ha! i was wondering how long it would take for ian to get here...
And it's taken even longer for me to get back.
I was crushing on old-school Hillary Clinton (in her Twenties) -- probably because she resembles my supremely attractive friend Erin (who, despite liking me, is with someone else right now and so she's horribly unattainable). Goodness gracious, I'm an absolute sucker for blondes these days. But after dropping by a bookstore yesterday where my long-time friend Molly (who is not a blonde, mind you) works -- oh goodness, she's always stunning but yesterday I really wanted to pounce on her because she looked so exceptionally scrumptious (without even trying!) and was just so bubbly and charming. I wanted to playfully tackle her behind the counter and from there on it would've been wonderfully inappropriate! Anyhow, she's invited me along to dinner and some other event with a group of her friends on Friday -- it's not a date essentially, but at heart I wouldn't mind if it twisted into one. Ooh, I just remembered that she complimented my appearance! No-one ever does that! Squee! Cuddlestein Mountain! Nuvvieworld! Okay, I'm just getting ridiculous -- I'm just excited because it's a prospect to escape social poverty with a possible hint of romance. I'm probably being too optimistic; I can't help it! I've wanted something to look forward to!
― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, August 16, 2005 2:41 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― the call of the taint (HI DERE), Tuesday, 24 March 2009 22:06 (eleven years ago) link
Your user name is most appropriate here.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 24 March 2009 22:14 (eleven years ago) link
i am now at the point of spamming the board with this, but i am very proud of it, so whatever.
― I will "Build This City" on your GODDAMN GRAVE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 05:59 (eleven years ago) link
Ian Riese-Moraine was too good to be true.
― dan, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 23:26 (eleven years ago) link
cracked me up the 2nd time I saw that movie as well
― CaptainLorax, Sunday, 29 March 2009 19:59 (eleven years ago) link
1 minute straight laughing
― CaptainLorax, Sunday, 29 March 2009 20:01 (eleven years ago) link
oh wow this thread is a font of brilliance (most of which i've seen before, but collected in one place it's all magnified)
― Stop relegating Hull you miserable gits! (country matters), Sunday, 29 March 2009 20:07 (eleven years ago) link
Not a quote and I don't know the original post with it but still:
― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Monday, 6 July 2009 21:20 (eleven years ago) link
also, RIP Mona Lisa Ludatits
― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Monday, 6 July 2009 21:23 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah you pathetic FUCK i *am* a hippie and YOU are a moron, and I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel, make a dinner that makes your mouth water, and jump hoops around all the lame supermodels you jack off to.― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, August 15, 2003 2:34 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― estela, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 05:16 (eleven years ago) link
RIP Michael S. Jackson
― Emmet Otter's SugBan Christmas (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 05:38 (eleven years ago) link
RIP Queen of *Plop*
― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 13:22 (eleven years ago) link
Yup. If you spend long getting friendly before you bring "I want to be on you" into it, then you're kind of betraying whatever friendship you've established beforehand. She's gonna think you were sweaty-palming it all along (which you were), and it might make things difficult for a while.
And you know this, that's why you (probably) never reveal the sexual tension you've built into yr. "friendships", thus sparing yrself the ugliness. And possible blowjobs.
Moral: you have to be creepy. You have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning, even if you choose to go smooth and disguise it as "romantic interest". I understand that the romantic interest route is very popular.
I didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until I was in my 20s. Drove me fucking crazy. I obsessed about it and about my own sexual loserdom to the point of incapacitating mental illness and listening to Swans records. Then I got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and ... well, let's discreetly draw the blinds on the indiscretions of the past.
Disagree that getting laid is not a curative, though. It is a curative. I never worried about it after that, and never had trouble making my intentions clear to girls I liked.
― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 2:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
I am the proprietor of the King Arthur Bookshop in Cornwall, England. A customer of mine has requested a copy of Sexual Personae - Art & Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson and as yet I have not located a Supplier.
Please recommend a UK Supplier I may contact to obtain a copy.
― Mike Karnon, Tuesday, October 7, 2003 5:25 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
HI I AM THE AMAZING RANDY
― AMAZING RANDY, Tuesday, October 7, 2003 5:30 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah, well, I'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so the flowers of indie rock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to me,
I keep wondering if Ph1l's wife has spina biffita.
― faucet that ass (sarahel), Friday, 10 July 2009 10:57 (eleven years ago) link
do girls always do fanny farts?
i was wondring,because my girlfreind always does fanny farts in sex,is this a naturak thing?
― topman, 23. elokuuta 2005 18:26 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
- - -
It's the sound of your unborn children being sucked into an other dimension.
― jocelyn (Jocelyn), 23. elokuuta 2005 18:43 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― Tuomas, Friday, 10 July 2009 12:36 (eleven years ago) link
fyi if u dont stop using the phrase "er indoors" i will fly to ur indoors and kill er, and u
― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, January 16, 2009 8:02 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― estela, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 09:12 (eleven years ago) link
Dan and I found this thread very useful today.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 22:55 (eleven years ago) link
Mesa just played Chrono Trigger for over an hwesa. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesan Japanese. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Not that Mesa could wesaad alot ta it(one character speaks in an insanely thick and formal SAMURAI dialet, der woyal family speaks high keigo which Mesa oddly understood. Huh? not sure wha that mesaans. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Alot ta Kanji, toosa), wha Mesa did wesaad is alot funnier, and Mesa wouldn't have to wesaad it anyway. Huh? Mesa could play it in wussian, swedish, arabic. Way? Esqueeze mesa. DOESN'T MATTER. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa can play it with mesa feet without lookin' directly at der creen. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa'VE DONE MesaT BEFORE. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesan fact Mesa set der battle modes to harder ones just for more ta a challenge. Oh. Flbulbulbu. THE ATTACK NAMES ARE DIFFERENT AND MesaT DOESN'T MATTER. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa haven't played it in years and Mesa can just go 'Oh, now Mesa need to do that, so Mesa'll press dis sequence ta buttons and kill' SPINAL FUNCTION. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesaf Mesa did a blood transfuction Mesa'm sure der wesacievin' human(in addition to gettin' high from all der mesads) would BE ABLE TO PLAY CHRONO TRIGGER. Oh, NOOOOO! That's not bery long, either. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa used to do 4-5 hwesa stretches. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa don't wesamember how long it took to beat lavos when Mesa'm SUPPOSED to lose. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa've seen all 11 main endings and variations ta most ta derm. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa used to level up by playin' der game through. Oh, NOOOOO! Fight der same series ta wimps in der forect for an hwesa or two? Mesa DON'T THINK SO. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa think Mesa'll BEAT THE GAME 3 times. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Der same way EVERY TIME. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Fastest way to winnin'. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dern Mesa'd work at accumulatin' more items and becomin' so strong NOTHING could stop mesa. Huh? But only after completin' EVERY POSSIBLE SIDE STORY. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Dis was accomplished in part by a trick mesa brother (ex-in-law) found. Oh, NOOOOO! He spend 6 hours fightin' der same battle over and over. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Steal der same item from der same monsters. Huh? Mesa was FLOORED when Mesa heard that. Way? Esqueeze mesa. He had a save on der system with MAXED OUT magic power on EVERY character. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Dern Mesa wesant on to bit by bit max every character as much as possibul Way? Esqueeze mesa. Dern Mesa lent it to mesa dern girlfriend, and somehow that save was erased. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! tis wuite possibulder fact that Mesa had a Game Gear save on it that was so fucked it screwed der system, but she may (VERY DOUBTFUL) have deleted it on purpose, but Mesa think she was ashamed ta ACCIDENTALLY deletin' it and lied. Oh. Flbulbulbu. But Mesa don't wesamember if yousa CAN just delete a save in CT. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dis game was mesa sole entertainment source save wandom TV things for 2-3 years. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! THAT'S MesaNSANE. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa had an old-school Geocities site(long gone, Mesa loved it) dedicated to subtexts and wesatardo descriptions ta characters. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa sprayed mesa hair der color ta mesa fav character, Mesa bought a wesaplica sword like der one he carried, GREW MY HAIR TO THE SAME LENGTH. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Used his name on EVERY mesassage board, wait, dery wesare all CHAT WOOMS dern. Oh, NOOOOO! Wesamember CHAT WOOMS? Derre was a CT chatroom Mesa had wesagular DAILY mesaetings in. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa SOMEHOW developed a crush on der wesabmaster until Mesa saw she was wesaally palsied and horse-like. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Still cool. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Not attractive. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! WOW. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Dis is der most mesaaningless crap Mesa've ever written, but tis a bit ta an insight onto how far into things Mesa get. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Any CT fans? Anyone else have a similar past with a different game?
― and the oscar goes to "HOT TUB TIME MACHINE!" (jjjusten), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 23:07 (eleven years ago) link
that site will ruin me
― and the oscar goes to "HOT TUB TIME MACHINE!" (jjjusten), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 23:08 (eleven years ago) link
I love you guys, but seriously, that Jar Jar generator makes hampsterdance look like keyboard cat.
― http://tinyurl.com/lrhdut (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 16 July 2009 01:44 (eleven years ago) link
Oh, NOOOOO! Flbulbulbu.
― well I'm married to a limping, crescent-shaped abortion (sarahel), Thursday, 16 July 2009 01:51 (eleven years ago) link
man I love this thread
― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, 26 October 2012 18:20 (seven years ago) link
noooooooooooo my extranormal link is dead
― I'M THE ONLY ON (jjjusten), Friday, 26 October 2012 18:41 (seven years ago) link
― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, 26 October 2012 18:42 (seven years ago) link
my greatest lifes work ruined
― I'M THE ONLY ON (jjjusten), Friday, 26 October 2012 18:43 (seven years ago) link
"I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel" is in the running as one of the strangest things ever said on this message board
― DJP, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 19:53 (four months ago) link
^ As posted by Orbit (cstarrcstar...) , August 15th, 2003
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 20:00 (four months ago) link