your terrible ideas

*hands Werther's Original to grandson* now this is what I call growing old disgracefully!

http://i.imgur.com/3kGllli.png

'red hat society' (and variants thereof) is a very rewarding GIS, btw. I think I know how I'm gonna be spending the rest of my Friday night.

That sounds like a pretty good horror movie

er, ah, thanks!

Minus the werthers stuff
But impregnating old ladies w mutant babies? Ok! I'd watch that.

artisanal, locally-mined coal to fuel your vintage power plant

series of opinion columns with deliberately provocative titles but which, on closer inspection, are just a list of things I might buy with my payment from the columns

Barefoot Contessa to host a babies' cookery programme, making things like makka-pakka-roni cheese, called Ina Night Garten

Need an example of a title, DJM.

a public service campaign that alerts the British populace to the damaging effects of calling each other 'm8' on the internet (i.e. it supposedly devalues and trivializes friendship)

slogan: DON'T UNDERESTIM8

the 'adverts' would appear in metro carriages or tube trolleys or whatever you guys call those things

Today I drank a can of Red Bull Tropical, which tasted like someone had eaten a mango and then thrown up. Which co-incidentally was the original formulation of Um Bongo, but they couldn't make a racist advertising jingle out of that so they had to change it.

A Tin Machine tribute band, except all the songs have lyrics that refer to Halo:

Master Chief
Master Chief
Take me anywhere
In a speeding Warthog
with guns blazing in the air
Master Chief
Master Chief

the poetry of William McGonagall performed in a calypso style

High-quality streaming wedding dress service called Bridal

Shut Up and Dance comeback single called "Vaping I'm Vaping"

― Misandry Rooney (Noodle Vague), Monday, June 2, 2014 4:19 PM (10 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

started on these fucking e-cig things this weekend and have had this going round and round in my head

Disposable diapers printed to look like stacks of currency so you can feel like high roller when piling them up on the changing table.

A cell phone recycling company called fuckyoudarren.com. The company will not pay you anything for your shitty old phone, but it will film somebody publicly screaming "Yeah?! Oh Yeah?! Well fuck you, Darren!" before spiking it into the sidewalk.

A screwball comedy movie called Dagnabbit, Ned Raggett!

a temporary edit function that lets you fix typos for the first 20 seconds after you submit a post

or a big warning sign that appears before you submit a post, which says "WHY DON'T YOU JUST READ YOUR POST AGAIN REALLY QUICK BEFORE SUBMITTING IT THIS TIME"

an 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button next to Submit Post that posts "OTM" for you on a random thread

The bb code error page has saved my style 100s of times. I'm just thankful for that and blindly accept my ungrammatical errors.

i use the "are you sure, asshole?" feature on gmail about twenty times a day so an ilx redact button would be a blessing

a proximity beacon in restrooms that turns your phone into "do not disturb mode" while you are in there

urinal proximity beacon that causes your phone to play a loud peeing sound from its speakers upon approach, relieving you of any performance anxiety

or maybe just a speaker in every bathroom that constantly plays peeing sounds. or any sounds, I suppose, if the volume is loud enough.

i am a long time advocate for incredibly loud music in bathrooms

possibly because i work with numerous men with terrible prostrate problems

oh man loud white noise in bathrooms would be amazing.

actually, better make it................................
...................
.............
........
.....
..
brown noise

a film called REMAKE that gets remade and released on the same date every year with the same cast and crew and determinedly sticks faithfully to the original - leading to fans scrutinising every minute of every new release to spot the differences

Highlights Magazine the movie

Would watch the saga of Goofus vs. Gallant on the big screen.

None of those bathroom ideas are terrible, btw. As opposed to any number of widely-accepted ideas currently employed in public restrooms.

such as leaving a gigantic gap between the stall door and frame so that everyone can see you pooping while washing their hands

an 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button next to Submit Post that posts "OTM" for you on a random thread

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, April 29, 2015 11:01 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

I still think about Miami Dad County up thread a lot for whatever reason, and started thinking about how terrible it would be have a Salford Dads Club.

A bunch guys would get together to ride bikes like in the Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before video, but they're all old and wearing dockers and polos with big Morrisey quiffs or dressed kind of gothy with comb-overs and have reflector straps to hold their pant legs in place and have helmet-mounted rearview mirrors and their kids are riding with them in bike trailers or on little pink girl bikes with baskets.

Possibly an amazing idea in disguise: chew toys for adults that replicate the sheer joy of biting ones nails

made of substitute keratin

nom nom nom

Crazy Huge Golf - crazy golf, but scaled up so that each hole is the size of a hole on a regular golf course. So the windmill obstacle is an actual windmill, etc..

Highlights Magazine the movie

― Bookmark No Bingus Permalink (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, April 30, 2015 12:59 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a film called REMAKE that gets remade and released on the same date every year with the same cast and crew and determinedly sticks faithfully to the original - leading to fans scrutinising every minute of every new release to spot the differences

― mea nulta (onimo), Thursday, April 30, 2015 12:58 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

these ideas need to hook up

ha that's what I was sayin

lol why did i reverse them! my sense of cause and effect has gone. the rainman gave me two cures and like a fool i mixed them.

thought you'd just been unrelatedly mulling and decided it was time to bring goofus to life at last.

well that's another idea

might be a Goofus idea. might be a Gallant idea. kinda thing that may only be learned in trying.

^ have a feeling Goofus says this in his head before every Goofus action

Crazy Huge Golf - crazy golf, but scaled up so that each hole is the size of a hole on a regular golf course. So the windmill obstacle is an actual windmill, etc..

Read this twice thinking, But the holes are the same size before shaking my head and rattling the peas a little.

goofus obv the central and enduring character; gallant is prob a hallucination.