start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

LOL somebody just yawned.

Okay it's over. The end went like this:

HUGE SNORTING NOSE BLOW

"That's the end of our presentation!"

Whenever my boss sneezes she follows with "Damn it!" She gets so angry and even somehow offended every time.

When I'm forced to be in on conference calls, I sometimes pull up a sound search engine like http://www.findsounds.com/ and play random noises from my PC into the phone (lion roars, car crashes, airplanes flying low, horror movie screams). Nobody can work out what's going on and it derails things splendidly.

omg thats a brilliant idea

(sadly im in an open plan office so I couldnt get away with such shenanigans but i love it nonetheless)

yeah idk if you cant make yr own sounds you get no love from me tbh

Home Depot keeps all of their metal-handled hand trucks outside, even in way below freezing weather. Absent-mindedly keep your un-gloved hands on the thing for a couple minutes in 15 degrees and experience some serious pain. Rubber grips would solve the problem.

seems like a liability issue

I was put in the mind of german soldiers getting chilblains on their feet from boots with nails in them in the russian winter. I'm not actually sure what a chilblain is, and I don't think I have them, but I was running to my car in pain to get to the heat as soon as possible, and it did feel like the kind of thing that would probably turn into some kind of frostbite or damage with another couple of minutes. OTOH my dumb ass should have worn gloves.

...wait, whats a hand truck?

im getting pretty rationally angry at my lungs wheres my bloody (sputum) thread

Actually I think hand truck isn't the exact right term anyway -- hand trucks are those upright two wheeled dealies you use to move a bunch of boxes or a piece of furniture. I'm talking about the flatbed carts.

Oh a trolley.

send a hand truck to do a hand job

I will forever think of a "trolley" only as a streetcar type of thing, probably due to Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood

yeah, I would never think of a flatbed cart if someone told to go get a trolley

I'd be more like "Do you also want me to pick up some sourdough bread?"

you're 2/3 of the way to a Hardee's/Carl's Jr.

Gonna put another IA in here for drivers that don't use turn signals. I hope you put the energy you save from not moving your hand inches away from the steering wheel to some good use.

Drivers who throw cigarette butts out the window

"But what am I supposed to do with them?"

I don't know. Swallow them and choke to death a little sooner

 I hope you put the energy you save from not moving your hand inches away from the steering wheel to some good use.

Ha I literally say this in my head on a daily basis.

you dont imo want these ppl to lose an iota of concentration from not crashing the car, which is what unlike to assume would happen instantly were they to break out the signal move

I like

but what about the classic (1) slow down, confusing drivers behind you, (2) begin turning even more slowly, (3) signal? surely those people would not lose concentration by signaling earlier

Once saw someone get out of their own car, pick up the still-burning fag and chuck it back through the window of the 4WD it had come from, then drive off

i read that as "flag" twice lol

these colors don't smolder

Welcome to flagfour country

... get coat etc

Stopping at a stoplight, and having the car behind stop a foot or less off my rear bumper. Especially frustrating in the early a.m. nowadays, when the angle of their headlights climbs higher on my car interior as their car inches forward. Years ago, a passenger vented to me as I was doing the same thing, and said I should be able to see the rear tires of a forward car over my hood. That locked in as the acceptable, polite distance - about ~4' away. I'm sure in 99% of the cases it's not an aggressive move, more like a placid impatience or false sense of progress, but it still lights me up and has me off the blocks slowly when the light changes. Want to get to a "no harm, no foul" mindset.

Gonna put another IA in here for drivers that don't use turn signals. I hope you put the energy you save from not moving your hand inches away from the steering wheel to some good use.

― ©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Friday, February 20, 2015 6:28 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Getting angry at this is not irrational at all.

yeah, that's one for the disgusting savages thread. people who fail to use their indicators should be dragged out of their cars and summarily executed imo

the reason people have stopped using their blinkers in FL, I'm convinced, is because there are assholes who literally will speed up for no reason other than to deny you the ability to move over once you signal. I make it a habit of cutting them off anyway when this happens.

Heh, my wife used to drive like that. "Don't turn on your signal. People around here just see that as a point of vulnerability".

I admit to that too.

I'll always signal if I'm turning from one road to another, but on the highway, in some case-by-case scenario, I'll move over without notice just because I KNOW that Ford Supertruck behind me is just going to slam on the gas as soon as he sees my blinker.

I will admit to always signaling and, should some jerk use that as an opportunity to remove the space I was going to move into, use it as an opportunity to know I am somehow a more reasonable person this day than at least one other individual.

justify your superiority complex where you can, is what I'm saying

I always indicate and it drives me insane when other people don't or when they do it like 1/2 way into the turn. It's not an afterthought!

No, definitely not an afterthought. It should be ingrained by the time you get out of driver's ed. At least 5 seconds before a lane change. At least 100 feet before a turn.

I'll always signal if I'm turning from one road to another, but on the highway, in some case-by-case scenario, I'll move over without notice just because I KNOW that Ford Supertruck behind me is just going to slam on the gas as soon as he sees my blinker.

― pplains, Wednesday, February 25, 2015 2:47 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Does that seriously happen? And people say the internet turns people into jerks. It's actually cars.

drivers who don't signal enrage me

especially when you are turning left & they dont signal so you wait for them to go through & then they pop a left at the last minute & yr like whyyyyyy

The style of clickbait where the "reporter" merely selects excerpts or examples from some other bit of internet silliness and then unfunnily comments on it. "Check out this hilarious instagram account that mercilessly sends up the art world! This image macro is a real knee-slapper! [ gif] Here's another one of @whitewalls' molotov cocktails thrown into the Gagosian itself! [ gif]"

yeah, i signal the heck out of everything and only rarely get the sense that someone has tried to crowd me out of a signaled lane change. it happened the other day, fwiw, but i can't remember the last time before that. and it hardly matters. if you wanna be pushy, make the change anyway (i did). otherwise, just brake a little and take your next shot.

then again, i don't live in an automotive purgatory like florida or wash, dc. maine drivers tend to be pretty chill.

also i hate the construction site across from my house

"what's the most beeping we can do at 6am"
"no, let's find the oldest shittiest loudest concrete mixer"
"BEEPING WE NEED MORE BEEPING"

I found out about 9/11 from the loud construction workers outside my building.

#humblebrag

My new IA is people who don't know how a 4-way stop intersection works. Yes, you still have to stop at the Stop sign, even if you already came to a complete stop behind the guy in front of you. No, you can't piggy-back off the car in front of you as though you are being towed. No, if the car opposite you is turning left you can't go straight through at the same time. Also, if it's your turn to go, then you must go. Don't sit there and wave people through while you have cars piling up behind you.

And if someone honks at you for going out of turn, please don't act shocked and offended. Please flip them off like the asshole you are.

otm. 4-way stop is the quickest & most accurate IQ test devised by science

• Those people think 4-ways work by time waited, rather than order of appearance.

• Also, stop at the 4-way. If you're still coasting and I've come to a complete stop, it's my turn next since I have fulfilled my civic duty.

• People at a red light, sitting in the inside lane, who turn their left signal on after you've pulled up behind them.