"How do you think we had you?"
They screen-printed a T-shirt for me one birthday with a camera and a bottle of beer on it. :/
In a north Liverpool suburb at the weekend we were on our way to a 9th birthday party when we passed half a chocolate cake, abandoned on the pavement, presumably at the spot it slipped from someone's grasp.
Ava: "I hope that's not Abi's."Me: "It's like that song... (singing or "singing") 'Someone left a cake out in the rain / And I don't think that I can take it / Cos it took so long to bake it / And I'll never have the recipe againnnnn'"Ava: (laughing) "What is THAT? That is ridiculous. You made that up."Me: "It's a famous Jimmy Webb song! Look..." (gets the Richard Harris version up on YouTube)Ava and Lulu listen to a few verses, we get to the line...Ava: "Oh, that is just YOU. You recorded that and put your voice through...a thing."Me: "It's real! It's Richard Harris! There are strings and... I mean, why would I even..."Ava: "You're ridiculous, Daddy."
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 09:47 (nine years ago) link
(Anyway, the outcome of this is that I've just ordered A Tramp Shining in time to blow their minds Friday evening).
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 10:09 (nine years ago) link
Ha. I wouldn't believe it either.
― how's life, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 10:19 (nine years ago) link
Haha. That would be a pretty sweet "dad" move to pull on some kids, recording your own YouTubes.
Beeps was asking me one time at the drive-thru window on the way home, "Why do we always have to stop at the liquor store?"
And I say, "Because it's the only place between school and home where I can buy beer without getting out of the car. I don't want you two loose in a liquor store."
She says, "Well it doesn't have alcohol in your beer, does it?"
I just turn around and look at her, "Of course, it has alcohol. Why else would I be drinking it?"
It's fun sometimes to ruin things like Red Ribbon Week.
― pplains, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 13:34 (nine years ago) link
Oh jeez, we don't have a drive-through liquor store around here. Bringing my kids in with me to buy beer is always nerve-wracking. Just thinking about all the stuff they knock over and break at home.
― how's life, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 13:36 (nine years ago) link
Liquor store still one of the few places around that stack fragile items like vodka bottles in a display on the floor, like it's Seamus' General Goods or something.
― pplains, Wednesday, 11 March 2015 13:39 (nine years ago) link
We're basically raising Ivy at the bar on the corner so I don't think the conversation about being drunk will be too difficult.
I'm more worried about the conversation about drugs, particularly when she's older because I am definitely taking a "do as I say, not as I did" stance on them.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 11 March 2015 14:37 (nine years ago) link
Me: You’ve been working very hard today, but like your mother.A: I’m hard! *pause* Hard to take care of!
― how's life, Thursday, 12 March 2015 00:43 (nine years ago) link
(Kicks me in the man-boob)
"I think you're my mom."
― how's life, Monday, 16 March 2015 00:34 (nine years ago) link
convo between my 5 year old and her (christian) friend, who mentioned that god created the world.Daughter: "What? No, the MOON created the world."Friend: "No, it was Jesus..."Daughter: "No! There was a big rock in space and... I don't know, but it wasn't a GUY!"
― tylerw, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 21:30 (nine years ago) link
High five, daughter.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 18 March 2015 21:39 (nine years ago) link
not sure about the moon thing...
― tylerw, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 21:53 (nine years ago) link
Seems as plausible as friend's theory.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 18 March 2015 22:37 (nine years ago) link
Nice.
― a cocoanut rink (how's life), Wednesday, 18 March 2015 22:54 (nine years ago) link
Haha awesome
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Thursday, 19 March 2015 00:27 (nine years ago) link
so good
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 19 March 2015 01:20 (nine years ago) link
Me: You’ve been working very hard today, but like your mother.A: I’m hard! *pause* /Hard to take care of!/
I love this
― gbx, Friday, 20 March 2015 16:50 (nine years ago) link
"but like your mother" should be "just like..." in that exchange. They had spent the afternoon doing yard work together.
― how's life, Friday, 20 March 2015 16:56 (nine years ago) link
Yard to take care of
― kinder, Friday, 20 March 2015 19:04 (nine years ago) link
"If the sun had a butt it could poo on the itsy-bitsy spider".
― everything, Saturday, 25 April 2015 19:43 (eight years ago) link
Hahahaha
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Sunday, 26 April 2015 02:24 (eight years ago) link
Excellent counterfactual thinking!
― ljubljana, Sunday, 26 April 2015 02:39 (eight years ago) link
"Would you like some of this for dinner?""What is it?""Pumpkin soup"In tones of stunned awe: "Pumpkin soup? Pumpkin SOUP? What are you TALKING about?!!"
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 29 April 2015 04:52 (eight years ago) link
I'm having an IRL giggle fit. Pumpkin soup???!? The hell you say!
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 29 April 2015 04:53 (eight years ago) link
I'd feel the same way.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 10:59 (eight years ago) link
Well goddamm, pumpkin soup. What next, a cake made out of CHEESE?
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 April 2015 13:19 (eight years ago) link
And on Sunday we were at a christening, so in a church, and Ella starts patting my wife's jacket. "I like your jacket, Mummy." Long pause, then very loudly: "I can feel you have BOOBS!"
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 29 April 2015 23:26 (eight years ago) link
omg
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 30 April 2015 06:19 (eight years ago) link
ime boobs are a very important ~~imaginary~~ of young girls
― droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 30 April 2015 06:20 (eight years ago) link
Stupendous :)
― Madchen, Thursday, 30 April 2015 07:41 (eight years ago) link
this is amazing
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2015 14:54 (eight years ago) link
[teaching 4 and 5 year olds about herbi-/carni-/omnivores]
kid: "which ones is a cat?"me: "let's think about it. what do cats eat?"kid: "creme de la creme"
― jello my future biafriend (roxymuzak), Friday, 8 May 2015 16:55 (eight years ago) link
!!!
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 13 May 2015 04:30 (eight years ago) link
from my 10 year old nephew the other day:
"Last night I dreamed that my mother was pregnant and also that I was able to whistle!"
― silverfish, Wednesday, 13 May 2015 14:56 (eight years ago) link
A friend's four, almost five-year-old came home and told her dad, "Smell my vulva. It smells wonderful."
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Sunday, 31 May 2015 16:11 (eight years ago) link
O_O
also lol
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 31 May 2015 18:04 (eight years ago) link
O_O is a good approximation of her dad's reaction.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Sunday, 31 May 2015 18:36 (eight years ago) link
Well did it?
jk
― schwantz, Sunday, 31 May 2015 21:18 (eight years ago) link
Just want to indicate that that was not my child.
― Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 1 June 2015 14:36 (eight years ago) link
It was not! I'd never scoop you like that.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Monday, 1 June 2015 21:06 (eight years ago) link
Here's one from my child, as she was DJing by playing songs off of my wife's iPod: "Some DJs like to get funky, but not me."
― Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 1 June 2015 21:22 (eight years ago) link
dj nofunk in tha hizzouse
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 1 June 2015 21:37 (eight years ago) link
I asked her what it means to get funky and she did a really exaggerated rockin' out dance/face.
― Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 1 June 2015 21:48 (eight years ago) link
she's got a point
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 1 June 2015 21:50 (eight years ago) link
Well did it?jk
Hahaha
― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Wednesday, 3 June 2015 19:52 (eight years ago) link
Ah, Aidan instigated the sex talk with Chris the other day:
Aidan : dad, jake says sex is when a man puts his penis in a woman's vagina and wiggles it around?
Chris:(ok, here we go) well, jake's right, son.
A: nooooooooooo ha ha ha ha (pauses) ........Sooooo have you done it?
Chris: (looks around for ejector seat) where do you think you came from?
A: so that *is* how babies are made? Wooooooow........
Chris: Ok, time to go to school.
Then last night A piped up 'mummy, which sex did you like best, when you made me, or when you made Molly?'
― vickyp, Thursday, 4 June 2015 12:40 (eight years ago) link
OMG.
The other day Lulu told me Bob Bunny's middle name was "the f-word - but it's ok, because that just means 'hello' in bunny language".
― Michael Jones, Thursday, 4 June 2015 13:02 (eight years ago) link
Good to know.
― Jeff, Thursday, 4 June 2015 13:03 (eight years ago) link
Fucking like bunnies(' middle names)
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 4 June 2015 19:30 (eight years ago) link
When we were having dinner last night, Ella asks what the music is, then say, "Sorry I can't bop, but I'm eating my pudding."
― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Friday, 5 June 2015 02:38 (eight years ago) link