thank you for your interest in serving in the Usher/Greeter ministry. Please fill out the attached application and return it to me. Let me know if you have any questions.

In His Service,

Don ###
########
Usher/Greeter ministry

So open the application to see what questions are asked:

If you were to die tonight and stand before God and He asked you why should I let you into heaven,

what would your answer be?

and

Please write out your personal testimony on how you became a Child of God.

TO BE A GODDAMNED USHER/GREETER.

Then I get another email with an user/greeter handbook attached. It goes into great detail about what to do if someone has a heart attack, seizures, heat exhaustion, diabetics, and mentally unbalanced or disruptive persons:

The tenor or our times has created a climate where increasingly we may be exposed to mentally unbalanced persons. It is the responsibility of every usher and greeter to watch for unbalanced or disruptive persons, or actual threats to the leadership on the platform or any member of the congregation. In order to avert many disruptions and even in some instances, tragedy:

-One usher per aisle should always remain at the rear of the sanctuary, sitting in the seats reserved for ushers.
-Keep an eye on the congregation in front of you and be alert for unusual movement.
-Observe facial expressions of strangers entering the building for any tell-tale signs of a violent or argumentative nature. If you see such persons, do not attempt to confront them, but notify the usher/greeter coordinator, pointing out these individuals
-If someone moves toward the stage, or any member of the leadership team when not invited, move with them and be prepared to prevent them from getting onto the stage.
-Always watch the pastor/speaker for signals pointing out a disruptive or unbalanced person

The tenor of our times!

Write Don back and ask for clarification on what that means.

Also what denomination is that church?

Not RC.

My dad's an usher at his LDS precinct. He tells me one of his duties is to close the door and not let anyone in during Communion.

To which I asked, what the hell is going on during the rest of the service? People walking in and out like they're registering for fall classes?

And the power of memory – Jeff's misdirected email brought back from 30 years ago the face of an usher at St. Albert's, this redfaced Rich Hall-looking cat with a mustache. Nice guy and all, but his bloodshot eyes always begged for redemption.

Not RC.

My dad's an usher at his LDS precinct. He tells me one of his duties is to close the door and not let anyone in during Communion.

To which I asked, what the hell is going on during the rest of the service? People walking in and out like they're registering for fall classes?

And all this time, I thought it was just the Protestants who wandered around like it was a book fair.

I think Catholics get an extra helping of shame if they're late

We walk in before mass, genuflect, take our spot in the pew and then we stay there until Communion. We get our exercise from the standing and kneeling.

mh otm

extra helpings for wearing uncouth clothing to communion or for leaving before final blessing, as well.

Well someone just sent me Jim Mylastname's 2014 tax return, including his address and SSN.

Hi Guys,
Mon morning I am making a trip to Rockwall, aka Seyco, to pick up a new saw. If there is anything you need from there I can bring it back for you to save you the shipping. Call Ray Mon morning to place your order and I will get it from him;

The upper linkage in my saw broke. By the time I figured out what it would cost me and time it would take me to change it all out, I figured for a little more money I could get a new saw. Plus Ray will give a couple of bucks for my saw. I am going to get the Limited Edition saw. Don't ask me why. I just like it.

Check your exploded view of your saw. See if the upper linkage is solid or if there is an adjustable link in the linkage. The adjustable link has not worked out as planned. The only time they use this is during the initial set up. This is what broke on my saw. The same thing happened to my buddy in New York. Just so you know the replacement parts for this is $114.

Norm

Love the idea of these saw enthusiasts looking out for each other in their saw-related endeavors.

Norm,

Oh, god, I just now got your email about the saw….

I could use a sawzall, please advise

some jerk in rhode island used my address to sign up to a dozen right wing sites today and they'll all give my address to associated causes, why oh why does nobody verify addresses anymore

I seem to get lots of emails from people using my email to sign up when they get a car or a car serviced. Dozens of dealerships all around the country email me when it's time to get the oil changed in a car that I don't own.

Someone's signed me up to some BS ebook place called BookBub. It looks like its all shitty selfpub Twilight style crap and self-help wellness warrior cookbooks.

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$0.00 Chile Con Queso
$5.99 Cup
$1.99 Chorizo
$10.79 Crispy Taco Plate
$0.00 All Pulled Chicken
$10.79 Crispy Taco Plate
$1.85 Add Cheese and Sour Cream
$0.00 All Pulled Chicken

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$1.85 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$4.71 tip
$37.96 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 8:25 PM

Please note that your total may be slightly different if any special requests you made cost extra.

Thanks,
Mobile Waiters

luciana cosmas <lucianacos✧✧✧@gm✧✧✧.c✧✧>
11 Apr (2 days ago)
Reply
to me
mambo

like.. ok?

She is the cosmas

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$20.99 Juarez
$0.00 Combo
$6.17 Fajita (kids)
$0.00 Chicken
$6.17 Fajita (kids)
$0.00 Beef

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$1.98 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$5.00 tip
$40.30 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 8:25 PM

Please note that your total may be slightly different if any special requests you made cost extra.

Thanks,
Mobile Waiters

no, thank YOU mobile waiters

and thank you uncle julio's perineum

ew.

I don't want anything from u except a cigarette.....you can come ur things I promise I'm not going to stop u.....I have learned you can not hold on to anything that not holding on to u I get it now.....I just need this one favor.....if u can just forgive me for my troubles and doings and bring me a couple cigs please I'm going crazy over here there's no one here.......they been gone since earlier and I need one bad.....and I don't know if u got my other messages just ignore them......but ur business cards here and stuff u can come get them.... I want say anything to u.....I mean what I'm saying I'm now accepting the facts.....

Sent from my iPad

hard times for uncle julio

straight marinara

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$10.79 Crispy Taco Plate
$0.00 All Pulled Chicken
$10.79 Crispy Taco Plate
$0.00 All Pulled Chicken
$20.99 Juarez
$0.00 Combo

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$2.63 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$7.66 tip
$52.85 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 4:21 PM

Please note that your total may be slightly different if any special requests you made cost extra.

Thanks,
Mobile Waiters

I sure wish Spotify required email verification before you can create an account.

there oughta be a law

playing their new hit "Zero Dollar Combo" off the new album Juarez, welcome to the stage ALL PULLED CHICKEN

The most recent ding dong to use my email address to create a spotify account is at least subscribed to a good playlist that I am now following as well - https://play.spotify.com/user/12131875258/playlist/0ydkUdMC7YKssM1j3atOGE

Dear Year Up,

I just wanted to give you a brief summary of my ninth teen week at Year Up. I just wanted to share with my professors how awesome my week was. To start I had a great Monday pro skills class which I learned a lot of new interview tips. For example, I learned that asking questions in a interview is very important and can help you land a job opportunity. Further, in my week Thursday I turn in my project for Financial Accounting which I believe should be an A+ if you ask me. I'm looking forward to Friday for are guest speaker I want to learn more about Successful Business Men and Woman.

Best, Year Up

Year Up Student