Summarise a Novel in 25 Words

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"Polite Lies: On Being a Woman Caught Between Cultures" by Kyoko Mori

Life in Japan: Mom kills self; hates everyone. Life in America: whines about Mom killing self; hates everyone.

X/1999 series by CLAMP

It takes me over 1000 pages before I make a decision. Crap, now my best friend wants to kill me.

-- Insomnia -- Stephen King

Fresh Widower faces colour trip by quitting sleeping. Discovers new dimensions. Saves all of them. Abandons new love dying in a pathetic self-sacrifice.

Softmachine / William S. Burroughs

Cock. Arse. Cum. Drugs. Southamerica. Human insects. More cocks. More cum. More drugs. All in a blender.

Lolita / Vladimir Nabukov

Writer sexually obsessed by little girls. Marries mother, loves daughter. Mother dies. F**ks daughter. Drives around. Kills daughters secret pedophil lover.

"Much ado about nothing" by Shakespeare

Messina 1600: Two couples like each other but can't show. They find together and the bads are killed or stopped.

Return of the King, Tolkien

"Oi Gandalf! No! Why couldn't the giant eagles have flown us here in the first place?"

Schiller, Räuber

Young people frighten nuns.

Best regards,

rs

Homo Faber - Max Frisch

Man retuns from South America to Europe. By the way f***s own daughter. Meet her mom, notice what he've done.

Little people find jewellery that belongs to big people and travel miles to burn them.
-- dog latin (doglati...), February 24th, 2004.

Lord of The Rings -ha ha!

The war is finally over and has left us all a bit fucked up. London is burning. What's the point of life anymore?

7 habits of highly effective people
make a bunch of lists. Think about stuff. Brush your teeth. Get a haircut. Floss after meals. Numb the pain with drugs. Don’t talk to strangers.

I think that's the general gist of it... never read it properly. forgot to put it on my list.

*quote*
Rules for Summaries
(actually, a few modest hints, I'm a foreigner everywhere)

1. Describe, don't comment
2. Don't try to be smarter than the book you've read.
3. Always imagine your audience doesn't know the book.

*/quote off*

4. Don't follow any smart ass rules but do as you think it should be done

'H' - Christiane F.
(True Story of)

Young girl, unhappy. Pot, heroin,. Prostitution, finds love. Best friend dies, moves to grandma’s, happy, unhappy, drugs. Back to city more drugs. Carries on living.

Harry Potter by Joanne K. Rowling:
Young wizard is fighting against the bad wizards.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov:

"Passionate feelings about young girls especially the one and only child Lolita don't ever let middle-aged Humbert Humbert rest. Pychologically great written in the victim's point of view. Unhappy, open end."

By the way, your forum/thread is mentioned in German DER SPIEGEL... as through the intire world-press I think :-)

HeRMaNN HeSSe. SiDDHaRTHa.

Peace, man.
(or)
Don't eat and smile, you're in India.

Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift

Man goes OTT concocting story as to why he was late home from the pub.

I'll join the army. War is hell. People want wars. People are idiots. People are also selfish cruel pieces of sh*t. Proved again, again, again,...

Wild at Heart by Barry Gifford:

Southern White Trash break parole and act like idiots but its OK as they're Elvis fans.

Lord of the Flies - William Golding.

Religious stuff. Hysteria. Hope no-one notices the cop-out deus ex machina ending.

The Chrysalids - John Wyndham.

Religious stuff. Hysteria. Hope no-one notices the cop-out deus ex machina ending.

"I Capture The Castle" - Dodie Smith

My artistic family's living in ruins. Enter American brothers, heirs.
My selfish sister dazzles both while I scribble deep thoughts and pine in my tower.

Any Harlan Coben mystery (with the possible exception of the Myron Bolitar ones): Five different stories are started. Someone disappears. A significant other of the disapearee solves finds them, tying up all loose ends in all five stories.

"Cry, the Beloved Country"

Murderer's father befriends victim's father and feels like shit for 320 pages.

Stephen King - The Shining:

Don't let a borderline alcoholic psycho run a hotel built on an Indian graveyard. It's just asking for trouble.

The Bible:

THE CHALLENGING TRUTH ABOUT THE PROPHESIED MESSIAH (JESUS, GOD'S OWN SON), WHO CAME, DIED FOR YOUR SIN, ROSE, WANTS TO TRANSFORM YOU INTO HIS IMAGE.

Thomas Mann - Der Zeuberberg (The Magic Mountain)

guy goes for a visit into the mountains, feels a little sick, stays for years.

James Joyce - Ulysses

walking around - nothing much to do - boring other people - why not leave out punctuation at the end, just for fun? It´s art, is it?

Terminator

Booom, bang, completely distruction wwhoaaar!!!

Cross Stitch - Diana Gabaldon
Claire meets husband in Scotland after worldwar, magicly back in time 400 years, meets rebel, great love, witnesses scottish history unfold, helps applying 20century knowledge.

Austin Powers 1

Groovie man shags groovie ladys. Save the world by shaggin all over.
Behave!

Christoph Ransmayer "Die letzte Welt"

A freaky Austrian describes a stone on 3o pages, the next 100 pages are about the mountain in the back of the little village tomi. a copy of the metamorphosis of Ovid...

Enduring Love, Ian McEwan

First man pursued by crazy second man is understandably annoyed when wife fails to believes him. A hostage situation later the first man realises that even when he's right, he's wrong.

I know it's a play, but I couldn't resist: Angels in America.

America sucks. So do Mormons.

The Old Man and The Sea:

There is an old man. Old man talks to himself. Catches fish. Talks to fish. Loses fish. Carries mast on his back. Falls asleep (or dies, whichever).

Ernest Hemingway: Did I mention the mast resembles a CROSS?!

Thomas Pynchon "V."
Everybody is there: Bodine, Profane & Stencil... V. is also there...but who or what is V.? And what is happening around us? Just a problem of teeth?...(Was Kilroy there?)and remember Wittgenstein!

Lolita - V. Nabokov

La desidero, la cerco, la trovo, la uso.
Mi getta.
Uccido, e scrivo.

Life of Pi - Yann Martel

Ship sinks. On the lifeboat kid is stuck with tigar, hyena, zebra and orangutan. Lands in Mexico. At the end the animals where actually humans.

The Physicists by Friedrich Durrenmatt
there is brilliant physist hiding in an insane asylum, hes there to keep his work safe from the world. everyone who was sane in the beginning is crazy, and vice versa!

A monkey books a hotel room. Then he has a few things to do. When he gets there he is an old men.

Macbeth

Man is fooled by witches. He believes it and kills everybody to become king. People get angry and one very angry man kills him.

Macbeth

Three´witches tell a man, that he will be king of scotland, so he kills the king to be king and gets killed.

Star Trek: Nemesis

Good baldy beats cloned baldy. The android dies.

Jacopo Ortis-Ugo Fosco

A depressed and poor man takes political refuge in countryside. he fall in love. the girl have to marry a rich man. he kills himself.

THE TWO TOWERS - J.R.R. Tolkien
'Cunning' king hides in fort with entire civilian population while his kingdom is overrun -defends fort with 300 old men & children. When an ally kingdom is attacked he gathers up in haste a great army and goes to the rescue - of the OTHER KINGDOM... ???

THE BIBLE
God kills a bunch of people, even newborns. Then repents and sends his inoccent son to the slaughter. Make love not war. 2000 years later Mel Gibson makes a kind of video-clip movie about it. THE END

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY - OSCAR WILD
'Brad Pitt' hides a picture in his house. When he looks at it he dies. Much before this 'Jennifer Aniston' dies in a depressing theather-house.
In the middle we see how O.W. is witty & clever & gay...

chinese students, who are sent for reeducation, educate a farmer chick. she then recognizes that she can have whoever she wants. life is shit!

Agatha Christie-Murder at the Orient Express.

Man gets murdered on a train. A Belgian solves the crime. Everybody has done it.