I Need Kitchen Knives plus Kurt Russell is Kicking Your Ass

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Seriously, if there is a weapon called the Vengagun, I am suddenly way more down with guns than I was just a day ago.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 05:20 (twenty years ago) link

har! i just played the first Vegnagun sequence last night. i'm now learing how to play Sphere Break.

also, why can't all ps2 games have lesbian massage sequences?

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 05:25 (twenty years ago) link

I got a Henckels block but I bought my knives piecemeal. Unless you're doing major preparation, you really only need a big knife, a small knife, and a serrated knife.

― myfriendmyfriend, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 05:26 (twenty years ago) link

The whole game is kinda messed. BTW: take you time and do the side quests. They're more fun then the storyline ones, except that stupid cactuar one. Gawd I hated doing that in the last game too.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 14:05 (twenty years ago) link

heh heh, tombot way funnier than c-man, so it's okay!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 14:12 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.posterplanet.net/pictures/images/Kr2b1.gif

buy the block tombot
don't be a big ol' knife nerd
life is way too short

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:18 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.jonprovost.com/JonsPhotos/Computer.JPG

This has always been my advice to the graduates: whatever you do, get a serrated knife.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:32 (twenty years ago) link

My most recent experience with a serrated knife ended in huge amounts of my blood all over the damn place. Spinktor was there, he saw the whole thing. My pinky was jacked up for weeks. Costco has a big unnecessary Henckels block for $160, I think I might just go get that one and stop worrying about it.

http://www.frontiernet.net/~cineman/break.jpg

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:34 (twenty years ago) link

I got a nice Wustoff set. 8 piece, $300. Wedding present. Just marry.

― Chris 'Knuckle Deep' V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:42 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.pathguy.com/russell.gif

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:48 (twenty years ago) link

make sure you have one
dishwasherable small knife
(dishpan hands k-suck)
http://www.wingkong.net/newpics/newer/shiva.jpg

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:53 (twenty years ago) link

Re kitchen knives, get a big Global knife. It's susposably what all the real chefs use, and, like them, you just need one of them unless you're going to do a lot of fish filleting or something. Global knives are really good cause they hold their edge really long and they're really really light but they are also pretty expensive. But you just need one. This one's good.

― in lieu of Ed (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:55 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.film.warka.pl/images/kurt2/computer.jpg

for pinky carving I recommend the paring knife

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:56 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.pub.umich.edu/daily/1998/nov/11-04-98/photos/fileartssoldier.gif

Kurt sez: Be a knife nerd. What better kind of nerd to be?

Don't get the block. Don't buy boutique German knives. Find a restaurant supply store and get a couple of Dexter-Russell knives. They're the brand butchers use. They stay sharp. They're ugly as shit. They're cheap. They're what Kurt would use.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:58 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.russell-harrington.com/

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:01 (twenty years ago) link

Unless your wedding cost $299 or less then that trade off is not a very good one, Chris.

http://ibelgique.ifrance.com/cinedestin/films/n/newyork19972.jpg

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:11 (twenty years ago) link

This thread is alarmingly lacking in Tango & Cash references. God, that movie was so fucking terrible.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:12 (twenty years ago) link

CAPTAIN RON WASN'T BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU??? WHAT THE FUCK.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:16 (twenty years ago) link

My barracks roommates never got Captain Ron.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:20 (twenty years ago) link

I don't think anyone ever got Captain Ron.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:23 (twenty years ago) link

i feel a little calum abt this, but "6" semi-stiff crvd. boner" from that russell-harrington site made me chuckle.

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:25 (twenty years ago) link

I've long had this fantasy about opening up a theme bar in San Francisco called 'Escape from L.A.' I think it would do very well.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

You could serve "Mango and Dash," a drink made from tropical fruit and Angostura bitters.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

haha, this would be written above the bar:

"You may have survived Cleveland. You may have escaped from New York. But, this is L.A., vato. And, you're about to find out that this f*cking city can kill anybody!"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:35 (twenty years ago) link

also, the bartender would only ever say: "Call me Snake"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:36 (twenty years ago) link

Patron: How much?
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Patron: Uh, pardon? How much?
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Patron: I don't understand.
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Patron: (walks away without paying)

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:37 (twenty years ago) link

DAMMIT ally I just wrote MY version of that scene. Eh. Here it is anyway.

"Can I have an 'Unlawful Entry,' no rocks please?"

"Call me Snake"

"Uh, can I have an 'Unlawful Entry,' no rocks, SNAKE?"

"Call me Snake" etc until customer slaps bartender hilariously

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:39 (twenty years ago) link

And the jukebox only has John Carpenter!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:40 (twenty years ago) link

The three of you are really clever together, somebody call cable access.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:40 (twenty years ago) link

"Hey, what's playing on the jukebox?"

"It's this...Thing!"

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:42 (twenty years ago) link

Dude we don't need cable access, we have the internet.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:44 (twenty years ago) link

Anyway Spencer your bar totally has to happen, and I want to be a bartender, but I think ME w/an eyepatch saying "call me Snake" is actually funnier than anything we could possibly post to this thread.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

Tracer OTM, that concept wins

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

Chef in Kitchen of Escape from LA: Snake, Which cutlery do you think I should use to prepare this dish?
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Chef: I DID call you Snake.
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Chef: Fuck you. (stabs Snake with an 8" serrated blade purchased from the same supplier that supplies Peter Lugers, the multipurpose bread choice of all Chefs everywhere)

xpost Tracer guess what you're getting for your birthday??? If you didn't guess "eyepatch" you're a moron??

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:47 (twenty years ago) link

hahahhahahaha oh my God.

Tom you just say that because no one's thought of putting Momus behind the bar yet.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:49 (twenty years ago) link

Dear god.

In my mind I just constructed a version of this "Call me Snake" dialog.

Between "Snake" (who is now actually Tracer Hand) and Aja. It still hasn't ended in my mind.

I'm going to go outside and have a cigarette before I go insane.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:50 (twenty years ago) link

God now it's Momus, Aja and Tracer. "Call me Snake!" "What?" "You're both Republicans you know." "What?" "CALL ME SNAKE!" "What?"

I'm going to go play in traffic, actually.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:51 (twenty years ago) link

i've seen a nude photo of Momus, snakes a good name for him

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:51 (twenty years ago) link

heh you could also call Momus "Big Trouble in Little China"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:59 (twenty years ago) link

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:00 (twenty years ago) link

I love Tracer Hand.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:00 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.carbuyingtips.com/pics/crash8.jpg

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:03 (twenty years ago) link

You know, you're the one who brought up Kurt Russell to begin with, you have really no one to blame for all this but yourself. How much more info could you possibly need about all these knives anyway?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:05 (twenty years ago) link

Get some Wusthof knives, Tombot.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:07 (twenty years ago) link

bringing up Kurt Russell is not exactly an invitation to talk about Aja and Momus' naked wanger within a dozen or so words of one another.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:10 (twenty years ago) link

I love you too Nicole!! I still say Global though.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:11 (twenty years ago) link

Google in being more helpful than ILX ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHOCKER, film at 11 presented by Sue Simmons and Chuck Scarborough.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:20 (twenty years ago) link

I used to call one of my coworkers Snake, incidentally, for a really brief period, because for some reason on 9/11 he kept yelling "Just call me Snake! I will protect you!" and Spencer's bar reminds me of this.

The best thing about this story is one time we saw a mouse in the office, right, and dude shrieked like a girl and jumped on a desk. Way to save the world, Snake.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:23 (twenty years ago) link

just back from holiday, global knives are the shit, buy them in fact just buy one, the chef's knife, and a whetstone, and maybe a flexible bladed one. I'll read the thread madness later.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:51 (twenty years ago) link

I've never heard of global knives, but if Tracer and Ed are recommending them they must be the best.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 22:21 (twenty years ago) link

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