Misdirected emails

For a few months last year I kept getting emails from a woman called Freya - I couldn't tell if they were to her son or an ex-lover. They were always like "Wonderful to see you again and you are looking well. Fran is not well but you know how he is. We will be looking forward to Christmas of course."

I felt bad that these sentiments weren't arriving so I told her she had the wrong man, and she apologised. But the emails kept arriving anyway. At Christmas she sent a Christmas greeting that was longer and more heartfelt. I replied as I once again felt bad that it didn't go to the right person, but I couldn't resist adding in "I hope that you and yours have a wonderful festive season."

She sent a nice reply. Not heard from her since then. RIP.

It just goes to show that sometimes love can walk into your life when you least expect it.

xxp i'm also sure the dude in canada used my email to create a dropbox account. when i went there to create an account using my email it told me i already had an account, so i thought that maybe i'd just forgotten about creating it, requested a new password, went in the account and happened upon four or five pics of landscapes, then realised the name shown wasn't mine. last activity on there was from a few years back so i kept the dropbox account and sorry for his 4-5 pics.

one of my namesakes is a real estate agent in la somewhere so I keep getting sent ask these contracts for buying houses.

Ever go on a crutis/77-esque tour of Facebook with your own name? Like facebook.com/pleasant.plains1, facebook.com/pleasant.plains2….

Did that with my name. Turns out, we're all assholes.

Cole, Here is an invitation to the Utah Real Estate website. Upon your acceptance of this invitation, any parcels of land that come on the market, fitting your criteria, will be emailed to you. I can assist you with any listed. Thanks. Brent

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From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$13.99 Chicken Fajita Cobb
$0.00 Chipotle Ranch
$0.00 Our Original Fajitas for 1
$17.49 Chicken

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$1.85 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$4.72 tip
$38.04 Total

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the mobile waiters receipts always remind me of the generic not-really-fusion hotel foods, or travel foods of generic places. the I think of the food writers who explain never to have the Caesar salad at the Hilton in Bangkok or w/e, because there is no way the ingredients are fresh or it's something anyone cares about preparing and you're a million times more likely to get food poisoning than if you ate street food

xxp i'm also sure the dude in canada used my email to create a dropbox account. when i went there to create an account using my email it told me i already had an account, so i thought that maybe i'd just forgotten about creating it, requested a new password, went in the account and happened upon four or five pics of landscapes, then realised the name shown wasn't mine. last activity on there was from a few years back so i kept the dropbox account and sorry for his 4-5 pics.

Ha, this happened to me with Microsoft Live. I tried to set up a Live account (Win8 tablet apps need it) and someone already had - reset pwd, channge the stupid name and avatar made, now its MINE SUCKER.

At aspen dental on Airport. Dinner tomorrow night you think.

No particular email stands out, but this week someone has started to use my address to sign up for newsletters.

As far as I can tell, it is a diabetic member of the NRA.

Somebody used my anonymous spam catcher email to sign up for and then not continue to pay for a Spotify premium account.

I got an email from Apple today saying someone had added my email as their backup emergency recovery thingy. I went to click on something then had second thoughts: Im not sure it was a legit Apple advice.

So the guy with my gov't name in the Bay Area, who usually gets requests to have the jacuzzi fixed in one of the condos he rents or special offers to the San Francisco Symphony, ordered a pair of compression socks that cost $23.49. ONE pair of SOCKS that cost $23.49.

The socks people thoughtfully included his mailing address, which I promptly looked up. It's a hotel in the Tenderloin used by seniors and vagrants.

What

Compression socks are expensive.

maybe he kindly bought some compression socks for someone else

Billing address matched.

Nothing wrong with being an old man living in the Tenderloin with some varicose veins. Glad he can make it to the symphony AND to Oakland to manage those condos.

You had one job, google.

http://i.imgur.com/5padVDA.png

lol no way

wait, why did you get that one!?

you see, Trayce, when you sign up for a new gmail address it asks if you have an existing address to send the backup details to

Ah. I'd forgot about that.

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$13.99 Chicken Fajita Cobb
$0.00 Chipotle Ranch
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 New Mexico Red Sauce
$12.59 Three

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$1.51 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$3.99 tip
$32.07 Total

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Can't believe they made Trevion sign up for this shit.

http://i.imgur.com/Ze6cBsE.png

Hint:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/16/Edmodo_logo.svg/140px-Edmodo_logo.svg.png

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From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$0.00 Our Original Fajitas for 2
$32.99 Chicken
$1.85 Add Cheese and Sour Cream
$9.99 Cowboy Queso

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$2.79 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$8.07 tip
$55.68 Total

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Mobile Waiters

Hello All,

About 20:05, Sunday, 22-March-2015, the negatives developing machine began honking with two error codes: E868 and E808, "NC1 ... system ... is abnormal ... .

There were still negatives in the machine so we let them finish coming out and did NOT load any more at that time.

About 20:30 we called RIGM, & Michael picked up, & after telling him the error codes, he gave us some conditions to look for IF we decide to continue without dealing with "chemical dumps, etc, ..." like is the recently processed film have any milky / cloudy areas on the film ?

Looked OK but the error codes would NOT clear, so Michael said to shut it down, & he said that he would escalate our ticket (# 999709), & someone should check up in the morning.

Thx, SteveK
UoU-SCL-Mac-IT

"Reasoning with a child is fine, if you can reach the child's reason without destroying your own." ~ John Mason Brown

that final quote is kind of dark

NC1 ... system ... is abnormal ... Dave, stop ... Stop, will you? Stop, Dave ... Will you stop Dave? ... Stop, Dave.

The other day, I regret to advise I was on the other side of this equation. Yes, I sent a misdirected email :( I've been trying to find someone to take over my apartment lease, and an acquaintance tweeted me asking for more info, adv me her email address.

I emailed her twitter handle instead of her gmail, as the username. Realised my error a few days later when I hadnt heard back, but I SENT THE WRONG PERSON MY FULL STREET ADDRESS AND PHOTOS OF THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE :(

I just hope its a dead email/the person doesnt live in this country.

probably posting about it on a hamster fan forum

I think most australians have yet to get email so you're probably ok?

hey now

in the us we mostly use "America Online"

Everyone's hanging out in Uncle Julio's Perth and giggling at you.

Thank you for ordering from Mobile Waiters!

From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$13.99 Chicken Fajita Cobb
$0.00 Chipotle Ranch
$6.17 Fajita (kids)
$0.00 Chicken
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 New Mexico Red Sauce
$12.59 Three
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 New Mexico Red Sauce
$12.59 Three

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$2.82 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$8.16 tip
$56.31 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 6:00 PM

Please note that your total may be slightly different if any special requests you made cost extra.

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Mobile Waiters

whenever this thread is bumped i get a pavlovian craving for mexican food

omg I was just going to post that! I get a massive craving for chips and salsa.

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Hello Kyla Henderson,

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From Uncle Julio's Perimeter:
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 Salsa Verde
$12.59 Three
$0.00 Chicken Enchiladas
$0.00 Salsa Verde
$12.59 Three

$-5.00 Discount: Coupon
$1.41 Tax
$4.99 Delivery
$3.78 tip
$30.36 Total

Thank you. If any of your information has changed. Please be available to contact

Current Approximate Delivery Time: 6:49 PM

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Mobile Waiters

Jim,

Thank you for your interest in serving in the Usher/Greeter ministry. Please fill out the attached application and return it to me. Let me know if you have any questions.

In His Service,

Don ###
########
Usher/Greeter ministry

So open the application to see what questions are asked:

If you were to die tonight and stand before God and He asked you why should I let you into heaven,

what would your answer be?

and

Please write out your personal testimony on how you became a Child of God.

TO BE A GODDAMNED USHER/GREETER.

Then I get another email with an user/greeter handbook attached. It goes into great detail about what to do if someone has a heart attack, seizures, heat exhaustion, diabetics, and mentally unbalanced or disruptive persons:

The tenor or our times has created a climate where increasingly we may be exposed to mentally unbalanced persons. It is the responsibility of every usher and greeter to watch for unbalanced or disruptive persons, or actual threats to the leadership on the platform or any member of the congregation. In order to avert many disruptions and even in some instances, tragedy:

-One usher per aisle should always remain at the rear of the sanctuary, sitting in the seats reserved for ushers.
-Keep an eye on the congregation in front of you and be alert for unusual movement.
-Observe facial expressions of strangers entering the building for any tell-tale signs of a violent or argumentative nature. If you see such persons, do not attempt to confront them, but notify the usher/greeter coordinator, pointing out these individuals
-If someone moves toward the stage, or any member of the leadership team when not invited, move with them and be prepared to prevent them from getting onto the stage.
-Always watch the pastor/speaker for signals pointing out a disruptive or unbalanced person

The tenor of our times!

Write Don back and ask for clarification on what that means.

Also what denomination is that church?

Not RC.

My dad's an usher at his LDS precinct. He tells me one of his duties is to close the door and not let anyone in during Communion.

To which I asked, what the hell is going on during the rest of the service? People walking in and out like they're registering for fall classes?

And the power of memory – Jeff's misdirected email brought back from 30 years ago the face of an usher at St. Albert's, this redfaced Rich Hall-looking cat with a mustache. Nice guy and all, but his bloodshot eyes always begged for redemption.

Not RC.

My dad's an usher at his LDS precinct. He tells me one of his duties is to close the door and not let anyone in during Communion.

To which I asked, what the hell is going on during the rest of the service? People walking in and out like they're registering for fall classes?

And all this time, I thought it was just the Protestants who wandered around like it was a book fair.

I think Catholics get an extra helping of shame if they're late